you started to freeze after the fresh night breeze hit your skin. you just finished looking through the stack of paperwork at your office, so you decided to call it a day and go home, by bus.
it was the only way. if you started to walk home, you’d be there by tomorrow morning, so it made sense to just take the latest bus of the day.
when you arrived at the stop, no one was there. it’s understandable, who the hell would be waiting for the bus right now and right here, especially since there is nothing special in this district. most of your colleagues had driven home already and you were the only one who took the bus.
you waited, and waited. the bus is going to delay, and it wasn’t the first time that you needed to wait a whole twenty minutes for it to arrive.
plus, it was already cold and you have your working clothes on which aren’t the most warming ones.
/
you sighed heavily as you noticed a stranger approaching you. he was wearing a thick jacket and a wool hat. and he was holding something.
he was holding a bag of hot mini cakes. they still steamed really strong, means that they just came out of the oven and you could swear that you felt the warmth of those biscuits.
the boy sat down, just a few inches away from you. the scent of fresh baked cakes aroused your nostrils and your mouth immediately started to water. you were definitely hungry.
the boy was about your age, maybe a few years older, but not a lot. he had brown, silky hair and he was happily munching on his food. your mouth drooled by now over those cakes, you really wanted one.
it was getting too late, and you trembled badly. your cheeks were flushed red due the cold air and you clutched at your jacket which hung around your shoulders. damn, when will this stupid bus arrive.
/
“uhm, hello, miss.”, you heard a soft voice. it was the boy.
“yeah?”, you said back, sending him a weak yet polite smile.
“you’re trembling really bad. are you cold?”, he worriedly spoke.
“yes.”, you stuttered.
“do you want my jacket?”, he then added and you blushed even more. never did someone ask you a question like this one, and the fact that the boy next to you was a stranger, made it even more weird.
“but you don’t know me.”, you replied.
“but you’re cold. i can’t just sit here and watch you freezing your butt off.”, he started to unzip his jacket, and it revealed a big hoodie. no wonder why he wasn’t freezing at all.
“here take this.”, he threw his plush winter jacket over your shoulders and neck area. you leaned into the warmth.
“better right?”, he smiled and you nodded. by then he was right next to you to make sure you were okay.
/
“do you want one?”, he then asked and held out the bag of hot mini cakes. you gladly nodded and took one out of the white paper cone. your face lit up at the delicious taste.
“they’re really good!”, you chewed with a huge grin on your face.
“you must be hungry, here take another one.”, he said and you stuffed the second cake into your mouth.
“what’s your name?”, you mumbled while eating.
“minho, and yours?”
“y/n.”, you told him and laughed, trying to finish your second piece of cake. minho just softly smiled.
you were adorable.
_________________________________________________
this blog’s basically just me posting the stuff i already posted on instagram because i’m stupid lol. i hope you still like it and haven’t read it before:(
hyunjin’s hands roamed your entire body while he kissed your lips. your unsteady breathing filled the air, while you started to sprawl delicate kisses around his neck and jaw.
your hands attached to the back of his head, pulling at the short, soft strands of his black hair. hyunjin placed one of his hands on your waist, pushing you more to his hot body. the other one rubbed your upper thigh in small and smooth circles.
“h-hyunjin.”, you breathed heavily and he hummed in response.
“i missed you.”
“so much.”, you whispered against his lips.
he chuckled.
“i missed you too.”, he mumbled back.
both of you got carried away pretty fast. and in one swift motion, hyunjin started to glide his tongue over your bottom lip, not minding on exploring your mouth. and sometimes he would pull at your lips to spice things up.
hyunjin placed his hands around your neck while tilting your head the way he wanted in order to spread hickeys and love bites everywhere possible. you moaned at the stinging feeling.
both of you got lost in each others actions before the night turned into a pretty heated one.
(I mean just look at how he unhinges his jaw to eat the hamburger) . . . Let’s not even talk about what minho looks like he’s doing in the second picture…
↳Part 1/9 ofUnmatched, 2022 rewrite. Set several months after the events of Unrequited, you are now married and settled with the man you thought you’d never have. Yet when old secrets and bad habits resurface, things are not as entirely harmonious as they seem.
↳Female reader x Lee Know, female reader x Hyunjin
↳6.4k
!Strong language, established relationship, marriage au, love triangle au, thriller, romance, stripper-slash-escort Lee Know, husband Lee Know, heavy angst and tension, explicit sexual content, dominant Lee Know, oral sex (f. rec), storeroom sex, dirty talk, references to sex toys and aids, themes of casual sex, promiscuity, commitment issues and adult themes throughout !
A vow so sealed with a kiss had bound you to the man you loved for eternity, though it’s no stretch to suppose he claimed your soul long before the eyes of church and state ever deigned to recognise it.
Marriage was blissful. Marriage was harmonious. Marriage would change you both, they’d said, make you a better person through the responsibilities it comes with, the duties of a wife to her husband, of a husband to his wife.
Those people didn’t know you. They didn’t know Minho either.
For if they did, they’d have saved such pearls of wisdom for the next couple coming through.
You don’t think marriage has changed you. By all accounts, you’re the same old person you always were.
Your lips purse to the same pout they always do. Your hair is the same colour it always was. Even your general outlook on life remains naïvely optimistic, irrespective of the inevitable bad days you occasionally suffer through.
Rolling your car to a gradual stop and firmly switching the ignition, you reangle the rear-view mirror, taking a second to assess presentability before you get out. It’s by tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear that you’re momentarily blinded by a sharp glint; the silver wedding band on your ring finger, set with a single diamond that catches the dusky afternoon sunlight.
You admire it—the diamond demands that you must—spreading your fingers out, holding your hand under a dusted ray that beams through your car window. It sparkles, quietly reminding you that despite all the sameness, your life is vastly different now.
You suppose that if someone had informed you six months ago that you’d be married and relatively settled down by now, you’d have advised them in favour of industrial strength therapy and maybe a lobotomy or three.
Yet here you are; more than half a year into a marriage you never foresaw, with a man you can’t well live without.
Perhaps more miraculously than any of that, however, is the fact that anything has yet to go wrong.
a (incomplete) collection of voicemails on a phone that hasn’t been charged for over a year. // if i could have this entire thing in italics i would but i won’t. anyways, something a bit different imo. idk how i feel about it tho yikes warnings: implied reader death; please do not read if that will potentially put you in a bad mindset. ; alcohol wc:1.3k
[ 11:23am ]
“hey, y/n. it’s me. i know you probably won’t hear these-”
an exhaled breath of laughter.
“‘probably’? i know you won’t. you never used to check your voicemails, anyway, but- but now you really never will.”
floating through space (and a pile of junk) — lee felix.
: STRAY KIDS; husband!felix x fem!reader
: fluff.
: 1.3 k
: nothing except bad writing and bad title, no proofreading, also there’s one mention of the reader being shorter than Felix ♡
“You’re supposed to be cleaning!”
“In my defense, who cleans during the night?”
You huff, trying to snatch the polaroid camera Felix found in one of the cupboards away from him. “And in my defense, you’re busy all day. You know how much I hate cleaning the cupboards.”
Felix laughs, setting the camera aside he helps you get the remaining stuff out, then proceeds to grab a cloth to dust the shelves. Quite frankly, you feel like a terrible wife for making Felix work more after he’s already busy with tour preparations, but you’ve got no choice — you start sneezing up a storm at the slightest contact with dust, and you aren’t really gifted in the height department either. Neither is Felix, but he can, at least, reach the top shelves better than you could.
Premise:Being alone and ignored was one thing, you were used to that by now. But having each member of an idol group barrelling into your safe little sanctuary was not something you could have imagined. Now being torn away from your tiny cozy room all you wanted to do was get back to it. Even it meant losing home.
Authors notes: 9.2K words. I’m going to start including a word count in each drabble, as I have realized some of these reach over 5k. It’ll let people know if they’re opening up a mini novel or a short piece.
The comfort of the dark room, the silence you are so accustomed to now. No longer cold and dim, but a neutral sanctuary.
Or so you thought….
The doors unwarningly open, and a scream echoes in your enclosed space. Your eyes fly open, and are hit with a harsh stream of light. Making your brain stumble at the impact.
Squinting you fumble out of the space, cumbersomely forcing yourself to your feet. Your ears finally begin to work again as you can hear faint muffled speech smacking you in the head.
“I am so sorry! I didn’t know anyone would be hiding in there!”
“I was napping, not hiding.” You correct, rubbing your eyes, hoping the spinning would stop soon. Your eyes slowly begin to focus. When was the last time the light was on?
“Why would you nap in a closet?”
“It’s comfier than you’d thin-” Wait. Did you hear that right? The voice chuckles. Your eyes swim back to vision as you face your intruder.
“You’re Hyunjin. From StrayKids!” Really? In this whole situation that’s all you got? You mentally slap yourself. You had bigger things to worry about.
“Yeah! Are you a fan?” He replies brightly.
“Uh…” You take in his form from his iconic shoes to his blonde hair. “Was…?”
Looking at his face, more important his eyes. Yep, he’s definitely looking at you.
“Was? Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” His smile falters, but he recovers quickly.
“What are you doing here?” His outfit and makeup tells you he is filming something. But if he’s here then the others must be and a whole production team, which to you sounds like a right nightmare. Well it would be if you could have one.
“We’re filming for our new music video. What are you doing here?”
“Napping.”
“You came all this way, to this run down old building… to nap?” He looks at you skeptically, but you’re too lost in examining the room. An old classroom, the posters still on the wall hold some faint colour to them. Your favourite drawing hanging up was blue not black. Huh, who would have thought.
“Uh huh”
If anyone had asked you this morning if you would be standing here having a conversation with Hyunjin of Straykids, you would have laughed at them. Wait… you clearly missed something important.
Before you could open your mouth to assure yourself, the door of the classroom bursts open and three more members of skz file in.
“Hyunjin, we’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Changbin yells at him.
“We thought we heard a faint scream, we assumed it was you.” Jisung laughs.
“Oh so funny” He rolls his eyes.
“Who’s this?” Seungmin asks, eyes staring directly at you. Oh great, another one.
“I’m not sure I just met her. She was napping in the closet.” Hyunjin explains, gesturing at you.
“Well, Hi I’m Ji-” Jisung starts as the three members walk over to you.
“I know who you are.” You are struggling to keep your face blank from your rising panic.
“Apparently she used to be a fan” Hyunjin chuckles awkwardly. The atmosphere in the room becomes a shade dimmer.
“Can we ask what your name is?” Seungmin tries to divert the tension.
You shake your head. “You guys should go now. You have filming to do right?”
They all stare at you, something hanging in the air that they can tell something isn’t quite right.
The silence is broken by Changbins cough, “She’s right, we need to head back.” He nudges the others to remove their cemented feet. All giving you a quick goodbye before leaving the room, all but Hyunjin.
“Will you be alright?”
“I’m fine.” You give him a faint smile before he’s nodding and heading out the door. You wait until you’re sure you can no longer hear their footsteps, before completely freaking out.
“HOLY SHIT!” You yell as you run around the tables. “How did they see me? How can they hear me?! HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND THEM?”
You collapse onto the dirty laminate floor. You close your eyes, now letting the black unknown take you. You called it napping, really you weren’t sure what it was.
“What the hell is going on?”
No one answers you, no one ever answers you. No one knows you’re here. It’s been over a year since the incident and you woke up in this building. Well this room to be exact, you’ve never been able to leave and lord knows you’ve tried. Eventually you gave up and accepted your confines as home, you don’t know how you ended up here. The markings on the walls indicated Korean, that much you could tell based on all the k-dramas you used to watch, but you had never been to Korea, so how did you end up in another country?
Too many questions, all of which you’d had given up finding answers to. But now meeting these 4 members, a whole new wave of questions came flooding in.
And once again you were left alone. With no answers.
~
You take your time opening your eyes, unsure of how much time you had been ‘napping’ but you let yourself regain at its own pace. Eventually your eyes begin to open, ready for the grimy ceiling tiles and rusty, broken looking light fixture. However, you are jolted awake when you realize that’s not the ceiling above you. This ceiling for 1 is clean, 2 white and 3 all the bulbs are working. You jolt yourself up right, hastily looking around the room. There’s no way you could be anywhere but that old room, so how are you seeing someone’s living room, you must be imagining it.
You hear shoes scuffling towards a hallway to what looks to be a front door you shoot to your feet, backing up to the opposite end of the room. There’s no way anyone could see you, but these turn of events were enough to put you on edge.
Your thoughts ricoshay around you, deafening you to the figures entering through the door. One of them stops mid sentence as he comes face to face with you as he enters the living room.
“Who are you?” Chan barks.
Can he see you too? You struggle to answer. Confusion evident on your face.
“How did you get in here?” He stands his ground, his voice rising in what would be a dominant, intimidating way, but you’re too concerned that once again you have been seen to feel threatened.
The other 3 figures rush in behind him, upon noticing you their expressions change from fear to worry.
“You’re the girl from the mv shoot we met.” Jisung voices out.
“This-” You point around the room. “Is your dorm?”
“I’ll ask again. How did you get in here?” Chan asks again. Voice less threatening.
You take a step back, going over everything that happened that day to now. This can’t be real. Scanning each member quickly, you notice something. You point at Changbins now blonde hair and Hyunjins now dark hair.
“How long ago was that? The video shoot?” Your voice comes out shaky, you’re trying to swallow back the rising emotions bubbling in you.
“A couple weeks ago?” Changbin offers.
That’s it, a couple weeks? How have you been out that long? I mean it’s not like you could tell time with a broken clock, but weeks. You start pacing back and forth muttering to yourself. “How is this happening? This can’t happen. It’s impossible- but then again, I thought I was impossible. So maybe not impossible? But that doesn’t make any sense.”
You don’t hear the front door opening and the other four members enter until you hear Seungmin exclaim.
“Hey, why is the shoot girl here?”
You halt in your steps, turning to them.
“Shoot girl?” Felix asks.
“The girl we said we ran into at the mv shooting.” Seungmin shrugs.
“OK, so you guys felt the need to invite her over?” Minho huffs next to him.
“No offense, but that doesn’t sound like the smartest thing to do Hyungs” I.N. gestures behind them.
“We didn’t invite her, she was here when we came in.“ Hyunjin defends dramatically.
You can feel your voice clawing it’s way out, but before you can think the panic has taken over.
“Hold on. WAIT. You can see me?”
“Is that a joke?” Chan asks. Your cold hands rub against the skin on your face. This is really a nightmare.
“You can all see me. You can all hear me. You can all understand me.” You state, the shock finally breaking your blank shell. You see them all nod, distrusting eyes watch you as your feet restart their pacing.
“This can’t be happening.” This time you’re not mumbling. “ I can’t be here. How is this happening? Oh god- I need to get back to my room.”
“You mean that old classroom? That’s your room?” Jisung can’t help but ask, but he’s stopped short of completely asking you things when Minho nudges him in the ribs with his elbow.
The pacing stops as you stare at them. “You don’t understand. I haven’t been able to leave that room in over a year.”
“What? Has someone been keeping you there?” Jisungs exclaims, followed by another nudge to his ribs.
You can’t help but laugh dryly, if only it was that easy. “I stopped asking those questions a long time ago. Seriously though, none of you should be able to see me.”
“Why because you have your invisibility cloak on?” Minho sneers at you.
You stare blankly at him. Walk over to the table, pulling your hand back you aim to push all the items off the table. Your hand collides with nothing, phasing through the objects. You smirk at his shocked face, arms crossing over your chest in triumph.
“No, because I’m a ghost.” Now the feelings of being annoyed started to build. “And like I said, I’ve been stuck in that room for a very long time with no idea how to leave. And no one has been able to see me until you showed up. And then I wake up here, in your space weeks later. AND to top it all off, I don’t speak Korean so how the hell are we having this conversation?”
~
“So you’re dead?”
“If he asks me that one more time I’m going poltergeist on this place” You threaten, turning to the eldest two.
“What happened to you?” IN calls your attention. The room becomes dead still. The continuous shuffling and side comments coming to an abrupt stop. Unclear certainty fields the room, from them upon realizing they may have crossed a line in their maknae asking so bluntly. And from you… well for very different reasons.
“Wrong place, wrong time?” You will your voice to come out steady and nonchalantly. However, your body betrays you. Leg bouncing in your seat on the couch, hands showing a slow tremor. “Look, I’m not really sure. I can’t remember. All I know is one minute I was walking along this backroad to my place from being with friends. I had my headphones in, I was listening to a random playlist when………..-wait-”
A subtle drifting melody passes by your ears. Like it was traveling on a motionless breeze. The sound ebbing in and out of your being.
“I think one of your songs was playing” Wide eyes jump to each member as the beat lingers. “and then I woke up in that room. That’s it. Nothing in between”
“Maybe someone was meant to find you in that room? Like we were? It’s easy enough to come and go in that building.” Hyunjin hums, trying to put the broken pieces of a puzzle together.
“That’s the weird thing, others have filmed there before and no ones ever seen me.” You shake your head at him. “Actually no ones ever been able to come into the room before. I can see the reflection through the hallway windows, there’s always been a padlock and chain on it. How did you get in?”
“There wasn’t anything like that, the door was partially open when I Found it.”
Too many coincidences… that’s what this is….if you could feel your skin, you’d say it was beginning to itch.
“Strange. Why did you go in that room? Were you randomly searching all the rooms?” Minho’s careful eyes watch the younger one carefully.
Hyunjin shakes his head. “No, that was the only room I went into. I just felt like there was something… that I had to see…”
“Wait. So the last thing you heard was one of our songs before nothing and you just happened upon a room that was mysteriously calling you?” Jisung questions wide-eyed. His large eyes bore into you.
