#source tfln
Ares: Coffee is working.
Ares: Just killed a fly with my bare hands.
Ares: Don’t fuck with me.
Athena: I am NOT sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy
Eros: I don’t like interrupting booty calls. That’s just rude.
Aphrodite: Eros doesn’t understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps making people fall in love
Aphrodite: Of course Ares’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Zeus: Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hermes: I need a hoe opinion
Aphrodite: go on
Poseidon: i pushed Zeus in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left Hades downtown.
Athena: did you go back and get him?
Poseidon: nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hera: Zeus just said “I can’t wait to penetrate you tomorrow” I sat in silence for a second…he attempted to save it by saying “I can’t wait to enter you”.
Apollo: Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dionysus: is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hades: I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Eros: I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn’t scream romantic idk what does