i’m tired and angry and i just wanna give a special fuck you to every teacher who implied that using “complex” language meant you were cheating or sucking up, when in fact that’s just how a lot of neurodivergent/autistic kids (and adults) naturally sound
My thoughts indeed
This is so me. I used to use really complicated sentences and stuff, but did a lot mistakes bc i was dyslexic - which of course nobody told me. So the complexity of what I was saying resulted in even more mistakes. Since our school system only counts mistakes… Well… I was a bad student. Of course. Because how else would it be?
I got a 3.93 GPA, and that A- physically hurts me.
Next semester I’m going to try something new. I’m going to write mini-essays in an effort to “teach” lessons from my courses. I always remember things best after having explained it to someone else. So, if you are interested in learning snippets about civil litigation, immigration law, and family law, stay tuned!
I’ve never been an A+ student. The highest GPA I’ve ever gotten in a year is 3.7, both semesters. I’ve never been someone to sit down and study really hard for hours on end, but now that I’m in college, those habits need to change.
My goal this quarter is to get a 3.8 GPA. Like I said, I have literally never had grades that good before, but I’m hoping that my incredible interest in my classes and change of habits will get me there. I know a 3.8 is really, really hard to get, especially in college, but I’d rather aim high than low.
So, here I am, avoiding homework by cleaning my dorm and blogging about college. Here’s to another 9 weeks!
Per aspera ad astra - Through adversity to the stars
Hello there everyone! I have quite a bit of news to share with all of you lovely readers, as it has been quite a while since my last update. Hopefully my writing habits will be a bit more consistent now, due to the main reason I am writing this update. So grab a cup of tea, or coffee for you Americans, and be prepared for a lengthy blog entry.
Commencement to Independence
For the longest time, it was my belief that graduation was just another event where I would only witness others experience the joy of being released from the dictatorship of homework and the school setting.
Much of my student experience has been infringed upon due to various circumstances; whether illness was to blame, being placed in classes my superiors wrongly believed I belonged, or unwillingly leaving the only place I called home, as well as exiting the lives of many I held and hold close in my heart.
Not everyone experienced the same scenario as I did, which is wonderful. Even so, for much of my life there was a common denominator.
Adversity.
Due to my disability, my experiences and memories of the school setting are extremely unconventional.
Which leads to the less self-pitying part of my screed. If it weren’t for all those obstacles, and more, throughout my existence as a student, graduation would not grant me the same satisfaction and pride as it does now to declare to you all that I am no longer a high school student. September 21, 2018 was the day I was set free.
Although there are plenty of memories I have to look back on that made my school days less dreary, so I shall not admit that every second of my years at school were terrible, as I had the good fortune of making a few friends along the way as well as learning some lessons that allowed me to grow as a person.
So I thank all of you who have stuck with me through the good times and the not so good times, because I couldn’t have made it here without you.
I’d especially like to thank my first teacher who set me on the right path to homeschooling. You know who you are, with your huge green duffel bag full of wonderful toys each day as we sat in the garden room. Thank you for always being there for me academically and as a friend. You mean the universe to me.
Every experience and every person that one encounters affects the future, individually and worldly, good or bad, long or short. Because, who knows? Maybe one day someone who experienced something they perceived as awful will change the life of another so someone else will never experience what was already lived through by another.
Celebration?
To celebrate this momentous occasion, my grandmother and I designed what would normally have been the top of my cap to go along with my gown.
Then we made a message in a bottle, with the message being the poem The Road Not Taken as it is our favorite poem.
But the most important component to all of this is the timing of everything that has unfolded over the past few weeks.
Enjoy the first ever gif I have ever created, of course it’s to do with Stephen
I managed to finish the last of my exams the day directly before my grandmother’s birthday, which wascoincidentallypurposefully happened to be on my cousin’s birthday. Then, on Friday, I was officially set free from my classes on the birthday of my great grandfather. Everything took place over the course of three days, and three birthdays of three people that mean the world to me.
