#bi discourse

follow my new Instagram account focused on discourse!!

I’d really appreciate some support :))

You’re right, I am a confused bisexual.

I’m confused about how we’ve let our history get stolen, ignored, and redefined.

I’m confused about why our community has let others tell us who we’re supposed to be.

I’m confused about the way we’ve split and distanced ourselves from each other.

We’re all attracted to all genders. We’re all bisexual. Only we can define ourselves, if we so wish, and only we can make our history.

We’ve come so far from the days where the only options were gay or straight. We’ve come so far from the judgement and disbelief of both oppressive cishets and the gay community. We’ve come so far in advancing concepts of gender and trans inclusivity.

Now, there are too many labels encompassed by bisexuality to count. Now, others confining us to misconceptions is acceptable. Now, our trans-inclusive history is being twisted.

We need to remember who we are—bisexuals and biromantics. We need to remember why the LGBT community was formed—to fight lesbophobia, homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia and to achieve equality between all sexualities, romanticisms, and genders/gender statuses. We can’t do this if we’re separated and fighting.

Your bisexuality is not dirty or limited, so don’t you succumb to biphobic lies. Your bisexuality is lovely, it is honest, it is broad, it is inclusive, it is home, and it is what we make it together.

Shout out to the bisexuals out here slutting it up. Shout out to the bisexuals who enjoy threesomes (or foursomes+) and take advantage of those opportunities. Much love to the polyamorous bisexuals and the bisexuals who say they’re bi-curious and those who don’t like sex at all.

Glory be to the trans, gender non-conforming and nonbinary bisexuals. Y'all foine AF.

Hugs to the bisexual+ women/femmes who leave their lesbian partners and eventually end up with male partners and vice versa. Relationships of all orientations end and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for getting out or for moving forward with whomever you please. It’s your life. Fuck their judgment.

Bowing deep to all my black and brown bisexuals who have been shining in every way since humanity was a thing. Sending prayers of protection to all my immigrant and refugee bisexuals, restorative justice to my indigenous bisexuals and two-spirit folks, profound respect and recognition to all the elder bisexuals who got us here, and access to every single differently-abled bisexual on this planet.

Protection and healing to all the closeted bisexuals who feel like they have to use gay, lesbian or straight labels to survive. We’re here for you when and if ever you decide to take the glorious and terrifying leap.

Love to the bisexual+/pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual/asexual/biromantic/aro/fluid/no label/queer/questioning/OMG-I-don’t-know-sexuals just trying to find their way. Shout out to all the bisexuals under the vast bi+ umbrella who feel like a more specific label suits them a little better.

Love and light to the bisexuals who will hold onto their bi+ label and you’ll have to pry it from their cold dead hands. Bi+ is not binary (or transphobic) and pan is not sanctimonious (or transphobic). We are a community and we had better act like one because we can’t win without each other.

Eternal love, familial bonds and transformative wisdom to all the bisexuals out here trying to live our best lives, whether we fit their dusty and falsely monolithic stereotypes at times, or nah. We are more of the queer community than anyone else and our expressions of bisexuality are not always going to look or be the same. That’s ok. Just know that when the bi+ bat signal goes up and the bat phones ring, whatever your label, or lack thereof, we had better show up and show out. For all of us.

miles-thebi:

If you define bisexuality as “an attraction to men and women”, then define pansexuality a “an attraction to men, women, and transgender individuals”, you are using transphobia to support a biphobic idea of bisexuality.

Simple as that.

The transphobia should be obvious; making the distinction between men, women, and transgender individuals invalidates trans men and trans women as ACTUAL men and women. It also places all transgender individuals in this “other” category. Not man, not women, no matter how they identify their gender. Trans women are actual women, not an “other” kind of woman. Trans men are actual men, not an “other” kind of men. Nonbinary people can identify under the terms “men” and “women” if they choose to, and they will still be just as valid as men and women as another individual.

The biphobia may be a little less obvious, however. Bisexuality is not defined as an attraction to cis men and cis women (saying so actually invalidates many bisexual people and aids in the invalidation of actual trans/nonbinary bisexuals), it is defined by the majority of the community as a “attraction to two or more genders or same and different genders”. The act of claiming otherwise (on a community level, not a personal definition level) is erasive and contributes to biphobia within the LGTBQ++ community.

