#discernment
making this its own post. context being op has maladaptive daydreaming and experiences paracosms and wanted discernment tips—though i have used these in the past for unreality and dissociation :)
outside of these examples, i will always advocate for recognizing where your paracosm begins and where it ends, as it will help you significantly in the long run. who are your recurring figures, what features have you experienced and can confidently attribute to the paracosm only—this is something that can be done alongside professional help, if you feel you cannot trust your own judgement.
A perspective on “signs;” internal rather than external.
Things that many people consider to be signs, [ie animal sightings, bugs, feathers, weather changes, head/stomach aches, patterns, numbers etc.] are all constantly naturally occurring around you. Externally, these things are existing at all times. So as they say, if you’re constantly looking for “signs”, you’ll find them.
This is why I do not consider signs to be physical/external. A deity is most likely not putting something physical in your path to communicate with you. Instead, your deity is in your head, calling your attention to something that is already around you. Its not the external object that is the sign, but what happens in your head when you notice it.
You could see 50 birds in a day and hardly notice them, then suddenly see a bird and feel something. It’s not because your deity is controlling that specific bird. It’s because your deity is highlighting that bird for you from within, likely because it’s something that will make sense to you. If you don’t understand a “sign,” it’s probably not actually a sign. Your deity has no use for trying to communicate via something you don’t understand.
In addition, here are some questions to ask yourself about signs:
1. Did I ask for a sign? (not all signs are solicited, but if you haven’t asked you don’t need to be on the lookout; or you’ll drive yourself mad trying to decipher normal patterns in nature)
2. Is there a specific question I need answered or problem I’m seeking help on? Does this “sign” give me any insight or answers?
3. Does this sign mean anything to me? Do I have personal associations with it?
4. Is this happening in it’s normal pattern, or out of the ordinary? (Normal such as, seeing a certain time on a clock, a species that is native to your area, feathers near a bird nest, foretasted weather, etc. or abnormal such as a wild animal in town, a large gust of wind in an otherwise calm day, a creature not normally seen in your area, a glitch in technology, etc.) Normal things on their own are not often signs, but can be depending on the other questions!
5. Did this spark an emotion, thought, feeling/vibe, etc? Did it cause an urge to do something, go somewhere? Remind you of a person? Did an answer pop into your head?
Ultimately, signs are a form of communication, to help point you in the right direction. So if you are not feeling any sort of message or answer, and there is not a personal meaning to you, it might not be a sign. Likewise, if you see something, no matter how ordinary, and feel a message from your deity, you have your sign, and should feel confident in that!
I’m saying this not to be judgemental, but out of concern and personal experience-
please always consider the mundane explanation before a magical/spiritual one.
I’ve seen a whole lot of posts on here talking about seeing spirits and clairvoyance and things like that, and I understand the appeal! I used to be really really into witchy stuff, I was for years, but please take note that some things could be signs of serious mental health conditions and not just “enlightenment”.
I overlooked my hallucinations for years because I was convinced they were spirits. Seeing dark shadowy figures, feeling watched, hearing someone call your name, tingling in your hands, feeling a “force” take control of your body, etc. can sometimes have medical causes.
If spirituality makes you happy, by all means go for it! I still cleanse my room regularly and do tarot whenever I get a chance. But please mention these things to a mental health professional if they become distressing. I was convinced I was haunted for a bit and turned to the internet for advice on banishing spirits when what I really needed was psychiatric help.
This goes especially for younger people, I first got into witchcraft when I was around 12 or 13 and I thought all of these were just signs I was doing it right. Your practice/religion/spirituality should feel safe and make you happy, not afraid.
Does anyone have any tips for discernment when you have Maladaptive Daydreaming?
My biggest tip is mindfulness exercises, the kind that focus on learning and understanding how you think.
I don’t deal with maladaptive daydreaming necessarily, but as someone with a sometimes tenuous connection to their own body and the world it inhabits I found being able to recognize my own thought patterns extremely helpful. Mostly I use this skill for spiritwork applications - identifying what is an internally generated thought vs something dropped into my mind by an entity. Or for separating Otherworldly travel from dreams or daydreams.