“That sounds like we were meant to find you, somehow this was meant to be.” Chan nods to himself. His voice is warm and soothing, but there’s something chilled about his sentence.
Your vision ripples momentarily, whatever else they were saying you could no longer hear. Only a deep raspy faltering voice.
‘It was love at first sight. We are meant to be.’
And then they were back. All 8 pairs of eyes staring at you, clearly someone had asked you a question.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“Are you ok?” Chan’s thoughtful gaze makes you feel slightly uncomfortable.
“Uh yea yea fine. Everything is just a lot.” You try to give them a reassuring smile. They must have seen the look of loss in your eyes, hoping to move on from the subject.
“I know y/n, but we promise we’ll figure it out together.” Followed by several agreeances, and encouraging smiles.
~
“I already regret agreeing to help you.” Seungmin’s voice mumbles tiredly from the couch.
You can’t stop the evil giggle from bubbling out of your mouth. Your day spent getting used to your new surroundings, figuring out which door went where, whose room was who’s, who was the easiest to poke fun at when you were bored.
“You? At least you can leave to your own dorm rooms. She’s here all the time.” Changbin huffs coming out of his room.
“Guys be nice to noona! You’re acting like she’s a disobedient pet or something.” Jisung scolds from the dining table.
“She’s like an angry chihuahua that pees on everything just because she knows it’ll annoy us.” Seungmin retorts annoyedly, eyes still fixed on the tv.
“Exactly!” Changbin agrees a little too enthusiastically for your liking. Plopping down next to Seungmin.
“Did you just call me a chihuahua?” You shoot them a look of disgust. “Ew.”
“If you stopped acting like one we’d stop calling you one behind your back.” Minho eventually joins the conversation from the other end of the dining table to Jisung. His face was blank as always.
“Linoring, not you too!” Jisung whines dramatically, falling back in his chair, face stricken with dismay and disappointment to the dancer.
“Sorry jagi” Minho mumbles looking away from the huffy chipmunk, slight pink dusting his cheeks as he accidentally makes eye contact with you. Purposefully, at least on your end, catching the smirk on your face as you wiggle your eyebrows at him knowingly.
“Thank you sungie! Besides, It’s not my fault you guys are boring.” You groan in frustration. “When did Lixie and Innie say they would be over?”
“IN said he was finishing his game while waiting for lix to finish his baking and then they’d be over.” Seungmin’s voice makes you feel even more disheartened.
“If I could die again it’d be from boredom. I want Lixie.” You cry out.
You hear Changbin mumble something under his breath about you being dramatic, in retaliation you whip around to give him another dramatic show, but are hit with the room beginning to spin. As if the world is tilted on its axis you stumble slightly, eyes flying shut and a ringing in your eyes. Regaining your balance a pained groan escapes you.
—-
“Noona? Noona!” Felix’s deep voice bounces in your still pounding mind.
“Lixie?” Your staggering mind manages.
“How did you get here?” You hear I.N’s surprise. Begrudgingly you pry your eyes open, blinking the world back to alignment.
“I dunno.. I was complaining about seeing you guys and then I felt like I was hit with mega vertigo and… here I am.”
And here you were. Standing in an almost identical dorm room kitchen to the first one, individuals items being the only difference you can see.
“Are you ok?”
“That’s so cool!”
Both chime at once. You can’t help but laugh at them.
“Yes I’m ok, it was just really abrupt. I was not ready for it.” You smile softly at Lix, before turning to give I.N a mischievous smirk. “…do you think I’d be able to do it again?”
“Please tell me you’re going to try it right now.” I.N comes over to you excitedly, his game completely forgotten. “Wait! I have an idea!”
You watch as he races back to the computer to grab his phone. You and Felix share a confused look.
“I’ll text everyone in the group to see if they’re all decent. I won’t say why and then you pick a member and try to poof to them.” He begins typing away on his phone.
“Oh this I’m ready for. And don’t say poof. It’s weird.” The mischievous look on the maknaes face only amps up your own. The youngest was always ready to cause a ruckus with you.
He rolls his eyes at you, but doesnt respond.
“Ok everyones good. Chans in his studio, the others are either in the other dorm, the gym or wandering around the city.” IN eagerly informs you both.
“Did you at least give them a warning? If this does work?” Felix, trying as always to be the voice of reason for you two. Always worrying about what you two would end up doing to the others. Felix and his soft heart.
“Yeah’” IN waves off. “Give it a try y/n”
Focusing on one member you begin to try to will yourself to him. Your eyes close, the world tilts and the ringing hits.
“See you later!” You chime, an evil smile plastered on your face, and then poof.
—-
“Do you think it worked?” Felix paces back and forth in worry. They hadn’t heard anything from anyone for over 5 minutes, he was beginning to worry you got lost somewhere.
“Well she’s not here anymore, so I’d assume so.” IN comments, composure set in his shoulders as he watches the older continue in his steps.
The group from your previous location burst into the dorm. Eyes wild, almost panic stricken.
“Have you guys seen y/n? She was in the dorm and then she just vanished! We can’t find her.” Jisung wails, coming in first. Clearly the most concerned out of the group.
“Yea, she was here just here.” Felix remarks, finally his feet coming to a rest.
“Was?”
“We’re waiting for touchdown.” IN shrugs, now scrolling through his phone absentmindedly.
“What?”
The maknaes phone notification appears on his screen and the ringtone he set goes off. A bright smile erupts on his face as he answers it, placing it down on the table as he hits speakerphone for everyone to hear.
“You couldn’t have given a better warning?!” Chan’s exasperated voice comes through the line.
“I said heads up.” IN chuckles.
“Heads up was not enough to have my heart leap out of my body. She appeared out of nowhere. How was I supposed to be ready for that?!” Chan howls. IN can’t contain his laughter at his leader’s cries.
“It worked?!” Felix beamed, eyes now sparkling with joy at you not being sent to god know where.
“Yes Lix it worked.” You sang from Chan’s end of the phone.
“Greeeeaaaaat.” Less than excited groans break out mixed with genuine cheers.
~
“Um y/n, did you visit me at some point today?” There’s a slight tremble to IN’s voice as he returns to the dorms, not even taking his shoes off to come find you in the kitchen.
“No? I was with Changbin all day.” You chime brightly from your perch on the counter, legs swinging back and forth as you watch Changbin struggling to make a meal.
“As annoying as it was, yeah she was with me the whole time. Why innie?” Changbin turns to the younger, concern written all over his face. You were still learning about the kids, how each one’s reactions played a part in their personalities. But they knew each other better than themselves.
“I swear it felt like something was there today.. I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things” IN huffs, shoulders slumping and head cast down. You catch his demeanor shift this time. Hopping off the counter you walk over to him, angling to catch his eyes now trained to the floor.
“Can you show me where?” You smile at him sweetly. “I’ll take a look for you.”
He doesn’t say anything, only giving you a small nod, finally making eye contact again.
You and Changbin trapse after IN through the company hallways, he had been silent the whole trip there. Something had seriously left the maknae shaken, something you were determined to get to the bottom of. Only you are allowed to scare these boys now.
Changbin steps to walk alongside IN now, draping an arm over his shoulders. You are left a few steps behind. As they take a turn down the last hallway, you can feel it.
You don’t have a body anymore, you know that logically, but somehow there’s a heaviness to your steps that leave you stunned silent. If you had to breathe the air would appear thick, sinking to the bottom of your lungs. But you don’t and you almost have to convince yourself of that fact.
The boys step into the open doorway vanishing into the room. You feel as though there’s a tickle on the back of your neck. The only thing you can think of that it reminds you of is the breath of someone standing too close behind you.
You swear you can hear a whisper of a voice behind you. Instinct tells you to look behind you, but you don’t. The hallway is empty, your voice in your head tells you, you don’t have to worry anymore.
Wait. Why did you have to worry?
You blink several times, pushing away your confusion. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on yourself. You step into the room to see the two of them standing in the center of a vocal room, eyes darting around as IN’s voice finally speaks up.
“It was in here.” He gestures to the room. “I was sitting at the piano, facing away from the door and I felt like something came in. But I had the door locked. When I turned around I was just expecting to see you, but there was nothing.”
You walk over to where the keyboard is positioned, glancing over at the door you all had just come through. And just like that your breath would have hitched if you had one.
“What is it y/n?” Changbin asks from behind you.
“I think we should head back.” Your eyes follow something in the room, moving up to the ceiling. “We can all talk about it together.”
“Sure?” The suspicion in Changbins voice does not go unmissed by you.
“You guys go first, I’ll meet you there.”
You can’t see the shared look of distress passed between the two as you hear them leave, mumbling something as they go. You always fazed home first, too impatient to wait for them and wanting to annoy the next person as soon as possible. So you deciding to stay behind was something that stirred anxiety into them.
You want to reassure them, but you can’t. You can’t look away from what you’re seeing. You can feel them getting farther away from you, a forced faze back to the dorms.
You hated accidentally falling out of their proximity, some force slapping you to their side. Always leaving you extremely disorientated. So you avoided it at all costs. But no this time, you feel the pull but you fight against it as you swear you can almost make out what you’re seeing. It’s on the tip of your tongue and that’s where it dies as you hear the same chilling voice rasp to you as before.
“Don’t worry, once you let go of everything else we can finally be together.”
And then you’re wrenched back to the dorms.
Stumbling to the floor you are met with 6 sets of eyes. The group chat had been notified as soon as the two left you behind. They were all waiting for you to return. Shortly after IN and Changbin returned, IN explaining what happened with him.
Then it was your turn. But somehow you couldn’t remember what you thought you might have seen, the emotions you felt now fuzzy and muddy in your head.
“I’m not sure what it was, but it left a heavy residue. Like I could see where it had been on the walls and floor. I think it would be safe if you all traveled in pairs when you’re outside the apartments. Something just doesn’t feel right about it.” You think out loud. “Just being cautious until we can figure this out, I mean.”
“Yea, I think that’s a good idea.” Chan agrees after replaying your words. “I’ll call and get our schedules moved around so no ones alone.”
~
As the weeks progressed, the boys were becoming more unsettled. Even in pairs they claimed to feel like they were being watched or followed. Any and everywhere outside the dorm building, mostly at work and then a trickling of outside.
All the while you couldn’t shake forgetting something. There was something important you needed to remember. But everytime drawing a complete blank as to what it actually was.
Your napping was also impossible now. Once being able to drift into nothing, is now replaced with the cold chill of hands on your skin, dark murmurs against your ears and the overwhelming feeling of grief. As scared as you were when you came back to the world, you couldn’t remember exactly what had happened. Couldn’t place the familiarity of the hands, the voice and the words.
You remained upfront with the members, explaining to Chan the ominous dissociative states you found yourself in. And how sometimes it wasn’t you that did it. One moment you could be with them and then the next gone. However, you would put everything you had into fighting it off, it had become frequent for almost a week, before you started to reel it in. it had been days since the last time, finally feeling like you had some control…
Until it hit you again.
The boys were either napping in their dorms or watching tv or eating, some even opting to go to the company for some extra practice. It was an off day for them, all free to roam about as they pleased. You had walked into the living room of the Lee’s dorm when you are halted by a sudden wave of forgetfulness.
“Are you ok, y/n?” You can hear Felix’s voice swim into your fog.
“Yea, I just uh…forgot why I came in here..” You give your head a little shake trying to wave off the clouding fog that was slowly becoming thicker as the seconds ticked by.
You could see through the glaze of your vision, like you were looking through a window of ice, three figures coming closer. You hear their muffled voices as you stumble slightly.
“I’m fine-” You slur out. Unknowing what they were actually saying to you. “I-”
“I know why you’re fighting me so hard. You want me to prove my love for you, don’t you worry I’m not going anywhere.”
The voice envelopes you like a cement blanket, your vision darkening….
“Y/N!”
You immediately snap out of it, standing straight, eyes now clear. “Hyunjin!”
And you phase out.
~
Staggering a couple of steps, you attempt to catch yourself but fail. You plummet forwards to the floor, hands coming out to catch yourself. The ringing is excruciatingly loud now, lights in the room blindingly bright.
Where are you? Someone screamed your name, who was it…? You knew who it was.
Painfully slow you wince as you lift your head to look around the room. Light reflections from the far end. Mirrors, those must be mirrors…dance studio. Your vision is still swimming, unable to focus, if you weren’t already certain you’d think you were underwater with how submerged you feel.
Peering over to the side, shifting your head as little as possible. Gut twisting nausea hits you as you vaguely make out a figure lying on the floor. Fighting through the unseen force dragging your body down, one limb at a time you begin to crawl over.
Your voice coming out in a weak attempt, “Hyunjin”.
A feeble moan comes from the blurry figure, still unmoving.
Hand moving forward to continue moving, don’t stop moving.
‘I-’
“Hyunjin!” Ignoring the voice banging itself against your skull you have to get to him.
‘You-’
“Hyunjin!” Finally movement from the figure. Only a few more shuffles and you’ll be able to reach him.
‘Me-’
Finally leaning over the figure you can now see some of him. Your mind is stuck in a fishbowl view. He’s lying on his back, chest rising and falling in deep rhythmic breathing. He didn’t seem like he was in pain. You want to touch him, make sure he’s ok, somehow wake him up. Go for help. What you wouldn’t give to be able to go get help right now. Who did Hyunjin say he was coming here with? Why can’t you remember anything?
Who was at the dorm? Felix, Minho and IN. Who did he leave with?
‘-estiny’
‘SHUT UP!’ You scream back in your mind. You needed to think, but you couldn’t even hear yourself try.
‘-ove’
You grapple with your mind to think clearly, you just had to make your body work too. “SEUNGMIN!”
As his name leaves you the practice room door swings open. Faces you couldn’t recognize and eyes that couldn’t see you crowd around Hyunjin. Seungmin’s face comes into focus, as the chaos carries the unconscious dancer out.
“Y/N, what happened?” He finally asks when everyone else left the room, crouching down to you.
“I don’t know, he… I heard him yell my name from the dorm and I ended up here.”
“Everyone heard him yell. That’s why we all came running. Did anything else happen? I’m going to go find out if he’s ok, but is there anything I need to know? Are you ok?” As he spoke, the water from the room began to drain. Your eyes focusing once again on your surroundings, the ringing dying out.
“No, just go with him, I’m fine.” You wave him away, he only hesitates for a moment before leaving you alone in the room 2 unopened, iced water bottles lay in his place. He must have gone to get them water.
Pushing from your hands, you fumble to sit.
“What do you want?” A broken whisper comes out of you, voice almost sounding not like your own. Eyes trained to the ceiling.
This time the fade out is slow, like you can feel it fluttering down on you like a fresh sheet.
The same infuriating voice sounds as you slip away.
‘I love you and you love me. We’re destiny.’
~
Movie night was demanded of all of you when you finally returned from your ‘nap’. Hyunjin was not able to remember what happened, but he did remember calling your name. But he said it felt more like a warning call than him wanting you to come help him. You were all unnerved by this, but upon long late night discussions you all agreed to let it rest for now. They had a hectic schedule coming up after the next few days of being off.
They were scheduled to go overseas for some promotional work, you were excited about traveling when they first told you. But as time ticked on and you let your mind wander you became increasingly uncomfortable with it. Maybe you could stay behind in the dorms? You could wait for them to get back.
The credits begin to roll over the screen breaking all of you out of your 20 minute silence. The plot twist actually surprises you all near the end, leaving you quietly focused.
“Reincarnation would be pretty cool.” Jisung’s eyes wide in disbelief, finally someone speaking.
“You know what would be even better?” Felix wiggled his eyebrows at his birthday twin, only to have him shake his head in response. “If we all got to do the next life together!”
“Yes!” Jisung cheered, hands thrown in the air in excitement. Snacks completely forgotten in bowls on the table and floor.
“It does make sense. None of us could manage alone anymore, at least I wouldn’t be able to.” Chan laughs at the dramatic younger ones, as they both throw themselves into their leader’s lap. Fits of giggles erupting.
“You really want us to all do this again?” Minho complains, the thought already exhausting him.
“Of course!” Felix continues to giggle as Chan gives him a hug, Changbin tickling him on his other side.
“You don’t want to?” Jisung already pushed away from the fight to turn his large puppy eyes to Minho. Pout forming on his lips, forcing Minho to look away abruptly. The question caught the other members’ attention.
“It’s not that…” Each member staring at him patiently waiting for his answer. He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Alright, the next life we do together.”
“Promise?” Felix turns on his puppy eyes, following Jisung’s lead.
“Promise.” The others all say in unison.
You snicker to yourself, perched behind them all clustered on the couch, how were they so adorable to each other but also extremely annoying?
Clearly your noises didn’t go unnoticed.
“Y/n, do not even think you can go to the next life without us. ALL of us” Hyunjin glares at you.
“What am I supposed to do? Wait for you?” You feign irritation. Next life huh?
“Yes!! There is no way in hell you are being reincarnated without us, we can finally annoy you then, instead of you just annoying us. And we’ve all just promised to have the next life together, so you’re stuck with us.” Changbin demands, the tone in his voice pushing through the idea that this was final.
“Too bad. You don’t have a choice now.” Minho smirks at you, causing you to mimik him from before, eyes rolling in mock disgust.
The next life with these weirdos? You guess that’s something you could do. Maybe this is what having a home could feel like… being not alone and being wanted made you feel something again. Something you hadn’t felt for a long time, something you had almost forgotten.
Trying to hide a smile you turn away from them, “Whatever.” is all you can manage.
Two more days of having them all to yourself then it’s back to business. Discomfort settles in you again, yea maybe you’ll stay home. You’ve gotten pretty good at poltegiesting the tv on and netflix, slowly being able to move things slightly, playing around with equipment they brought into the dorms. Hey, maybe they can leave you some stuff to attempt to interact with.