Funnily enough, exactly one week to the day, another event unfolded spontaneously. I was granted the most amazing graduation gift. A friend, a very old friend, of tremendous significance and value to me. We had not seen each other in almost nine years, but we always kept in touch. Last Wednesday, we broke our hiatus and had lunch together with our grandparents. I felt like I was in a dream. I couldn’t believe we were even in the same room. He has seen my old self, my pathetic self, and my happy self, and he never left. He’s one of a kind and I don’t know what I would do without him. Making him laugh after taking a nervous drink of water while we were at lunch and burping due to my liquid consumption was one of the highlights of our visit together. Hopefully we won’t have such a lengthy hiatus between seeing each other again, which neither of us believe will happen. I already can’t wait to see him again.
Then on the Saturday following that Wednesday, I swam with my other best friend who happened to come home from college that weekend. I honestly don’t remember the last time we just chilled out in the pool, or anywhere, and hung out like two normal teenage girls. Granted I did complain quite a bit about school work after we got out and had lunch, but that wasn’t the entire visit. It felt so normal to just hang out with my best friend, and I can’t thank you enough (you know who you are if you’re reading this). I couldn’t have asked for a better way to finish my classes.
But graduation is supposed to be a big deal, right? A huge celebration is supposed to take place, right? Well, I honestly have no idea how else to celebrate my accomplishment. I would love to have a party and do something the way everyone else does, but many of my friends and family live far, far away. So out goes that idea… Nevertheless, if no other celebration takes place, I am forever grateful for being able to visit with my friend from New Jersey thanks to his and my grandparents.
Moving Forward
Now that I have soooo much time on my hands, I don’t know what to do with it! Well, I do, but it’s only been almost a week since I finished my classes and it’s still rather odd. I spent the weekend creating and improving a sort of sketch that puts together my Halloween costume. Yes, I’ll be 19 by then and many will say I’m too old to do Halloween, but you know what? Adults are allowed to dress up and have fun too. Halloween is not just about the candy, well not to me anyway. To me, it’s about letting yourself be free to be whatever you want to be for one day of the year. As it seems that it is only socially acceptable to dress up when one is an adult around Halloween, if one were to dress up any other day of the year you end up being labeled as a psychopath.
Okay, maybe not a psychopath, but anyone dressed up as a character or dramatic makeup is worn outside a concert, theatre club, comic convention, or Halloween, etc., side glances and glares will be made.
I decided that I will be dressing up as my own version of Sherlock, as long coats are as much of a pain to get on as a dress. I have a few components of my costume together, but I still need the hat, scarf, and maybe shoes? I may just go with a pair of short boots that I have as finding shoes in my size is an entirely different story.
I wasn’t sure if the coat I had would look Sherlockian enough, so I decided that I would put together a sketch of my outfit to see how it would look. So I put this together.
Originally, as you can see, there was no face. But I worked on it and worked on it over the past few days and this the outcome. In the beginning I did trace the undershirt, but that’s it. I figured out the rest. I’m very proud of it, as it is the first drawing I’ve done in quite a while that I haven’t gotten angry with.
Having this freedom has made me realize that after a few days of numbly looking at social media, I am suddenly craving to learn new information and I miss my math and science classes. I think that within the next week I will unconsciously start to read books again just from the slight need I’ve had to expand my knowledge again. Maybe I’ll even start writing stories again due to new knowledge, as I have written down a few ideas for short stories the past few days. In the words of a good friend, the possibilities are endless.
Spinraza News
Luckily I have school finished to get through my next injection. I was reminded that I have to go through re-approval from the insurance, making my injection date is a week later than I wanted. This week I have to get blood drawn again as well as other tests.
Speaking of tests, I had to do a strength test last week, my first one after having Spinraza. My results have to either stay the same or improve in order for the insurance company to say I can keep having Spinraza. Needless to say, I was terrified that I wasn’t going to improve due to their standards. I’ve noticed more strength in my legs than my arms, granted my right arm is noticeably stronger, but I did not anticipate the evidence the strength test would grant me.
The first test was to tear a sheet of paper. No big deal, right? Wrong. I had to try to tear a piece of paper that was folded four times. I tried and it didn’t happen. So my physical therapist unfolded it so it was in half. I believed that I was trying to tear it wrong as I was using my nail to start the tear. But I was wrong. That’s how you physically tear a sheet of paper when you pinch it. So when it cooperated and I split the paper down the middle, I was like “okay, I could totally do that before Spinraza.” Again, I was wrong. When I did the baseline test, I was able to rip the paper but only if:
it was started for me
it was a single sheet unfolded
it only ripped sideways not straight down
My physical therapist kept my old paper and showed it to me to prove that I had improved. After I saw the paper, I felt like Captain America
Go ahead, enjoy that gif because Tumblr doesn’t allow more than 10 images so that’s the last one guys
Once I completed that question of the test, the test was gravy. I was actually able to do other things as well such as:
lifting a weight I couldn’t before
completing a short maze test without stopping my pen
pressing a stupid light button and making it stay on
opening a container that was entirely too difficult when I tried six months ago
I gained 5 points in the scoring system, from 11 to 16 points. I still can’t get over it. So much has been going on the past… Well, year, honestly. Between myself and my family members, it’s been nonstop.
