I have the option of going to a birthday thingy soon. And IF I am allowed to / do go, there is two things I’m not going to like / will bother me-
1. Having social anxiety
2. Being associated with (white) people who are the types to think them saying the n word makes them hardcore. Ya know? The type where their only main personalities are farts, fish, and smelling like week old grease.
Although on the other hand, I have to test myself to try and learn; if I want to get out there, I can’t just keep avoiding people who make me uncomfortable or whatever else, all of the time. I should learn that I can be liberal, without being socially avoidant.
Did my makeup and I feel so damn good #makeup #makeuplooks #makeupartist #goth #gothaesthetic #gothgirl #gothmakeup #firsttimeinalongtime #art #artwork #confident #depression #anxiety #nonbinary (at The Ninth Circle) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIwQ8-YML-7/?igshid=1ureec8ftlu4t
Your whumpee arrives washed up on a beach following a shipwreck. They cannot remember who they are or where they came from.
Some kind townsfolk take pity on them and take them in, aiding them in their recovery as well as offering them menial jobs to get them back on their feet. After a while, they easily settle into their new life, despite the initial anxiety of having to start their life again.
However, everything is thrown upside down when people arrive at the town… claiming that they’re from your characters past.
How long does it take for them to remember? What triggers the switch in your characters mind?
just been having a horrible couple of days bc of my tics…..i literally don’t understand why they randomly come back, could be bc of stress but i have anxiety so i’m technically always in a state of stress lol
It’s the small victories. I can’t remember when the last time I actually sat down and read a book was, although I’ve read lots of fanfiction I just haven’t been able to sit down and focus on a book recently. Until today that was! It’s a childrens book and it only took me 45 minutes to read it but a book is a book and I enjoyed it. Just leaves 20 on my to be read shelf.
Spending a month away from tumblr has taught me one thing, more clearly than anything else, and that this is the Number One place to cause people with already terrible mental health, to get much, much worse.
You’re supposed to want to feel better.
No. It’s not your fault. No, it’s not your fault.
No, you don’t deserve this. No, you didn’t deserve it.
No. The reason you keep wading in the trauma, is because the part of your brain that reminds you that sometimes bad things happen, is not communicating with the part of your brain that reminds you something bad happens to you. You’re not healing by constantly reblogging self-deprecating posts. You’re not venting. You’re ruminating. It feels good because it validates the parts of your brain that have turned the experience against you. We feel good when we’re validated. Ruminating in what happened validates what is hurting you. Nothing else.
No. Avoidance isn’t the answer either. Other options exist.
You were a person before that trauma. You are not made up of what happened to you. You can be you.
No, positivity isn’t always achievable.
Not everything is all-or-nothing. Your brain just thinks of those polar opposites first. You have to consciously think to realize the other options.
Yes. You really do matter. If someone else made a mistake, you’d tell them everyone makes mistakes, right? That includes you. You’re an everyone. You’re an everyone like everyone else. You are equal.
The reason you hate yourself is because your brain doesn’t remember that it’s a human like other humans. It’s supposed to. You have to do that yourself.
You look down on your self worth because nobody taught you how to lift it back up. Your brain is wired to self-sabotage. You’re not what your brain tells you.
No, relapse isn’t an excuse to give up.
Yes. Giving up before trying is a symptom of avoiding anxiety triggers.
Yes, it IS possible to get better without professional help. You do not need a therapist or medication to start recovery.
The reason you have digestive problems is because the serotonin your body isn’t processing is stored mostly in your gut. The serotonin isn’t working in your brain, and it isn’t working in your gut either.
Yes. You can have a panic attack without rapid heart rate.
Staying in that fandom drama can become self harm. Learn to turn away from things that are negative. Yes, even if you poke the discourse for entertainment. It’s still negatively affecting you. Find a healthier outlet with things you love.
Yes. Acting dramatic for attention IS a sign of mental distress. It’s a call for help. If you feel like you’re being dramatic, odds are your brain feels bad that it’s reaching for help.