You’d be ok here alone. Something in you was saying you should stay back. This time you’d listen to your gut feeling.
~
“Where exactly are we going?” You whine from behind the group. They all had insisted you went out tonight, something to do with having fun to distract from all the creepiness that now was a part of their daily lives. And also their impending work trip.
“We told you it’s a surprise.” Minho huffs annoyingly at you.
“And I told you I don’t like surprises.” You grumble, continuing to wander down a gravel path through a large park. The evening had darkened the sky, however along the path they had taken it was illuminated with string lights. The trees break up ahead and you can see even more lights. You squint trying to get a better idea of what the heck this was.
“No way-” Your mouth hangs open.
A pop-up carnival, adorned with beautiful lights, multiple rides, little shops, tents and so many more options. The night air is buzzing as you look at the others who are waiting for you.
“Surprise!” Hyungjin beams.
“Time to have fun.” Felix chirps before gesturing forward, and that was all the invitation you needed to enjoy yourself tonight.
—-
After a few hours and your second round of the carnival, each member is stuffing their faces with some form of snack. You notice a smaller trailer just out of the main circle trail.
‘Tarot reading/Fortune reading/Psychic medium’
Your pace slows as you feel a slight pull towards it.
“Oooo a psychic!” Jisung shouts excitedly from beside you, making you jump a little. “Should we check it out?”
“Aren’t they all just scammers?” Seungmin deadpanes towards the marked trailer.
“We have the perfect thing to test them out.” Minho counters. “If they pick up on y/n then they are real, if not they are fake”
You nod to the group. That does make complete sense.
“I’m in.” You smile before skipping your way over the boys following close behind, the Medium didn’t have a line or anything so it seemed like this would be a quick visit. If anything you could knock some things off their wall if they got things wrong. It’d be fun regardless.
Upon entering you instantly notice a thick foreboding smog that clung to the air. Something in the back of your mind is telling you to leave, barely one foot inside the trailer. The members crowd in around you giving you a chance to take in the small space. A burgundy wall of curtains behind a small counter with a korean sign you couldn’t read.
The members had been helping you learn to read Korean but some things and words were harder than others.
The walls of the trailer you could see had trinkets and lace draping meticulously and delicately placed with symbols you had never seen before. However, each symbol makes you feel a certain way…You couldn’t describe it but it was as if you glanced a little too long you’d either feel nauseous, giddy or incredibly nervous. Unable to focus on one thing, your mind hyper tracked every thing in the tiny room.
Everything except the curtain opening slightly.
A young couple arm in arm walked out merrily, smiling at nothing but each other. Clearly given some form of good knews, fake or not. You watched them walk out before turning back to the group.
“Next please~” A tender voice sang out from behind the curtain. Still shifted to the side, the members share a look before walking through, you only hesitate for a moment, the panic of wanting to run weighing down on you. Pushing past it you follow them into the other portion of the trailer.
Entering the room the thick feeling no longer clings to you. It’s like it was trapped in another space. The room coloured in deep tapestries, symbols, mirrors and prints along the walls. A bookshelf full of old looking books, crystals splayed around them. Crystals hang from the ceiling in bottles and in cages, along with plants around the whole of the room. You almost feel comfortable here, that is until a voice brings you out of your wonder.
“Normally I’d request all excess energies to remain outside, however I do not believe I have to this time.” The female voice sings. “You’ve brought someone with you.”
She’s hidden by the members all crowding around her table, it’s not until they all take their seats that you finally get a look at her. The years have aged her….not well to put it nicely. Her body frail, hands shake slightly as she covers her mouth to stifle a laugh.
Changbin looks over at you, giving you a ‘what the hell is this?’ kind of look. All the others were stunned, staring wide eyed at her instant recognition of you.
You shoot him a confused annoyed look, huffing at him to pay attention. In response he rolls his eyes and looks back to her.
“A young girl, your age I feel.” This time not hiding her laugh. “She’s a spunky one I take it?”
“Spunky is an understatement.” Minho mumbles under his breath.
If looks could kill, he would be dead with the glare you’re giving him, you stick your tongue out at them.
“I will give you my quick introduction, and what I normally do for people. However, I will be doing something a little different today.” She begins. “My name is Sengul. I offer Tarot card readings, communications with deceased loved ones or palm readings. But today let us discuss the young lady that has joined you today.”
You eye her carefully, clearly she wasn’t someone to be taken lightly. No one knew about you other than the 8 members, so she shouldn’t have been able to know you were there.
“Can you see her?” Jisungs voice squeaks out, shifting closer to Minho. MInho’s hand coming over to rest on the youngers tapping knee.
“No, but I can feel her.” The medium smiles at the nervous rapper. “She has a very strong presence. An aura if you will, a projection of emotions. And I take it upon your response to my words you all know of her?”
“Yes we do. We can see and hear her clearly.” Chan states confidently, you can tell by his tone he’s thinking over his words carefully.
“I see, and she has been here for quite some time?”
Eight heads nod simultaneously.
“And the other….presence?” Her voice drops.
“You can feel that one too?” Shock encapsules Felix’ normally tender voice.
“Both very different, both just as strong I fear.” Sengul murmurs to herself, thinking out loud.
“Should we be worried?” Chan’s face morphs into a deadpan, quiet demands.
“All I feel from the young lady is pure… love.” Panicking you train your eyes to the floor. You weren’t good at talking about your feelings. It was easier to hide behind shrewd comments, bitter banter and condescending tones. And now she was laying it all out for them, all your feelings for them. “The need to protect is strong. Also the need to not be alone, not for the fear of being alone but of loving too strong. Wanting to be with the people you so deeply care about continuously. Doing everything you can to procure someone’s happiness. There’s a sense of ‘if you are happy then I am too’. Not done for selfish reasons but out of love for them.”
If you can’t see them then they can’t see you right? You wished the ground would actually swallow you whole right now, you didn’t want to have to talk about this later, knowing the boys would pester you about this when you got out of here.
But she doesn’t stop. “A soul who chooses comfort and trust in the living can open up their doorway to be seen and heard like she has with you. But this takes complete trust in the individual, for a whole group to be given that is truly a gift in itself. Even if the soul itself is not aware of it, sometimes that’s where fate plays a part.”
“That would make sense as to why I saw her the first time.” Hyunjin’s voice comes out soothing, but you’re too afraid to look up. Why did you have to be visible? “You mentioned the other?”
Thank god, please move on.
At first she only hums at his question, standing slightly to the side behind the members you look up at her. Fear of your feelings being known, now forgotten.
“I will be honest with you. I don’t believe this one to be like her. A putrid smell invaded my senses under her arua. It lingers on you the way soot would, gathering thicker and thicker on you each time. Draining you, like leech upon flesh. It is dark, something I myself am uncomfortable dealing with.” Her strong eyes trying to reach each member, the sincerity in her voice, the worry.
“Human..?” An unfinished question.
“It was once.”
“How can a human soul be something like this?” Minho’s hand tightens on Jisungs knee, who in return clasps his hand over his Hyungs, trying to now calm the rage set in the dancer’s jaw.
“Sometimes, if a soul is truly corrupt in life it can form itself into something inhumanly evil. The reincarnation process is impossible. It can only cling to this world until it achieves what it wants.” Sengul looks apologetically at Minho.
“Achieving what?”
“Whatever it was after in the living. Once it has it, it will bleed it until the soul is lost into nothing. It will no longer exist. These fractured souls are everywhere, I’m surprised you’ve been able to feel one.” Sengul explains cautiously, hands trembling on the table.
“Maybe it’s because we’ve been around y/n for so long, we can pick up on some now?”
“Perhaps” Medium hums, her sad eyes betraying her. There’s more she isn’t saying. “Perhaps you’ve just come into contact with it through somewhere you’ve been.”
‘Somewhere you’ve been’ echos in your head… ‘somewhere they’ve been…’
As the boys listen on, something draws you to the side of the trailer. An ornate gold framed oval mirror hangs among the vines and crystals on her wall. You don’t make a step closer, only turning enough to look at it. Stupefied in place, your eyes wide as the voices around you drown out. For the first time in years you make eye contact with yourself in the glass. Noticing a pair of steady eyes watching you through the glass, your body trembles as you let yours drift to them.
The reflection of the Medium is staring at you, your chest rising and falling as if you’re struggling to control your breath. She gives you a soft, sad smile, her eyes beaming with so much…was this sympathy… or was it pity?
You break away to check on the others. Could they see what you were seeing?
The Medium and the members are still carrying on their conversation, unaware of what was happening to you. Clearly this was just for you. You quickly look back, making sure you hadn’t imagined it. Once again eyes finding the Mediums reflection still looking at you. So heartbroken.
As if slowly guided forward you began to step towards the mirror. The closer you get the more drawn you are to her. She stands from her stool, matching her steps to yours. With each step you feel an electric vibration through your body. Your hand reaches out to feel the glass in front of you, her doing the same. It almost feels as though you are making contact with someone, there’s now despair engraved into the lines of her face.
Her lips don’t move when you hear her voice, “I am so sorry my child.”
Before you can ask her, her reflection fades away in a static like motion, morphing into a tall dark figure behind you. You can’t see any facial features, you don’t know what this is.
Something feels incredibly off, looking back at yourself you see a single tear escape down your cheek. The figure’s hand reaches up behind you, fingers wrapping around your neck. Another tear breaks free when your eyes inevitably close, memories flood your mind. The dam finally broken, a dam you wish you could rebuild. But it’s too late.
You remember.
“Nonononono, you can’t leave me. I’ll follow you, I’ll find you my precious. We’ll be together always”
~
You kept yourself relatively calm, at least on the outside. The days, hours, minutes even leading up to the boys traveling to Japan, were some of the most emotionally draining for you.
Watching them each pack a bag made you feel like they were the ones leaving you behind. Ultimately you knew that wasn’t true, they’d never leave you behind.
But still you smiled and waved as they left acting like you didn’t know what was coming next. Alone you wandered through the dorms, memories flashing in a vivid 4k movie you had saved.
Late nights talking with Minho about his hidden, not so hidden feelings for his soulmate. Leading to late nights talking to Jisung about the same thing. You give them what advice you could but ultimately leave the ball in their court if they were to bring it up with the other. Which to your joy they did.
Hours watching and rewatching Hyunjin dance over and over again, upon his request. Noting changes, weak steps, things he couldn’t see himself. Then you try to erase the doubts he had for himself in his abilities to master his own choreo. Him unloading his worries on you, for you to help amend.
Following Felix to his voice lessons, only for him to be overcome with nervousness at you listening. Unsure of how to use his beautifully comforting instrument. You encourage him to try more, different styles, different techniques and decide how he wants it to sound. Not how anyone told him he had to sound, believe in what he was singing for, himself.
No longer sitting idly as you all watched Chan overwork and overthink himself. His unableness to see his own worth in the eyes of others. You had gotten so worked up over him self-deprecating that you had snapped. Throwing every piece of importance that his existence brings to so many people, unrelenting confident laced compliments, until he broke down crying.
Bothering Changbin on his solo trips to the gym on days he felt weak. Too many worries about his members and his music filling his mind, making it hard for him to see his strength as a person. He stayed longer at the gym those days, trying to convince himself of his solidity. On these days you felt an even greater urge to voice and compliment him on his reps and stamina. It might have seemed like you were only feeding into this idea of muscularity, but he knew, he always knew why you were really there. And he always just laughed and said you were annoying, but he never asked you to leave him. And so you’d stay until the end.
Days observing the youngest members of the group. Each day growing more and more into bright men. Considerate, emotionally intelligent humans, finding themselves in a world of harsh criticisms and cruel expectations. But still, watching them thrive in the safety of the home they all created with each other was something beautiful in itself. The fearlessness of Seungmin and IN was something that people should be jealous of.
How can a world shrouded with darkness still hold so much light?
Each room now contains countless memories and moments you’ve locked away in your heart. Ones you will hold onto until the last moment, taking them with you. Not remembering your life wasn’t painful neither was remembering what happened at the end of it. What was truly the most excruciating was now saying good-bye to a home you remember, one you didn’t want to leave.
Making your way through the archives of memories you sit down at the dining table. Recording equipment, ipads and other electronics placed especially for you to kill time until they returned. Eyes glazing over, chest heavy, lingerings of a broken promise hanging in the air.
Exerting every ounce of strength left in you, you reach out to one of the machines.
A deafening click fills the room as the recording unit turns on.
~
Voice recording:
‘Hey guys! Yea it’s me, y/n. Bet you didn’t know I could do this huh? Honestly I’ve been practicing trying to use this recording thingy myself for a while, and let me tell you it wasn’t easy *laughs nervously*
I uh just wanted to say thank you, ya know for letting me hang around you guys. I can’t tell you how bored I’ve been and this has been the single most exciting moments in my undead life. So yea, thank you for that.
But um…. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to say all this to your faces before leaving, so I guess I’m taking the coward’s way out. Leaving this for you to find after I’m gone.
It doesn’t look like I’ll be waiting on the other side for you guys. I know I promised we’d all start the next life together, but uh…. I don’t… I won’t be having a next go at this. I guess this was meant to be my only life.
I realized what it was that was following you guys, and when I did I got all of my memories back from when I died. I won’t be getting into detail about that because… I don’t- I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want you guys to think about it. When I figured it out, I knew the only way it would stop coming after you was me.
…It only ever wanted me…
I know you’ll be upset and furious with me that I didn’t talk to you before deciding, but sometimes you have to make a hard decision for the good of the group right?.. and I uh… it wasn’t fair for me to let you guys deal with this when it’s my fault.
So I am sorry, but also not because I enjoyed annoyingly haunting you.
You’ll be getting on a plane to come back in a few days.
So I guess it’s time, if i don’t do it now I’ll chicken out. I have to go back to my room.. we’ll it’s not my room anymore.
*short pause*
I think that’s what scares me the most about this. Not the unexisting part, I mean, but having to go back to my old safe room. That isn’t so safe anymore, not with it being in there.
This, with you, was what being safe felt like. Even if it only lasted for a moment.
A part of me really hopes that when I walk through those doors you’ll forget all about me, so you won’t have to deal with it after I’m gone. I don’t want you to be sad, or feel guilty for my choice…. Do you think if I beg the universe hard enough it could happen? Here’s me hoping that maybe I’ll have more luck in death, than in life?
But it’s ok.
You will be ok.
I know these weren’t the answers we were hoping to find. These are just the answers we’ve been given.
I’d say see you later, like I always do but that feels like a lie now…
So I guess it’s Goodbye.
*long pause, sniffling can be heard over the recording*
everything felt like a fuzzy dream. the joking banters, the funny texts, the innocent teasing, the jokes thrown here and there, the gradual comfort they were building around each other, it was small but noticeable to her.
maybe she noticed the way she started relaxing around him because she spent so much time keeping her guard up that letting loose in so long felt almost easing, like a cold shower on a warm sunny day.
she was so lost in the way he messed around with her, that she forgot about the bigger, impending, truth that may lay behind his action. that or she simply didn’t know until someone opened her eyes for her.
since they met five months prior, they always had a cat and mouse kind of relationship, much like the one she had with everyone else in the friend group. she had always kept her guard up around people, new and old alike, always careful to not let them in too much, to not say too much about her life. the fear of not being able to trust anyone fully way too big. and after the only person she could ever trust wholly, broke up with her, that thought only reinforced itself. because she knew she would never be able to trust anyone as much as she trusted her last lover. so when they broke up a few months before she started being comfortable around minho, she decided she didn’t want to let anyone know. for she didn’t want anyone to think she was what people called “fresh on the market”.
she didn’t know when she started loosening up around him. maybe it started when after all the play fighting on the field, that one day they had a group picnic, she started her period right before they left for home and her cramps hit her. and as she tried helping everyone carry the remnants of what was left of their belongings, he had fallen in step with her and with already a bag in each hand he had softly taken the heavy water case from her hand muttering a “here, give it to me,” and she had protested that she could carry it only for him to scold her, “good for you, now give that here. you’re already in pain.”
or maybe it was when she went to that birthday party and he insisted her drink a few sips from his glass because, “i didn’t mix too much vodka, it’s almost all sprite,” he had muttered just so their friends would stop bothering her and she would be able to have fun.
or again, maybe it was when he invited her, felix and moonbin to his house for dinner with his mother. they had stayed at his place until almost 2am and they had fun writing funny things on the white board in his room and taking polaroids, and when the picture developed he had cackled loudly and, “i cannot believe this! your dress looks like we’re wearing matching pajamas,” he had pointed out.
or maybe it was when the same night he had jokingly given her a Yu Gi Oh card and told her to put it in her clear phone case, saying something about “the monster’s lips look like it’s blowing someone off, and you’re good at that, right?” and she had promptly thrown a few punches and kicks while he laughed loudly and taken her phone to put the card on top of her photocard, saying a “do not change it.”
or once more, maybe when he would promptly check every time they met after if she had changed the card and once he saw that she indeed did he would wrestle her to jokingly tell her he would throw away the photocard once he gets his hands on it.
and the fact he made her download a texting app when he deactivated on all social media because of his studies just to text non stop didn’t exactly help her.
or how when he asked advice on skincare, she had suggested about a cleanser she couldn’t find anywhere but was insanely good for her, he had come over the next day with the cleanser in hand. when she told him “ayy you got it!” thinking he had bought it on his way to her place, he had said, “that’s for you, i bought two.” and when she said he didn’t need to he said, “it’s okay, you said you couldn’t find it anywhere, so,” and he had shrugged his shoulders like nothing.
it was always the small things.
and maybe it was the day he was sharing with her and felix about his rocky again off again relationship that she thought that maybe she could tell him that she had broken up with her lover. and so she had signed subtly to felix if she should say something about her private life when they made a deal of all three saying something about their love life because minho didn’t want to be the only one to share stuff. but felix shook his head and trusting her childhood friend blindly she had said nothing.
nothing until a week after he texted her asking if she woke up early in the morning to talk to her long distance boyfriend, and she had thought she had avoided the question when she said something about her waking up late everyday. later, when she had told that to felix laughing, he had chuckled and told her, “don’t tell him, he’ll tell moonbin right away.”
moonbin. moonbin was the truth she had forgotten.
moonbin, a close friend, who happened to have a crush on her. her, when everyone knew she was taken. her, when all she wanted was to be friends with everyone. moonbin, who had just gone through a messy break up from a relationship he still wasn’t over, claimed he liked her.
and the day she found out she couldn’t lie and say she was surprised nor was that she thrilled. and moonbin’s every nice action made her feel like he did it because he had ulterior reasons and as much as felix told her he was just that nice to everyone, she didn’t like the unsettling feeling in her bones. because she didn’t want people spending money on her just to hold it over them. she hated the feeling of being indebted to people.
and somehow the fact that moonbin had told everyone around the friend circle about his crush on her didn’t sit well with her. she hated the feeling of everyone knowing what goes on behind all of his teasing and possibly teasing her about it or the nightmare that was shipping. she absolutely hated all that, finding the act of shipping and teasing to be childish. she liked her life to be private, her romantic life more than every other aspect, and sadly moonbin wasn’t like that.
and the other big thing was that she had no feelings for moonbin, and to a certain extent she didn’t have any feeling for minho either. the only thing she knew was that minho, unlike moonbin, made her feel like she could talk to him without fearing him discussing her problems with anyone else. or maybe she just didn’t know him that well, but she couldn’t deny the comforting feeling he carried around, like he would listen to anyone sharing their problems with him. which she knew she wasn’t the only one feeling that way.
and as she sat on the floor of her room that morning with felix, she felt her walls slowly going up again between her and minho. and her mind started getting clouded again by questions she didn’t, nor she would ever have answers to.
did he try to warm up to me to wingman moonbin? did he just want to find out about my relationship status to tell moonbin?
did he not want to be my friend just because, maybe, he liked my personality?
was this all it was about?
and the ever persistent reason why she never could open up to anyone came back. the constant feeling of not being worth of friends with came back. nobody would want to be friends without any other motive. and the thought brought back all the other bad feelings she had slowly learned to overcome slowly.
so she told herself that she needed to close off again. she needed to be like before. unknown, but someone that was important to keep around because she was childhood friends with felix.
so that day, when minho texted her, she didn’t reply as fast as she usually would, and she decided she wouldn’t get any closer anymore.
