“My hunger I keep wrapped in lilacs / and in the memory of lilacs

at times / I have thought I would die of it.”

Conversations at All Hours, Nancy Mairs as seen in With Wings: An Anthology of Literature by and about Women with Disabilities’ Edited by Marsha Saxton & Florence Howe

“Pain strips us to the source.”

‘A Birth’ from the Collected Poems of Muriel Rukeyser

Inktober - Drowning - digital art on iPad Pro

Goodies By Glucose Diabetes Shop

Hey Diabuds I started a new business where I sell my diabetes themed art. Find stickers like these, mugs, shirts, framed prints, and more!

Thank you for your support.

isappho:

disabledlesbiansaresuperincredible!

disabled lesbians are super incredible!

A quick psa:

There is only one appropriate time to ask someone what their disability is. This being, if you are a medical professional who is currently treating them. There is litterally no other time when this is ok, if someone wants you to know. They. Will. Tell. You. Otherwise it is none of your business. This includes mental health problems.

Ways you can customise your mobility aid

I’m going to start this off by saying, mobility aids shouldn’t be used as a fashion accessory, however, if you need one. You have every right to make it look nice.

1. Stickers, this is probably the easiest and can be used on most mobility aids. You can get stickers online (amazon, red bubble etc.) Or if you find any in stores, that works to (obviously). They can also be low energy to apply.

2. Painting, this might take alot of energy for some people, but if you can, painting is a great way to make it look nice. For wheelchairs you can paint the back or if you have solid wheels you can paint those too. Crutches, walking sticks and walking frames can all be painted on the bar part (I’m sorry I dont know what its called)

3. Duck tape, a great alternative to painting.

4. Grips, these can be expensive but you can get grips for the wheels on wheelchairs and the handle on crutches, I’m not sure about walking frames.

I hope you find this helpful, I’m sorry if I got anything wrong, feel free to correct me if i did. I hope you have a good day :)

“Why should I go out of my way to make things accessible for disabled people, i never see them anyway.” There are way more disabled people than you think. Do you know why you dont see them very often? Because alot of disabilities are invisible, and the ones that aren’t. The people who use mobility aids, you dont see them very often because you aren’t making things accessible.

How hard is it to add a ramp? How hard is it to have a few tables at your restaurant that are made for wheelchairs to fit under? I’ve literally seen charities that raise awareness for accessibility that aren’t accessible. Build ramps, add items onto menus that accommodate allergies, make sure (if its needed) there is a lift that is working.

It really isnt that hard.

chibimonkey:

I got out of a very abusive, controlling relationship a few years ago with very little money to my name and moved back in with my parents. I’ve been saving to get an apartment, which is about $1100-1300/month here, ever since. I got a job that allowed me to save up, but I was also relentlessly harassed, bullied, overworked, and sexually assaulted to the point where I had a series of mental breakdowns that ultimately led me to quit.

I lost my new boyfriend a few years later due to my father’s interference. My father doesn’t want me here. Before I moved home he actually hadn’t spoken to me in three years, because my previous boyfriend was black. He says I deserve all the abuse “that n*gger” put me through, which included complete alienation of all my friends, complete control and exploitation of my finances, brief homelessness, and the death of my child. He tried to throw me out a month into dating my new boyfriend because “he can put you up now.” Between my job and my father, I was always stressed and miserable, and my boyfriend couldn’t take it. Then he got cancer, and told me he couldn’t deal with my problems on top of his own, he couldn’t take my father anymore, and we couldn’t do this anymore. We broke up. All his friends, even the ones who were supposedly my friend too, sided with him.

I lost a tooth at the beginning of the pandemic, right in the front of my face. It was a crown that had broken. I can’t afford to fix it - I need an extraction of the remaining tooth and an implant, which is $6k total. I only have Medicaid, which the oral surgeon doesn’t take and which doesn’t cover implants anyway. My self esteem tanked.

I don’t have any friends. I’m autistic and have never been great at making them in the first place, and wasn’t able to repair the friendships I lost because of my ex. I don’t talk to my extended family, who my father has been telling for years that I’m an ungrateful, horrible bitch he wishes he never had. They agree with him. Talking to my mother is like talking to a brick wall. She’s so burnt out putting up with my father’s abuse that she can’t even pretend to be a support for me. She never has been anyway.