Verifying with your preferred divination methods is also always good! If you aren’t confident in your internal discernment skills it never hurts to go an extra step for confirmation. You can think of the use of divination in this situation as training wheels, use them while you need them, and eventually you might not need them anymore.
making this its own post. context being op has maladaptive daydreaming and experiences paracosms and wanted discernment tips—though i have used these in the past for unreality and dissociation :)
outside of these examples, i will always advocate for recognizing where your paracosm begins and where it ends, as it will help you significantly in the long run. who are your recurring figures, what features have you experienced and can confidently attribute to the paracosm only—this is something that can be done alongside professional help, if you feel you cannot trust your own judgement.
these are exercises to be done in your own time to begin to trust yourself and your discerning abilities. these do not have to begin with spirits, but the end result can surely include them :)
1.tell yourself truths—i have x colour hair, i have x colour eyes—try to recognize how that feels to you. what is your train of thought, how do you receive that truth, does your mind falter and suggest otherwise, does it feel stable and sit within you as it is? as time goes on, you can expand on these truths—i am using social media, my shoes are white, the time is 9.30pm, and so on. the goal is to understand your body’s responses and the communication between your thoughts and any repeated sensations, as these would be your anchors for recognizing ‘truth’ from lie.
2.tell yourself lies—inverse to the above, tell yourself lies. if you have short hair, state it is long. wearing socks? absolutely not! play around with the length and complexity of the lie, feel how the body reacts. this is now your baseline for a ‘lie’ from a truth.
3.practice a level of controlled guessing—it sounds strange, but in your day-to-day life you can take a guess at any random occurrence with very little drawback. for example, what colour car will you see on the next street? will i see a dog during my walk today—simple things that are not so unlikely they’re impossible, but not so common that you’re guessing the sky has clouds while it’s overcast.
at any point, you can pair this with the first example. do you feel anything that would suggest truth, and is it something you can confirm? you feel you’ll see a red car on the next road over, and your body treats it like a truth—does that red car ever appear?
4.record these truths and events—find your rate of success, how each event feels and if there are any common reactions within the pool of successful predictions and guesses.
5.rely on other senses—in the case of paracosms, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to immediately discern spirit from thought without also understanding the boundaries of the paracosm itself, and that often takes time. for me, the mind is not the only way to hear and speak to a spirit. luckily, we have other systems of discernment that lie outside the realm of the mind, should it be untrustworthy in the moment.
one test i enjoy is feeling the movements within my face, namely the jaw—for many people, they’ll notice small movements that pair along their train of thought, almost as if the body is preparing itself to speak. over time, i’ve noticed that when i speak to myself in my own thoughts or am within my own paracosm, my mouth and tongue follow along in preparation. when speaking to a spirit and having it respond, my mouth does not move.
another way to look at this, if it applies, are there certain things you feel, taste, smell, or see during a paracosm that are wholly unique to it? say, the scent of a certain flower, the feeling of pins in your fingers? if yes, using these as indicators of your paracosm.
6.use physical tools alongside intuitive communication—i noticed [op] mentioned that tools are not a problem, so this is an excellent baseline to work with if you feel you cannot get a handle on the other forms described (assuming you have not tried already). if you already are in good relations with a deity, you’re free to reach out to them, or instead reach out to a local spirit. the goal is to communicate with something you recognize, or something simple.
however you would communicate intuitively—through normal conversation, question and answer setting, or other—check through that conversation with your tools. ask the deities or the spirit later on how true this conversation was as you experienced it, and compare. this works better if you record both aspects, the initial conversation and divination in part.