+ pairing: kim seungmin x female reader + genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, florist!seungmin, best friend!felix + warnings:none + word count: 1.1k + requested as part of my Drabble Event #2 + summary: Your plan was simple: get Kim Seungmin a flower bouquet that screamed how much you despised him. However, your plan fails after you meet the florist and understand that maybe flowers can mean different things to different people. + lia’s note: Hello, I hope you’re doing well. When I tell you I love this drabble, it’s because I do. I had so much fun writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it too! Please, like/reblog this if you enjoy reading it and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it! As always, happy reading!
“What flower says I hate you the most?” You asked your best friend as the two of you stared at the flower shop window, looking over the different arrangements on display. “Do you think I should google it?”
“Why do you want flowers anyway?” Felix shrugged and messed his hair. “Couldn’t you get him, I don’t know, a box of spicy chocolates?”
“Those don’t say I hate you discreetly, Felix. Those are too straightforward. Besides, he likes spicy food.”
“How do you know that?”
You ignored Felix as you moved away from the window, grabbing your phone and quickly searching which flowers had the meaning of I hate you. You scrolled through a couple of the results and made a mental list of the flowers you’d consider: orange lilies and yellow carnations seemed like the best option. You’d be sure to ask the florist to make you a small bouquet with that.
“Let’s go!”
You grabbed Felix’s hand and pulled him to the inside of the flower shop. A soft melody played and your eyes got lost in the beautiful colours of the different flowers, their scents melting in the air beautifully.
“Welcome to the flower shop! How can I help you?”
Your dream was short-lived when you glanced at who was behind the counter. The disappointment you felt was probably not mutual because his smile didn’t fade. Since when did Kim Seungmin work at a flower shop?
“I’ll wait outside…” Before you could argue with your best friend, Felix was already opening the shop door and stepping outside, offering you a thumbs-up from the outside.
You shook your head and massaged your temples, not surprised Felix left you here on your own to chat with Seungmin. He always did this whenever you were together. Slowly, you made your way to the counter and placed your hands on it, glancing at Seungmin. As usual, he had a smirk on his lips that made your heart jump in your chest at an awfully fast pace. This was why you couldn’t stand Kim Seungmin. You didn’t like feeling this way when you were close to him.
“I’d like a small bouquet with… orange lilies and yellow carnations. You can make it ugly, I don’t care.”
“That bouquet is for me, isn’t it?” He chuckled and leaned on the counter, keeping his eyes on you. You glanced at his lips and back into his eyes, wishing you had the strength in yourself to look away. “Props to you for looking up the meaning of the flowers. Sadly, we don’t have those flowers in stock. Do you still want to offer me an I hate you flower arrangement?”
“Make me a flower arrangement with the flower you hate the most, then.” You leaned closer to him too, somewhat upset. “And I don’t care about how it looks. The more you hate it, the more I’ll like it.”
He shrugged. “I don’t hate any flower, Y/N. And I can’t possibly make it look bad, not even on purpose. I am that talented. However, it will never be as beautiful as you, of course.”
Here he was again, swaying you with his words. You didn’t like this at all, especially when you knew this was the most cliché pick-up line he could’ve used on you. Besides, he didn’t mean it. Seungmin charmed everyone around him with words, half of which he didn’t mean.
His words carried no meaning. He truly didn’t think you were beautiful no matter how much you wished he did.
As he got back to work on the flower arrangement you had requested him, you paced around the flower shop and glanced at the different shades and sizes, smelling a couple of them to get the full experience of their scents. Some were stronger while others were lighter, but you enjoyed all of them.
“Gardenia,” Seungmin said after a while. “Specifically the white ones.”
“Do you hate them?”
He chuckled and shook his head, glancing your way. “I don’t hate them. I just feel powerless by them.”
“Why is that?”
You started to walk towards the counter again, focusing on what Seungmin was doing. He had selected a couple of flowers and was working hard to prepare a flower arrangement. He was methodical in his work, quick too. You found yourself leaning on the counter, fascinated by what he was doing, admiring him from afar.
“I always wanted to give you a bouquet with them.” He stopped what he was doing and messed up his hair, quickly glancing at you. He was flustered, making you flustered in return. “They’re pretty flowers. But I always feared you’d know what they meant so I kept myself from sending them to you.”
“It’s ok if you despise me, you know? What do they mean, anyway?” You said that last part more to yourself than to him.
You got your phone out of your pocket again and searched for the name of the flower he had said. The more you read, the more confused you were. Most websites said positive things, lovely things. Seungmin couldn’t possibly mean that, could he?
“Like any other flower, they can mean different things. But if I ever gave you these flowers it would be to tell you that you’re lovely.”
Your eyes shot from your phone screen to Seungmin on the other side of the counter, extending a bouquet of white flowers to you. It took you a while to understand that the flowers in front of you were the same flowers on the images on your phone.
White gardenias. Seungmin had prepared a bouquet with white gardenias.
Slowly, you reached your hand towards the bouquet, unable to hide your smile. It looked pretty, not ugly as you had requested. And the flowers were lovely, maybe more lovely than you. However, you couldn’t help but wonder what you would do with it. You had asked him for a bouquet with the flowers he despised the most, but now that you knew what they meant, you couldn’t help but wonder if that wasn’t the message you wanted to get across to Seungmin, but couldn’t.
You’re lovely.
“So these are the flowers you loathe the most?” You asked, just be sure.
“I guess…” He shrugged and messed his hair, smiling at you afterwards. “Just let me know which meaning you’re giving to them once you offer me the bouquet later.”
You nodded, feeling your heartbeat increase the more you stared at him. Except, this time, instead of looking away or making a sarcastic remark pretending you didn’t care for him, you allowed yourself to smile and enjoy this small moment.
+ pairing: hwang hyunjin x female reader + genre: angst, enemies to lovers, apocalypse!au + warnings: mentions of weapons, wounds, implied poor hygiene conditions, seungmin is sick, let me know if i am missing something + word count: 0.7k + requested as part of my Drabble Event #2 + summary: There is always a time when a tough choice has to be made. However, you didn’t expect to get help from the one who always disagreed with everything you said or did. + lia’s note: Hello, how are you? This piece is something I’d like to explore in the future somehow. It reminds me of ya dystopian which is the genre that made me fall in love with reading and only increased my love for writing. Please, like/reblog this if you enjoy reading it and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it! As always, happy reading!
The light that prickled through the windows wasn’t enough to light up the small space. The air smelled of gunpowder, sweat, and the last meal you all shared. No one dared to speak about the obvious, but the thought was in the air and hidden in the way you glanced at one another.
“We should talk about it,” you said, sitting on one of the wood boxes nearby, scratching the back of your neck. Everyone turned to look at you, wary of what you were about to say. “We need more supplies and food too. What we have won’t last us more than a few days. Besides,” you glanced at the opposite side of the room where someone laid on the cold floor, their breathing frail, “we need to find something to help him with the fever. There’s a couple of old pharmacies nearby, I’m sure we can…”
“You’re not possibly suggesting we go overground, are you?” You took a deep breath and glanced at him. He crossed his arms and shook his head. “It’s still not safe out there.”
“It will never be safe out there anymore, Hyunjin. Don’t you get that?” You stood up and wiped your hands on your dirty trousers. “The food we have might last us two more days, even if we eat only the essentials. Without any medication, Seungmin won’t survive much longer. And I know this place very well. It used to be my home.” You turned to face everyone else and gulped, your heartbeat increasing in your chest. “I… I’ll go.”
Murmurs erupted in the small crowd, but you knew none of them would volunteer to go instead of you. Still, even if you voted on who would go, you would probably be one of their choices.
“You won’t survive out there,” Hyunjin said. “You can’t aim a gun, you’re weak… how do you expect to carry food and supplies here on your own?”
Whether Hyunjin was mocking you, you couldn’t be entirely sure. The truth was, the two of you never got along very well, and often your values and opinions collided with one another. You didn’t understand how he could only think about himself. Even here, despite everything that was happening, he didn’t see the grand scheme of things. Still, you weren’t going to spend your energy arguing with him. It was no use.
“I’m not asking you to come with me. And if I don’t survive, there’s one less person to eat, right? That should make the food last a little longer for all of you…”
You moved past him and started to prepare your weapons to go to the surface. It wasn’t a task you were pleased about, but it had to be done. You picked up a few guns, feeling their weight on your hand before checking whether they had enough ammunition for you to carry.
After a while, Hyunjin joined you and, after glancing at the table in front of you, he extended a gun your way, not looking you in the eyes.
“This one’s better for you. It has less kickback and it works best with how you usually shoot and aim.” You glanced between the gun and his expression, biting your lower lip. When you didn’t accept the weapon, Hyunjin grabbed your arm and turned your palm upwards, placing the handle on your hand. “I don’t want you to die, Y/N.”
“I’m glad to know you still have consciousness,” you said sarcastically as you saved the gun in its pouch on your waist. You lifted your ways to look at him, serious and determined. “I’ll be back.”
“I’ll go with you.” He bit his lower lip and ruffled his hair, fixing it right after. It was too long now, he needed a bandana to keep it away from his eyes. “You may know how to move around on the surface, but you still need someone to help you out. Besides, I can help you carry stuff and… keep you out of trouble. I’m sure Felix can keep order while we’re away.”
You weren’t sure if Hyunjin was worried about you, but you weren’t going to be stupid and deny his help. He was right, you needed someone’s help. And from everyone around, he was the one better qualified to go with you.
“Fine,” you said, looking him in the eyes. “But when it comes to locations, you follow my lead. When it comes to cover and safety, I’ll follow your lead. We have to trust each other if we want to survive.” You gulped, knowing that your next statement would be too honest for you to pretend you weren’t saying it out loud. “I want to survive, Hyunjin. With you.”
+ pairing: han jisung x female reader + genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, exes to ??, college!au, badboy!jisung + warnings: mentions of drinking, reader is slightly intoxicated, let me know if i am missing something + word count: 1.5k + requested as part of my Drabble Event #2 + summary:You knew Jisung’s promises tended to be empty and after what happened, you swore you would never be his again. However, it’s never too late to change, or is it? + lia’s note: Hello, how are you? So this drabble is very angsty, I’d say. I hope you enjoy reading it, I enjoyed writing it! Please, like/reblog this if you enjoy reading it and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it! As always, happy reading!
The party wasn’t as fun as you wanted it to be. Despite the music playing and everyone’s efforts to keep you entertained, the truth was you were having a hard time. These kinds of places always reminded you of Jisung and he was someone you wanted to avoid and forget.
However, that was proving to be harder than you’d like to admit.
You still saw him on the campus grounds and whenever your eyes met, you had to look away and continue to walk. You couldn’t bear the pain in his eyes, but you also didn’t want to bear it. It was probably an act to him like most of your relationship had been. Did he ever love you or were you too enamoured to see the red flags?
Whenever the two of you crossed paths he’d try to talk to you. He’d try to say that he had changed and that he was willing to give all of what you had another try. Part of you wanted to give in and accept his offer, accept his words. But whenever you were about to do it, images of what had happened popped into your head.
It wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. And yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about all of it.
As the party went on, you grew slightly tipsier. Whether it was your need to forget or your desire to enjoy a cold beverage, you weren’t sure. Your thoughts started to get muffled together, your words slurred. Even the music sounded slower and your dance moves were heavy and erratic. Your heart jumped in your chest and when your eyes landed on Jisung on the other side of the dance floor, you stopped what you were doing, unable to look away from him.
Tonight, he was alone. He leaned on the wall and sipped on his drink, raising his cup to whoever greeted him on his way to the upper floor. For a while, he was oblivious to your eyes on him. But just like when you were dating, he always found you. No matter how big the crowd, Jisung always found you.
When he started to make his way towards you, you considered turning around and joining your friends near the beer pong game happening, but you couldn’t. You waited for him to join you, watching as the lights changed and greeted his features, amazed at how he looked good under every single one of them. Han Jisung was certainly breathtaking.
“Hi.”
You didn’t hear his voice but you read his lips. For the first time in a while, you pondered what it would be like to kiss him again. You wondered what it would be like to feel his arms around your waist as he kissed your skin, wanting you to be his. Had that been an act too? Part of you didn’t want to believe that tonight. Not now when he was this close to you.
“I’ve missed you,” you said, licking your lips as you stumbled towards him, a crooked smile appearing on your face. “I’ve missed you so much, Jisung. I’m so sorry, I…”
Your hands quickly found the back of his neck and you tried to pull him closer to you, but Jisung tensed up under your touch and shook his head.
“You don’t want this, Y/N.”
“How do you know?” You said, rolling your eyes. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what Iwant!”
“You’re drunk. I don’t… I don’t want you to do something you might regret later.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at him. Since when had Jisung started to care about your feelings? Since when did it matter to him what you felt? This had to be the funniest joke you had heard all night.
“You’re funny,” you booped his nose, not letting go of his neck. When your eyes found his, you expected them to be happy and eager for something, but this time, they were sad and cautious. You sighed. “Why aren’t you happy tonight?”
He pursed his lips and studied your expression carefully, his hand brushing softly against your cheek. You slowly grabbed it and intertwined your fingers together, a wave of electricity greeting you abruptly. His touch was certainly something else and you craved it more each day you were apart. And yet tonight, Jisung didn’t want it. Or maybe he didn’t want you. He probably had his eyes on someone else.
“It’s not just unhappiness,” he said over the loud music and let go of your hand, shaking his head. “I’m upset and disappointed with what I did to you.”
“We can move on from that, Jisung.” You tried to get closer to him again, to grab his hand, to pull him closer, but he stopped you. “We can…”
He started to walk away from you and towards the front door of the house and you followed him with wobbly steps. When you were outside, the music pounded behind you and you stopped briefly to consider whether or not you should go back inside. However, you found yourself climbing down the stairs towards Jisung as he messed his hair and paced around the empty road.
“We can chat about it.” You shoved your hands in your pockets and started to make your way toward him. “I’m not thatdrunk.”
“But you don’t want to chat for the right reasons right now. I know what you want right now.”
“And that is…”
Jisung pondered for a while. He glanced at the houses around the two of you as he ruffled his hair, somewhat desperate. You sighed and lowered your head, unsure of what to do or say. Maybe he was right, maybe you wanted to chat for the wrong reasons. Maybe you would say yes to everything he’d say to you in hopes that would get you closer to him, even if it was just for one night.
“I know you, Y/N. I notice the way you look at me. I know what alcohol does to you. You become touchy, emotional, needy. Trust me this time when I say you don’t want that. We’d both regret it.”
“Why would you regret it?” You chuckled as your heart sunk in your chest. “You’re done with me, aren’t you? You’ve found someone else now and they’re probably better than me, right? Where is she right now?” You started to look around trying to locate someone in the shadows or inside a car or just leaning on a picket fence. “Where is she, Jisung?”
“There hasn’t been anyone after you.” His voice was sombre and a chill went down your spine. You wanted to blame it on the wind, but when your eyes turned to look at him, you knew he was the one that caused it. “I have been trying to be a better person. Words mean nothing when you have nothing to back them up with. But I have been trying, Y/N.”
