#write-it-motherfuckers
Person A: “This plan is stupid.”
Person B: “Yes, but unfortunately stupid is all we’ve got.”
Person A: “Am I the only one who feels like this isn’t actually a gameanymore?”
Person B: “Honestly, I’m starting to doubt it ever was.”
Person A: “We’re going about this all the wrong way, aren’t we?”
Person B: “I believe we are, yes.”
Person A: “….Should we scrap everything and take it from the top?”
Person B: “I don’t think we have any other choice.”
Person A: “….Uhh….I’m pretty sure that’s meant to stay on the inside.”
Person B: “How the hell are you still standing?!”
Person A: “Honestly, your guess is as good as mine.”
Person A: “So, what are youin for, pipsqueak? Shoplifting from the toy store? Saying a bad word in front of a police officer?“
Person B: “I tortured and killed my parents, then burned down the building they were in, alongside several of their unconscious lackeys.”
Person A: “….oh.”
Person A: “Seems a little excessive, don’t you think?”
Person B: "Let’s see if you still think that afteryou’ve seen what we’re up against.”
Person A: “Happy birthday! Is there anything you want as a gift?”
Person B: “Oh, thank you, but no, spending time with you is more than enough. Honestly, I’m just glad you didn’t dump another surprise party on me this year.”
Person A: “Of course, no surprise party this year! Just you and me all by ourselves!…. On an unrelated note, lets eat dinner out tonight, my treat!”
Person A: “You killed them, didn’t you?”
Person B: “I did…. Are you not going to ask why?”
Person A: “….I’m pretty sure I already know.”
Person A: “what…. what’s happening?”
Person B: “Shhh sweetie, don’t worry, everything’s going to be ok…. just…. keep your eyes closed for me, ok?”
Person A: “What the hell are they eating?”
Person B: “It’s…. probably best you don’tknow.”
Person A: “Did you block my number again?”
Person B: “I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t keep sending me random emojis every few minutes, while I was trying to fucking sleep.”
Person A: “Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but I fail to understand the reasoning behind your actions… you could have avoided allof this…”
Person B: “Not without risking your lives, and despite what you all seem to think, that has neverbeen, and never willbe, an acceptable option.”
Person A: “Uh…. Your cat is on fire.”
Person B: “Yeah, it does that.”
Person A: “Like…. Regularly?”
Person B: “Well, mostly on Fridays, but today’s the day that my dad’s coming to visit, so they’re a little excited.”
Person A: “Why did you stop? Aren’t you going to kill me too?”
Person B: “I…. I don’t know…. I don’t think I can.”
Person A: “This is…. nice…”
Person B: “Pfft, it’s ok, you don’t have to lie. I know this place is horrible, but unfortunately I don’t actually have any other options. For the moment, this is home.”
Person A: “….Well this is quite awkward.”
Person B: “You’ve tried to murder all of us at leastonce, at some point or another, what the fuck were you expecting? Flowers and a hug?”
Person A: “I can’t believe you went through with that, I wasjoking!”
Person B: “You really should know better than to give me a challenge and not prepare for the consequences by now…. Mind handing me a towel?”
Person A: “Alright, what did they do this time?”
Person B: “They were saying horrible things about you! I couldn’t just do nothing!”
Person A: “Yeah, them and just about everyone else in this place, it’s nothing I’m not use to, they’ve been doing it since longbefore you came here…. Look, I know you mean well, but you really have to stop, or you’re going to get us both in trouble.”
Person A: “You wont get away with this! When they find me, they’ll make you payfor what you’ve done!”
Person B: “Oh don’t worry, once I’m done with you, there won’t be anything left for them tofind.”
Person A: “Well that went to shit a lot faster than I expected.”
Person B: “Youknewthis would happen?!”
Person A: “Of course, did you really expect (Person C) to play nice with those moronic amateurs for long? Besides, the moment they made that comment about (Person D), they went from mild annoyances, to putting themselves right at the top of (Person C)’s shit-list. Either way, they were never going to make it out of this building alive.”
Person A: “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Are you insane?!”
Person B: “I thought we already established that?”
Person A: “Take. It. Off.”
Person B: “No.”
Person A: “I’m serious, you have no idea what that thing can do, and you do notwant to find out.”
Person A: “….Is…Is that real?”
Person B: “I mean, it feels pretty fucking real…. Pleasedon’t do that again.”
Person A: “There’s a demon sitting in your bathtub.”
Person B: “Oh that’s just Bob, don’t worry, he’s chill.”
Peter: Is Mr Barnes always this…. Murderous? Or did something happen?
Sam: I mean, he’s not really a sunshine and smiles kinda person, but he’s definitely on the war path today. Apparently some idiot made Stark sad.
Person A: “Happy birthday! Is there anything you want as a gift?”
Person B: “Oh, thank you, but no, spending time with you is more than enough. Honestly, I’m just glad you didn’t dump another surprise party on me this year.”
Person A: “Of course, no surprise party this year! Just you and me all by ourselves!…. On an unrelated note, lets eat dinner out tonight, my treat!”