7. and while this was not included in the original post, which events matter, and why do they matter, if at all? purely in the context of signs and symbolism, much too often do we see something uncommon and immediately jump to the conclusion of “it’s a sign from the gods! the spirits are talking!” this is formed under the assumption that your gods or spirits want to speak to you first, rather than the other way around.
how often do you actually pay attention to your surroundings? have you recently discovered your spirituality and now look for it in every action—and in saying that, are you be prone to attributing the spirits to your symptoms?
migration season is upon us, you watch the birds fly overhead in steady formation, this is normal in this time of year. do those birds in particular feel strange, do you feel drawn into their pattern now for no reason? i am avid believer that your signs are attributed to already occurring events—that the spirits and gods do not bother to give you new situations, but rather whisper in-between the ones that already bleed into your life.
this last point is something that comes with time. eventually—innately—you will begin to understand how it feels to have their words flash before your eyes in the form of an animal, a strange cloud, a stranger.
if you don’t have it yet, don’t worry. we have plenty of time.
Does anyone have any tips for discernment when you have Maladaptive Daydreaming?
outside of these examples, i will always advocate for recognizing where your paracosm begins and where it ends, as it will help you significantly in the long run. who are your recurring figures, what features have you experienced and can confidently attribute to the paracosm only—this is something that can be done alongside professional help, if you feel you cannot trust your own judgement.
there are exercises to be done in your own time to begin to trust yourself and your discerning abilities. these do not have to begin with spirits, but the end result can surely include them :)
i apologize in advance for the length of this response.
1.tell yourself truths—i have x colour hair, i have x colour eyes—try to recognize how that feels to you. what is your train of thought, how do you receive that truth, does your mind falter and suggest otherwise, does it feel stable and sit within you as it is? as time goes on, you can expand on these truths—i am using social media, my shoes are white, the time is 9.30pm, and so on. the goal is to understand your body’s responses and the communication between your thoughts and any repeated sensations, as these would be your anchors for recognizing ‘truth’ from lie.
2.tell yourself lies—inverse to the above, tell yourself lies. if you have short hair, state it is long. wearing socks? absolutely not! play around with the length and complexity of the lie, feel how the body reacts. this is now your baseline for a ‘lie’ from a truth.
3.practice a level of controlled guessing—it sounds strange, but in your day-to-day life you can take a guess at any random occurrence with very little drawback. for example, what colour car will you see on the next street? will i see a dog during my walk today—simple things that are not so unlikely they’re impossible, but not so common that you’re guessing the sky has clouds while it’s overcast.
at any point, you can pair this with the first example. do you feel anything that would suggest truth, and is it something you can confirm? you feel you’ll see a red car on the next road over, and your body treats it like a truth—does that red car ever appear?
4.record these truths and events—find your rate of success, how each event feels and if there are any common reactions within the pool of successful predictions and guesses.
5.rely on other senses—in the case of paracosms, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to immediately discern spirit from thought without also understanding the boundaries of the paracosm itself, and that often takes time. for me, the mind is not the only way to hear and speak to a spirit. luckily, we have other systems of discernment that lie outside the realm of the mind, should it be untrustworthy in the moment.
one test i enjoy is feeling the movements within my face, namely the jaw—for many people, they’ll notice small movements that pair along their train of thought, almost as if the body is preparing itself to speak. over time, i’ve noticed that when i speak to myself in my own thoughts or am within my own paracosm, my mouth and tongue follow along in preparation. when speaking to a spirit and having it respond, my mouth does not move.
another way to look at this, if it applies, are there certain things you feel, taste, smell, or see during a paracosm that are wholly unique to it? say, the scent of a certain flower, the feeling of pins in your fingers? if yes, using these as indicators of your paracosm.
6.use physical tools alongside intuitive communication—i noticed you mentioned that tools are not a problem, so this is an excellent baseline to work with if you feel you cannot get a handle on the other forms described (assuming you have not tried already). if you already are in good relations with a deity, you’re free to reach out to them, or instead reach out to a local spirit. the goal is to communicate with something you recognize, or something simple.
however you would communicate intuitively—through normal conversation, question and answer setting, or other—check through that conversation with your tools. ask the deities or the spirit later on how true this conversation was as you experienced it, and compare. this works better if you record both aspects, the initial conversation and divination in part.