“Why?” That was the only word that left your lips whenever you spoke with Jisung tonight. “You could have anyone, you don’t have to change. After all-”
“Don’t you understand that I love you?” He took a deep breath and started to pace around, avoiding looking at you. “When we were together, I took you for granted. And then, I messed up what we had and that made me realise that I… I love you. I don’t think I have ever loved anyone as I love you right now.” He stopped pacing and turned around to look at you, heartbroken. “And sometimes, loving someone means to keep your distance from them, even when you don’t want to. More than anything I want to show you that I have changed and that I am willing to wait until you’re fully sober for us to talk about this. For to talk about… us.”
You couldn’t say anything to him. You got lost in his eyes, in this foolish hope that kept on growing in your chest and that you were expecting to burst at any moment, disappearing in a matter of seconds. However, that didn’t happen. This foolish hope refused to burst.
When you didn’t answer him, he shook his head and started to walk towards the party. He kept his eyes on his feet and a regretful expression he tried to conceal with a sad smile. This was why your hope hadn’t burst. This was why it kept growing.
This time, Jisung was giving you something more than his empty promises. He was doing what he told you he would do: he was making an effort to be a better person. And right now, as much as you wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter, this mattered to you more than anything he had ever done to you.
“Thank you,” you said and he stopped on his way up the stairs to look at you. You nodded. “We’ll talk about… us some other day. I’ll… text you?”
“Call me.” He smiled softly at you and you couldn’t help but reciprocate the gesture. “I like the sound of your voice. Good night, Y/N.”
You blamed the alcohol in your system for making all of your thoughts slower and your reactions delayed. Still, despite all of that, one thing was for sure: this time, you would trust Jisung.
genres: social media!au, college!au, comedy, angst, fluff
synopsis: after moving away suddenly, yn is thrown back into the lives of her two childhood best friends after changing her major behind her parents back. what happens when one of them just can’t seem to let go of that grudge he’s held onto for ten years?
warnings:swearing
「next chapter」
a/n: hey sorry it took so long, i got lazy and super into twt. this chapter is ass, but the important thing is that i managed to sit myself down and actually get it out. hope you like it tho!
on god, i need a compilation of these reaction images bc it just adds that ✨je ne sais quoi✨ to the story lmao I love that everyone has agreed to be anti-minho until further notice
but anyways welcome back and congratulations on getting back into the rhythm even if its for a short bit, you did your best and thats what matters
genre: angst au: idol au warnings:none word count: 0.7k pairing: f!reader x seo changbin song:fools by troye sivan
Once upon a time, you could have had everything.
After you landed a well paying job, you had a castle, a one bedroom apartment in a new high-rise building with giant glass windows and an infinity pool on the roof. Once you earned a promotion, you bought a gleaming white carriage with 350 horsepower. When your grandmother passed, you inherited her gold crown with the sheer veil.
All that was missing from the story was a prince.
For years, you never thought you would meet him, but fate finally smiled upon you on your twenty-seventh birthday. The sun shone with a brilliance, and the clouds spread across the blue sky made it feel like the heavens had presented themselves to the mortals on such a blessed day. Distracted by the sight through the café, you bumped into a stranger, splashing your latte all over their shirt. You apologized profusely, but the man assured that he was unharmed. He pulled his baseball cap further down, almost if he was embarrassed by the incident. Then he scurried away.
You assumed you would never see him again after that. To your surprise, he was sitting at the café the following week. Tucked away in a back corner, hunched over a notebook, you would not have noticed him until he rose from his chair with a screeching scrap. An offer to buy him coffee as an apology turned into a chat and then a conversation that you did not want to end. He had a way with words and a sharpness to his tongue that you found strangely charming.
Names were exchanged, but you dared not ask for his phone number. It was too presumptuous, so you instead chose to visit the café every day in hopes that he would also come back. He did.
He worked in the music industry, he said, a producer and writer. When you asked for specifics, he danced around, so you did not pry. The liminal space you two occupied always seemed to be on the verge of collapsing when reality threatened to seep in. One did not wax poetry about doughnuts to strangers, but they did not reveal their deepest, darkest secrets to friends either. He was the only person you told about your loneliness, for the princess in her tower had no confidantes. He talked about the heavy burdens he carried, the immense pressure he placed on himself. Was it the shared pain that brought you closer? Your heart ached when you saw his artfully crafted smiles. They were masterpieces indeed, but the prince needed to be saved in this story.
So you broke the unspoken rule. It was by accident, but when the opportunity presented itself, you could not stop yourself.
Through a magazine cover, you discovered Changbin’s true career. You pored over the interview and the countless ones he had done before. Everything he had a hand in, you watched and listened with great curiosity. It was wrong, but he bared his soul to you; you had to help him. You should have kept your mouth shut, but your selfishness won out.
During your outburst, he shrunk himself into a little ball and tugged his cap down, trying to hide you from his view. When he finally looked up, there was betrayal written across. An apology wouldn’t suffice this time, nor would a barter of your own background. No matter what you did, you could feel him slipping away. You could not blame him, but you did not want to let him go either. You knew the rules, unspoken and spoken, so what compelled you to hold on? It only hurt you.
Finally, the rift grew too large to heal. While he returned to the stage, you sheltered yourself in your castle and watched from afar. You dreamed that he wrote about you, that your existence left something lasting. Yet nothing ever proved your claims, so you gathered the glass pieces of your heart and found a new prince. You wore your crown on your wedding and traveled to a new kingdom.
Now your past is just a fairy tale, a bedtime story you tell your children who do not believe it anyway. Perhaps that is the most difficult thing to come to terms with, that your relationship with Changbin was never possible in the first place.
genre:angst au: non-idol au, vaguely historical au, doctor au? warnings: descriptions of gore, lobotomy, back alley medical procedures, implications of mental illness word count: 0.7k pairing: gn!reader x lee felix song:maniac by stray kids
“Do you hear them?” you hiss. You grip the armrests of your chair and furtively look around the room for the ghosts. All you can make out are blurry shadows along the walls, but those appear to be from the furniture in the room rather than ghosts. You learned how to tell the difference after they tricked you the first few times. You have never been able to see them before, but maybe they will finally show themselves to Doctor Lee Felix. He is worthy, isn’t he? He’s a renowned doctor, and they promised to leave you alone if you brought someone worthy. “Can you see them?”
Doctor Lee leans forward, folds his hands together, and gives you a pleasant smile. “Who?”
The grandmother, with her gnarled fingers and heavy rings, strokes your hair, clawing your scalp and grabbing fistfuls. You scream and whirl around to hit her, but you only make contact with the air. You grab randomly, hoping that you can curl her pearl necklace around your palms and control her like a puppy on a leash.
You cannot, and she laughs. She orders you to kill him. Pluck his eyes out, and give them to me. She promises you honey-sweet tangerines and your favorite sausages.
“No!” you shout. You bury your heads between your knees as you try to stop her from touching your hair again. “Go away!”
“Are you alright?”
Before you can answer, a childhood lullaby fills your ears, even though your ears are muffled with cotton. They’re always loud enough that they can get past your defenses. The little girl sings, her notes crooked and ugly just like a crow’s screech, for you to reach inside Doctor Lee’s chest and hold his heart. Feel his heartbeat in your hands. Watch the blood pump and spill down. Frightfully, you glance up at the doctor who is still patiently waiting for his answer. He asks you again.
You can’t hurt him, so you furiously shake your head. “Make them go away! They won’t stop!” You jerk forward to avoid the grandmother’s grasp and land so close to Doctor Lee that you can see the freckles dotting his cheeks. They look like little stars. “I don’t want to kill you.”
His smile falters for a second, but his mouth curves up again. “Do people ever tell you that you have a few loose screws?”
Your mother, your father. The man who sweeps the grocery store floor and the teenaged boy who lives across the street. “Yes, all the time. Why?”
“Well,” he says as he picks up the drill beside him, “it’s not just a figure of speech. I can fix you, if you’d like.”
Fix you. Like you’re a torn doll who simply needs some stitches to go back to normal. For a few seconds, you can ignore the jeering from the ghosts. “Can you really?”
“Of course. I’ve done it many times before. It’s my specialty.”
You hold his hand in yours. His skin is warm and soft, unlike yours which have been roughened from years of battle with the ghosts. Knives don’t work on them, nor wooden clubs, but that never stops you from trying to get rid of them. “Please. I’ll do anything.”
“Wonderful.”
A week later, you find yourself lying on a medical bed, staring up at a bright light. The grandmother has returned, and she screams from wherever she is for you to lash out, to scratch crimson red lines down the faces of those hovering around you. A crowd of curious onlookers have gathered to watch Doctor Lee perform a miracle on you. She won’t stop screaming. She wants you to take their eyes so she can have them for herself.
“Please hurry,” you whisper to Doctor Lee. He is dressed in a white lab coat today, and the little girl sings of how handsome he will look when his ribs are cracked open to reveal a pulsing heart. “They’re back, and they want me to hurt you, but I don’t want to.”
He places a calming hand on your forehead. “Close your eyes.”
You do.
When you finally wake up, the ghosts are gone along with a piece of your skull and brain.
genre:angst au: noir au warnings: alcohol, implied drugs wordcount:1k pairing: f!reader x hwang hyunjin
Your long fur coat settles around you like a puddle of luxury as you take a seat at the counter. It’s slow tonight, with only a smattering of gentlemen flocking around the stage of the woman who sings in a voice made of honey. Cigar smoke wafts throughout the bar, intermingling with the distinct perfume of booze.
Your eyes wander to the expansive shelves behind the bar and take note of the expensive collection of bottles on the top shelf. The golden scotch interests you, but perhaps another time. Before you can call the dark-haired bartender over, he comes to you instead. With a silky smooth smile, he slides a shot of whiskey across to you. “On the house.”
Rule #1 of The Apothecary: Do not drink anything you did not ask for.
You push it back with your index finger. “I’m more of a gin person myself. Clover Club with a shot of oxy, please.”
“Coming right up.”
While he busies himself with your order, you do your best to keep an impassive expression on your face. However, the cleverly hidden door in the far back of the buildings distracts you. Forget the drinks, people only come to The Apothecary for one reason. You keep one hand on the inside pocket of your coat, feeling for the carefully folded bills inside. They are all accounted for; you know that even through the lining.
You listen to the jazz singer croon into the microphone for another minute, watching the men as they talk amongst themselves, raise glasses of bourbon to their lips, wolf whistle when they spot you lounging in the dark. The lipsticked smile you flash sends them into howls.
The bartender sets down your cocktail in front of you. In a low voice, he says, “He’s ready for you.”
The door is now ajar, weak light filtering through the crack, beckoning you to come in. Taking your drink, you make your way inside. A young man with blond hair sits behind a mahogany desk in a chair made of crimson velvet. Just the sight of him makes your heart pound. Saint Valentine in all of his glory.
“Hey there, dollface,” he says. Then he taps the wooden tray on the desk.
Rule #2 of The Apothecary: Always bring an offering.
You place down your pink cocktail, taking special care to not disturb the line of white foam on top. Then you take out the money and set that on the other end of the tray. “Clover Club,” you inform him as you sit opposite of him, “and the usual.”
He sips on the drink, making a sour face when he tastes the sweetness. “Gin rickeys are much better than this. Dark or light this time? Or both?”
“Both.”
He procures two glass vials from a desk drawer, and you accept them. One vial is filled with a clear, almost iridescent, liquid, and the other is a deep amber tone.
Rule #3 of The Apothecary: Ensure what you are being served is what you requested.
You uncap the light vial and allow yourself a mere drop of the potion. A warmth spreads through you, and an enchanted serenity falls over you. You feel the ghost of your mother’s arms around your shoulders, the dizzying laugh of your best friend, the rhythm of Saint Valentine’s lilting words. For a moment, you are euphoric, dancing atop of heaven’s clouds with Aphrodite smiling upon you.
Then it all disappears.
Without thinking, you clasp your hand over your heart, almost gasping when you find yourself back in the bar. Everything is dull in comparison to what you just experienced. Disappointment and anguish coat you like tar, and your mouth waters for another drop. However, you tamp your desires down and grab your sleeve for an earthly anchor. Saint Valentine sinks into his chair when he notes that you have come down from your high. He nods to the dark vial, and you roll it into your palm.
You pop off the cap before holding it out to him. “Will there ever be a day where you try it instead of me?”
“You know I don’t dabble in my own goods. It’s bad for business.”
“Of course.”
You take a tiny sip. Saint Valentine clouds your thoughts—his midnight eyes, his marble cheeks, his Cupid’s bow. The droll voice he uses when he speaks to you. That perfectly delectable, plump lower lip of his. He is so close. If you stand up and lean across, he would be yours, and you would be his. You want—no, need—to kiss him.
“I…” you breathe, gripping the edge of the desk for support, “I… love—”
You snap out of the spell, a hot blush creeping up your face as you realize how near you are to him. Even after the effects of the drink have worn off, your passion for him still lingers. One accidental move could mean that you would be touching him. However, you fall back into your seat, trying to appear less flustered. He stares back with a faint smirk playing on his lips. You watch them when he asks, “All to your liking?”
In a desperate attempt to regain composure, you give him a cold look that melts as soon as you notice the bob of his throat when he tries the cocktail again. “They’re perfect. As always.” You stand up and smooth your coat. “I’ll see you next week.”
Saint Valentine slowly blinks at you and devilishly smiles, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. “Send my regards to the gentleman you seduce next. God only knows how hurt he’ll be when he discovers what your true intentions are. It might even kill him.”
“See you next week,” you repeat.
You stalk out of the room and then out of the bar. The bartender says something to you as you stroll past, but you cannot hear him over the applause from the stage and the rush of wind as you push open the door. You make it down one block before fumbling for the light vial and consuming all of its contents.
This time you only feel Saint Valentine, only him.
psst if you want a fluffy, valentine’s day story with hyunjin:candy hearts
genre: slight fluff but mostly angst au: dark academia au, college au warnings: mentions of blood, corpses, murder, knives, stabbing wordcount: 1.2k pairing: gn!reader x kim seungmin
A cold wind scatters dead leaves across the campus, static clings onto wool sweaters, the squirrels retreat to their trees—all signs of an incoming storm. The sky boasts of large gray clouds, the promise of rain literally looming overhead.
Yet for the past twenty minutes, not a single drop has fallen. As you traverse the campus to the library, you wonder if you should have chosen to wear your oxfords instead of your practical but ill-matching rubber rain boots. The prospect of rain was what stopped you, but you were very nearly tempted to damage your favorite pair of shoes because Kim Seungmin asked if you wanted to study together.
As charming as you found him, you nonetheless donned your cherry-red boots before you left your dorm and took what your friends referred to as your ‘funeral umbrella’ in case a storm did arrive. You discover that you made the correct choice when you approach the steps outside of the library, when the sky finally enacts its threat.
It comes down all at once, and you scramble up the darkening stairs with your unopened umbrella. Fat water droplets pelt your cheeks, and lightning flashes in the distance, momentarily lighting up the world before it falls dim again. A small crowd has gathered at the door to watch, and you hastily push past them, muttering apologies as you frantically smoothing your wild hair before entering the premises.
You suppose today has proved to be an unfortunate sort of day because Seungmin is one of the onlookers. He calls your name, and you wave back, trying to presume a nonchalant pose that turns out to be more awkward than you imagined. When he makes his way over to you, you are thoroughly flustered.
And you haven’t even said a word to him yet.
“Forgot you had that?” he teases, gesturing to your umbrella.
“I thought I could make it. It all happened so fast.” You nervously thumb the strap of your worn leather messenger bag and wonder how you are going to make it through the study session. “Good thing you got here before it started.”
“Yeah, I just missed it. I arrived a little before you did. But now that you’re here,” he says, “where should we go? I like the basement level the best, but I’ll let you choose since you got rained on.”
You select the fourth floor, the topmost one with the large floor-to-ceiling windows and a terrace overlooking the historic campus. Brick buildings laced with ivy, sun-dappled maple trees—with such a view, you have no clue why anyone would prefer the fluorescent lights and dust of the basement.
When you ask him, he simply replies, “No one’s ever there.”
Your shoes make uncomfortable squelching sounds rather than the satisfying clicks you are accustomed to. The students lounging on the first floor eye you as you pass by, but Seungmin continues striding forward, slowing his steps when he remembers that he is walking alongside someone for a change.
“I can hold your umbrella for you,” he offers.
“I’m fine. Oh,” you realize as you now look more carefully at him, “you didn’t bring one, did you?” Before you lose your nerve, you add, “I can walk you home or to your car or whatever if it’s still raining when we’re done.”
He smiles. If you were the dramatic, romantic sort—and you are—you would liken it to the sun. “Really? Thanks.”
“It’s nothing,” you shyly reply as you press your thumb to the elevator button. It has always felt wrong to you that a stately, old building like the library has something as modern as this. Sometimes it feels as if the university agrees since the elevator works like it is as old as the invention of the apparatus itself. “You said 9 in your text, right?”
“Yeah, but we can honestly study until closing if you want. I don’t have anything planned for tonight.”
“That sounds great! I mean, ‘cause I also—”
A loud rattle interrupts you. The silver doors open, and a boy with a near identical messenger bag to yours, walks out. You and Seungmin step inside and stand a delicate distance away from each other in the middle. You push the button for the fourth floor, and the doors shut, leaving just you and Seungmin alone, together, underneath a flickering panel of light. The inner workings of the elevator shift and creak as they carry you upwards.
A crack of thunder, able to be heard even through the walls, makes you jump. The light disappears the same instant, and a frightened cry escapes your mouth when everything goes black. Seungmin asks if you’re okay, and you assure him that you’re fine. The elevator is at a standstill.
“I think we lost power,” you uselessly say after a few seconds, when it is clear that the outage is not going to be momentary. You fumble for your phone, only to reason that there will be no service anyway. You turn on the flashlight and direct at the panel of buttons. “Hopefully the emergency call actually works.”
