1. Her day job as a trainee realtor meant that this young yummy mummy could always arrange private viewings of her prime real estate. 2. “My husband might call me to help settle the twins…so how about you start eating your dessert at the table now, while it’s still hot?”
Let’s just say it wasn’t long before I returned for a second…
1. Her day job as a trainee realtor meant that this young yummy mummy could always arrange private viewings of her prime real estate. 2. “My husband might call me to help settle the twins…so how about you start eating your dessert at the table now, while it’s still hot?”
Why am I so unhappy? Postpartum depression maybe. Literally nothing makes me happy but my son. He’s the o my thing that being hot into my life. But besides that if I’m not around him or if he’s sleeping I’m miserable. That’s how I feel 90% of the time even is he is up and about laughing which I love to see him doing there’s still this sadness deep down underneath that smile. My baby doesn’t make me sad or unhappy. I know what is it sort of. Recently I’m expressed my feelings or sadness on to my so called partner. The conversation started off with him asking me what’s wrong because I guess I’d been moping around all day. I told him that I haven’t been happy lately and he told me yes I have. I told him I was not happy and he asked why. I didn’t know how to properly put my answer into words so I tried my best. “I just need a break.” He took this to heart thinking that I meant from him but what I really meant was from everything. I’m a mom 24/7 and he’s a dad less then half of that, I need time to myself to figure out who I am again. I expressed this to him and all he said was okay. Okay. And this was weeks ago, he still hasn’t even tried to put in any effort to make me happy. I feel so alone. I have to fake being happy around everyone because I don’t want to seem like I don’t know I’m just a sad sap but I am. I cry every night and he doesn’t notice. And for me to actually think I was in love with him. I fouled myself. I loved him and I still do but I’m not or ever have been in love with him. He was right when I was pregnant and he said we barely knew each other. I will never regret my baby NEVER but I do regret who I had a baby with. I wish he was more caring and actually took what I wanted into consideration. “Oh baby I see that you’re overwhelmed with taking care of the baby. Let me wash the bottles and clean up the room.” No it’s never that. I do everything! I wash the babies clothes, I clean his bottles, I bath him, I dress him, I make his doctors appointments, I put him under my insurance, I get him everything he needs, I feed him, I wake up in the middle of the night to change him, I put him to sleep, I clean up after all of us. Best part is I came to love with him and his family, so we’re staying in his bedroom. I try to clean to you the room and he gets upset about me straightening up. What kind of… you know what? Never mind. I just want to happy and feel appreciated. I’m freaking tired of being sad. I need my own space, my own home for me and my son because I can’t rely on his dad to do anything for us. And honestly I don’t know why I’m going so hard tonight maybe because I’m just up thinking when everyone else is sound asleep. Anyway I’m about to go cry again.
Hi! Guess what?! I had my baby boy! He’s here, healthy and happy! I’m such a proud mom! Can you tell? Lol. I was in labor for 3 days but I was in active labor for 12 hours, without an epidural, woah can you say painful. But it was all worth with, he came on his actual due date which everyone thinks is so crazy but I knew he would. I’m so happy we have him. My boyfriend and I love him so very much, he’s our reason to push harder and work harder. My boyfriend even said yesterday that he’s glad we didn’t go through with it. Yeah I am to because even though I’m in pain and still healing and tired out of my freaking mind I wouldn’t trade him for the world. My sweet baby boy! I can’t believe I’ve been writing about him for months and now he’s here. I still miss him being in my belly sometimes. Mostly because he came everywhere with me and because I miss his kicks and nudges. But I love that I get to see him and hold him and kiss him. I hope I’m a good mom, I’ll damn sure try my best! I’ll do anything for my son. But hey besides that my boyfriend and I have been pretty good. He’s such a good dad, but it feels like our relationship changed. Not in a bad way it’s more so there’s 3 of us now so our relationship is based around the baby now. Also my sex drive has come back but we can’t do anything because I’m still healing. I’ll definitely be more careful once I’m able to you know have sex again, I seriously don’t want to be pregnant again. Well not for a few years. Well anyway I can’t believe I’m a mother now, let’s begin this new chapter of my life :3 gotta go
Ps. Lol this is weird but my boyfriend has work in the morning and I went on his phone to sent his alarm so he’ll get up in the morning. After I did that I went to look at his pictures because he has more pictures of our son on his birthdate then I do so I wanted to see all the pictures. They are all so cute besides the pictures of me in pain during labor and right after giving birth. Anyway I went to his recently deleted file and there are videos of him and his ex girlfriend being sexual lmao. I looked at one because I’m nosey and I didn’t get upset. Mostly because I’m the video he said he loved her and she didn’t say it back. She stopped loving him and he was giving her his all. It made me feel bad for him for a second but then I didn’t. If she didn’t do what she did in their relationship I wouldn’t have my son. Also I wasn’t upset because he was in a relationship with her at the time and yes they did have sex and I was also having sex in my relationship before him. But it was just burning in my brain I had to something.
