Me culture

Is laying in bed wondering if I actually have anxiety attacks or not because they don’t fit the usual description of one and then wanting to bang my head on my wall for the mess i made inside my mind :)

My lonlieness and anxiety get so unbarable at night. I wish that I can just fall asleep in less than an hour. If I knew that sleep was going to soon take this pain away, I will be able to bare it until then….but when I lay in bed, not knowing if I’m going to fall asleep by the crack of dawn or after the sun rises, I panic. I get over whelmed with fear and sadness knowing that I’m going to have to live through an entire night of emotional pain again. It’s currently 11:34pm and I’m already afraid.

Me:[waiting for my order]

Worker:[yells my order number but forgets my cookie]

Me:“he’s probably going to get it soon”

Anxiety:“but what if he forgot? Or what if you didn’t order one? And your just standing there looking stupid waiting for nothing?

Anxiety:"your gunna be so humiliated if you ask where your cookie is and they say you didn’t order one!

Anxiety:"you’ve been awkwardly standing there for over a minute already, it’s been too long, just go.

Me:"I can just ask if they forgot my cookie”

Anxiety:“no I’m not going to let you embarrass yourself”

Worker:“are you waiting for another order?”

Anxiety:“GET OUT OF THERE”

Me:“no, I was just leaving”

that’s how anxiety can ruin and make you overthink the most simplest things…I just wanted a fucking cookie :(

Whenever I’m having a anxiety attack, I find myself scrolling through posts without actually reading them because I’m too busy freaking out inside my mind.