I cannot thank the denizens of this hellsite enough for introducing me to the concept of “neurodivergence” and what neurodivergence looks like. I’m serious.
Number one thing I wish I could clarify on regards to those of us with ADHD: 50-70% of us have emotional dysregulation (big time contributor to that rambling/over-explaining in our cases). Including me. So please, please stop before asking someone something like “Why can’t you just get over it?” Or telling them “Just get over it/don’t let it bother you.”
I worked at a call center and it severely compounded my depression to be constantly treated like shit by angry customers, and yet my friends and co-workers could just… shrug it off? Which I never understood. And would just shrug at me, in turn, and tell me “Just don’t let it get to you.” So, I can’t begin to grasp how 8-12 hours of being talked to like you’re shit is something ‘normal’ people can just set aside at the end of a work day, but I can’t. So Much so, that I had to leave that job because it severely impacted my mental health. On a similar note, a simple disagreement with someone I care for, even after apologies, left me in a dissociative state for the rest of the day because of what was said to me in that heated moment - what was said doesn’t go away, and neither do my feelings… even when doing my therapeutic exercises to try and help, it’s rough. But I’m much better at dealing with this dreaded aspect of it now that I understand my own neurodivergence! I just hate that 'well just don’t let it bother you’ outlook. I feel everything (the good and the bad) 100x more than normal - it’s a difficult, uphill battle against my own emotions, like a busted volume dial always set to max.
Ask us how you can help us move past it, or offer an ear to listen (we’re often TALKERS), a shoulder to lean on, or an activity or talk to help us take our mind off of it (and therefore redirect our emotions, a therapy technique) - or just say “That sucks dude, how can I help?”
Is it just me or are fashion trends hyper-exaggerating gendered traits again, especially in women’s fashion?
I find it frustrating because I’m transfeminine and I just don’t do well with clothing that emphasizes narrow waists and broad hips, because I don’t have them, and a lot of the clothing doesn’t fit me. With high-waisted shorts or pants they’re either too tight on the waist or too loose on the thighs. Give me 2000′s fashion with low-to-mid-rise stuff that is a bit more boxy looking. I only need to fit it on the hips and it doesn’t go up much higher than that so it doesn’t matter what size my waist is. With that style, at least I have a chance of finding a pair of shorts or jeans that I can actually fit into and maybe I’ll even look good in them. If the shorts have a tendency to ride down, a common problem with that type of clothing, I can just wear a belt. Also, I just like the look and feel of this era of clothing better.
Nothing against people who legitimately prefer the clothing of today, either for aesthetic reasons, or because they find it fits their body type better. That’s great for you. And I get that for many people, because of their body shape, the clothing of today with all the high-waisted stuff legitimately does fit better.
I just have a huge problem with a fashion industry that fixates on a single, narrow range of “trends” at a given point in time. And of course it sucked in the 2000′s for the people who really wanted high-wasted stuff and it wasn’t available.
Like why can’t companies just make a range of fashions available all the time? It makes me so angry. It’s like the same shit of like how there is something that I like all the time (like narrow-wail corduroy pants) and some years I can find them in stores and other years I can’t, because they’re “in” some years and “out” other years.
I hate it so much. I wish I could do something to stop it, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all the people who are forcing these trends on society and then getting rich off them, to lose their jobs.
And yes, I also am a bit puzzled at the “sheep” (no offence to actual sheep I love sheep) who just fall prey to the marketing and who don’t actually have any opinions about what clothes they actually like. Like in the 2000′s everyone was buying low-rise shorts and jeans and thinking they were the coolest thing ever, and the past 10 years everyone has been buying high-waisted shorts thinking they are the coolest thing ever and I just don’t get it. Like…we still have the same range of body types that we’ve had all along, there is no rational reason to like one style in one decade and another style in another decade.
And it’s frustrating to me, because seeing all these people around me buying into trends that I don’t like, and that don’t work for my body type, kinda pits me against others around me, even my friends. Like over the past 10 years I’ve been basically hammered with women raving about how high waisted shorts are so wonderful, they love them, they love how they look, blah blah blah. And it’s hurtful to hear that because I lived through the 2000′s and I heard everyone talking back then about how high-waisted stuff looked frumpy and they hated it and I saw everyone buying and wearing the low-waisted stuff and loving it and thinking it was the hottes thing ever, so I know that these people aren’t really forming their own opinions. Yet by everyone buying all the same stuff, in a sort of mass groupthink, it hurts me during the times when the things I want go out of style. The stores stop stocking and selling the stuff that I want to buy, the stuff that I can wear and that works better with my body type.
