#this is depressing
Kurva magányos vagyok
“…You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end…”
ABBA
Ich ließ nie wieder jemand nah genug - um meine Welt zu vernichten, in einem Atemzug.
Alle meine Gefühle habe ich unterdrückt.
Weil ich dachte, es wird leichter wenn da nichts mehr ist. Wenn jeder Stich ins Herz, ins Leere trifft.
I just need a deep rest from myself, I wanna disappear from the face of the earth.
as IP gradually moves into the public domain, we should expect to see a new breed of horror that’s based on those early 2010s copypastas that were like “the kids from ed edd n eddy are all in purgatory, which is why we never see their parents” in the 2080s
I hide behind a smile because when I do frown no-one cares
Día 109 de 365
Puedo sentir el peso de mi depresión en el cuerpo, duelen los huesos, me siento fatigada, adolorida, cansada, siento no poder más…
Me:[waiting for my order]
Worker:[yells my order number but forgets my cookie]
Me:“he’s probably going to get it soon”
Anxiety:“but what if he forgot? Or what if you didn’t order one? And your just standing there looking stupid waiting for nothing?
Anxiety:"your gunna be so humiliated if you ask where your cookie is and they say you didn’t order one!
Anxiety:"you’ve been awkwardly standing there for over a minute already, it’s been too long, just go.
Me:"I can just ask if they forgot my cookie”
Anxiety:“no I’m not going to let you embarrass yourself”
Worker:“are you waiting for another order?”
Anxiety:“GET OUT OF THERE”
Me:“no, I was just leaving”
that’s how anxiety can ruin and make you overthink the most simplest things…I just wanted a fucking cookie :(
Why do the little things break me but when I’m experiencing a traumatic event, it’s like a normal thing?
Does the pain ever get so bad that words can’t even describe what it’s doing to your mind?
I just want all of this to end…
Maybe I’m not invisible, maybe I’m excruciatingly visible and just completely ignored.
So many people said I wasn’t alone but where were they when I needed someone?