Seungmin seems rather delighted by the situation. “Can I do it?”
Unfortunately for him, the elevator starts going back down. Everything is still dark though, so you and Seungmin exchange concerned looks when you both voice your confusions. As the ground floor approaches, the confusion morphs into unease when you hear the commotion on the other side of the doors: distant screaming, a multitude of hushed conversations that have become a sea of noise, and orders being shouted.
“What the fuck is happening?”
You grip your umbrella handle tighter while Seungmin puts his arm protectively in front of you when the doors open. The first floor is still swathed in darkness, but with the help of flashlights from everywhere, you can make out a crowd of people crouching near the front entrance. Lightning flashes, illuminating dozens of faces against the windows. As Seungmin guides you out, you catch whispers.
Knife. Stab. Murder.
No, two murders. Maybe three. Definitely more than one.
You pull on Seungmin’s sweater sleeve. “Let’s stay here,” you say before he can get any closer to the crowd. A wide berth has been given to the crime scene because of a security guard, but Seungmin seems entranced by it. Half of the library seems to be in the same stupor as well. “I don’t think we’ll be able to leave.”
“Yeah, probably not.” He sweeps a hand through his hair and sighs. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
You echo the same sentiment and let out a sigh of relief when you hear sirens in the distance. When the paramedics come with stretchers and not body bags, for a moment, you hope that this is all a mistake and that someone simply fainted. But when the crowd gets up to make room for the paramedics, through the gaps, you see a dark pool of something that can only be blood. Then a limp hand laying leadenly across the floor.
“Don’t look,” Seungmin warns too late.
“I know.”
You tear your eyes away but not before seeing a police officer pick up a bloody messenger bag that looks eerily similar to yours.
Summary:Estela has learned a lot about people. How to charm them to get whenever she wants, how to sweet talk her way out of anything. How to be nice here and rude there. The most important thing she has learned is how to kill a man. There are a million ways to do so and she knows the most important one, break his heart.
WC: 14.3k
Warnings: mdni. violence. Drugs, alcohol, cursing. Talks of different torture methods. Blood mentions. Mafia content that comes with the territory. Minho is an alleged murderer but who isn’t in this story honestly, acab is heavy in this fic, side ships, aged up character(s),
Smut Warnings: pt 1 includes: kink negotiations, bdsm themes, cunnilingus, pet names (baby girl, dollface), slapping, sexual bruises, etc
A/N:this was originally written as apart of the april clownracha mafia prompt, since then it has flourished to be way too big for its britches
I learned at a young age that there were multiple ways to kill a person. There was the traditional violence, something that could mutilate their bodies and make sure they would never breathe again.
There was another way, a way to make a person wish they would never take another breath for as long as they lived. A way to make someone cry with every too big gasp or wish they could start all over fresh and anew, kill their own beings just so they wouldn’t feel the pain you caused them. Killing someone was easy and I knew hundreds of ways to do it, constantly calculating each way when I walked into a room.
Torturing a person was harder, lasted longer, and felt sweeter.
Lia’s kiss was sweeter than most of what she gave to me. Sweet and almost pure, a bright and bloody lip stain smearing my cheek. I groaned at her, wiping the lipstick print off my face.
“What? Suddenly dislike my kiss, sweetheart?” Lia smiled one of those looks that made her seem docile, cute even. Something that made her seem like a peach. Her lip was still bleeding as I tossed her the warm and wet rag. She snatched it up before pressing it to her cheek, that sick smile still on her face.
If she was a peach, she’d be rotten.
“One day, you have to get back out there with us,” she plopped down onto the couch, her eyes clouded and dreamy as she reminisced, “It’s not fun running the city when my favorite girl isn’t there.”
I just looked at her before sighing, turning towards our bedroom door, “Don’t stain our couch.”
“Help me shower? Clean my wounds for me like you used to?”
“Bother the medic, Julia.”
“Julia!” Lia scoffed, her voice breaking off into a yell as she rushed off the couch, stopping me before I could get too far, “Don’t tell me you’re angry with me again.”
Lia never really liked when I called her by her full name or anyone doing so for that matter. Putting her out at times felt like telling a spoiled princess she couldn’t go to the ball. It was dramatic, overdone, and painful for everyone involved. Lia glowered at me as she pouted, her cute bottom lip poking out.
“Come on, Estela, don’t be like that,” she looked up at me sweetly, tugging on my shirt trying to bring me closer. Once upon a time, I think she thought she and this pout of hers had some control over me. It didn’t then, and it surely doesn’t now. I yanked back and if she could pout more, she would have.
“Don’t annoy me, Julia.”
“Seems like everything I do annoys you!”
“Not just you.”
“Excuse me, Boss,” a weak knock sounded on my bedroom door the next morning. Lia must have left the door unlocked after I kicked her out, no doubt angry I wouldn’t let her into my bedroom for the third time that month.
I slowly blinked awake, trying to remember what day it was. What month even? Friday? No, it’s Monday. Yesterday, I attended that church service at our funeral house. Month? April? Possibly with how it’s raining outside. Since when do I own popcorn ceilings? I have to get that fixed immediately. I’ll let Yeji know to get it fixed. It was such an eyesore.
A quick look to my left told me I fell asleep drinking the whiskey I poured for myself. The condensation left a pool of water on the dark wood. Sitting up, I grabbed the glass, chugging the last of it down.
Breakfast of champions.
The knock happened again.
I stood up slowly, taking the time to stretch out each limb before walking over to the window and opening the curtain, letting the sunlight stream through.
My room was lit up nicely this way. Even though the only things in this place was a bed, a nightstand, a laptop, and a lockbox of all my weapons. Sighing, I let my hair fall free from my scarf and walked over to the door.
His hand was poised to knock again when I answered the door, rings glinting off his fingers as the sun hit them. He gasped softly before quickly putting his hand down and bowing to me.
“Good morning, Boss,” his pretty dark hair fell into his face. Today, he was wearing one of those all black face masks I see the others in at times, however since he was with me, it was pulled down to show off his smile. He smiled brightly, “You look amazing, Boss.”
I grunted in response, “What does Hongjoong want this early, San?”
“Hongjoong is requesting you meet him soon,” Choi San notified me as if it was obvious. It probably was, “He said you guys were supposed to have breakfast today.”
“What time is it?”
“2 pm, Boss.”
I rolled my eyes. Another day gone. Seriously, what was I even doing?
“Alright, tell Yeji to pull my car around. Tell Hongjoong I’ll be at his place shortly,” I ordered San around easily and he nodded, pulling out his phone. Choi San was more than used to servitude under me.
“Should I also get Wooyoung to bring you something to eat?”
“Unnecessary.”
“Dr. Song said-”
“I don’t care what Mingi said, San.”
“I do!” San chirped up before shrinking back down as he realized he was talking back to me. I raised an eyebrow at this sudden admission. San bowed quickly, keeping his head down as he spoke. He started to wring his hands out, the metal of his rings being constantly twisted, “Apologies for talking out of place, Boss, but you seriously need to eat better. Dr. Song instructed me to keep track of your eating habits and I have been!”
“You can keep track of my eating habits but you couldn’t even peddle on your corner without getting distracted?”
San at least had the common sense to look ashamed of his shortcomings before he spoke again, “You haven’t ate anything substantial in a couple days. I’m ordering you food, Boss. You also smell of whiskey so shower before I take you to Hongjoong.”
“Who in the absolute hell do you-”
“Do you want me to say it or do you want Hongjoong to say it?”
San made a point which was more than aggravating, “Fine. While I shower, make sure Yeji is prepared to take me anywhere I wish to eat. I don’t feel like eating in Hongjoong’s presence.”
“Yes, ma’am. What shall I have Yeji get for you?”
“I want to stop at Felix’s bakery. If I must eat, at least let Felix make it for me.”
San nodded, typing out a quick text before putting his phone away, “We worry about you, Boss.”
“Shut up, San.”
San simply nodded before leaving my condo. I sighed as the energy left my body. Maybe I should have listened to my father all those years ago and started taking my medicine more regularly. Social situations were getting more draining. I snatched the bottle off my nightstand and took two of the anti-depressants dry. Mingi was right in saying it was hard to get used to these pills.
Maybe I should go back to therapy.
I remember being younger and how my father rarely talked about his parents. Said it wasn’t necessary, terrible for his mental just to even think of them in a small capacity. Just as well, I never met them while he was alive. He didn’t want me to. He would tell me about how old school they were, how their favorite methods of torture was waterboarding. The act of slowly drowning your victim. A painful, mentally agonizing form of torture that left no marks. It was repugnant. It was the best way to torture a person to get something out of them. The best way to extort.
Sometimes, I could shower without screaming. As long as my back was turned from the stream of water, I was fine. If my face was caught in it, I could still feel the burn of the water filling my throat. The tears blinking away. The constant throwing up of water for hours upon hours after. There were no permanent physical scars to it.
“Where is your mother, Estela?”
“I don’t know,” I didn’t know if my face was covered in tears or the freezing cold water that was being poured down my cellophane wrapped mouth. This was agonizing and it felt like it was going on forever. My body shuddered when he touched me, his face reeking of his favorite scotch brand and Colombian cigars.
“Protecting that slut won’t save you.”
“Please. Leave me alone, Dad, please.”
He would just chuckle, “Look at you, protecting that little slut as she runs off with mymoney! My hard-earned money! Clothes I bought her! Car in my name! Blackmailing me with my secrets! Who is here protecting you, Estela? Not your dear, sweet mommy.”
“Sir, we shouldn’t be-”
“Shut up, boy!” My father regarded Hongjoong angrily as the young boy gingerly held the bucket of water. Hongjoong didn’t move an inch as my father turned his rage onto him, simply just blinking. He was a fresh runner at that time. He wasn’t the second in command that he was now. He wasn’t my best friend yet. Just a newbie looking for a place to belong and forced to watch me get tortured for my mother’s infidelities.
In a way, I felt sorry for Kim Hongjoong. He was kicked out at a young age, working multiple jobs to try to take care of himself. Then he made the mistake of stumbling across my aforementioned mother. She would poke his cheeks, call him cute, and say that the grime covered boy could come into our mansion. Our estate. Work for us, free housing, free food. All he had to do was keep careful watch for her. Keep her dirty secrets.
He did so marvelously. So well that no one knew her secrets, no one even knew that Hongjoong knew them. Not my dear father, at least. Instead, he assumed I would know. Assumed I would know why she ran away to another country. Why she took so much of his money and prized possessions. Why she took my father’s secrets to another mafia.
I didn’t know but it was my cross to bear.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
“Back from the dead?” Bang Chan smirked as Lee Minho stepped into the room. Minho smiled at the older man. It was hard not to when Chan’s smile was just so contagious.
“Thanatos himself will have to drag me down before I let those two-bit gangsters kill me,” Minho laughed as he sank down into the chair that Seonghwa pulled out for him. He settled into it before he was pushed back up into the table. Park Seonghwa patted his shoulder as he gestured to the meal in front of him.
Lee Minho would describe his lifestyle as humble. The house he lived in was a quaint five bedroom, two story house. A two car garage with an apartment over it where Seonghwa slept when he wasn’t being paid to stay by Minho’s side every second. A basement that was practically an armada. A glorious master suite that was designed and custom made to fit all of Minho’s needs. A newly renovated kitchen. An outdoor pool with an attached jacuzzi. Four bedrooms he filled with whatever whims he craved.
Yes, his suit was made out of the finest fabrics and each one custom made to fit him. And maybe the jewelry he wore was also cut of only the richest carats and handcrafted by the most careful of hands to be made just for him. Well, maybe Lee Minho only knew the finer things in life, only knew proper indulgence, but he was humble.
Even when his personal chef made a dish he disliked, he was humble. Even when that same chef messed up one of his favorite meals, he kept his screaming and disgust to a minimum.
It was even easier to remain humble when that same chef tried to poison the mafia leader. Chan easily stepped in to take care of him, but Lee Minho was as benevolent as a deity. He understood and nodded as the chef pleaded, begged for mercy. Minho understood, how could he not. When someone is extorting your family, practically forcing you to do something so vile to someone else, at the risk of your own life? How could you not want to poison Lee Minho in order to save your family from the other bad guys?
Minho understood, and since he was humble, so humble actually that he was not afraid to twirl the knife in his hands, one, two, three times before it hit his target.
He could hear Seonghwa groan at the mess he made, the one he would have to clean up. His eyes were on Chan as the older man smiled at the chef as he laid on the kitchen floor.
Minho was trained to taste poison at a young age, microdosing on it like it was his daily vitamins. Minho knew all the weak points of everyone who stepped into this eyesight, accessing them so that if the time ever came, he could easily dismantle anyone and everyone who threatened him. He was rich, he considered himself kind, poised, trained, an absolute beast.
Most of all, he was humble. A heart on his sleeve kind of guy. Just your average run of the mill type.
“You just got back and you’re already ruining the fresh wax seal,” Seonghwa said with a deep sigh as he went to call the clean-up crew. Bang Chan was still smiling at the body as Minho handed him the dagger.
Chan delicately cleaned the blade for him with his handkerchief before handing it back to him. Minho placed the knife back in its holder, the putrid scent of iron filling his nose, even with it being clean of blood. Chan giggled before giving a slight nudging kick to the limp body that was pouring out blood on their feet, “He made good bibimbap.”
“No, he didn’t,” Minho sighed heavily as he turned and walked out the kitchen. His meal was ruined and he didn’t feel like cooking.
“Do we think it was a hit put out by Onyx Star Syndicate?”
Minho regarded Chan for a second, thinking about the question, “Doesn’t exactly seem like their dear leaders style. He’s more upfront.”
“We don’t know much about Kim Hongjoong. He could be capable of anything.”
“No one does,” the leader of Red Thunder shook his head, already feeling his mind start to process just who exactly is dumb enough to order someone to poison Lee Minho. Who dared to think he was stupid enough to fall for such a dumb, obvious trick?
“Shall I order you take-out?” Chan said, taking note of his mood. If Minho was humble, Chan was considerate. They worked well together.
“How about we go out for a meal? I feel like I don’t interact with this city enough. Not yet, at least.”
“That may be a little hard, Minho,” Chan said, never using honorifics when it came to Minho. They have known each other too long for that, “The Onyx’s seem to own everything around here.”
“I’m sure a meal at one of their smaller restaurants will cause them no problems,” Minho shrugged on his leather jacket, switching out of the Armani sportscoat he had on earlier, “Besides, it’s not like people truly know our faces. They use our establishments often. As long as we’re cordial, it should be no problem. We’re giving them our money anyway”
“Understood. Where would you like to go?”
“Is there a bakery near here? I am craving a really good brownie to finish off my meal.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
“Hongjoong expects us at his home in forty minutes, Estela,” Yeji held up her phone as she typed something out, barely looking up at me as she spoke. If it was anyone else, I would be offended, “I told him he should just meet us here but he said it’s business.”
“Friends for more than five years and he thinks he can boss his own boss around,” I sighed and shook my head. As if I could hold anything but love for that spitfire man, “I give him my legacy, and he hands me orders.”
Yeji just shook her head. She’s known me for way longer and is not afraid to shove that fact in my face, “He’s an idiot.”
We got into line at the bakery, looking up at the chalkboard menu. Felix’s gentle yet caring touch lingered throughout the place. Soft music echoed through the speakers and it only felt relaxing inside even with all the talking going on. It was a nicely decorated place. The walls were a soft, pale yellow and all the furnishings were a soft sage green. Pictures of different idols and scenic views decorated the walls. Some stuffed animals on tables and fresh flowers everywhere.
“Do you want your usual?”
“I think I want to try something new, Yeji.”
Yeji just hummed before looking back down at her phone. She trusted me too well to be aware of our surroundings. I wouldn’t take it away from her though.
Hwang Yeji was brutal in her job as my bodyguard.
“Yeji!” A voice chirped as we reached the front counter before a long haired brunette popped up in front of us. His hair pulled back into a beanie but it left his pretty face on display. The perfect cupid’s bow and the skin dotted in freckles. His apron was covered in whatever he baked today as he popped up to take care of our order.
No one here knew who I was. Hell, no one outside of Hongjoong, Yeji, Lia, Wooyoung, and San knew the truth. Our other mafia members didn’t. Not even the smaller heads like Changbin and Jeongin. To them, Hongjoong was the head of the crew, I was just his best friend, the pretty girl on his shoulder that they kept safe from time to time. The girl Lia took home some days and Hongjoong the others. Hell, Estela only appeared randomly and she worked at a flower shop that supplied flowers for funerals and massive events funded by the gang. She was so sweet and innocent when she put the act on, she couldn’t be completely corrupted by the evil mafia. Estela couldn’t be the head of the Onyx Star Syndicate that ruled over half of their country. She couldn’t have been raised to be just the cold-hearted, ruthless leader that Hongjoong pretended to be.
There was no way.
“Hi, Felix,” Yeji said, turning on the charm. To anyone else, it looked like we were just two girls going to hang out before doing whatever young girls did these days. They didn’t know we had at least 7 weapons on us a piece and were shaking, readying our bodies for anything. Constantly in motion, “What’s good today?”
“Besides that pretty smile on your face?” Felix flirted with a giggle and I rolled my eyes, “I’ve been experimenting with a stuffed spinach and cheese croissant? That and some peach white tea? Sounds amazing right. Estela, should I get started on your usual? Caprese on ciabatta and a gooey brownie?”
“I want the croissant you mentioned. And a gooey brownie.”
Felix tried not to act surprised. It didn’t work, “Two years of getting the same thing every time you come in and now you want to change it up?”
“I still want a basic Americano.”
“Of course you do,” Felix giggled, the sound as smooth as air, ringing up our order after Yeji rattled off what she wanted. The smile he gave us could make flowers bloom.