Dear God,
please give me a vision (or thank you for the vision you have given me) for what you want to accomplish through me. I pray that you will open my eyes, give me wisdom and guidance, and prevent me from putting the “cart before the horse.” Help me to wait when I should wait and to act when I should act. Thank you for finding me worthy, through the blood and righteousness of Christ, to be a child of yours and to be a participant in your plans for today.
I praise you God.
In Jesus’ name,
amen.
Dear God,
Sometimes I find it hard to manage my time well. There is so much to do. Please help me to prioritize my daily activities to align with your will, your plan, your purpose, and to do what is most important as well as the little mundane tasks that must be done.
Help me to know when to say “no” to projects and requests that come along that would overwhelm me or take away from what you want me to do. Please help me to always love and care for those lives you have entrusted to my care and circle of influence.
In Jesus’ name I pray,
amen.
Earlier this week, a group of young women from Lexington, NE joined us for a few days to learn about our monastic life. They shared our prayer, work, and play while hearing stories of sisters’ discernment and joy. Before leaving, the ladies gifted us with this art illustrating their favorite quote from their time at the monastery.
For those who noticed the painting in the shadows of my last post — here is Trajectories II, in the clarity of even light!
This is an older piece, made at a time of upheaval, and looking for a way forward.
There is a beautiful magnolia on our street. It makes me think of the rootedness of beauty, home, and loving relationships. I made it during a time of turmoil and change — part of which was living in Toronto to do my MFA, and being away from family a few days a week.
It was a real time of questioning, but also dreaming of deepening connection. I think that time was critical to finding the next steps in my life.
May the Spirit blow through all our branching.
#contemporaryart #magnolia #mfa #yorkuniversitycanada #discernment #oilpainting #abstractart #floralart #canadianart @yorkumfa
https://www.instagram.com/p/CKANdprguYY/?igshid=odpdfiqn2f4h
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Notice how God chose to reveal Himself to Elijah – “a tiny whispering sound.” Elijah first perceived loud wind, earthquake and fire. But when he heard the tiny whispering sound, he knew the difference. He probably knew the difference by the application of the gift of discernment. The servant of God knew the attributes of his Master.
Seek First Community; Commentary on 1 Kings 19:12
On the first week of supervising kids, a school in the middle of nowhere and my new friends
I don’t know how did it happen, but I am working on a summer language camp. And it is the most varied experience I have ever had. It all started last Sunday. We were sent to Brunel university for a couple of days and I had to go there straight after the mass at St Mary’s. It was not easy at all and I was crying the whole way from the church to Euston Square station, brokenhearted. My bag’s wheel…
On uncertainty and things that may cause problems and my constant strive not to be worried
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On Messy Church and little boys taking cookies
As it comes to the aspects of church work, I feel more or less comfortable with all of them but one. I am involved in old people projects, Bingo clubs, I am even happily setting up and cleaning after the services. I was helping in the parish office and assisting in a lot of hospital chaplaincy activities. And I felt (and still feel) I like it all. And then there comes the children ministry. But…
Your energy is your greatest currency, be selective where you spend it.
Drop a if you agree!
I just realized something today.
the pagan community is so concerned about people who come to you saying they have “a message from their gods” or are in any way speaking for their gods or telling them how to experience their gods and such. Thats not good. Thats manipulative and bad.
but has anyone in the companion community considered that going to someone and claiming to have a message from that person’s companion, telling them that you’ve met with or spoken to or bashing someone because of something “their companion said”…. that is exactly the same thing.
Like, if you know that person and they’re comfortable with that and they’ve consented to that, that’s one thing.
But going to someone you dont know that well and has not consented to that and saying those things to them? that is manipulative and toxic. Talking about someone and criminalizing them or telling any kind of stories about them based off ‘talking with their companion’? That is also toxic and gross.
There is absolutely zero excuse for that behavior wether or not you truly spoke to their companion and wether or not it is true.
