#broken marriage

“I was supposed to fall in love with you & you were meant to break my heart. You see, I fell for you even before you gave me any reason to — I started adoring your eyes & your voice became my favourite sound. I know nothing about you yet your name started to bring smile to my face. I started to want you in all blunt ways — didn’t think what would happen, couldn’t care less. Little did I know that you came to me as a lesson & I lost it all before I could have anything. I didn’t fall in love with you because universe conspired us to meet or our souls knew each other. I was cursed to love you & my heart was doomed to break, for all the souls I wrecked, all the eyes that wept & all those emotions I didn’t care about. I had broken hearts — perhaps, that’s why our paths had to cross so I could feel what I’d done to other. Now, I know we’re not meant to be yet I want you to know that you’re one of the most beautiful things I ever felt.” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— cursed love

لا أستطيع أن أفعل شيئًا سوى الصلاة لأن قلبي يعلم أنه ليس من المفترض أن نكون كذلك

I can do nothing but pray because my heart knows we’re not meant to be.

— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

“Sometimes, you lose people. People who promised to stay — walk away, right infront of your eyes and there’s nothing you could do about it. As much as you hold onto them, it hurts until you let go. And you lose yourself along with them. Sometimes, you lose people and they say, it’s for good. Sometimes, you lose people you wish you didn’t and sometimes, you pray they stayed. Sometimes, you know the reason but other times, it is what it is.”

— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

“I don’t understand why I keep things that I no longer need. For example — flower in my books, a white shirt I probably wouldn’t wear, ripped pair of shoes and your memories.”

— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

“I dreamt of you, last night. I met you in my dream. I remember, I held your hand and looked you in the eyes but I’m afraid — they seemed clueless and your smile wasn’t serene. Your arms had always been my home but the hug last night screamed ‘goodbye’. I can easily recall how your hand slipped through mine and later, you faded like you were never there. I promise, I saw you in my dream and it feels, you visited to say that we’re not meant to be.” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— dream or a nightmare

“Can we meet once again, for the first time? Can you tell me again that you are falling for my eyes? Is there any chance of you promising me that you won’t break my heart and tell me that choosing you over everything is not a mistake that I’m about to make? Can you hold my hand and tell me you want to get engaged before you leave the town? Can you call me one more time because you want to listen to my voice? Can you tell me you’re missing me more than anything in your life? Can I come to meet you one more time and this time, like the last time you did — can you ask me to stay?” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— because I wanted to stay and you asked me leave

“I want to capture you in my camera. I want to seize the smirk on your face and record the spark in your eyes when you smile — a smile that enlightens my soul. I want to photograph your vulnerability when you’re are lost in your thoughts and forget about the world. You captivate me, when you scratch your nose while listening to stories. I want to keep you in my memories so that one day I could look back and think about the love that I wish was mine.” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— love I wish was mine

“and I keep waiting for your texts and calls. I keep waiting to hear your voice and telling me that you’re sorry. I keep waiting for you to scream at me and tell me that I was wrong too — I keep waiting for you to come and tell me that I was hurting you, too. I don’t know why, but I keep on hoping that one day, you would. You would come and tell me that you still love me and you would do anything that it may take for us to work again. I don’t trust you but I keep on hoping that you would come back and give me a reason to. I keep waiting for you to come and compel my heart that it still loves you.” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— waiting and hoping

‌“and it was my birthday. I looked at my phone — waiting to see your name popping up in my notification, hoping that you’d be the first one to wish me. Before that night, I had no idea that an event could make so much of a difference — even though you told me the next day you didn’t forget, I had realised that I wasn’t as important as I thought I was — perhaps, that’s when I had lost you for the first time. Few days later, we had gotten into a fight — all I know is that it was my mistake but all it proved to me was that your ego meant more to you than the love you said you had in you. I assumed, that was it — I had broken your heart but you wrecked my soul when I found out that you’d been lying to me and I lost you one more time. On our last call — you said you love me but your actions recited a complete different story. I had lost all hope until tonight when I picked up my phone to dial your number and my heart refused because I no longer love you — I love the person I thought you were.” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— a very happy birthday