#books and poetry

Mondays keep coming

Even when the darling buds reopen

Per Shakespeare’s sonnet

Doomsday headlines hot off the press

Overdue library books stacking up

Forget-me-nots get pulverized

I wonder why I wonder so much

When it all seems a waste

I could close my eyes in a deep sleep

Alas I always eventually wake

Still there’s a break in drifting dreams

Interlinked

Traversing my walls

Taking tender steps yet

Sure-footed steady as you go

Putting me perfectly at ease

Laid-back onlooking between relaxed blinks

Of crinkled eyes, thinking with a satisfied

Sigh that this feels oh so right

As stoniness buckles under

The gentle sway of thoughtful touch

Bringing joyfully energizing

Vim and vigor to my days

Turning up the heat at night

Until we burst into flames

Fireworks colorfully lighting up the sky

Fourth of July has nothing

On our pyrotechnics display

Then we fumble drowsily sweet

Into dreamy gratified sleep

Reaching out for each other

Circuit complete

Redress

Dug out that dress–you know the one

I wore when we met, all eyeleted sunflowers

Swore I looked approachably sweet

Yet had your heart racing uncontrollably

Je ne sais quoi to buck the quotidian

An enchanting chance encounter

If only you unearthed the woman beneath

Took a dip beyond the shallow end

Peered past the Sunday-in-bed appeal

So I slip it on for me now, a better fit

More oomph than you’d know what to do with

I fell asleep and into your arms

Lying there luxuriating in bed

In each other; raptly willing to watch those eyes

–More than anything any app could stream–

Surface rippling rivetingly

Intimating all that teems beneath

Yet somehow riveted on me

Heart-racing soul-stirring

Embracing as the flame burns hotter

Stroking innocently until the intent

Gains in momentum, in urgency

Only we’re not alone, witnesses surround

So we furtively glance around tickling

Ears with our murmurings

Plotting to sneak away…our stares

And sighs asking, why wait?

They matter too but not as much

As we do, as our untamable

Urges do, at this moment

If this be no more than a one-time

Wonderful dream detour

Another almost–but a bittersweet

Tantalizing taste

Would it be better preserved

That way or a crying shame waste?

Will I ever even have a say

When awake?

Don’t mean to be crude

Or intrude but I can’t keep it in

Can’t quit thinking of you

Your eyes mesmerize my days

So how could they not pierce

Through gauzy nights?

Emblazoned pleasingly on the inside

Of mine shut tight an enticing interlude

Until we can resume our intense

Contact–where my cloudy blues

Can marvel at your velvety browns

And all they exude: soulful

Yet with an unmistakable impish

Sheen irresistible a charming prelude

To danger but of the best kind

Usually play it safe now don’t mind diving

Head first to find what goes on behind

The humor, insight, even deepest

Channels of your mind…until then

Fantasizing in the dark

Your eyes the spark leading

Me breathlessly to a rendezvous

With the arresting

Rest of you

I dreamt you

No you’re real

Still I don’t know you well

Most especially not the way you came

To me in my dream state

How to put into words something

So no-holds-barred passionate

Frenzy escalating at a just-right rate?

Pulsating with need, freed from

Everyday brain-numbing constraints

Delirious yet decidedly lucid

Abrading yet making every ache better

Via ecstatic escapades; exhaltations

In every exhalation escaping trembling

Lips loosened easily–volume rising

With each vibration from you to me

Enough to quake me awake wondering

Why you and why in this unexpected way

Is my subconscious playing dirty

Tricks on me? If I go to bed

And you meet me there

Another go-round would be

Icing on the cake

You returned to me

Recently in a dream

Wearing endearing earnestness

Smile like a secret let out

Wistfully asking me to remember you…

As if I could ever forget…

Even when I want to. Like trying to sleep

Through the night without waking

Again with you nowhere known

To me, alone; you long moved on

Within me daily wars are waged

Against your memory

I’ve lost yet another round

Even reminders of the good times

Bring stinging tears to my eyes so why

Would I want to remember anything?

Maybe one day I will get to a place

Where I can behold a sunny day

And not see your face (making mine

Wet with drops of pain) and perhaps

Not question if it was all a bad mistake

But this heart needs more time to heal

From decimated dreams that once felt

Oh so real…reality still the chill

Churning through my veins

I try in vain to shake

Bridging the gap

At Making-a Pass

Between a rock and a hard place

“Accidentally” landing

In this lap…not another tourist

Trap…want me to scratch

Your back or whichever

Itch within reach?

Is there an app for that?

Apparently. Still your eye wanders to me

Well if you’d look closely

Surely see baggage needing

To be unpacked and sorted

Folded flat, nice and compact

So strap on in; disregard the crammed

Luggage rack–heaven forbid anything

Distract from your single-

Minded track

What makes you think I want your body

On mine just because I show any of it?

