#dd shenanigans
My dnd tiefling, Heffa, and here obsidian ox figurine, Cruise. Wanted a to make badass cowgirl who’s good at guns and also yelling in a terrible country accent.
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Just some more DND sketches. I’m trying to get into digital sketching more. The rogue is @kurocodile’s. Got some more portraits tomorrow too!
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Golden quotes from #TheTalesandTimes Pt. 1
Ranger: I’ve got friends in that town.
Bard: And what will these friends do? Let’s us get attacked by a giant wombat????
Ranger:
Ranger: … I don’t know what that is…
“You can’t reverse the plot twist, I have witnesses!”
“I don’t think he realised you’re supposed to take a cyanide pill so I think he just like…popped an ambien and went to sleep.”
Bard: I killed him with an impression.
Rogue: Literally bullied him so hard he died.
Rogue 1: We’ll introduce you to that mortal concept known as love.
Rogue 2: No thanks, I’m good.
“So nice of the war to wait for me to finish my chicken.”
My friend runs a Danganronpa themed D&D server and one of the players sent this in the group chat. I have no idea where they got it but I felt the need to share it.
You guys remember that part in Ghostbusters when the epa guy turned off the containment system?…
Does anyone else have to deal with your DM punishing you strictly because you beat their combat scene too easily or used a magic item too effectively?
In a game I’m playing we found a magic item that basically let me do blood bending, it was made by a necromancer and we took it as well as a few other fucked up magic items, like a hammer that shatters bones into dust on a nat 20, after we kicked his ass. The DM designed these items knowing we would find and use them and typically my gaming group rewards players for finding creative ways to use magic and solve problems.
Later we came up against this guy who was just the worst type of character, murderer, slaver, kept women as his “personal servants”, and was just in general not a person we wanted alive. We fight the guy and we aren’t doing great so I use the item and I asked to just straight up rip the blood out of his body and it does a lot of damage, this basically changes the direction of the fight.
After we kill the guy, our DM is clearly annoyed because I got two good hits on him with the item. He tells me that me using the item in this way was an evil act because it was so merciless and I had to make a roll for my alignment. I called bullshit because we were there to kill him and none of us were going to spare him regardless. He tried to argue some shit that him being a bad person doesn’t mean I get to do bad things to him.
Ultimately I asked why the fuck he gave us the blood bending item if he didn’t want us to use it in the most effective way possible. He tried to spin some philosophical bullshit about self restraint but he was clearly just mad that we bested his boss fight when he wanted us to flee or for the boss to get away.
He wouldn’t let the alignment thing go, so no my lawful neutral monk is lawful evil for no reason and I’m plotting how to further fuck over his campaign. I’m gonna start with the den of thieves he’s put in our city and see how far he pushes me after that. I will also be using the magic item much more often because obviously I’m evil now so it shouldn’t bother my character to do this now all the time.
Suggest to your DM to write a book instead of DMing. That way no one can ruin his story and all the characters will do what he wants. As a DM you need to prepare for players who will do the unexpected. Personally I love it when my players think outside the box and they are rewarded for being clever/creative.
Maybe it is time to talk to the DM or look for a new group. A DM has to make sure their players are having a good time. If they are not that isn’t a someone who should DM. Maybe consider becoming a DM yourself if you can’t find a new group. I’m sure the others in your party are also frusterated by this.
Best of luck with this. Hope it works out!
Context: So this was our first session of the campaign, and our Arakokra Druid was just killed for good. Our entire party had been getting awful rolls, and there hadn’t been a single nat 20. So the Teifling Warlock ( and my characters sister ) decided to make a deal.
Warlock OOC: Okay so we all know { Druid } is suffering…
Druid: [overly dramatic dying noises ]
Warlock OOC: Hey, { me } if I roll a 20, you have to buy us all drinks.
Me, making up a mourning speech: Alright, hit me.
Everyone went silent as our Warlock rolled, and to my dismay got the first nat 20 of the night. Needless to say, I bought everyone a drink.
My gnome after my crush had taken a tragic fate of being dragged by a gay merman.
-giant barbarian to the /vampire/ bard
- Our cleric, making the first roll of the entire campaign (it was a nat 1)
So… I was playing a one-shot with my friends and we were trying to kill this gorgon with increased hit points. I’m playing a wood elf ranger, and we have a gnome bard and a half orc rogue. Everyone is getting *garbage* rolls including the DM. Nothing but 3’s and 7’s. At this point we’re trying anything, and my friend who’s playing the half-orc rogue made the terrible mistake of asking us what we thought she should do.
Rogue: Guys, what should I do?
A small moment of silence.
Me: Go for double penetration up its ass with your daggers.
Rogue (laughing): Ummm… ok?
Bard (losing his shit): If you get a nat 20…
Rogue gets a nat 20. She then proceeds to rip its asshole apart. She was using 2 daggers and was getting sneak damage, so she rolled 2d6+2d4. She rolled 2 sixes, a two and a four, and then doubled it because of the nat 20. She dealt 36 damage and brought it down to 4 hit points. We go through another round of everyone missing their attacks, but then the rogue rolled an 18, which was enough to hit.
DM: So, how do you want to kill this thing?
The rogue then made a big mistake.
Rogue: Any ideas?
Me: climb inside it and kill it from the inside.
She did exactly that.
Dm: I’m not describing that… it’s dead… everyone roll a constitution saving throw to see if you throw up.
We all failed.
And that was how we saved the village.
- Druid upon seeing a singing woman in the woods at night.
Context: So our party had just freed a few salves from a mine, and one of the slaves happened to be a witch. She decided to give us some gifts as a thank you. The gifts consisted of magical items, some of which were pretty cool. Then, it was our half-elf Druid’s turn to receive her gift…
Witch: And for this brave half-elf….*pulls out a tiny bird shaped bell* The bird keeper’s bell!
Half-Elf: Ummm…thanks? *awkwardly receives it*
Half-orc: Ha! But that’s so plain compared to the other gifts!
Witch: On the contrary! With this bell, she will be able to summon a bird friend to aid her in battle.
Party: Huh?
Witch: And not any bird either. Using this bell, Aethel now has control over a giant dodo.
Party: A DODO?!
Aethel: *GASP* gUYS. IMMA NAME IT DODO BAGGINS.
Party and DM: ROTFL
My bard cousin used Vicious Mockery on a wooden door in her last game.
She then tried to seduce it but thankfully the DM stopped her.
“Howard, you were not distracted by the ruby, so you are the first to react to this horrendous little gerblin attacking this kleptomaniac dragging you by a rope”
-DM
- Rogue to the DM
- Blood Hunter to an acorn