Most of the time I feel like a glitch in a computer program. I’m not supposed to be here, so people ignore me until I cause problems (whether I actually did or not). No one cared when I was being abused by my ex, even when I came to work crying every day and couldn’t afford to eat. No one said anything in my defense when I was being harassed at work, and after I was assaulted HR told me it was all in my head when I’d report things like “Joe and Brian are telling people they fucked me in the stock room.” Sometimes I’ll vent on social media - both where I know people and where I’m anonymous - and get no response, except maybe “stop saying xyz about people, be grateful for what you have.” I had to delete Facebook because it added to my depression.

I can’t hold a job anymore. I’m terrified of people and being outside. I recently got a freelance gig doing transcription but the pay is very low and only per minute of audio, and I suffer from migraines which makes it difficult. I’ve posted on social media that I can also do editing and proofreading, with no takers. My health has always been very poor and my mental health is trash. No therapist near me takes Medicaid and I’m afraid to go out and talk to one anyway. I’ve been denied state assistance, though I was recently approved for food stamps. I can’t get cash assistance. I’m burning through all of my savings with student loans (which apparently can’t be put on hold because they’re all private) and the rent my dad demands.

On top of all this, my mother just told me she’s divorcing my dad, because he’s abusive and cheats constantly. She’s disabled and won’t be able to keep the house so she’s moving out. She’s the only reason I’ve been able to stay here. I’m pretty sure my father will kick me out, or tell me I can only stay if I become the maid and yard caretaker. He’s already trying to sell my car (which he had to put in his name because my ex destroyed my credit), which will leave me trapped in the house, and my mother has made it clear I can’t move in with her.

My cousins all have their lives figured out. They’re all married with kids, as I’m constantly being reminded of, with their own houses or apartments and good jobs. They’re not afraid of people, or struggling with money, or having a panic attack at 1am on a Wednesday because they don’t know how they’re going to get through the next week, let alone the next year. It feels like the cat is the only one on my side and the only one who actually wants anything to do with me. Ten years ago my father called me a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being, and it’s just… true.

I got out of a very abusive, controlling relationship a few years ago with very little money to my name and moved back in with my parents. I’ve been saving to get an apartment, which is about $1100-1300/month here, ever since. I got a job that allowed me to save up, but I was also relentlessly harassed, bullied, overworked, and sexually assaulted to the point where I had a series of mental breakdowns that ultimately led me to quit.

I lost my new boyfriend a few years later due to my father’s interference. My father doesn’t want me here. Before I moved home he actually hadn’t spoken to me in three years, because my previous boyfriend was black. He says I deserve all the abuse “that n*gger” put me through, which included complete alienation of all my friends, complete control and exploitation of my finances, brief homelessness, and the death of my child. He tried to throw me out a month into dating my new boyfriend because “he can put you up now.” Between my job and my father, I was always stressed and miserable, and my boyfriend couldn’t take it. Then he got cancer, and told me he couldn’t deal with my problems on top of his own, he couldn’t take my father anymore, and we couldn’t do this anymore. We broke up. All his friends, even the ones who were supposedly my friend too, sided with him.

I lost a tooth at the beginning of the pandemic, right in the front of my face. It was a crown that had broken. I can’t afford to fix it - I need an extraction of the remaining tooth and an implant, which is $6k total. I only have Medicaid, which the oral surgeon doesn’t take and which doesn’t cover implants anyway. My self esteem tanked.

I don’t have any friends. I’m autistic and have never been great at making them in the first place, and wasn’t able to repair the friendships I lost because of my ex. I don’t talk to my extended family, who my father has been telling for years that I’m an ungrateful, horrible bitch he wishes he never had. They agree with him. Talking to my mother is like talking to a brick wall. She’s so burnt out putting up with my father’s abuse that she can’t even pretend to be a support for me. She never has been anyway.

Most of the time I feel like a glitch in a computer program. I’m not supposed to be here, so people ignore me until I cause problems (whether I actually did or not). No one cared when I was being abused by my ex, even when I came to work crying every day and couldn’t afford to eat. No one said anything in my defense when I was being harassed at work, and after I was assaulted HR told me it was all in my head when I’d report things like “Joe and Brian are telling people they fucked me in the stock room.” Sometimes I’ll vent on social media - both where I know people and where I’m anonymous - and get no response, except maybe “stop saying xyz about people, be grateful for what you have.” I had to delete Facebook because it added to my depression.

I can’t hold a job anymore. I’m terrified of people and being outside. I recently got a freelance gig doing transcription but the pay is very low and only per minute of audio, and I suffer from migraines which makes it difficult. I’ve posted on social media that I can also do editing and proofreading, with no takers. My health has always been very poor and my mental health is trash. No therapist near me takes Medicaid and I’m afraid to go out and talk to one anyway. I’ve been denied state assistance, though I was recently approved for food stamps. I can’t get cash assistance. I’m burning through all of my savings with student loans (which apparently can’t be put on hold because they’re all private) and the rent my dad demands.

