#i like you

“You know what I like about you and it also drives me nuts, that you never water things down.. like you will tell me how things are, straight up. No games, just tell me exactly how it is.. it simultaneously makes me happy that you don’t try to lie to me and I love that but it also drives me crazy cause you can seem pretty ruthless sometimes but I know you mean well so it’s no harm..”

I love some things about you that I don’t necessarily like if that makes sense.. they are a double edged sword - eUë

I wish I was a radio song, the one that you turned up

Pearl Jam- Wishlist

It’s so weird “I like you” it so kidding so not a big deal but “I love you” that’s something real something big

clairebishop6226:

I’d like to be better at making new friends. I’m often worried that I will be the quietly weird one, not weird in a way that’s enigmatic or entertaining, not weird in a way that stands out; just weird. I think I’ll say something awkward enough for people to remember they’re not really into me but nothing important enough for them to remember what it was I said to make them feel that way. Beyond my insecurity I want to be better at conveying my interest in knowing others completely and intimately, not just a surface-level acquaintance but a lifelong friend, someone who just “is” a part of your life, always is and will be, and exists as a constant. And at the same time, not come on that strong?

I’d like to encourage myself rather than feeling as if self-care and self-direction weren’t important. Whenever I think about doing something good for myself, there is another facet of myself that responds how pointless the activity is. It doesn’t matter what direction the action leans in; if I want to eat salad to be healthier I tell myself it won’t make a difference, if I want to eat a hot load of fries covered in gravy to feel comforted I end up telling myself I shouldn’t fall into a trend of poor-eating. If I want to take a walk and see some flowers I tell myself I have chores to do; if I want to do chores I tell myself there’s going to just be another mess later anyway. Life goes on, I don’t know why I can’t let myself have the choices that make me happy - if the reason I stop myself is “because nothing matters”, then it should follow that I have no reason to stop myself.

I like feeling appreciated and trusted; when someone says they love or care about me, I’d like to believe it. It could be a lie, or it could change over time, but I don’t have any control over whether or not they truly care. If I try to constantly create safety nets for myself in case I lose them and feel lost, I end up spending a lot of time just making some pretty shitty nets I’ll never use.

I like the spring, I would like to get better at seeing it, being in it.

I like poetry, I should remember to indulge in it when I can.

How do boys ask boys that they’re interested in to hang out without making it seem as if they’re interested, but still maintaining the idea that one would totally be cool with it if the other one was interested as well?

July 18, 2019

Hey, I know it’s been 2 year but I’m back and somewhat better. I’m not with my toxic ex anymore so hey that’s a plus. Hmm what else? Oh! I have a new boyfriend. Yeah, but he bores me. Plus he’s into some girl we went to school with. He’s OBSESSED with her. When I first met him all he did was talk about her and how beautiful she is. I’d have to admit she is beautiful but she’s not my type. But my boyfriend is in love with her.

Speaking of in love, my boyfriend has a friend. I’m kinda into him. And by kinda I mean I’m CAPTIVATED by him. After I met him something in my gut told me I was with the wrong friend. Ha! How crazy is that? This friend and I have so much in common. It’s like we are on the same mindwave. When I met him I had this connection with him that I can’t exactly explain. Lol but we we’re also high, and starred at each other for what felt like an hour. (maybe it was just 3 to 5 minutes) Anywho, we would..(we as in my boyfriend and I).. go out to the bars and we would invite him. He once touched my butt once. Not going to lie I kinda LOVED it even if it was an honest mistake.

I can’t get him out of my head and I don’t know why! I need to figure out what to do.

how can i not be in love with you when your presence alone can light up my whole mood? how can i not be in love with you when you treat me better than anyone ever could? how can i not be in love when your simple laugh makes my knees weak and brain dizzy? how can i not be in love with you when you saved my life? i must be really stupid if i ever fall out of love with you. the only time i’ll ever stop being in love with you is the day i die.

you make me want to do all the right things. im losing interest talking to other people or be in places you’re not around. i find staying up late boring since you sleep early. i constantly wonder what you’re doing or who you’re with. is this what its like to be in love?

lets take our time exploring each other a bit more, as we got all the time in the world to spend together. even if i die tomorrow, im grateful that i can spend my last seconds being yours and only yours. you’re my safe haven, my comfort zone and my shoulder to lean on. i hope you feel the same way about me too.

i didnt fall in love with her because she was pretty, though she was beautiful.

i fell in love with her because of the way she made me feel. it caught me off guard and never have i imagined you’d be the girl i would fall for.

and i never thought you’d fell for me too.

i fell in love with her because she made me fell in love with myself as well.

and i think thats the beauty of love.

why do we even bother playing games? what if i dont want to act cold towards you in hopes of you noticing me? can i just be obvious with my feelings? im so tired of games.

you’re constantly on my mind and often i wonder if we ever think of each other at the same time.

im curious about what made you you. im curious about your taste in music. im curious about the way your mind thinks. im curious about how your body likes to be touched. im curious about your late night thoughts and how they make you feel. im curious about every single thing about you.

i wonder why i have to look away when you glance at me. i wonder why i have to pretend to be unbothered when we accidentally touch. i wonder why i have to act like i dont care about you even when you’re the only person i want to protect forever.

i thought love doesnt have to be complicated?

i know i should not have fallen in love with you. we will never be together and that your heart belongs to someone else.

but what am i suppose to do when words are stuck in the back of my throat every time you smile at me? what am i suppose to do when my breathing stops whenever you lean in close to me? what am i suppose to do when i feel lightheaded every time you say my name?

and the worst part is that you dont even like girls. you hold so much power over me without even knowing it.

I’ll never let you go, five words you’ll never say. Look around I’m fine. I’m lucky. I have a place to sleep. I have food. I have people that love me. Or so they say. The frustration. The loneliness. Am I lucky? I’m fine. Or so I say. I hate you. They are alright. Can’t stand these people. Let’s go out. You’re brave. I’m scared. I try. Pretend everything is gonna be fine. I wanna throw up. For a second you make me forget my world. And I feel like I like you. I don’t like them. They make me feel myself. I like you.

Remember, being yourself is the only way to find out who truly cares and loves you for you.

Why does your laugh

Do so much to me.

I don’t care what your math[s] teacher taught you, “I like you” and “I don’t dislike you” mean two different things.

This is the hill…