Does this have something to do with me being neurodivergent, the fact that I notice this stuff and it bothers me and 99% of the other people don’t seem to notice it?
I don’t know. I hate it though and I really wish I could get more empathy and support for feeling the way I do about this. And I wish people would be more resistant to the fashion marketing and other social phenomena that create trends. Trends are not just harmless phenomena. They hurt. And they can be especially hard on trans people when a particular trend comes into being that doesn’t work as well on trans people’s bodies.
I feel like if you solve one issue you fall into another. You either crave people too much or you are reclusive. You’re either manically happy or depressed. You are either a fitness freak or a slob. What is the ideal life? Where is that line that tells us what’s balanced? What is the indicator of it?
When I’m annoyed and people try to console me I feel annoyed and tell them I wish they’d rather not. But if they listen soon I start to feel like no one cares about me and feel lonely.
Anybody else feel me? Tell me I’m not the only one being weird like this.
Perks of having a “out of sight, out of mind” brain is you can mute, block, ignore, cut off anyone who’s pissing you off and your brain’s gonna be like “yay im happy now :) ”
You ever notice how people use the excuse of “that’s just how they are” for shitty and toxic behaviour but never for people who are introverts, ND or just doing something harmless. Then it’s “change them, "fix” them".
Something little made me spiral and sent me into meltdown so now im listening to music and drawing to help me calm down. What do u do to calm yourself out of a meltdown?
I know that a lot of people didn’t like 6x09 “Statistical Probabilities” and thought it was bad representation of mental illness, which I can understand and partially agree with, but I also have to note that I’ve met every single one of those people in inpatient (minus the super-genius status). Even the ways that Julian changed while around the other Augments felt very familiar to me — there’s a distinct Energy in the mental hospital environment (in my experience) that doesn’t translate into how one behaves when out “in society.” I’m not saying other writing choices couldn’t have been made, but I still appreciate the feelings of recognition I got throughout the episode.
I thought it’d be good to create a list of the Good Omens fics out there w/ disabled characters! I don’t write fiction, but I want to promote all of the work you’ve been doing in making the Good Omens fandom a safe space for disabled fans! If there are any fics that aren’t on here, please let me know so I can make a Part 2~ Also: if any fic writers are looking for sensitivity readers to give feedback on accuracy of representation of autistic & queer characters, feel free to reach out to me! Check out my Sensitivity Reader page on my blog for more info. Interdependence by@goodm-omen-ts: Autistic Aziraphale & Crowley w/ chronic pain & PTSD. Want to read a lovely fic where Aziraphale & Crowley figure out each other’s access needs together? Read this fic by a good friend & lovely person! and the punchline to the joke is asking SOMEONE SAVE USby@princex-n: Crowley w/ chronic pain. Crowley’s experiences w/ chronic pain over 6000 years up to the body swap. I love how Crowley’s character arc from being ashamed of his disability to being ready to tell Aziraphale was depicted. Also the way inaccessibility in the environment & internalized ableism are shown are really well done. its duty is to harm me, my duty is to knowby@natalunasans: Autistic Aziraphale & Crowley w/ ADHD & chronic pain. Great multiple chapter fic. I enjoyed seeing assistive technology in there b/c it doesn’t come up often in fic & I LOVE that Crowley is Jewish. TW for blood/injury. Shakes and Tremorsby@milla-gsd: Crowley w/ chronic pain. Crowley tells Aziraphale about his chronic pain for the first time & Aziraphale is completely supportive. The “you’re not alone” feels I got from this made me quite emotional. Father of Warby@stories-of-arani: Aziraphale w/ PTSD. Explores Aziraphale’s role in Heaven before coming to Earth & the impact that has left on him. This fic left me speechless & blown away. TW for brief descriptions of wars. i want you today, tomorrow, next week, and for the rest of our livesby@bannerenthusiast: Autistic Aziraphale & disabled Crowley. SOFT FLUFF and plans for the future! This is a really sweet & adorable fic. Please by @not-a-fucking-pogo-stick: Crowley w/ chronic pain. Aziraphale supports Crowley when Crowley has a pain flare. I love Crowley’s characterization here. Our Own Universeby@alas-pancakes: Autistic original character. Aziraphale & Crowley take in an autistic kid & give him the love & support he always should have had. I read this fic to remind myself that chosen parents who accept children for who they are are out there. TW for emotional abuse (parent emotionally abusing their child), ableism, & 1 use of the r word. a culmination of miraclesby@campgender: Crowley w/ chronic pain. Crowley tells Aziraphale he has chronic pain & Aziraphale wants to understand so he can support Crowley. TW for minor unintentional ableism. Not Aloneby@superqueerdanvers: Crowley & Anathema friendship. Anathema & Crowley have a conversation about their disabilities & find solidarity together. Crowley w/ chronic pain & Anathema is an amputee. i was lost at the edge of dying (in a world so cold) by @brokenfannibal: Autistic Crowley. Crowley is captured by a cult & Aziraphale has to rescue him. TW for violence & torture.