Well, I think I’ve written enough for this update, probably too much… But whatever, if you guys enjoy these updates you don’t mind. If you don’t enjoy them… Well… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you don’t understand the title, click on the video camera
Hello there everyone!!! Today has been quite a day and I thank Spinraza for my newly discovered data. As you can see in the photo above, I actually took a selfie photo of myself in the mirror of my bathroom. I was actually a normal (ew) teenage girl for a few seconds! This isn’t something that happens very often, folks, so mark it on your calandars! I’m kidding about marking your calandars, or am I?
Anyway, the reason why I am so excited about this, and other things, is that if you look closely at the photo of me there, you may notice something different about me.
Is it my hair?
No.
Although I do believe an older man called me, “young man” yesterday…. May need to keep my hair a bit longer in future???
That’s off track.
Is it my shirt?
No.
But it is the shirt I wore for my last injection. So that’s kind of significant.
Is it my makeup?
Just kidding, I don’t wear that. Much.
If you guessed before reading about all these little random thoughts, brownie points for you. If not, then you definitely aren’t Sherlock.
I am sitting up much straighter than I am normally able to tolerate.
Why is this a big deal? Well this means that my upper body is beginning to have a bite of the good stuff. Meaning Spinraza is actually sharing the love and allowing me to sit a bit more normallyregularly straight. I used to sit up straight and tall, but that was directly after I had spinal surgery and then I got a new chair that was technically a loaner and it screwed up my posture which lead me to this moment in time.
Don’t get loaner chairs, kids. It’s a trap.
But something that really surprised me was the fact that my physical therapist…
I know you’re reading this so here’s a hello from across the Internet to you! Have a Reid wave you Criminal Minds mutual lover you ❤️
I’m sorry but that had to be done…
Anyway, my physical therapist emailed my grandmother about the photo I edited with all four injection photos side by side:
That one ☝
She noticed that my posture changes with each photo. Keep in mind, as she said, that I could have been seated differently, or maybe I wasn’t as tired one day compared to another… But let me give a little recap of each injection and how stressful each one was in comparison to another.
Thefirst injection photo was taken after a relatively easy procedure. I had severe anxiety that day before hand, but after it was all over, I’ve never felt so relaxed… This was taken at around 11-11:30am for a 10:30am appointment.
Thesecond injection photo was taken after the doc decided to use a shorter needle, so that was a bit uncomfortable compared to the first one. The headaches after that procedure was absolutely hellish, but other than that it was alright. This was taken at around 9:30-10am for an 8:30am appointment.
Thethird injection photo was taken after the doc couldn’t get a clear enough image of the entrance to my spinal fluid and accidentally hit a nerve (literally and metaphorically). That one was not fun. This was taken at around 11-11:30am for a 10am appointment.
Thefourth and final injection photo was taken after the worst pain experienced in my entire life, and that’s saying something since I was a reckless child and have had my chair topple onto me numerous times. For some reason my back went into complete spasm. Luckily this occurred when the needle was taken out, not being put into my spine. I never screamed so loud and for so long. Okay, maybe when they’d put more medication into my foot IV after my spinal surgery, but I whimpered more than screamed.
Anyway, I underwent a lot of pain after three of the injections, and a lot of stress. But my posture noticeably is different in each picture. Oh, and no, my dad most likely had nothing to do with the fact I look fairly straighter in my chair as he also sees everything that happens to me during the procedure as I ask for him to be in the OR in case something happens and I need him. Which I did this last injection so it was the right move on my part. So he is as stressed out as I am, and tired.