Hey! So can you believe it’s been 9 months? My baby will be here in less than 2 weeks! Wowwwww! I’ve been through so much these past few months and I think it’s made me a better person; for me and my son. I’m would say my maturity have grown significantly, I mean has to I’ll be responsible so a little person very soon. And even though I’m still technically homeless I know things will work themselves out. It’s been pretty hard trying to find a place during the pandemic and my job let me go back in April because I was pregnant. Well actually my midwife wrote a doctors note stating that I have severe back issues due to my scoliosis so she asked my job to give my 15 minute breaks to just sit down every 2 or so hours. They weren’t having that and told me that same week that they were letting me go. My only source of income, just taken from me because of my pregnancy. So I decided I would start walking dogs again. When I started making actual money to save up a month later someone hit and totaled my car which was my only way of transportation to get back and forth to my walks. I had to spend my all my savings on on towing and other sources transportation (like Lyft or metro - public transportation). So my boyfriend had to get a job ASAP. It’s gets paid enough now for us to get a place but the landlords are making it so hard to move in! Did you know someone has to make 3x their rent to move into a place? I’ve never… I wasn’t saying all of this to complain or for someone to feel sorry for me I just haven’t gotten you all caught up. Besides everything that has happened I wholeheartedly believe that everything will work out for us. Sometimes I worry but there’s no point in worrying and stressing about something you can’t control. I’ll keep this optimism attitude and I’ll keep looking for a solutions for our situation because I refuse to have my baby and not have our own place. Oh!! Last thing, I’m 38 weeks pregnant! Hopefully he comes sooner than later but I won’t rush my little man. I can’t wait to see him! I’m so excited!! :3 well until next time, peace✌︎
Wow, I can’t believe I’ll be 30 weeks pregnant this Sunday. My little boy has been moving around and kicking me which sometimes hurts but I don’t mind. I just love to feel him move, it’s like no one else knows but me. My god I love him so much, and he’s growing so fast! I can’t wait to see him! My little baby, my little person, half my me! He’s not here yet but I’ll do anything for him, I’ve never felt this type of love before. Instant and unconditional. And I know once I see his little face it’ll triple. I’m sorta scared to be a mom but I’m more excited. I don’t want to fuck him up, I want him to be kind and smart, but I always want him to know when to stand up for himself and what’s right. I feel deep down in my soul that he’ll be an amazing person. I want to give him everything me and his dad never had and more. But now that my family and my boyfriends knows and everyone has come around to him and his arrival, I know we’ll have lots of help and I know this baby; our baby with be welcomed into this world with nothing but love and support. I’m so happy he chose ME to be his mommy! :3 Well until next time, peace!
