#wlw crush

i wonder why i have to look away when you glance at me. i wonder why i have to pretend to be unbothered when we accidentally touch. i wonder why i have to act like i dont care about you even when you’re the only person i want to protect forever.

i thought love doesnt have to be complicated?

i know i should not have fallen in love with you. we will never be together and that your heart belongs to someone else.

but what am i suppose to do when words are stuck in the back of my throat every time you smile at me? what am i suppose to do when my breathing stops whenever you lean in close to me? what am i suppose to do when i feel lightheaded every time you say my name?

and the worst part is that you dont even like girls. you hold so much power over me without even knowing it.

I recently made a joke post on my twitter account about how I was going to marry my crush (I used her name too) thinking she wouldn’t see only to log back in to her having retweeted it. I’m sure she just thinks it’s a joke, but I’m so flustered. I love her so much.

I’m a fool. I’ve fallen hard for a friend. I think about her all the time, check her twitter probably too often, and feel so warm whenever she talks to me. When I’m hanging out with her I do stupid, silly stuff just to get her attention. The problem is that she sees herself as a mentor to me. She’s not much older than me but she’s kind of taken me under her wing, and honestly, I love her being protective of me that it’s made my feelings even strong her. I feel like such a fool: she’s the girl that everyone falls for. People ask her out constantly and she flirts with everyone. She’s been in tons of relationships, and I’ve never even been in one. I wish I could do some Sandy-in-Grease style makeover and shock her by actually turning into someone she could be interested instead of her awkward, childish baby gay. I’d do anything for her.

I had a huge crush on this beautiful girl in college. And I use to get to my morning class early because if I saved her a seat in the second row she would sit there it was like an unspoken agreement between us. I spent the entire class staring at her legs and beautiful brown eyes. When I was feeling bold one night I text her this long message basically confessing my love for her but I never sent it. Thank goodness I didn’t cause she’s super straight.