i know you might not believe this but there are ppl in this world who genuinely love you and will love you!!! with all of their heart!!! and they won’t take pleasure in seeing or making you suffer!!! they’ll want to work with you and grow with you. love and affection and companionship in all of its forms are possible!!! that’s what human beings are best at!!! forming bonds and supporting one another!!!
Well-written relationships between characters are what makes a story beloved. And while writing romance has it’s own difficulties, it’s even more tricky to write good and believable friendships.
What role do friends play in a story?
It depends a bit on if the friendship is between MCs or if the MC is friends with side-characters. The friendship with another MC could be the focus of the story and driving point for the plot. But the friendship with a side-character could help your MC to rant about their problems, to get a second opinion, to get an honest truth, to see a situation from another perspective and to realize that they are not alone in this. They can also be helpful to show your MCs regular life outside of whatever special happens to them in the story and helps to show why your MC is the way they are.
Types of friends
the best friend
the friend group
the situational friend
the old friend
The best friend - they share almost anything with each other, their opinions matter, able to tell them off if they are wrong, closest thing to a sibling, people know them as a duo
The friend group - in on all the tea, give honest opinions, help out where they can, can have deep, but also very casual scenes
The situational friend - friends because of circumstances (having classes together, being on the same sports team, having mutual friends), are friends when they see each other, don’t really seek each other out outside of that situation, knowing about specific parts of each other’s life, but not other parts and wouldn’t share deep conversations
The old friend - think about childhood friend vs. college friend - the friends have met in completely different parts of each other’s lives, know each other in different ways and probably have a different understanding of each other, the old friend would probably not know everything about their life right now, but they still fall back into old patterns with each other (good and bad)
Give them something in common & some differences
Humans like to flock together with people with similar interests, personalities and lives. So give your fictional friends things they have in common. Sharing the same goal, liking the same things, having compatible personalities, having the same outlook on life,…
But friends are not a carbon copy of each other. Give them some differences that don’t hurt their friendship in the long run, but rather some that can the characters can build off of these differences. Taking advice from a friend who has more experience with something, a friend who sees things a bit different, or becoming more confident because of their friend’s confidence.
More tips
Make sure to give the friends their own life. They are not just there to bounce ideas off with your MC. They should have their own goals and personalities. Make sure they could be their own character without the MC.
To have a friendship that the reader likes and roots for, you have to make sure that the reader can see why they are friends. The quite, nerdy kid is not going to be best friends with the loud, edgy, popular kid without a believable reason. Why would they hang out if they have nothing in common? Having been friends since kindergarten is not enough of a reason to still be best friends in high school if they have nothing to talk about and don’t like to do the same things and if their personalities just don’t match at all.
The grass touching the soles of my feet sent shivers up my spine; I wasn’t expecting it to still be wet but I took off running anyway. Tangled hair falling into my face, tree branches brushing against my skin, barely dressed, I found my way to a space in the woods where I would sit until the sun tickled my skin a little too roughly. Your dad had cut down one huge tree in this space using it to finish up a cabin we often would run away to just a few hundred feet from your house. We would pretend we were grown and on our own… We would have picnics in the space where the tree once lived or you’d go out there alone to think, journal, cry… When I went out there you never chased me. You knew I didn’t need you right now. This is a learned habit; you put this runaway spirit in me. I used to hate the grass on my bear feet.
“It’s fucking itchy!! Why can’t we just wear some shoes every once in a while?”
“You can’t feel anything if you wear shoes. Stop being a baby.”
“What is so important that I need to feel out here?”
“Everything.”
Once I found my way to the tree stump, I sat down and held my hands out; angry.
“Could you please give me something beautiful to hold on to? I think I’m losing everything. I think I’m lost. I don’t think I can help her.”
Tears fell quietly as I continued to sit there with nothing but my anger. I longed to hold your hand and tell you that I love you and have you actually hear it. Have it mean something. Have it change something. After a while, my anger had left. It had been taken away by the wind, I guess.
As I walk back, I feel everything; the way the ground feels soft but firm, the roughness of the twigs and small branches that have fallen, the rocks pushing against my heels, the cracking of the leaves; dead. When I walk into the kitchen, you are there. You are eating half a slice of toast with the smallest amount of peanut butter; it’s barely visible, scraped across so lightly. You try to smile but tears fill your eyes and spill over immediately. You don’t say anything but I already know what you want to say. You want to say, "It hurts. It feels "ugly.” It feels like giving up. It feels like I’m never pretty enough.” So, I hug you. I hug you and I can feel every bone in your body. I can feel every piece that is trying so hard to hold you together. You fall apart; hyperventilating.
“I love you. You’ll make it through this. I’m here.”
You pull away and look at me with blue eyes and tear stained freckled skin; trying so hard to smile. You take another bite and pretend like it doesn’t feel like dying. I walk away and give you space; give myself space. We breathe and it falls into a rhythm that feels like love, like strength; feels like healing.
Eventually, you push me away and I let you. It’s hard to watch someone hate themselves; it’s hard to know you can’t really force healing but I write you a letter years later… And it brings me peace, I think you found your own solace too. Friendships are sometimes only around for a season I’ve heard and that hurts but I’m thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned.
You taught me a lot of things I didn’t expect you to; things like how to care about someone (outside of family) more than yourself, how it feels to want things for someone but also not want those things; the ache inside like a fire burning endlessly. You can never put it out. You taught me how to love in ways that I keep under lock and key; secrets I’ll bring to the grave. You taught me to enjoy things that felt out of reach; taught me how to dance in the rain and feel like dying a little less inside. You were the most I have ever loved anyone platonically, in my entire life, I think and yet I also hated you and the things that you did… The things you said… The things that you believed made you, you. You taught me what it is like to love unconditionally.
I read this article (about dating) here and it makes a remarkably good point.
Not only is it in regards to dating, but it also works in business/your career. With friendships. With traveling. With food. With shopping. With pretty much anything.
Don’t do things with only mediocre effort. Don’t hang out with people if you’re not excited to be with them. Don’t waste time on projects that you don’t want to stay up until four in the morning working on. And so on. All these little things and people distract us from what we’re passionate about and who we’re crazy about spending time with. When everything you do is out of passion, I think all things in your life and the people in your life will fall into place.
That’s it. It’s simple. Whatever you do, wherever you go, and whoever you’re with, be all there.
It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
“Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.
“We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”
Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”
Pooh looked at Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”
“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”
“Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.
it’s been a minute. first new comic post in… nearly 4 years?? woof! felt good to get back into those squares again. :^) happy holidays everyone. thanks for following along <3