But seriously guys?
The posts warning about the astral are great and all, but having been in the spirit work community for a little less than a year and already encountered emotionally manipulative people, I have to urge all of you to be just as, if not more wary, about the humans on this plane that you choose to work with.
There are people out there who may present themselves to newbies as a mentor or teacher, but may have a multitude of ulterior motives. They take advantage of the naivety of newbies to give traction to their own spiritual beliefs and bolster their own standings. People who make you doubt yourself, belittle your achievements or growth and praise themselves, all in the same breath and with a charming smile. They can take advantage of the inherent lack of objective proof in metaphysical work to make accusations, and bank upon the trust granted to them as a senior member of the community.
Always, always be critical of anything you are told. Regardless of whether someone seems to be knowledgeable, no one person or group should be your sole source of spiritual guidance. Just because someone is experienced, doesn’t mean they know everything, and it certainly doesn’t mean they’re a good person. Seek out other opinions, and trust your intuition. Just because you are new, don’t be afraid to question or doubt. You know more than you think you know.
Please stay safe.
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS UP. You really said everything in this post.
Have you ever thought of this questions? Have you ever wondered what would happen if there were no worms?
They don’t seem like important creatures because they are hidden from day to day life, only coming out of the ground after a storm or when the ground is broken up and plowed. The worms fertilize the soil. They burrow down in order for some movement of soil to be made. They are needed. Charles Darwin stated, “It may be doubted whether there are many other animals which have played so important a part in the history of the world, as have these lowly organized creatures.”
Compare this with the life of a cloistered monk or nun. They are hidden from the world but provide nourishment for the Church in prayer and quiet life. In times of great turmoil, they have been the rock and foundation for communities that they are in. St. Therese of Liesure offered every little thing for God and this hidden life became one of the greatest missionaries of the 20th century yet she never left her cloister after she entered.
I wish to be hidden and offer everything to Christ. This is what I wish with my life. Anybody who is discerning their vocation out there, don’t give up. Be quiet and let God speak. If you feel like you are just waiting around offer it up! Make every moment God’s moment.
So I talked with Sr.Faustina of the Sisters of Life last night and she was so helpful and sweet and full of joy. She offered me this awesome insight: because I am so new to the Faith, it is better for me to continue to work to give my whole life to Christ before trying to discern a call to religious life. Right now it is natural that, by His grace, I would want to die to my old life and give this new life to Him. But this doesn’t mean that I am necessarily called to be a sister. Jesus is meeting me where I am, and this openness to God’s will is a grace that I need to embrace in order to glorify him in all that I do. It was so nice to have this reassurance that He is guiding me and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. She encouraged me to take a few years and then revisit this call if I’m still discerning it may be for me. I’m so happy I had the opportunity to talk with her. Soli Deo Gloria :)
I’m so proud of you! You have such a mature understanding and acceptance of vocation, which I think is often underappreciated.
I was in the same boat as you - in fact I was thinking about the priesthood before I had even finished RCIA - so I understand the excitement. I know the wait will drag on at times. But I also know it will be so much more fulfilling knowing that wherever we end up is truly where we are meant to be. There will be no wondering, no cursing our hasty decision, just pure peace and joy in the Lord.
May God bless you on your journey, bonaememoriae. Keep in touch. <3
I am not pleased with part of the quote I just posted, for the record. You may have noticed I cut a small snippet from that passage (the […]). The fuller quote:
Two thousand years of theology spoke, five hundred years of Jesuit tradition spoke, his own life at that moment spoke. God was silent on the matter.
And…NO! God was notsilent on the matter! God spoke! In that tradition, which Emilio voluntarily accepted! In the moment, when Emilio knew he shouldn’t break his vows, God spoke! These traditions, this theology, the inner conviction of the conscience… if they’re all agreeing, if every choice has been building up to this, if the temptation you’re facing is what you’re bound by duty to do versus what you would like to do, God is not silent! God is screaming!!!!!
