#mood swings

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I will go to this great nudist place Alone this summer so I need lady to have fun as couple together

I will go to this great nudist place Alone this summer so I need lady to have fun as couple together and enjoy in parties 24/7


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Ask me personal shit about life

Drinking wine and feeling overwhelmed by the urge to cry for no reason..

Today I had this moment driving to work where I suddenly became really present and there weren’t all these thoughts and questions and worries and to-dos hammering at my head and I just felt here and content and I didn’t need to cry or laugh or have any intense emotional reaction- I just recognized it and existed in it and appreciated it.

Mentally, I pushed through a lot last year. My depression and anxiety were so rough for so long that I felt really really close to giving up more than once. There were many many weeks where I didn’t feel like I had any control of my moods- my thoughts- my decisions- the words coming out of my mouth. Sometimes it felt like I was scared of eeeverything. I said a lot of things I regretted to the people I love the most and after I tortured myself for it.

Then I found a new, really fantastic and funny therapist near the end of the summer and I can’t believe how much she has helped. The lack of control is still there from time to time, as are the fears, but I’ve become better at reaching out to my friends when I need them. I’ve become better at recognizing my mood swings and knowing how to handle them so I can keep myself from doing something I will wish I hadn’t later. I’ve become better at “being good to myself” and forgiving myself when I do make mistakes. I’m become better at making decisions for myself. I want to continue all of this in 2017. I really want to be there for my friends, my family and my boyfriend more than I was able to before. I want to become part of a community in my new town ! I have a list of specific things I want to try for the fist time this year, and organizations I want to get involved in. I want to start writing again. I’m going to record some music this year. It’s so good to feel capable again. I wish I could write a thousand-page love letter to every person who was present for me in 2016 when I couldn’t be. ❤

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