And yes. You’re allowed to ask for help. From the right people. (Not tumblr blogs.)
Saying “no” and hurting someone’s feelings is less grave than saying “yes” to a thousand things that trap you in a lifetime of faking.
Rejection isn’t the end. Failure is not the end.
Yes, you really will make it to 18. And then 20. And then 24. Start dreaming again.
You are not your trauma. Stop telling people like it’s the same as your eye color.
Yes, oversharing is a sign of PTSD. Just like secrecy.
Yes, putting yourself in the same stressful situations is self harm.
Yes, sending yourself hate or spreading rumors or lies about yourself is self harm.
No. Society does not think depression is romantic. They think it’s fake still.
No. Which characters or stories you like most ISN’T a giveaway about the kind of person you are. No. It really, really isn’t. The kind of real life people you like is.
No, it doesn’t help the community to “filter out the fakes.” It makes you and your peers constantly scan yourselves for fakeness to the point you make your health worse, and encourages stigmas on outsiders. Trust me. They’re not a plague. And they’re not your concern. YOU should be your ONLY concern. Not them and what’s going on in their head.
These are hard pills to swallow because that’s what this site has taught you.
Get off tumblr for a week. I beg you. Cleanse yourself of this place’s mantras as best you can.
You have no idea the damage this place can do to you.
I was at a college dessert party and I got a popsicle I didn’t like because I didn’t want to say no to after waiting in line. So I started asking strangers if they wanted it, thoroughly weirded them out, then apologized and walked away. So whatever happened today at least you didn’t do that.
So about 2 months ago I had set myself a challenge: not to ask for any advice for the entirety of a month (June). So what did I learn:
That asking for confirmation of my choices has become so automatic, I sometimes barely notice I’m doing it.
That I use asking advice as a way to hear my own thoughts out loud and thus to get more perspective.
That mostly I know what I truly want and it’s fear that stops me from making the choice, not my inability to choose.
At the beginning I caught myself a few times asking for advice and completely forgetting about the challenge. As the month went on, I became more aware and forced myself to make my decisions alone. This mostly ended up in me making the choice I was going to make anyway, just without another’s reassurance.
Towards the end of the month however, I noticed that I was becoming annoyed with the challenge. Sometimes I didn’t see the value in making a decision on my own, especially as some big life shifts were happening. For example, I had signed up for an apartment and suddenly received an e-mail inviting me for a viewing (at this time I was living with my mom). As soon as I stepped through the door, I knew I wanted the house. It just had an amazing energy and it was beautiful. Even though I already knew I was going to say yes to the house I still consulted my parents and my sister, it seemed like the mature thing to do. This was about a week before the end of the challenge and I figured I had tried it enough (to be honest I was getting frustrated with the challenge).
The challenge also showed me that I have a subconscious belief that asking for help means I am being responsible, because I am considering all the options. Which in a way is true, it’s like when I needed a new printer and I made sure to do my research before picking one (this might have been 3 days of nonstop researching XD). In the end though I picked the best price/quality combination and felt like I had made the best choice available. Obviously though research doesn’t apply to all areas of life. Sometimes we need to dive in, experience and learn on our own. Learn our own truth. Because with matters of the heart and when dealing with people we are never going to find a one size fits all approach.
In conclusion I would say that I definitely ask for less advice now, I am learning to trust myself more, but at times I do find it valuable to see from another’s perspective. I believe that as long as we are moving towards more self-trust, asking for different perspectives can be helpful. However we must keep our true desire in mind as we are looking from other’s perspective, we should be careful not to lose our own voice. The advice should lead us to choices we feel in our heart to be right.
“Don’t listen to people who tell you what to do. Listen to people who encourage you to do what you know in your heart is right.”
It’s a process like all other aspects of growth, being aware and working towards better choices is all we can do. We can’t be perfect and we don’t need to be.
Send me a message and share your experiences with me about making choices and asking advice, I’d love to hear from you!
PS. I said yes to the house and moved out a month later