“Looks like you got some new help,” I said as I slid over some cash. I looked at the two people who were busying themselves cleaning the counter and the other making drinks.
“Yeah, I can finally afford to have some help these days,” Felix smiled again but this time the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He didn’t know I knew his business almost tanked and why it was flourishing now. He didn’t know I made sure Hongjoong gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
After all, I couldn’t live without Felix’s brownies.
I looked at them again. I remember Joong telling me Felix ended up hiring some boys who worked for the rivals, Red Thunder. He wanted to tell Felix to fire them but I stopped him. This is a good way to get information on their leader. The faceless boss of Red Thunder was almost as elusive as me.
Almost.
Red Thunder was a relatively new criminal organization to our area. Supposedly they were big in a couple cities over. Specialist in weapons and smuggling, the mafia was originally from a port city. They were great in what they did there. Providing efficiently and quickly to all who needed their product. Then they stuck their hands into the underground gambling ring and struck gold in more ways then one, allowing them the money to take over the city’s politics. Put their funds in the hands of corrupt politicians who didn’t care for nothing if not power. Their city was in their red hands, caught in the web like no other. The story goes that their current boss let his middle son leave, start his own league since he wasn’t taking over the mafia there, and the son decided that he wanted to come here, beat out one of the biggest mafias in the country.
Good luck to him, because I will be damned before I let somone ruin what I have built.
“Yeosang. Hyunjin, Come say hi,” Felix said and the two came over. They were both beautiful men, which may contribute to why Felix hired them. Things sell when someone with such killing looks is selling them to you.
They both nodded in a greeting.
“Hwang Hyunjin,” Hyunjin smiled and it was subtle but I noticed the nervous flicker in Yeji’s eyes. Yeji didn’t know much about her family after they gave her up to my mother. But she knew her last name.
It didn’t happen much these days, and it didn’t happen often, but there were some families, the richer ones in our mafia that held mistresses and concubines. That was normal. Them getting pregnant with a child by their benefactors? Normal. Them giving up the child for foster care is normal. What wasn’t normal was the selling. Getting rid of the kid by any means necessary. What wasn’t normal was my mother buying the kid for twice the amount and raising them alongside me as if they were my younger sister.
Sometimes abnormal was good.
“I assume you are Yeosang,” I said as Yeji tried to keep her cool. I could already see the wheels turning in her head and the itch to make sure she knew everything about this man as soon as she could.
“Yes, nice to meet you. Felix always tells us about how much he likes all his regulars.”
“Just one more,” Felix said as a blush took over his face.
“Just one more,” This Hyunjin teased, mocking Felix’s deeper voice, “Sorry, Felix, but anytime he walks in, you sputter and run to the back room.”
“Oh?”
“Shut up, Hyunjin.”
“It’s true. He says hi to you in that Australian accent of his and you turn to mush,” Yeosang commented and Felix looked as if he wanted to catapult into the sun.
“Please shut up.”
“Is that so?” A voice, an Australian voice, sounded off behind us and Felix yelped, turning bright red before running to the back room.
Yeji and I turned around to see the owner of the voice.
The man had dyed silver hair, slicked back with a couple of curls decorating his forehead. A strong scar stretched across his forehead to an eyebrow ring and another one decorated his high cheekbones. His full lips were stretched into a wide smile, showing off dimples and a sparkling diamond septum piercing. His arms looked heavily tatted, inked skin peeking out from the sleeves on his sweatshirt. Even though the sweatshirt, I could tell just how buff he was, how toned he must be.
“Hi, I’m Chris,” yeah, that man was Australian. This had to be Felix’s guy. I’m not one to play matchmaker but who knew twink Felix wanted a man who looked like he could dominate the ever-living fuck out of him. Kinky.
“Aussie guy!” Hyunjin yelled before Yeosang came and grabbed him to help prepare for food.
“I’ll order for us,” the Australian said to the man beside him who nodded.
“Wow, he’s hot,” Yeji breathed out and I had to agree as Chris left. I turned to take in his companion.
He had an all-black face mask on so we couldn’t completely determine all of what he looked like. Just from the eyes alone, you felt caught in a web as his gaze landed. The light hit the man’s eyes in such a way that they seemed to be dazzling. His dark hair was floppy as it rested on his forehead, looking soft and well taken care of. A sliver of forehead could be seen around the gentle curls that framed his face. His ears were covered in a delicate mix of earrings. The man wore dark black slacks that were obviously designer and a nice silk shirt with a leather jacket. One look at his shoes and I knew they were the same Ferragamo dress shoes that San always cried about wanting. His jewelry looked custom. Hell, the man looked as if he walked out of a GQ magazine, that body of lean tone muscle poised as if both modeling and ready to attack. The thing that kept my attention on him was the ring on his finger.
A silver ring, so shiny it gleamed in the sun. Rubies were embedded into the thick band with a large, roughly cut gemstone, almost like cloudy quartz, maybe something more than that.
“It’s impolite to stare,” his voice was gentle and deep. His eyes were settled on me as if expecting me to back down with how intense his glare was. I suppose a normal girl would.
I guess I should act like one, “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!”
Yeji scoffed as the man just shook his head and walked past us to find a table. Yeji pulled me to do the same, but something made me keep an eye on that man.
“Why are you staring that man down?” Yeji whispered to me in French.
I guess those years we spent in France when we were younger were more than beneficial, “His ring. Look up the gemstone.”
“Say please?”
“Do it and I won’t tell Jisung about your major crush on him.”
“I can’t believe people say there’s no better person in this world than a sister,” Yeji groaned in disgust as she did what I asked, “21 damn years on this planet with you and you’re still a pain in the ass.”
“You’re welcome.”
By the time our food came and I took my first sip of coffee, Yeji found it.
“Fulgurite? A quartz type created from lightning,” Yeji showed me her phone before eating her own meal. I went ahead and read the article.
Interesting. Who gets jewelry made so nicely over fulgurite?
“That man has a lightning bolt tattooed,” Yeji said, looking at Chris from where we sat. They were across the store but I never sat with my back facing the door so I couldn’t see them. Yeji had my back as she watched them.
“He took off his hoodie. Right on the bicep. A bright red lightning bolt. Can’t miss the detail of it though.”
All of my nerves felt alive instantly. Red lightning bolt, the symbol for Red Thunder Mafia’s heads. The ones that were close to the top. Not many people knew that fact besides other mafia leaders. We all got tatted at a young age with our symbols. The only way I got away without one was I didn’t want my father to be the one to tattoo me. Didn’t want to give him my pain, as was tradition.
Besides, I don’t need a black star tattooed. I am a black woman named Star. I am the symbol.
“Interesting, coming onto our property,” I whispered in French. The gears in my head were already working. If Chris was a part of Red Thunder, then that man with him had to be…
“Estela,” Yeji’s voice held a slight warning I chose to ignore, “We have 30 minutes before Hongjoong. Please don’t do anything to ruin the schedule. We can deal with this another time.”
“That’s your only concern?”
“You and I both know you can handle yourself.”
I giggled as I slid out of the booth and walked back up to the front counter. Felix was still hiding in the backroom, occasionally peeking his head through the back door window, his yellow beanie and eyes being the only thing seen as he watched Chris. Hyunjin remained sat at the counter, a bored expression on his face.
“Can I order something?” I kept my voice soft as I approached. Hyunjin smiled brightly at me. I noticed the cutest mole that sat underneath his eye as his eyes became sweet moons as the smile landed. What a bright-looking boy to be a rookie for the rival. I’ll let Jeongin know to keep a watch on him from now on.
We learned the hard way not to trust the sweet-looking ones.
“Of course, sweetheart, what can I get you?”
“I want to buy that pretty man in the mask one of Felix’s brownies, please. Tell him it’s from me, please?” I practically begged, keeping my voice light. A gentle point in the right direction and Hyunjin smiled with a nod.
“Of course, how could I not? I’m a hopeless romantic!”
It was hard to walk back to the table without a smirk on my face.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Chan was giggling all throughout lunch. Minho glowered at him, gently lifting his mask every once in a while to take a bite or a sip of his drink.
“Could you stop jumping up and down like a toddler?” Minho fiddled with his father’s ring on his finger. He just got it resized and was getting used to wearing the heavy ring. Why did his ancestors decide on such a gaudy piece?
“Didn’t you hear? The pretty baker apparently gets turned to mush by me,” Chan nearly squealed, his legs swinging back and forth as he danced along to the song that played. Minho sighed.
“You probably could with all that muscle, you bonehead.”
“Hey,” Chan’s bottom lip poked out, causing his top lip to gently touch the septum ring, “Meanie.”
“Go ask him out,” the brownie was good, he noted. He wouldn’t mind if the baker boy was around if he could keep eating these brownies, “He’s a good Brownie Boy.”
“We should probably find out his name.”
Minho couldn’t give a damn what his name was. Chan cared though, so he guessed he would too.
“Excuse me, sirs,” Minho didn’t bother to look up as one of the workers came up to them. He knew him to be one of their newer recruits working under Chaeryeong’s unit. Hyunjin and Yeosang probably didn’t even know they were next to their superiors, waiting on him hand and foot like they were meant to. Maybe he should station them at the Main House for a while.
“Hello, Hyunjin, what can we do for you?” Minho said and Hyunjin looked slightly taken aback, his features easily showed his emotions. He sighed internally. Hopefully, Chaeryeong can kill that habit of his.
“How’d you know my name?”
“What do you need?” Chan repeated Minho’s question. Minho didn’t like to repeat himself.
Hyunjin blinked himself out of his surprise, “Oh, um, yeah.”
He held up a wax paper bag to Minho, “Estela, that girl over there. She bought this for you.”
Minho supposed she was pretty enough. The same girl who stared at him earlier, not even any type of shame covering her face when she was caught. Smooth, deeply brown skin covered her strong features. High cheek bones and glossy lips were smiling his way. He could tell her hair as long as it was brushed into a high, curly ponytail. Her outfit was simple enough, but she was subtle. To the untrained eye (Minho had a trained eye, don’t worry), it looked as if her outfit was just dark flared jeans and a black turtleneck. Minho knew a designer label when he saw it. Minho knew the tennis bracelet on her wrist wasn’t fake but was probably custom. The apple watch she had, though the band looked old, had to be the newest model, and so was her phone. Her purse was the kicker though. Dingey, probably decades old, probably considered vintage as some old designer’s name decorated it.
The girl was flexing, but it was a subtle flex. An almost humble brag. Lee Minho appreciated that.
Minho took the wax paper bag from Hyunjin, gesturing towards the girl. His face was covered but he smiled underneath, hoping it still showed his gratitude.
“Shouldn’t you go and thank her?” Chan questioned him and Minho rolled his eyes as he turned back to the table. He could still feel the girl staring down the back of his neck. She really did have no shame.
“No, but, Hyunjin,” Minho slid over a wad of cash to him, “Let the girl know she can have anything her and her friend want.”
Hyunjin nodded before bowing and walking. Chan just shook his head slightly, “Talking to her would have been too hard?”
“She just wants my attention. Here I am, giving it to her.”
“She’s pretty,” Chan stated, taking another bite of his sandwich, “Besides when was the last time you got laid?”
“Getting laid is not one of my main concerns, no.”
“It should be, especially if she looks like that,” Chan shrugged, taking a drink, “Go on, eat Minho.”
Minho was beginning to actually enjoy his food before he was approached again. This time by a worker he didn’t see before, one with pretty, long, and dark hair and a young face. Maybe the bangs made her seem younger than she was. Probably a student that worked with Felix. He couldn’t tell if she was a part of any mafia dealings at all.
“Hi, sorry to disturb you, sir. I was told by Miss Estela, and paid rather well, to come over here and spit in your food.” the young girl said with a small giggle and Chan sucked in a breath in shock and Minho simply blinked in response.
“Excuse me?”
“She said that she would be damned before having a man ignore her kindness and just shove money back in her face,” the girl said before sighing, “That’s actually the meanest words I’ve ever known Miss Estela to say. She doesn’t particularly like to be ignored, sir.”
“What’s your name, kid? How much did she pay you?”
“Yuna,” she bowed politely again, “Five hundred dollars to spit in your food.”
“That’s it?” Minho laughed a little breathy as he reached into his pocket and counted some notes out before sliding that pile over to Yuna, “Here’s double that to not spit in my food and to tell your Miss Estela that I don’t take threats kindly.”
“Estela,” Chan repeated the name once Yuna left to relay the message, “That’s French, isn’t it?”
“Mmm,” Minho didn’t care. If the girl wanted to leave an impression, she sure did. He’d give her that much.
It wasn’t long before Yuna came back, handing him a business card, “From Miss Estela.”
Minho took the card before Yuna walked away, no doubt tired of playing the messenger game even if it left her two thousand dollars richer at the end.
“She left,” Chan noted as he kept watchful eyes on the door. Minho looked at the card.
Persephone’s Heart
Estela, Owner & Florist
Office: xxx-xxx-xxxx
Hours: Mondays-Fridays: 9AM-7PM, Closed Saturdays and Sundays
458 Gray Way
The card was subtle in decorations. Pretty flowers decorating the edges. It was an all-black card with gold lettering. Quality made to last. Another subtle flex that even for her small business and something as inconsequential as business cards, she got the best material they could be printed on.
He flipped it over to the back to see pretty cursive lettering.
Come by sometime, I’d love to give you flowers as pretty as you. And maybe, you can enjoy other types of brownies.
Minho tucked the card into his wallet as Chan eyed him. A laugh left Chan’s mouth before he could stop it.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Hongjoong was always dressed nicely. His neatly split dyed black and white hair was styled strategically, a method I know he spent years perfecting. His hair was unruly in style but he made it work. Even just wearing a t-shirt and jeans he looked like a model. His eyeglasses sat perched on his face as he looked at me in contempt, his lip pouty. His darkly outlined eyes were like boba pearls as he looked at me, his eyebrows curved as he looked at me.
“I haven’t seen my best friend in weeks,” Kim Hongjoong hugged me before I could allow him. I tried not to let my disdain show and let him.
“You see Wooyoung every day.”
“You bitch,” Hongjoong slapped my arm. It barely fazed me, “I’m talking about you.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s get this meeting over with. I left Jisung at the shop by himself today. I need to at least be there to close.”
Hongjoong frowned at me before gesturing for me to sit in his office. The room was as eclectic as he was, covered in a multitude of various knickknacks. His floors had the softest rainbow-printed rugs that matched curtains. His deck was a glossy gray color and held all of his most prized possessions, from a solid gold harmonica to a picture of us when we were seventeen. Probably the last time either of us smiled genuinely.
We shouldn’t have been smiling then.
“Take a seat, Joong,” I said and he sat down across from me at his desk while I sat in his extra chair across from him, “I really did not have to do that, you know?”
“I don’t like to feel like I’m in charge when I’m with you.”
“What a submissive thing to say.”
Hongjoong had the nerve to blush at my words before waving me off, “We have a few things to discuss.”
The meeting was long and tiring, as it usually was. Hongjoong was straight to the point but no situation we dealt with was. We spent the next couple of hours trying to make everyone we can happy, give us money, or any other business we needed to attend to before my phone rang.
Han Jisung.
“Hey, Hannie, what is it?”
I could easily envision the squirrelly man as he spoke. Han Jisung, while being a rookie under the mafia, still was a sweet kid. Just needed money to help his family out, and we were happy to give it, perhaps a little more leniently than usual. If I paid him a couple extra thousand on some paychecks or cleared some bills and loans from him here and there, he was forever grateful. I didn’t have the heart to throw him completely into our business, instead keeping him on the outskirts as an errand boy and a worker in my shop.
“Hey, boss, there’s a man here? Says he won’t leave till you show up. Want me to do the thing you always say to do?” Jisung sounded nervous as he asked, meaning he did not want to do the thing. That thing was calling Lia to come in and take care of it.
Suffice to say, she’s a little messy when it comes to us having an issue.
“What does he look like?”
“Kinda hot? Nice clothes. Young.”
Must be the guy from Sunny Chick Bakery we saw earlier, “Very well. Let him know I am on my way.”
“Wait, you sure you wanna come in, boss? He gives hella bad vibes,” Jisung never could hold his tongue, “Maybe you should bring Yeji or Hongjoong with you, I’d hate to see you get hurt.”
Bless his heart, “It’s fine, I’ll be on my way.”
I hung up before he could say more then sent a text to Yeji to pull around the car. I could feel Hongjoong’s intense gaze on me.
“Leaving before I dismiss you?” Hongjoong spoke like it was a threat but the grin on his face was teasing.
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know,” he leaned back in his chair, twisting a pen around his finger, “I heard something about a man there to see you. A romantic man, Estela?”
“None of your business, Joongie.”
“You’ve been my business for as long as I want to remember.”
I rolled my eyes at that, “You could have left once my father died.”
“And leave my business to run itself into the ground?” his earring chains hit his cheek as he shook his head, the jingling sound radiating through the room, “As painful as you are, come around more, yeah? Not just for business meetings.”
“I’ll try.”
“She will,” Yeji walked in then and Hongjoong smirked at her. They always got along way too well for my liking, “Next time, plan a party though. I wish to have fun before I die, Kim.”
“You got it, Hwang,” Hongjoong giggled before standing to lead us both out of his home. Well, my home. It was my family’s mafia house that he and a bunch of the other heads and their assistants, including Yeji, lived in.
By the time I reached the flower shop, it was less than an hour before closing. Jisung was already running around trying to finish all his nighttime tasks. This all usually consisted of preparing tomorrow’s orders, cleaning, and pruning as needed. When he heard the door ring as I entered, his wide eyes looked at me first as if I caught him with a mouth full of cookies.
Which I have before.
“Estela!” Jisung waved as I walked in, “You’re later than usual today.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No, no!” He quickly waved his hands, “You just always work the full Monday.”
