Life has a funny way of throwing you off track and keeping you on your toes. On our way home from the hospital my mother and I got rear ended by a truck. My glasses fell off my head from the impact and flew into the back seat. I had to hold the phone so close to my face to dial 911 because I couldn’t see. As if today already didn’t suck enough having my mom’s pet scan for cancer god just wanted to add this to the plate. My mother and I were both shaking, our bodies are in pain. The car was drivable so we drove to the hospital. We sat there for hours, thank you covid. The waiting room was full to the max, people were sleeping on the floor. We gave up and left. Lessons learned today- life challenges us at all times, I have to let go of things I can’t control, it’s better to roll with the punches. Keeping fingers crossed that my moms scans come back clean. Hoping for a better tomorrow.

no filter

I decided that for 2022 I will try to write something at least 2-3 times a week. My memory is not the greatest and I know there’s so many good moments I just let go by so this is my way to document my life. If you are new here, I’m Kate. I am a working mom, a wife to my high school sweetheart, PTO president, small business owner ( well trying to start it now). I love creating just about anything. My favorite is when I see my ideas which at first seemed crazy come to life. I am from a small country called Latvia and both my parents and I moved to US when I was just 11. I went to the same school as a little foreign girl that I am now PTO president at. My best quality would have to be my work ethic, i apply myself fully to any project I work on. I hate being late so if you are the one that always shows up late to events we can’t be friends. I like to cook thank you to tik tok i’m getting kinda good at it. I love the smell of clean laundry and the feel of clean sheets. I like to give meaningful gifts. I love to travel, covid has made it hard. Community events melt my heart. I have my opinions on politics but will hear anyone out, we don’t have to agree that is ok. I respect the flag, the military and anyone in uniform that’s how I was raised. I cry when I hear certain songs and my eyes fill up with tears each year my kids blow out candles on their cake. I struggle with mental health and I’m hoping that by keeping this blog going it will help me work though some things. This blog is for me to hopefully make me a better person, mother and wife. I need to start looking at the positives in my life instead of stressing about what might happen, what won’t work out. I hate carrying around so much stress, it’s making me not be fun to be around. So join me on this journey if you wish. This is going to be my honest corner of the internet. No filters, no staged pictures just real life stuff. I will share the blessings along with the struggles because no one is perfect. 

in Jesus name

It sickens me to think that we live in a world where someone walked into a school with a loaded gun and killed 19 children and 2 teachers. I can’t even imagine the pain and sadness that community is going through. The is no longer a safe place for those kids. If kids have stuff going on at home, going to school used to be a safe place. Yesterday changed that. That shooter not only took the lives of those 21 people but also took the comfort of know your child is ok in school from the whole country. No parent should worry that when they kiss their kid that morning it might be the last time. When will this violence stop? People are living in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of shopping at target and having your child be kidnapped, sending them to school and worrying about shootings. Not ok, do better America. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. For the media to make all this about gun laws is not only disrespectful to the families who lost loved ones but also takes away what happened. Politicians have their own agenda and use terrible events of what happened to speak “their truth”. There’s 19 kids that won’t get to grow up, go to college, get married, start their own family. There’s 2 families of the teachers whose kids will have to grow up without a mother. Those are the victims in all of this. No one has stopped and asked why did this happen? It’s not the gun, it’s not the lack of mental health help that we have, it’s the shit show that we live in. People are going insane, no one is on the same page and instead of having a conversation and try to see it from a different view people blow up. Political views are ripping families apart. So please let’s take politics out of this. I know that I will be hugging my kids tighter going forward. I woke up this morning and thought of the poor parents waking up to a quiet house this morning because their child is no longer there. We all need to come together and do better.

5/25/2022

to MOMS

At the end of each day ask your child what was their favorite part. Trust me the answers will not only shock you but will put your whole life in perspective. What seems irrelevant to us might be the most special thing for your child that day. We tend to run on autopilot between jobs, sports, homework, laundry, meals. Life is hectic, stressful and complicated which is why asking your child what was their favorite part of that day is so special. I ask my kids and you know what they usually say? Some of our usual answers are being outside, drawing a picture, making a paper airplane, watching wheel of fortune, cooking, soccer- all very simple answers. Again, it’s amazing to see how something as little as making a paper airplane was what they took away as the best memory of that day. Being a parents is one of the hardest jobs no one can train you for. There is no book, cheat sheet, no orientation although I wish there was. Everything you do affects them, every step you take they are watching you- especially when you are in the bathroom. Nothing like having your 5 year old daughter announce to the whole baseball field that her mom has a tattoo on the butt cheek (true story unfortunately). So please carve out 3 min out of your crazy day each day and simply ask “ what was your favorite part of today?” and prepare to be amazed. Always remember you are doing what you can, they are little once. You got this mama!