On top of all this, my mother just told me she’s divorcing my dad, because he’s abusive and cheats constantly. She’s disabled and won’t be able to keep the house so she’s moving out. She’s the only reason I’ve been able to stay here. I’m pretty sure my father will kick me out, or tell me I can only stay if I become the maid and yard caretaker. He’s already trying to sell my car (which he had to put in his name because my ex destroyed my credit), which will leave me trapped in the house, and my mother has made it clear I can’t move in with her.

My cousins all have their lives figured out. They’re all married with kids, as I’m constantly being reminded of, with their own houses or apartments and good jobs. They’re not afraid of people, or struggling with money, or having a panic attack at 1am on a Wednesday because they don’t know how they’re going to get through the next week, let alone the next year. It feels like the cat is the only one on my side and the only one who actually wants anything to do with me. Ten years ago my father called me a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being, and it’s just… true.

chibimonkey:

chibimonkey:

chibimonkey:

Today my applications for SNAP, medical assistance, and cash assistance were denied. So that’s great. 

In case you missed it, I am currently trying to raise money to escape my abusive father and move in with my disabled mother upon the finalization of her divorce. Neither my mother nor I can afford to live on our own. I moved back in with my parents at the start of the pandemic after suffering an unrelated mental breakdown. This was a mistake.

I do have a redbubbleshop, where I sell mostly stickers (Fruits Basket, Haikyuu!!, and Persona) and some wallpapers I’ve made as my only source of income, as well as a paypal - Laurrante@ gmail. com (no spaces). I am trying to raise at least $2,000 to cover the initial costs of moving into an apartment with my mother (rent, car insurance, utilities, groceries, and medication for both of us) without my father finding out. He doesn’t know about the divorce and we don’t want him getting wind of it. 

My father is abusive emotionally, verbally, and financially. Some of the things he’s done to us include: Refusing to put in the window AC units during a heat wave which almost put me and my mother in the hospital for heat stroke, threatening to poison, kill, or throw out our animals, insults the animals almost daily (calling them stupid, ugly, disgusting, etc, and threatening to eat them), constantly berate and insult us for not being able to work or “not doing anything” during the day, completely control every penny spent and meticulously monitor mail for packages, berate and insult us whenever he has a bad day at work or is annoyed, scare the shit out of our cats by screaming and stomping around and then yell at the cats for not wanting to be near him, and every day undermine everything we say, act like we’re stupid and don’t know what we’re talking about. My father also cheats on my mother, and has since the last time she got out of the hospital after heart surgery. He expects her to do all the housework, yard work, and grocery shopping with no help, and if I attempt to help or do it myself he yells at us both. He’s called me a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being. 

My father is extremely racist and attempted to disown me several years ago for dating a black man. The only reason I was allowed back in the house was because my mother begged. Our only relationship is his abusive commentary and my trying to ignore it. 

Please help my mother, myself, and our cats escape my father. Any amount helps at all. The last time I posted we received $175! I am adding more stickers to my redbubble shop, and am accepting donations through Paypal. It’s my goal to raise at least $2,000 without alerting my father.

(Pleasereblog this post, rather than like. Only reblogs spread posts through this platform. Likes only bookmark it for yourself and no one can see them.)

We’ve received $375 in total since Thanksgiving. Thank you so much to the people who donated, and please, if you can spare anything, even just a dollar, consider sending it our way. You can also check out my redbubble if you’re uncomfortable/don’t know how to just send money through Paypal.

We’ve received another $10 bringing the total up to $385.

Yesterday my father announced that we’re not doing Christmas because “I hate Christmas.” This means we aren’t going to the family’s holiday party (my dad’s decision was not influenced by COVID, which he thinks it’s a hoax), no Christmas dinner, no presents. I know my mother has already bought some small presents, and if this is anything like in years past, me receiving them will have my father screaming that I’m ungrateful, selfish, and a drain on his resources, and my father getting presents will have him screaming that my mother wasted money and he hates this day.

The truly fucked up thing is that if she doesn’t buy him presents, or if she and I exchange without him, he also pitches a fit about how we’re excluding him and hate him.

I’m hoping for this to be our last Christmas as a family. Please donate if you can so we can escape this hell.