“Had some family business to attend to.”
“Again? God, I can’t believe you take care of your grandmother all alone.”
My grandmother died when I was seven in a raid, but Jisung didn’t need to know that.
“Where’s this mystery man?”
“Apparently his name is Taecyeon.”
“No last name?”
He shrugged, “That’s all he gave me.”
Curiouser and curiouser. Color me intrigued, “Well, where is he?”
“Outback in the nursery. Wanted to see our different cherry trees apparently.”
I went outback. The store wasn’t huge or extravagant but it was ideal and able to hold everything we needed neatly. It was cleanly designed with glossy white fixtures and rose gold accents. Plants bloomed and flourished throughout. We had enough space to even allow a customer service aspect of a full nursery for bigger products or the ones that needed full sun. This was where I found the aforementioned Taecyeon, carefully reaching out to a mini Japanese maple.
“A full Japanese maple can grow to 25 feet in height,” I told him, Taecyeon turning to me as if I didn’t approach him silently. Like he already knew I was there. He simply blinked and hummed in response before standing up straight. The mask was still covering his face and this time he was wearing dark-framed glasses.
“I don’t know much about plants,” Taecyeon spoke as if whatever he said was just fact. No room for much in terms of arguments.
“We have gardening classes once a month if that’s something you’re interested in?”
“Why did you give me your card?”
“Oh? No hesitation huh?”
Taecyeon just raised an eyebrow. I noticed again how intense his gaze was. Though sparkly, it was like a roughly cut diamond, not the ones made for rings but the ones made for knife handles.
“You’re cute. I like beautiful men,” I think he would appreciate the honest truth. The hum of approval he gave proved it just as well.
It wasn’t the truth but how could he know that?
“Well, I appreciate the compliment.”
“I’m full of more if needed.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
I faked a giggle at that. Who knows if Taecyeon could see through me. If he did, he didn’t call me out on it.
“What made you open a botanical shop?”
“I like flowers?” I giggled genuinely that time, I didn’t know how to answer at all.
“Did you go to school for it?”
“Sure.” Does a couple of online courses and a year in France working under a landscaper through boarding school count?
“Do you know anything about landscaping?”
“Surprisingly, yes!”
“How much to hire you?”
Well. That wasn’t expected. This may be a lot easier than I thought, “I’d have to do a quote. How big the area is and what you want versus what is needed?”
“Are you free tomorrow?”
“Now I am.”
“I’ll send a car to pick you up from here at noon?”
“I don’t even think I know your name, sir.”
“What did your employee tell you?”
“Taecyeon.”
“Call me that, you can call me Tae, some friends call me Lee.”
I tried not to think too much about that sentence, “Lee Taecyeon?”
“Sure,” he smiled but it was one of those smiles that glimmered a little too well, showing just enough of his teeth without giving too much. A charmer of a smile.
“Your name that much of a secret that now you’re confusing me? Saying ‘sure’ isn’t an answer.”
Taecyeon had the nerve to look at least a bit bashful at that, “I like keeping pretty girls on their toes.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Kim Seungmin sighed into his cup of coffee. Jongho brought it to him over an hour ago and he was only just now drinking it, the drink already cold. It was way past clocking out time and Seungmin hated working overtime. The only thing he hated more was he still had no leads on the Red Thunder.
The Red Thunder Mafia seemed to have popped up out of nowhere. They didn’t hint at their rise. It was as if Seungmin blinked and suddenly there was another major power in the city. The leader of Red Thunder was just as much of an enigma, no one ever saw him or saw his face in full. Yet, you knew he was present.
At first, there wasn’t much to worry about when it came to this new mafia, they weren’t like the other ones in town, for sure nothing like Kim Hongjoong’s Syndicate. Instead, they seemed calm, practiced, as if nothing could touch them. Then, the city elections happened. It was small at first, a politician that was a heavy rival for an already long-standing congressman would go missing. Maybe a couple of community heads that tried to change the city for the better would suddenly fall ill or move to a new state out of nowhere. Then some detectives would disappear. Go on missions and wouldn’t return for months. If they did come back, they were a different person, a new personality to match the new scars and bruises. Soon, less and less of the police force looked into the Red Thunder. Great for them because as the elections continued, the main opponent for Mayor Park suddenly found themselves dead at dinner. One day, they were laughing, drinking, and celebrating a win in the debates. The next? Passed out at the family dinner table, wine spilling onto the ground while their wife and children screamed.
It wasn’t personal for him, but justice did not have to be personal for Kim Seungmin to want it.
“Hey, Seungmin,” Jongho opened the door to Seungmin’s office, not bothering to knock. He never did, which bothered Seungmin, yes, but Jongho made up for it with his great work ethic each time.
“Yes?”
“Another body was found at one of Red Thunder’s dumpsites,” Jongho said, passing over a file.
One look inside and Seungmin sighed. The body had the usual style of the Red Thunder’s leader. The throat was wide open in a curved smile almost, a very stylistic approach. One that made it known when he killed someone to the detective. Seungmin sighed down at the photograph.
“The victim went by the name Daniel and was a part of a lower-level gang. Apparently, that gang has had it out for Red Thunder ever since they forcibly took over one of the ports.”
“You think he attempted to murder their leader and paid the price?”
“It looks like it,” Jongho said, looking over the file again. His eyebrow knit in worry as he looked over it, “The body was in their dump site, but usually people of this gang wear a specific necklace.”
“So?”
“No necklace was found in the victim’s items.”
“Nowhere near?” Jongho nodded his affirmation.
“Interesting,” Seungmin thought about it for a moment. The wheels in his head were turning faster than he anticipated.
“The chief also wants me to tell you to drop the case and focus on all your other ones.”
“You and I both know I already finished all my assigned cases.”
“I wouldn’t be a good partner if I didn’t,” Jongho turned to leave before stopping at the door, “Listen, don’t get yourself killed trying to find out the inner workings of this mafia. They seem way too ahead of us at every curve and I am not too convinced that half of our department is not in their pockets. It’s dangerous, Seungmin.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Jongho left Seungmin to his thoughts as he added the newfound body to his ever-growing binder on the Red Thunder.
Maybe it was time for a new approach.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
“I can’t believe he hired a landscaper without telling me,” the gorgeous man in front of me shook his head quickly, a bunch of black hair escaping the neatly gelled down style he seemed to have kept it in. He was way taller than Chan or ‘Taecyeon’ and was nicely dressed in an all-black suit that looked like it was made of some Italian fabric. His hands were covered in a smooth leather as he twirled a phone in his hands. His full, pretty pink lips were made up into a sneer and his eyes were damn near staring into my soul.
I tried to keep the sweet girl attitude but the look of disgust on this man’s face was getting to me. Glaring would come way too easy if he kept talking.
“When does he ever tell you what he’s doing?” that dragged my attention over to the absolutely beautiful woman next to him. She was a bit taller than me with wavy black hair that reached her shoulders. She was dressed similarly formal as the other man but she wore a white button-up paired with a pinstripe vest and pants. Her boots looked heavy and her hands were clean of everything except two brass knuckles on both hands. The vest held a singular broach on it, a red lightning bolt chained to a smaller figure of what looked like a wasp.
If I didn’t already know she was a part of the mafia, she gave it away too easily.
“What are you doing here, Ryujin?” the man turned to the girl and she shrugged.
Ryujin chuckled, looking at me as if I was an object, not an actual living being in front of her, “Wanted to see what kind of person our fearless leader invites into his home. I bet Yunho is glad to be off of grass cutting duty.”
“She hasn’t got the job yet. Inform Yunho not to get too excited.”
“I already am excited!” A large man bustled in through the front door. I don’t think this one got the ‘wear a suit’ notice like the others had. He dressed more like he was ready to join some boy band than anything. The tall man, Yunho, was dressed in baggy blue jeans, a large white top, and a big puffy jacket that had way too many patches to count. He had on this bucket hat that was low on his face, covering most of it.
He was also the first one of them who looked at me like I was an actual person.
“Hi, you must be Estela. I’m Yunho, it’s nice to meet you,” he held out a hand for me to take and I shook it, noticing how his hands were covered in bruises, some fresher than others.
I suppose a normal girl wouldn’t know off rip that these were all ‘Taecyeon’s’ subordinates in his mafia, “Wow, it looks like he has a lot of friends. I am Estela, it’s great to meet you all.”
“Aren’t you cute?” Ryujin cooed, moving to touch my face before I backed away, “Come on, Seonghwa, let’s keep her.”
Ryujin kind of reminded me of Lia with that sentence. Both were alike in the way that when they first saw me, decided to snatch me up right then and there. I was way younger when Lia first saw me, sitting next to my father during a meeting but that didn’t stop the girl from coming up to me after and practically begging me to follow her into her bedroom.
Choi Lia would also not like me letting another woman lay claim to what she deemed ‘hers’. No matter how many times I told her I wasn’t.
I’d rather be dead than belong to anyone.
‘Taecyeon’s’ house was quaint to say the least. Decorated nicely with that I could tell were authentic paintings and bigger than the usual home of a regular person. The house resided on an acre of land so the landscaping job would be big if I were actually planning to do it as a normal landscaper would.
Jeongin’s latest technological design seemed to be weighing in my pocket. Multiple, small black recorders were in my pocket, ready to be placed all around the property. There was no guarantee I would get a chance like this again, and I needed to act on it.
“She’s a person, Ryujin,” the first guy, Seonghwa, shook his head, exhaustion covering his features. More often than not, he reminded me of Yeji and her ever-growing exhaustion. As if just being alive was tiring to them.
“That I am!” I said, forcing a huge smile onto my face, “I am also a person who would like to get started on my work, if I can?”
“Give it a second, I’m waiting on someone to give you a tour of the property like the Boss suggested,” Seonghwa said looking down at his phone, “He apparently doesn’t want me to do it.”
“I can!” Ryujin raised an arm quickly, “I’m not busy right now. I would certainly enjoy the opportunity to escort this pretty thing around.”
Yunho rolled his eyes, “I can do it, Mingi is still looking at his current patient anyway before we head home.”
That sentence caught my interest. Mingi. Song Mingi? Our doctor, huh? I was already well aware of the fact that Mingi worked with other mafias. We allowed him to, it’s not like the man knew any of our secrets. Hell, he didn’t even know that I was the leader, just thought I was another mafia whore that got caught in the mix of violence too many times to count. Of course, we knew Song Mingi’s entire life story. Every move he made was under our radar, especially when we found out he got married a year back to a Yunho. Seems like the name just got a face.
Fuck, that also means I have to avoid Mingi while he is here.
Seonghwa sighed heavily as he stared at his phone, “I suppose that is fine since Lee isn’t answering and neither is Chris. Just as well, Yunho, you know where and where not to take them, get them familiar with where you keep tools if needed. Miss Estela is just using today to quote a price, correct?”
He still barely acknowledged my existence past this. I nodded and Seonghwa kept talking. Something about him made me feel inconsequential.
As Yunho took me around the property, I discreetly placed bug after bug in the around as much as I could. I wish this tour included indoors because I am sure the most gets done there. The best I could do is place one in the bathroom and one on a painting in the mudroom. A couple of the bugs laid in their garage port too. Hopefully, Jeongin could find out something that way.
“I hope this tour was helpful to you in some way,” Yunho walked us back up to the front of the property where my car sat waiting. It was rare days where I drove myself around but it was better on certain days like this one. The matte black SUV sitting idly in the driveway as Yunho walked me to it.
“It was, I think I came up with a quote. Will you relay it to Mr. Lee for me?” I informed him, writing the amount on one of the business cards I kept in my pocket.
“I will be sure to let him know,” Yunho smiled and I had an inkling of an idea that his smile was reminiscent of a sunray. He didn’t smile like everyone else in this business, his smile reached his eyes and filled his face euphorically. Yunho was a genuine person, “It was nice to meet you, Miss Estela.”
“You as well! You’re too sweet,” I smiled back, this time genuinely and I meant it. It was hard not to smile in Yunho’s presence. He made you feel comfortable so easily, way too easily.
I’ll have Jeongin keep an eye out on him too.
“Estela?” We both whipped our heads around to see the good doctor leaving the Lee Residence, Lee himself following him. Song Mingi looked confused but who could blame him. He’s never seen me without Lia or Hongjoong so I’m sure he was more than a little worried, especially seeing me with his husband.
“You know her, love?” Yunho asked but it was ‘Taecyeon’ or Lee, god what do I call this man, who looked as if he questioned it more.
“Yes,” Mingi said with a shrug. “Patient/Doctor confidentiality, babe. Plus, she was the one who provided the flowers for our wedding.”
Oh yeah, I did do that. It was the least I could do when Mingi worked day and night attending to my crew. But, he didn’t know that.
“Really?” If it was possible, Yunho’s smile was even brighter as he turned to me again, “Those arrangements were so beautiful, I ended up saving so many of them. Thank you so much.”
Yunho bowed at that and Lee scoffed at that. Mingi gave him a scathing look, one I didn’t think the kind doctor was capable of. It was interesting seeing this side of him, one so controlled by love.
“Yunho, you are free to take your leave,” Lee “Taecyeon” called out as the pair came closer, “I wanted to discuss some things with Miss Estela before she went off.”
“Yes, sir,” the husbands left without a further word, leaving me alone in the mafia leader’s presence.
“I’m sure you’ve already picked up on just how confidential this landscaping job is,” his smile was reassuring but cold, “My crew isn’t exactly subtle, huh?”
“Maybe if I was dumber.”
“Yet, you didn’t run off? Why is that?”
I suppose a regular girl would have been intimidated by them and run off. I’ll have to keep that noted for next time, “I didn’t say I was smart either.”
I barely knew the man in front of me but his laugh was almost contagious. Strong as he threw his head back and cackled happily. He didn’t bother covering the laugh or not feeling it entirely. It was something to admire.
“Have you ate lunch yet?” he said when he sobered up from laughing.
“It’s like 5 in the evening.”
“Let me make dinner for you then,” he said, leading me into his home again, almost giving me no choice in the matter.
His hands were warm as they grabbed mine, dragging me behind him. They didn’t engulf mine but our hands were the same size. This proximity allowed me to get a proper idea of how sweet he smelled. Egyptian musk and amber and something else.
Something sweet.
He told me to call him Lee. Something about how we’re friends now that he has officially hired me. I hate this name change guessing game. Regardless, Lee was a pretty competent cook, making a traditional meal for us to enjoy. He sat me at one of his island stools that overlooked the kitchen. I got to see him move back and forth in the kitchen, humming every now and again as he cooked. I resigned myself to playing around on my phone as I waited, having already bugged the room as we entered. Jeongin would be proud. I shot out a quick text to tell him the entire place was bugged.
Yang Jeongin replied with some meme.
“How much do you like spicy?” Lee asked me, looking up with a sweet smile as held a bottle over the food hesitantly. He waited patiently for the answer.
“I prefer things that cause me pain,” I replied without thinking, a funny joke that would have caused Hongjoong to agree or Changbin to jokingly reply offering to cause the pain. Lee on the other hand looked as if he swallowed a frog, slowly taking a gulp before pouring the bottle into whatever he was making.
“I also like causing pain,” after a couple of silent moments, he replied with that and I chuckled.
“Kinky, Lee,” I joked and his eyes cut to me, panther like. As if he could pounce at any moment. The thought alone had me on edge, whether in caution or the subtle flirting, I didn’t know anymore.
Even I had to admit how amazingly gorgeous Lee was. His face was absolutely, soul-wrenchingly beautiful. A strong look that made you keep looking and looking. Pretty pink pouty lips with this perfectly angular nose and jawline. High cheekbones that cradled his annoyingly beautiful face. His eyes were cunning and clever but the glow of him didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Here, taste this,” Lee held a spoon out to my mouth, gently cradling a hand underneath the ladle as not to cause any drips. It drug my attention back down to his hands and that weird ring he wore on his finger.
The second I slightly opened my mouth, Lee’s eyes were on mine, watching my mouth encapsulate the spoon. A sweetly pink tongue darted out to wet his lips while I tasted whatever concoction he had made. His eyes were rapt on mine as he watched and all I felt was pliable underneath his gaze. Strong and sensual.
Lee’s eyes strayed to my mouth again. I’m not one to provoke but I do like to entice. Lowering my gaze slowly, making sure Lee was watching as I darted out a tongue, opening my mouth a bit more. My tongue cleaned off the spoon while he watched, his eyes never leaving my mouth. Once the spoon was completely clean, I hummed softly as I stepped back, gingerly taking a finger to rub any remnants off my lips.
“It tastes good.”
Lee’s eyes stayed stuck on my mouth. The spoon clattering onto the counter as the other hand grabbed my wrist, preventing me from stepping back to far. He walked closer to me, instead of pulling me into him. Lee was the one who tipped my head forward to stare into my eyes without a glance at anything else in this room. I heard a small bubble burst as the souce seemed to roll to a boil but the thought was quickly replaced by Lee taking a knuckle and holding my head level to his.
“Do you mind if I taste?” the gentle voice was like harsh winds followed by a cool breeze as he watched my reaction.
I breathed out softly. Never before have I been touched in a way that wasn’t complete swift moves, this was smooth, gentle, “You should always taste what you make.”
Lee’s lips felt so soft over mine. A strong, hand cradled my jaw, his thumb right over my chin as he pulled my head closer. Another hand came over my shoulder, pressing me closer into the kitchen wall as he kissed me. One of his legs, those strong beautiful thighs, came between my legs. My hands seemed to move on their own, pulling him closer and our bodies together.
“Seems you’re forgetting about the food,” I breathed out the second he let me up for breath and Lee rolled his eyes.
“I wanted to taste the sauce, seems like you enjoyed it,” his tongue darted out aga
