I’m thinking that maybe Adderall could be to blame for me ending up messed up and in what is basically a mixed episode.

I was doing fine with it for a few days, then my period started/I started the pill. I thought it could’ve been the Adderall because I was taking it while on less Lamictal than I was on before, but so many other things happened all at once, and my hormones have been fucked up for months, I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore.

But I’m putting the pill on hold for a while anyway. I’ve only been off hormonal birth control for about 3 months after being on it for 5 years, and I’d like to see if my skin will clear itself up and if everything else goes back to normal on its own.

Plus the side effects of hormonal birth control are a little much.

I know that the way I’m feeling right now is just happening because my period is about to start. I know this because I track my moods every day and, after getting back on my meds at the start of the month, I’d been feeling so much better. I’ve only started slipping as I started getting closer to the monthly bullshit.

I know everything is gonna go back to normal soon. I should keep that in mind, but holy fuck does it suck.

I spent all of last summer paralyzed by my fear of death, and I’ve been spending all of this summer suicidal, because my brain only works in extremes.

A mixed episode has started. Isn’t that nice?

Self Love Club

I have partnered with Gearbubble a print on demand service to create my own store selling my designs on a variety of different products.

It’s called Self Love Club, as someone whose struggled with mental illness I wanted to create a store around mental health, self care/love & positivity. At some point I’d love to set up my own Etsy or even Shopify selling clothes, art & more but for now I’ve decided to go through Gearbubble themselves and set up a shop front on their website.

If you’d like to check it out click the link above. I currently have one design on 3 different products at the moment but will be uploading more today. If you have any feedback on things such as pricing please do let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

Sinking Like Quicksand

I rusted like metal
left out to the rain.
Neglected I’m left
once again.

With no one to help,
I fell deep into the abyss.

Sinking;

in this quicksand
that pulls me under.
With a seemingly
unending hunger.

Just Another Statistic

I fear I’ll end up
just another number.
Another statistic
on a spreadsheet.

Lost in the wave,
all those souls
forgotten.

Will anyone
remember our names.
What will I become to you?

Just a number;
One hundred and thirty two.
Which one am I to you?


(132 is the average number of suicides every day in America)

Enlightened

An exclusive poem about Bipolar and it’s cycles. Filled with hope it documents my journey towards recovery after breaking free from the constant Bipolar cycles that have been with me since I was a teen. It uses nature elements throughout & has an uplifting tone.

Keep reading

being bipolar is wild when you feel okay you feel like you’ve been faking the whole time when you’re depressed you forget you’ve ever felt anything different and when you’re manic the idea of you being mentally ill is absurd because you’re ready to fight god

Due to some issues with my prior discord account, I had to delete the last bipolar discord, but it’s BACK now!! Feel free to join, and reblog this to spread to other people! The join link is here so definitely come and hang with us! I’m really excited to have this up and running again!

- Mod Kyle

Anyone been on Lithium before?

nah bro im not depressed i just lit a candle

Mental illness really be hitting you at all the wrong times huh it’s like a toxic ex you just start feeling better and then BOOM, there it is

May I ask non bipolar people/non mentally ill people if this is normal?

Lately I’ve been feeling very neutral. Not miserable, not happy.

I’ve been told that when bipolar people get better they think something is wrong with them because their moods are not extreme like they normally are. Like, we expect the extreme happiness if we are better. But actually healthy people feel pretty neutral?

Idk I guess I’m confused what it is to be stable? Like is me having mostly neutral days good?

Help a girl out.