Your argument that “bisexuals are attracted to cis men and cis women” not only invalidates trans men and trans women, and nobinary/trans bisexuals, it results in two very dangerous dynamics in the LGTBQ++ community.

Firstly, it creates tension between the bisexual and transgender/nonbinary communities. Historically, this is a fairly recent tension, as trans activists and bisexual activists often worked hand in hand during the first trans rights movement. This dynamic shreds apart two of some of the closet knit communities, and forces transgender people to identify as labels other than bisexual, else they face a wave of biphobia from their fellow transgender community. Despite this (thankfully), a large amount of transgender individuals identify as bisexual, and have begun doing what they can to end the faulty idea that bisexual is binary.

The second dynamic is constant fighting between the bisexual and pansexual community. Opinions about umbrella term usage aside, these communities have an enormous amount of overlap that requires them to work together to fight ideas of monosexism; a social system that operates on the belief that single gender attraction is the standard, and enforces this by rewarding SGA and punishing MGA. Gay/Lesbian monosexism operates in a different environment than hetero monosexism, but both cause strife towards the MGA communities.

These dynamics are reinforced daily by all members of the LGBTQ++ that continue to allow the bisexual definition of “attraction to cis men and cis women” to spread and be taken as the real definition. Until the rest of the LGBTQ++ gets on board and begins to allow bisexuals to define their community, and their individual forms of attraction, we will not be able to heal the fracturing relationships between BT and P.

bisexual-community:

miles-thebi:

Tips to Be Queer Enough to Deserve to go to Pride

Often, there is a pressure in LGBTQIAP+ spaces to fit into a “queer” mold. While many G&L individuals don’t experiences this pressure, those with the ability to be attracted to a gender other than their own do. This pressure leads a lot of bisexual, pansexual,  and asexual people feeling like they don’t belong in Pride events, especially with their different-gender partner by their side. When we…

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Q: How to be “Queer Enough” to “Deserve” to go to Pride?
A: Be Queer!

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and always remember that all sorts of LGBT people were actively were involved in the Stonewall Riots, then all working together immediately started organizing new, more radical, activist, LGBT+ Liberation Groups (x)(x)(x)(x) and that it was in fact a young, radical, progressive, feminist, Bisexual+ Woman who first conceived of and then chaired the committee that organized the 1st Pride Marches and Festivals that we we now continue to celebrate worldwide every June

biandboujeee:

I am seeking participants for a research study on the challenges (biphobia in particular) that bi+ women experience while participating in LGBTQ activism on campus. 

Anyone who… 

1. identifies as a woman to some degree who also experiences attraction to more than one gender (including but not limited to: bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, queer, fluid),
   
2. is a current undergraduate student (or recent graduate) who is (or has been) involved in at least one LGBTQ student organization on campus, 
   
3. and is interested in sharing their experiences 
   

…is encouraged to fill out this brief survey to be eligible to be interviewed!

bisexualbertmccracken:

yknow, obviously there’s nothing wrong with someone who doesn’t wanna put a label to their sexuality, cause yknow people like different things and theres nothing bad abt someone not liking labels

but, the fact that almost every single character thats into multiple genders says that they just “dont like labels” or something along those lines is blatant biphobia

like, if it was one or two characters, then i wouldnt bat an eye, but considering its a trend for people to make their bi-coded character just “not like labels” is super fucking transparent

bisexual is not a bad thing, bisexual is not a dirty word, and it fucking sucks that 9/10 bisexual characters never actually call themselves bisexual

like, the only times i can think of characters who outright call themselves bisexual, is Darryl from Crazy Ex Girlfriend and like… there probably is more characters… but its pretty obvious that popular media thinks that bisexuality is a bad word, a taboo thing that must never, ever be stated

and i dunno about yall, but im fucking sick of my sexuality never being portrayed in a good light, im sick of seeing so few characters actually calling themselves bisexual, im sick of having so many bi woman characters just being hypersexualized and used to please men (i.e. having a bi girl whos bisexuality is only there for the male gaze), and im just sick of how people constantly portray ny sexuality

Bisexuality isnt bad and being bisexual is awesome, even if the media constantly tries to erase us or show us as awful

sorrynotsorrybi:

why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of pansexuality or polysexuality or other multisexual identities??