Ok. So these results he says, literally the results the psychologist wrote down. Like, verbatim. “Questionnaire consistent with ADHD”. I’ve literally had my primary care physician say to me, “man, I think you have adhd. You sound and act exactly like my college roommate”.
I hate how when LGBT complain about how annoying and loud and stuff GSA/anime/band kids tend to be there’s always those fuckers that are like “they could be neurodivergent you’re ableist.”
So you admit that you think neurodivergent = annoying? Because to me it sounds like you’re the one being ableist.
My thoughts have just done 0.025x speed on youtube. I can focus on my artwork without having intrusive thoughts like ‘hey go hit your brother with a pillow while screaming an entire scene from a musical’ (i have done that before, it was the blueshit scene from tgwdlm)
I feel calmer and its strange. I’ve lived my whole life living on hyperspeed. Its so different. I dont know if i like it or not. It really helps my impulsivenessandattention span but it doesnt feel like me
Super happy with my results! All A’s and only 2 B’s in Humanities and HPE (screw HPE tho (volleyball still is cool tho))
I am an average A and B student but my parents have said nothing so far. Iinda want some validation
anyways i just bullshitted all my essays like i always do and pass with flying colours cause i am ’special’ ’gifted child’ who is ’wise beyond their years’ and super ’talented’. Mam thats just me masking 84% of the time and seeing the world differently to you.
Honestly i kinda feel like being neurodivergent is somehow cheating because i have an advantage. Idk just me overthinkingg
Heehoo didya like my rainbows? A lil razzle dazzle to this post (tumblr needs to add a purple)
I think we should talk more about how adhd affects artistic hobbies. Some adhd artists, writers, and musicians might be able to hyperfocus on their art, but I also bet there are many adhd people who can’t engage with their hobbies at all, even when they want to. Who tell themselves over and over “just create something, god damn it” but can’t.
Those who feel like imposters, who think “I should want this, I need to want this, I need to do this, or else maybe I don’t actually want to be an artist like I thought.” Even without imposter syndrome, it’s soul-crushing to be unable to start, sustain, or enjoy the hobbies that once fulfilled you.
You are seen.
hi yes! here are my two cents-
I am 13 years old and autistic. I have many hobbies, such as playing guitar, drawing, writing poetry, making jewelry, etc. And while I don’t have ADHD myself, I do share a lot in common with my ADHD peers!
I often find that it is hard for me to divide my energy and time on all of my hobbies, which really frustrates me. Some days I may be able to draw all sorts of wonderful things, and yet when I sit down to practice some guitar, I’m just not feeling in the mood. Or sometimes I’ll make lots and lots of bracelets, earrings, and necklaces in the span of an hour, but when I try to put my creativity at work with poetry, I don’t get anywhere! (This pretty much explains why I have a very irregular pattern of activity on here.)
Personally, when I’m struggling with this stuff, I feel like I’m not working hard enough to pursue my goals with guitar, or that I won’t become more skillful or successful if I’m not giving my full effort to practicing guitar 24/7.. but why should I feel like that? You don’t need to push yourself to your absolute limits to feel good about your skills and hobbies!
And while this can be upsetting, It’s important to understand that everybody functions differently when it comes to tasks or hobbies. And that’s okay! It’s taken me a while to realize this, but you don’t haveto be 100% productive in all of your hobbies/activities- that’s not how the human brain works! And I know how frustrating it may be to not be able to do certain things at certain times. I know sometimes you may feel like a failure, or you may feel stupid, or inattentive. Or maybe you feel like you’re not doing things right. But it’s perfectly normal to not be able to put 100% of your focus on everything! Remember to take a break from your hobbies if you need to! you don’t have to overwork yourself to be successful with your favorite activities. <3