My other deduction about my seating is the fact that it got ruined after I was put into a loaner chair for about a year and my excellent, newly fixed posture went in the toilet since the company I used couldn’t completely accommodate the way I sat until my actual chair was ordered. They tried to fix it once I got my chair that I would really use and I absolutely could not tolerate sitting any straighter than the Leaning Tower of Deziree.
My terrible 5 minuet edit depicting a long dead joke. But it was worth the effort.
The next bit of news I have for you all is that I tried something that my previously mentioned physical therapist suggested. I made a video of me doing said activity, but Tumblr is a pain and wouldn’t let me add a title or photos along with the video so I posted it just before this post. The link to it is here for those of you who want to see it immediately this second instead of at the very end. Either way, you will see it. The commentary is comedy, so enjoy.
Lastly, I finally completely finished semester 1vof my senior year!!!
Now all I have to do is finish two classes to be completely finished with high school. Beyond excited to actually be able to do what I want to do for six months and just read because I will have nothing else to do. Actually, I should really start doing that now as I have more time… Hmmm…
Today day started off with a trip to Cracker Barrel as I finished my Economics course yesterday. I figured I’d treat myself to a caramel coffee as my cousin had something similar when we went there with her a few weeks ago. I’m glad I did as I discovered as we were waiting for our food that I finished my class with an A, and that my C on my end of year exam didn’t bring my grade down as much as I expected. It’s been an absolutely amazing day with my aunt and grandmother, we had a Girls Day Out with breakfast to start, then Michaels Craft Store next. We bought quite a bit and ended up with some beads to make my aunt a Spinraza bracelet like my grandmother, father, cousin, and I have. This was the end result.
It was thanks to doing is bracelet that I ended up handling scissors.
This is not something I have been able to do. Ever. The amount of Occupational Therapists that tried to give me scissors that were “adapted” to “help me” cut independently… I won’t get into that. But today, I saw the scissors, picked them up with one hand, put my fingers in accordingly, and started cutting the air. So my grandmother gave me some paper and said have at it. So I did. I even cut a circle out of the paper, which I stupidly didn’t record, but I folded the paper in half, and cut half a circle to make a whole circle. I cut a double thickness piece of paper. Cutting just a regular thickness is usually difficult enough, but no I had to make myself justsee if I could do it. The rest is history!!
Shortage fuelled switch from virgin to recycled polyolefins could prove permanent for some grades
Severe shortages of virgin polyolefins are driving substitution to recycled polyolefin alternatives. With ongoing regulatory and consumer pressure against single use plastics, for some grades there may not be a swich back.
Europe recycled polyolefin pellet values are once again at their most competitive levels against virgin on record across all grades, as virgin price rises continue to outpace those in the recycled polyolefins chain.
This is despite recycled polypropylene (R-PP) currently being at record high levels, and prices for recycled polyolefin pellets having risen by up to 55% since the start of 2021.
Super happy with my results! All A’s and only 2 B’s in Humanities and HPE (screw HPE tho (volleyball still is cool tho))
I am an average A and B student but my parents have said nothing so far. Iinda want some validation
anyways i just bullshitted all my essays like i always do and pass with flying colours cause i am ’special’ ’gifted child’ who is ’wise beyond their years’ and super ’talented’. Mam thats just me masking 84% of the time and seeing the world differently to you.
Honestly i kinda feel like being neurodivergent is somehow cheating because i have an advantage. Idk just me overthinkingg
Heehoo didya like my rainbows? A lil razzle dazzle to this post (tumblr needs to add a purple)
Found out this evening that I got an 89 on my second Therapeutics exam. This was a lot higher than I was expecting, after talking about it with my friends I felt that I messed up on some questions. But it turns out I must’ve been right. And the average was only 74% so I’m wayyy above that. So I calculated my grade going into the final exam next month and I’ll only need a 62 or something like that to get an A! I feel like my study methods are really starting to pay off for me!
In my 3 other graded classes, I have an A in 2 and a high B in the third. So we have one more “final assignment” left in the one I have the B in, so I’m hoping to do a good job on that one so I can inch up into the A. As for the others, I hope to maintain those averages.
I should’ve done some work tonight when I got home but I pushed it off because I was talking to my sister about her university courses. Oh well, I’ll just use all day tomorrow and the rest of the weekend. I’ll have a busy day tomorrow!
getting a 90 on a test now: tears of joy stream down my face as I climb to the top of the Empire State Building singing let’s dance to joy division. god bless america