Okay I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I don’t want speak to any of my close friends or family about it. Mostly because I might only feel this way because I’m pregnant and I don’t want to them to get the wrong idea of my boyfriend. But anyway first let me say this, I love him, I love my boyfriend very much. He makes me so happy… but only to a certain extent. I makes me happy sexually, when we joke around and when we’re just happy in general. But when we comes to serious things in our relationship he just shuts down and goes quite. I thought relationships were about the good and the bad? And what makes things worse is that I’m working but he isn’t. And I won’t be working for much longer because I have to have my baby in July so everything will be on him for awhile. We also still haven’t moved out, and I’m still technically homeless. I just wish I had the money to get my own apartment, my own place to stay were my child and I will be comfortable and safe. I’m honestly thinking about starting a go-fund me since my job is barely paying to anything. I have other bills that need to be paid also, so I really think a go fund me would help out a lot. But who would help? I really don’t know but it won’t hurt to try right? But on a lighter note, guess what?! I am now 19 weeks! And I’ll be 20 weeks on Sunday! It just hit me, I can’t believe I’ll actually be someone’s mother soon.. I really hope I’m a good mom. And I hope my baby loves me as much as I love it. I can feel it moving sometimes. It feels like little butterflies in there. I’m checking to find out the gender next week, and just to get a check up because your girl finally got insurance!!! I’m so happy! But that’s all I have for today. Talk to you later!
Sometimes I can’t stand my boyfriend. He acts like he’s the one who’s pregnant, he always has attitudes and it just makes me not want to be around him. Maybe I have been with him for to long. I’m literally been at his house since November, it’s time for us to separate for a little while. But Christmas here was okay. His mom got me some Christmas pajamas and he got me a cool book I’ve been wanting for a very long time. The only bad thing about yesterday was that I couldn’t really keep my food down because of the whole pregnancy thing. Speaking of I’m going to go check my the kid next Wednesday. He thinks we’re going for an abortion but nah I’m checking the kid. And I’m getting my health insurance on Monday! God I’m so excited. I’ve been talking to my best friend and my ex best friend about this whole thing and they’ve really been a big help. I appreciate them very much. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. Oh! Also since I’ll be a mom soon I need to get my shit together! I need to get my credit right, invest in stocks, and work on my other species of income. You have to spend money to make money and scared money gets you nothing. I also plan to move out of my moms soon. I don’t to have a baby at her house, we need our own space. I was thinking about moving in with my boyfriend but he bullshits a lot and he acts like he can’t save his money. I told him that we need to start saving and he told me “no you need to, I will once I get a job.” Like that makes no sense at all to me. If you’re getting free money wouldn’t you want to save it especially if your ultimate goals is to move out by February or March of next year? All he does is spend his money on weed and food. And I get the food I’m partly to blame for that because of the kid but come on you can go a month or two without smoking to save a leave. Then smoke as much as you want once you’re established. Guys are so backwards to me. Sometimes I feel like I could be with him forever and other times I just want to leave him and be alone. But I do love him, he just need to get his priorities straight because they are all over the place kid. Anyway, I just wanted to update you on what’s been happening. Ttyl♡
So I’m alittle overwhelmed with this pregnancy thing. My boyfriend still doesn’t want to keep the baby and I’ve been trying to look for resources to help me out. I don’t have health insurance so making my first appointment to check on my baby has become extremely frustrating. I’ve heard that there are programs for that, to help out with prenatal care, food stamps, free doctors visits, and free vitamims up until child birth but I can’t find ANYTHING! I… I feel like I’m suppose to have this baby but I’m so lost on what to do! I want to ask my parents for help but I know they’ll just ridicule me. Tell me I’m dumb for even wanting to keep my baby. I want to move out of moms house before I ask her for help, I know she’ll be upset at first but she’ll get over it and end up helping me. I just feel like I’m stuck right now. I feel like there’s nothing in my power that I can do! But I’ll pull through. I’ll find a way not only for me but for my child. Even if I have to pay for everything out of pocket I will! Well I just had to get that off my chest. If anyone who has seen has any advice please, please, please reach out to me.
These cheeky young moms still can’t believe what they’ve done for free drinks all night - but it’ll be worth every cent when they’re too drunk to remember to keep their thighs together…
