#avengers incorrect quotes
Loki: *laying face-down on the bed*
Peter Parker: Hey Mr Loki, are you okay?
Loki: *muffled* I just need a bit of a break from everything…
Loki: Including existing
Peter Parker: Alright, if that’s what you want.
Peter Parker: *plops face-down on the sofa next to Loki’s bed*
Loki: *looks up in confusion* What are you doing?
Peter Parker: *looks up at Loki* I’m taking a break from existing with you :)
Loki: *smiling softly* Thank you Spiderling :)
[Both of them lay face down in silence until Loki feels better]
Peter Parker: [comes home looking sad]
Loki: I WILL DESTROY EVERY ASPECT OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE AND BURN WHATEVER REMAINS TO ASH IN ORDER TO BE SURE I ERADICATED WHATEVER HURT YOU…
Peter Parker: Can… I have a hug?
Loki, already hugging Peter: Oh, of course.
Peter Parker: Why is life so hard, Mr Loki?
Loki, comforting Peter: Don’t worry Spiderling, I know that this all seems unfair now.
Loki: But someday when you’re older and wiser, you’ll be able to look back on all this…
Loki: And get revenge
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you come to school with me tomorrow?
Loki: Why? What happened?
Peter Parker: I have an assignment to bring something important to me to school and I was hoping if you’ll go.
Loki, happily crying and hugging Peter: You’re important to me too Spiderchild!
Thor: Loki, can you…?
Loki:No
Thor: *walks out of the room and walks back in with Peter*
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you…? :D
Loki: Yes, of course sweet Spiderchild :)
Thor, sighing : … Really, Brother?
Loki: We’ll what did you expect, Thor?
Loki: How can I possibly say no to the Spiderchild’s adorable face!?
Peter Parker:*whimpering*
Loki: What happened!? Who did this to you!?
Peter Parker: Oh it’s nothing, Mr Loki. I just stubbed my toe on the door-
Loki: *already has a chainsaw* Which door?
Loki: Spiderling, what did I tell you about lying?
Peter Parker: To do it more often.
Loki: Exactly! I’m so proud of you!
Peter Parker, walking with Loki at the zoo: Let’s do something fun together, Mr Loki!
Loki, smiling: Very well, lead the way.
Peter Parker : Oh! How about we make some balloon animals?
Loki: Alright, but aren’t you scared of balloons?
Peter Parker : Pfft…no.Why would I be scared of balloons? I’ve fought villains who tried to kill me. These are nothing.
Peter Parker : *tries to tie balloon*
Peter Parker : *balloon pops*
Peter Parker : *unholy screaming*
Peter Parker : *clutches Loki’s arm*
Loki:
Loki, patting Peter on the head comfortingly: Let’s go look at the snakes.
[Loki ended up burning down the balloon stall while Peter was not looking]
Peter Parker: You believe me?
Loki: Spiderling, you’re the last and only good person on this planet. I’d believe you if you said cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
Loki to the Rescue (Loki Helps Peter Parker Stop a Crime)
{A group of teenagers steal some money from the store. Spiderman thought they were just misunderstood so he tries to talk to them nicely to return the money, but they manage to escape while he was distracted. Loki intervenes}
Robber 1: You hit us with a car.
Loki: You hit the car with your bodies.
Loki: Now listen up you brats! The Spiderling is a good person. He believes in the good of people.
Loki: I don’t
Robber 2: M-my body feels cold…
Loki: It’s shutting down.
Loki: My point is, I don’t want my friend to lose his faith in people.
Robber 3: Okay, okay. W-we’ll return the money.
Loki, glares: You hooligans are going to do a lot more than that.
_________________________________________
{Back at the scene of the crime}
Robber 2: After we left, we thought about what you said, and we realized you were right.
Robber 3: Yeah, what we did was wrong.
Peter Parker:Really?
Robber 3:Yes.
Loki: *death glaring at the robbers*
Robber 1, sweating in fear: A-and you were right to see the good in us.
_________________________________________
{Later}
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, did you have something to do with that?
Loki: What? Me? No. Your faith in those low-lives has motivate them to do the right thing.
Loki: Now let’s get some ice-cream, you deserve it :)
Peter Parker::)
Learning How to Drive with Loki, Peter Parker and Steve
{Theory}
Steve: So, you’re driving and Thor and Peter walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Loki: Oh, definitely Thor. I could never hurt the Spiderchild.
Steve, trying not to sigh: The brakes, Loki. You hit the brakes.
_________________________________________
{Responding to Hand Signals}
[after hijacking one of Tony’s cars to prove Steve wrong (obviously bringing Peter along)]
Loki: You see Spiderchild, I’m an amazing driver
[someone on the street flips Loki off]
Loki: I’m going to run him over, don’t tell the Soldier
Peter Parker: MR LOKI NO!
Loki: MR LOKI YES!
_________________________________________
{Reverse Gear}
[after running over the rude pedestrian]
Peter Parker: Is he dead?
Loki:No
Loki: (proceeds to run over the pedestrian again then drives off with Peter)
Peter Parker: Looks like Mr Stark is here so I guess it’s time for me to go. Today’s been fun.
Loki: Indeed it has. I’ve really enjoyed talking to you. You are, and this is no joke, the most well mannered Midgardian I’ve met.
Peter Parker: I really enjoyed talking to you too Mr Loki :)
Loki: One moment, I have something for you. This is a one of my favorite knives. Use it to maim your enemies :)
Peter Parker: Thank you :)
_________________________________________
{Later, on the phone}
Tony: YOU GAVE PETER A KNIFE!?
Loki: Well, it seemed appropriate at the time.
Tony:HOW!?