there are over 50 words that are synonyms for beautiful (or have similar but slightly different definitions/uses), but we don’t go around policing people for using words like stunning or gorgeous because “people might get confused and what you really mean is beautiful” 

bisexual-community:

stardustflake:

i need to make a post about this because it’s really bothering me.

bisexuality = the attraction to more than one gender, or the attraction to two or more genders, or the attraction to genders same as and other than your own

pansexuality = the attraction to all genders or the attraction to people regardless of their sex and gender identity

bisexuality is not defined as the attraction to men and women. bisexuality does not exclude other genders. bisexuals aren’t any less open-minded and accepting than pansexuals or anyone else in the lgbtq+ community. bisexuality is a sexuality, not a way to reinforce the gender binary.

many people seem to think that bisexuals aren’t aware of non-binary people or that they think there are only two genders.

this is because

1. the term bisexual is older than the term pansexual, and at the time the word bisexual was first introduced, it was defined as the attraction to males and females, because the term non-binary wasn’t something people were aware of. fortunately, many people today understand what gender binary and non-binary mean and because of this, the definition and meaning of bisexuality have evolved. saying bisexuals are only attracted to men and women is the old way of thinking.

2.biinbisexualmeanstwo, and people always like to rely on this and say that it literally means two, as in men and women. if you really have to use this as an argument, the two you’re referring to means same as your own genderandother than your own gender. that makes two groups without excluding any genders.

3. pansexuality is always thought of as the gender-blind label that includes everyone whereas bisexuality is seen as only including men and women, boys and girls, males and females. which, like i said, is not true, so please destroy this way of thinking. it’s not helping anyone.

you can identify as both bisexual and pansexual. you can identify as bisexual but feel like the word pansexual could also describe your sexuality accurately. you can identify only as pansexual. 

the difference between these two is slight but it’s there. so maybe instead of trying to tell others what their own sexualities are supposed to mean to them or what they should identify as, give everyone the freedom to identify themselves however way they feel is right for them. especially people who are neither bisexual nor pansexual can stfu and stop defining our sexualities for us thank you.

Bisexual+ is a Community Identity Label (like Lesbian, Gay, SGL, even Straight). Many bisexual+ & biromantic+ people also use Personal Identity Labels that serve a vital function in describing differences while giving each individual non-monosexual person a space to be unique.  These can include (but are never be limited to): ambi, flexi, fluid, heteroflexible/homoflexible, multi, no labels, omni, pan, poly, pomo, queer, sapio, and so many more.

“Bisexual or Pansexual?” must be understood as the Bisexual+ Community’s equivalent to internal community conversations many Gay and Lesbian people have regarding their own personal approaches to identification (e.g. masc, butch, twink, femme, scene, AG, bear, queen, etc.). 

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Allies stop using the internal conversation between members of the Bi+ Community about how each community member individually choses to personally identify to try and reclassify non-mono people into separate, groups.  Your cynical practice of creating, encouraging and using these so-called “label wars” as a rationale for not funding, including, hiring and serving the needs of the Bisexual+ Community has to end immediately.  Stop trampling Bi+ People into the ground in your headlong scramble for respectability and the almighty dollar. You are costing the lives of your fellow LGBT+ people. 

Bi+ People listen to yourselves. Stop being drawn into cliques, snobbishness and“town vs gown” bickering. Do you really think that somehow those with less monetary and educational advantages are automatically less intelligent or socially aware?  Consider the source when you accept or worse pass on embarrassingly false gossip that some bi-queer academic of Jewish extraction “invented” this or that wording/idea to “make money”. Stop and think of what you are really saying if you find yourselves snickering over someone using a different bi+ label as being “ghetto”or “project”.  

Ask yourself, why do you so unquestioningly accept what some frequently straight, usually white and western, mostly cis, largely heteronormative self-proclaimed expert says over what your own well-respected trans, genderqueer, enby, ace, intersex and cis Bi+ Community thought leaders have been saying for decades now?

I’m talking about all the queer people who keep forcing us to be hostile towards others mspec. I don’t really like that, so pls if that’s not your case then this meme ain’t talking about u ☘️☘️☘️☘️

Let’s not make war, but love instead ✨