#aspergers

Am I talking too much? Am I not talking enough? Have I remembered to ask about them? What if I monopolized the conversation again? Did I interrupt? Have they lost interest?

Despite the possessive phrasing, this is kind of a painfully frequent experience.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Has anyone learned this secret? If so please share…

What I decided to do about my diagnosis…

https://autisminwomen.com/2017/04/24/autistic-thumbs/

Not knowing what volume or inflection to use, but your default isn’t working

hashtagld:

One day I hope people get this.

I wish people’s comments didn’t get to me so much.

I wanna talk about unhelpful stims. The stims which maybe aren’t so okay because they end up hurting you. Whenever I am anxious or overwhelmed I will find myself automatically doing this until my thumb is bleeding which is normally what alerts me to the fact I’m doing it. I'm working on ways to replace this stim. 

What I often see is arguments against stimming which emphasise that stimming is bad because of ones like this. What’s more important to understand is that stimming in healthy ways stops me from getting to the point where I end up uncontrollably stimming in ways like this as often. Sensory overload is going to happen but harmless stimming reduces how often it occurs. 

Stimming is healthy and important. If you have a damaging stim you can work on switching it but please don’t feel like you need to stop stimming.

I’ve realised since moving out, autistic people are expected to make themselves like others. I am expected to devote my life to mimicking neurotypicals in every way possible. I am expected to live as a defective neurotypical person, always striving to blend in. 

Then it occured to me… why can’t I live as a perfectly fine autistic person? Why can’t I spend my energy being me and living my own life in my own way? What is so wrong with actually just being myself? 

I’m not going to live as a faulty version of a ‘normal’ person anymore. My brain is different but that does not make it wrong.

Love your brain and love yourself and your perspective of the world ♡ 

Sometimes I wanna rock and flap, other times I can be so perfectly still.

It’s so peaceful.

(Sorry for the hiatus I have just moved out to uni!)

Not all the time I’ve of course learnt some of the common phrases and have some application of context, but still far more than I should.

This is my anxious but trying to be subtle stim. I hold one hand in the other and using my thumb on my palm push up hard toward the base of my thumb repeatedly

My life is like a slightly off lipsync on the tv. I am so close to being right but I’m never quite there.

I always seem to find my arms drifting back into the ’t-rex’ position!

I promise. Maybe you haven’t found them yet but they are out there. Of that I am 100% certain.

I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. 

It’s just how it is, how it always has been and always will be.

It’s just different.

The horrible moment when someone else’s stimming is sending you into meltdown but you want to be polite and respectful toward their needs.

A personal stim of mine is rubbing my little finger with my thumb.

Love your stims, big or small, common or unique, they’re yours and they’re awesome.

(Im trying out some new drawing software… what do you think?)