1/10/22

What would you tell your younger self if you were able to go back in time and give advice knowing what you know now? 

I would say focus more on education and go to school for something you are truly passionate about instead of drowning yourself in debt and not knowing. Credit score is as important as your reputation and I wish high schools would explain that more to kids instead of us solving math problems that we will never use in real life. Travel as much as you can, learning different cultures opens your mind to new possibilities. Follow not only your heart but also your gut. All the tears shed, breakups and drama with the high school boyfriend will be worth it because he ends up being your husband. He loves you even when you make it hard, he is hard on you but it’s only to make you better. He’s kind when you need him and knows exactly how to make you feel special. You have 2 kids, 2 amazing humans that you created with the love of your life. They challenge you everyday, make you tired but most of all fulfill your life in ways you didn’t know was possible. Your parents are going though a lot health wise, they are keeping their chins up and your relationship with your mother is still a work in progress. You raise your kids believing that they can do anything they set their mind to. You want them to have a better life than you. You work hard at being a good mother, everyday. You let yourself go in a lot of ways, gained weight the way you dress but you are working on that right now. You carry a lot of guilt that at the age of 34 you don’t own a home. You know it will happen but it’s always on your mind. You allow the negative thoughts to control your life but you are dealing with it. You need to take breaks for your wellbeing, 1 hour at the thrift shop or getting a coffee and reading a book. You are never alone but you feel alone and that gets tough. You have so much good in your life. Beautiful kids, a husband that loves you who is also great dad, you are starting your little business. You need to push the dark feelings away, you can’t let the demons win. You are stronger than you think, you are kind, you stand by what you believe in. You are compassionate and thoughtful. You take pride in your work and your creativity is endless. There’s so much good in your life, you are so incredibly lucky. Turns out people that say that life is short are 100% right. But what they don’t tell you is as the time passes you mostly only remember the good times and moments so focus on that. Be in the moment, enjoy it and most importantly smile.

¼/22

Vaccinated not vaccinated, can we just fast forward to a time where covid is behind us? Feels like everyone around me has covid and the world is closing in. No one knows what the right thing is to do but yet make statements as if they went to Medical school, everyone is a doctor when it comes to these topics. When in reality they got their info from the news. Each channel says different info too! Hard to keep track. 5 days, 10 days mask on, isolation, quarantine. I can’t take it anymore. This has ruined people’s lives, people lost lives, their sanity. This needs to end!

July 14, 2021

Hey! So can you believe it’s been 9 months? My baby will be here in less than 2 weeks! Wowwwww! I’ve been through so much these past few months and I think it’s made me a better person; for me and my son. I’m would say my maturity have grown significantly, I mean has to I’ll be responsible so a little person very soon. And even though I’m still technically homeless I know things will work themselves out. It’s been pretty hard trying to find a place during the pandemic and my job let me go back in April because I was pregnant. Well actually my midwife wrote a doctors note stating that I have severe back issues due to my scoliosis so she asked my job to give my 15 minute breaks to just sit down every 2 or so hours. They weren’t having that and told me that same week that they were letting me go. My only source of income, just taken from me because of my pregnancy. So I decided I would start walking dogs again. When I started making actual money to save up a month later someone hit and totaled my car which was my only way of transportation to get back and forth to my walks. I had to spend my all my savings on on towing and other sources transportation (like Lyft or metro - public transportation). So my boyfriend had to get a job ASAP. It’s gets paid enough now for us to get a place but the landlords are making it so hard to move in! Did you know someone has to make 3x their rent to move into a place? I’ve never… I wasn’t saying all of this to complain or for someone to feel sorry for me I just haven’t gotten you all caught up. Besides everything that has happened I wholeheartedly believe that everything will work out for us. Sometimes I worry but there’s no point in worrying and stressing about something you can’t control. I’ll keep this optimism attitude and I’ll keep looking for a solutions for our situation because I refuse to have my baby and not have our own place. Oh!! Last thing, I’m 38 weeks pregnant! Hopefully he comes sooner than later but I won’t rush my little man. I can’t wait to see him! I’m so excited!! :3 well until next time, peace✌︎