I’m sorry to keep spamming your feeds. I’ve been denied government assistance again, and finances are extremely tight. My father controls every single penny my mother spends so she’s been saving small amounts from her grocery allowance to try and save for an apartment. On top of this, I also have my own bills to pay, and have an upcoming one of $100 that I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay.

We are both disabled women trying to escape from an abusive situation. To get a little more cash, I have a redbubble shop and we scan all of our receipts in Ibotta, but this has still only brought us up to $402 this month. I am trying to raise at least $1600 more to be able to move into a new apartment with my mother away from my father.

Here’s a link to my redbubble shop

PayPal: Laurrante(at)Gmail)dot(com)

chibimonkey:

chibimonkey:

Today my applications for SNAP, medical assistance, and cash assistance were denied. So that’s great. 

In case you missed it, I am currently trying to raise money to escape my abusive father and move in with my disabled mother upon the finalization of her divorce. Neither my mother nor I can afford to live on our own. I moved back in with my parents at the start of the pandemic after suffering an unrelated mental breakdown. This was a mistake.

I do have a redbubbleshop, where I sell mostly stickers (Fruits Basket, Haikyuu!!, and Persona) and some wallpapers I’ve made as my only source of income, as well as a paypal - Laurrante@ gmail. com (no spaces). I am trying to raise at least $2,000 to cover the initial costs of moving into an apartment with my mother (rent, car insurance, utilities, groceries, and medication for both of us) without my father finding out. He doesn’t know about the divorce and we don’t want him getting wind of it. 

My father is abusive emotionally, verbally, and financially. Some of the things he’s done to us include: Refusing to put in the window AC units during a heat wave which almost put me and my mother in the hospital for heat stroke, threatening to poison, kill, or throw out our animals, insults the animals almost daily (calling them stupid, ugly, disgusting, etc, and threatening to eat them), constantly berate and insult us for not being able to work or “not doing anything” during the day, completely control every penny spent and meticulously monitor mail for packages, berate and insult us whenever he has a bad day at work or is annoyed, scare the shit out of our cats by screaming and stomping around and then yell at the cats for not wanting to be near him, and every day undermine everything we say, act like we’re stupid and don’t know what we’re talking about. My father also cheats on my mother, and has since the last time she got out of the hospital after heart surgery. He expects her to do all the housework, yard work, and grocery shopping with no help, and if I attempt to help or do it myself he yells at us both. He’s called me a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being. 

My father is extremely racist and attempted to disown me several years ago for dating a black man. The only reason I was allowed back in the house was because my mother begged. Our only relationship is his abusive commentary and my trying to ignore it. 

Please help my mother, myself, and our cats escape my father. Any amount helps at all. The last time I posted we received $175! I am adding more stickers to my redbubble shop, and am accepting donations through Paypal. It’s my goal to raise at least $2,000 without alerting my father.

(Pleasereblog this post, rather than like. Only reblogs spread posts through this platform. Likes only bookmark it for yourself and no one can see them.)

We’ve received $375 in total since Thanksgiving. Thank you so much to the people who donated, and please, if you can spare anything, even just a dollar, consider sending it our way. You can also check out my redbubble if you’re uncomfortable/don’t know how to just send money through Paypal.

We’ve received another $10 bringing the total up to $385.

Yesterday my father announced that we’re not doing Christmas because “I hate Christmas.” This means we aren’t going to the family’s holiday party (my dad’s decision was not influenced by COVID, which he thinks it’s a hoax), no Christmas dinner, no presents. I know my mother has already bought some small presents, and if this is anything like in years past, me receiving them will have my father screaming that I’m ungrateful, selfish, and a drain on his resources, and my father getting presents will have him screaming that my mother wasted money and he hates this day.

The truly fucked up thing is that if she doesn’t buy him presents, or if she and I exchange without him, he also pitches a fit about how we’re excluding him and hate him.

I’m hoping for this to be our last Christmas as a family. Please donate if you can so we can escape this hell.

chibimonkey:

chibimonkey:

Today my applications for SNAP, medical assistance, and cash assistance were denied. So that’s great. 

In case you missed it, I am currently trying to raise money to escape my abusive father and move in with my disabled mother upon the finalization of her divorce. Neither my mother nor I can afford to live on our own. I moved back in with my parents at the start of the pandemic after suffering an unrelated mental breakdown. This was a mistake.