Whichever parts seem to speak to yours

They aren’t seeking you out

Not asking for whatever you’ve got

Respectful compliments are fine

So long as they don’t cross the line–oh

You know, detailing all the ways

You’re oh so certain to make me writhe

Don’t slide into my dm’s just to talk about

Sliding in between my presumed milky

Thighs, nor mount a sales pitch to buy

Anything from or for me

You can claim to be a nice guy

For inquiring permission to self-gratify

Don’t flatter yourself, stop stroking

Your ego by believing I’d be flattered

So out of touch, is it too much

To not be sexualized for simply

Somewhat revealing below the face

Stop fixating on what’s situated

Below the waist and instead ask yourself

Why you behave this way

Forget me good

Moving on never looked

So easy, stuck that landing

Without skipping any beats

Simply beating a swift retreat

Now don’t get me wrong again

I want you to be happy…just couldn’t

It hurt a little first cause God knows

I do? Don’t know where to keep

It all and this lingering foolish love

North wind whistles through

Gloomy gaps seething cracks

Of my heart sounding like lost sleep

Dreams trampled dull as dust

Shouldn’t have let down my guard

For so long. Who was I to think

I deserved the promise in your eyes

Professed with a pleasing tongue?

How could I expect to ever be enough

Yet not see all the ways I am too much?

All I wanted was an always

No matter what I think you know

You’ll always have my love

I never until now wished it wasn’t so

Perhaps that’s the first step to

Letting go

Prompted by @abiblicalsasquatch:adivorce

Madness (Party of One)

I sat with myself

Then got up and left

In the middle of a row

Wouldn’t you know it? Me, myself, and I

Don’t see eye to eye…to eye…anymore

Not in eons of time since

The voices inside started picking

Fights claiming to know best

Be my guest, petty pretty ones

Go undercover. No more lackluster

Lovers leaving afterthought calling

Cards by disconnected phones

Cords cut on the bias

Another flight risk; wrists bound

Can’t wriggle out, no wiggle room

If only I could see me now

Got myself in deep somehow

Inspired by a prompt provided by @definegodliness

Settle down and set your mind

On those who don’t mind the asinine

Antics, play to the ones who want

Whatever rubbish you fling around

Like Oscar the Grouch on speed

Don’t need my reaction or to pick

My brain about anything relating

To you…or anything else for that matter.

Perplexing how she doesn’t make

The connection, too blinded by her own

Obsession to see the disturbing

Absurdity; surprised the hotheaded

Jealousy queen isn’t demanding

No alluding to me in her company

Let alone not to beg for scraps

Of my attention so blatantly.

No it is taken out on me.

Mr. Look-Ma-No-Hands-Geometry

Once again getting off scot-

Free to try wrangling up a triangle

Obtuse scalene obscene.

– All you’ll get from me is this poem you will never read

Grabby grasping

Gotcha gasping shared

Air, heavy breathing in time

Sweat beading on brows raised

Gazing down on one kneeling

Aquiver in quiet anticipation

Hands snaking their winding way

Lips clamoring for a climactic taste

Savoring like they have starved

Until this delicious moment

Deep dish best served

Steaming hot

Shaken and stirred and

Slammed on the rocks

Diligent derring-doer

Don’t stop

Game Night

Play with me

In ways only you know how

Tickle my fancies first delicately

Then in ever upping urgency

Stretched out before you

Twister for two

Stripping off layers each turn

Connect the dots; search out

And push every erogenous zone

Won’t pass go until you

Say so…x’s and o’s

Three (or more) in a row

You make me lose count

The amount and vehemence

Mount as we melt

Into mind-melding bliss

Yes both of us win

When we wager like this

Guide these trembling hands

Until they’re intrepid explorers

Discovering every delicious

Plot twist, kiss every part

Exposed and uncover the rest

Caress and coax with fluid

Moves flowing naturally

I want all of you

Beside me, on me

Inside me let you

Under this skin

Scratching every itch

Far beyond the surface

Make me wriggle with ecstasy

Take my breath, breathe it

Back with tingly heat

Give it to me, come with me

Tease until we break exquisitely

Each other’s release

Grinding, riding

An explosive hide and seek

This is why dreams can be such dangerous things: they smolder on like a fire does, and sometimes they consume us completely.

Memoirs of A Geisha, Arthur Golden

Silence, I discover, is something you can actually hear.

Kafka on the Shore,Haruki Murakami

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)

Leaves of Grass,Walt Whitman

That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.

Sylvia Plath

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?

Ernest Hemingway

You once told me that the human eye is god’s loneliest creation. How so much of the world passes through the pupil and still it holds nothing. The eye, alone in its socket, doesn’t even know there’s another one, just like it, an inch away, just as hungry, as empty.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous,Ocean Vuong

Isolation offered its own form of companionship: the reliable silence of her rooms, the steadfast tranquility of the evenings. The promise that she would find things where she put them, that there would be no interruption, no surprise. It greeted her at the end of each day and lay still with her at night.

The Lowland,Jhumpa Lahiri

I am thinking of beauty again, how some things are hunted because we have deemed them beautiful. If, relative to the history of our planet, an individual life is so short, a blink, as they say, then to be gorgeous, even from the day you’re born to the day you die, is to be gorgeous only briefly.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous,Ocean Vuong

scandireader:

white candles, white snow, white skies