I do have a redbubbleshop, where I sell mostly stickers (Fruits Basket, Haikyuu!!, and Persona) and some wallpapers I’ve made as my only source of income, as well as a paypal - Laurrante@ gmail. com (no spaces). I am trying to raise at least $2,000 to cover the initial costs of moving into an apartment with my mother (rent, car insurance, utilities, groceries, and medication for both of us) without my father finding out. He doesn’t know about the divorce and we don’t want him getting wind of it. 

My father is abusive emotionally, verbally, and financially. Some of the things he’s done to us include: Refusing to put in the window AC units during a heat wave which almost put me and my mother in the hospital for heat stroke, threatening to poison, kill, or throw out our animals, insults the animals almost daily (calling them stupid, ugly, disgusting, etc, and threatening to eat them), constantly berate and insult us for not being able to work or “not doing anything” during the day, completely control every penny spent and meticulously monitor mail for packages, berate and insult us whenever he has a bad day at work or is annoyed, scare the shit out of our cats by screaming and stomping around and then yell at the cats for not wanting to be near him, and every day undermine everything we say, act like we’re stupid and don’t know what we’re talking about. My father also cheats on my mother, and has since the last time she got out of the hospital after heart surgery. He expects her to do all the housework, yard work, and grocery shopping with no help, and if I attempt to help or do it myself he yells at us both. He’s called me a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being. 

My father is extremely racist and attempted to disown me several years ago for dating a black man. The only reason I was allowed back in the house was because my mother begged. Our only relationship is his abusive commentary and my trying to ignore it. 

Please help my mother, myself, and our cats escape my father. Any amount helps at all. The last time I posted we received $175! I am adding more stickers to my redbubble shop, and am accepting donations through Paypal. It’s my goal to raise at least $2,000 without alerting my father.

(Pleasereblog this post, rather than like. Only reblogs spread posts through this platform. Likes only bookmark it for yourself and no one can see them.)

We’ve received $375 in total since Thanksgiving. Thank you so much to the people who donated, and please, if you can spare anything, even just a dollar, consider sending it our way. You can also check out my redbubble if you’re uncomfortable/don’t know how to just send money through Paypal.

chibimonkey:

chibimonkey:

Today my applications for SNAP, medical assistance, and cash assistance were denied. So that’s great. 

In case you missed it, I am currently trying to raise money to escape my abusive father and move in with my disabled mother upon the finalization of her divorce. Neither my mother nor I can afford to live on our own. I moved back in with my parents at the start of the pandemic after suffering an unrelated mental breakdown. This was a mistake.

I do have a redbubbleshop, where I sell mostly stickers (Fruits Basket, Haikyuu!!, and Persona) and some wallpapers I’ve made as my only source of income, as well as a paypal - Laurrante@ gmail. com (no spaces). I am trying to raise at least $2,000 to cover the initial costs of moving into an apartment with my mother (rent, car insurance, utilities, groceries, and medication for both of us) without my father finding out. He doesn’t know about the divorce and we don’t want him getting wind of it. 

My father is abusive emotionally, verbally, and financially. Some of the things he’s done to us include: Refusing to put in the window AC units during a heat wave which almost put me and my mother in the hospital for heat stroke, threatening to poison, kill, or throw out our animals, insults the animals almost daily (calling them stupid, ugly, disgusting, etc, and threatening to eat them), constantly berate and insult us for not being able to work or “not doing anything” during the day, completely control every penny spent and meticulously monitor mail for packages, berate and insult us whenever he has a bad day at work or is annoyed, scare the shit out of our cats by screaming and stomping around and then yell at the cats for not wanting to be near him, and every day undermine everything we say, act like we’re stupid and don’t know what we’re talking about. My father also cheats on my mother, and has since the last time she got out of the hospital after heart surgery. He expects her to do all the housework, yard work, and grocery shopping with no help, and if I attempt to help or do it myself he yells at us both. He’s called me a failure as a daughter, an adult, and a human being. 

My father is extremely racist and attempted to disown me several years ago for dating a black man. The only reason I was allowed back in the house was because my mother begged. Our only relationship is his abusive commentary and my trying to ignore it. 

Please help my mother, myself, and our cats escape my father. Any amount helps at all. The last time I posted we received $175! I am adding more stickers to my redbubble shop, and am accepting donations through Paypal. It’s my goal to raise at least $2,000 without alerting my father.

(Pleasereblog this post, rather than like. Only reblogs spread posts through this platform. Likes only bookmark it for yourself and no one can see them.)

We’ve received $375 in total since Thanksgiving. Thank you so much to the people who donated, and please, if you can spare anything, even just a dollar, consider sending it our way. You can also check out my redbubble if you’re uncomfortable/don’t know how to just send money through Paypal.