(feel free to reblog with your results !! also disclaimer that this is not in any way a diagnostic tool and is just for fun for people who already know they have npd.)
The Histrionic Personality Disorder awareness flag by @bpd-zant
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This is an HD rendition of the HPD flag made by a deleted Tumblr account. A reblogged post of the original can be found here, and the original post itself can be found here, however the link is broken. I’m simply providing it just as a reference. If someone is able to find an archived version of the original post, please let me know!
Sadly, because the OP deactivated, the stripe meanings are unknown. If I remember right, I think the bottom stripe was meant to represent cluster b solidarity. But, because people with HPD get so little in both the community and in general, I wanted to make an HD rendition, and be able to show people this gorgeous flag so that it can still be remembered and used.
Do you believe that empathy is a trait that is learned/taught?
Or do you believe that one develops it naturally as we grow (so long as that process is not disrupted by neurodevelopmental, phycological, or other external factors?)
Similarly, do you think it’s possible to teach yourself to better understand, or maybe even better experience empathy, if said issues were to occur?
Since most romantic relationships are between two individuals, triangulation would appear impossible. However, the narcissist will often bring in a third party for the purpose of playing their victims off of each other.
For instance, a married narcissist might start spending more time with a coworker or friend, which their partner would not reasonably object to. The narcissist then casually mentions how the coworker or friend exhibits a quality or behavior that is superior to their partner’s.
These comments make their partner feel inadequate, leading them to try harder to please the narcissist. This enhanced control is what the narcissist was looking for; it provides them with the admiration they crave. The coworker and friend will likely have no idea that they’re being used as a foil to the narcissist’s partner. They may not even express the qualities or behaviors that the narcissist is claiming. This idealized version of them is enough to torment and control the narcissist’s partner.
Triangulation is commonly used after a breakup or narcissistic discard and is a way for the abuser to wiggle their way back into the victim’s life. The narcissist might boast about their new relationship and how everything in it is better than with the victim.
They could also mention how their new love interest looks down on the victim, which directs anger away from the narcissist who may have fabricated everything about their new partner all along
in the wake of the Depp/Heard trial’s presence becoming a nearly inescapable anywhere on the internet, please try extra hard to be kind to yourself. if you know that it’s bad for you to keep reading, please keep scrolling & block any tags people are using for this garbage. i’ll be leaving this here then disengaging too.
last night i reached a breaking point after accidentally getting into a conversation with my roommates about what purpose it serves as a publicized event. people either seem to be taking sides in what they see as a soap opera or taking the “mature, detached” approach of denouncing any real-world effect. this isn’t just celebrity drama. this is something that will deeply effect the way we look at both domestic violence and mental health. after years of academic research on personality disorders & years of following the personal experiences of people with personality disorders, as well as learning to manage my own bpd symptoms, reading the misinformation that’s being reported is so heartbreaking
here’s what happened & why it’s scary:
•mental illness has once again been used in a court of law to not only support abuse accusations, but also to delegitimize the opponent’s testimony
•the specific mental illnesses in question are all Cluster B personality disorders (BPD & HPD for Amber, NPD for Johnny), some of the most historically misunderstood & stigmatized disorders in the entire field of psychology
•it’s already very difficult to find professional help that isn’t dehumanizing - it just got harder (therapists often flat out refuse to treat people diagnosed or suspected of having a personality disorder)
•this is many people’s first time hearing these terms - abusiveness is now an inherent connotation
things to remember:
•throwing around the words “borderlines” or “narcissists” instead of “people with BPD/NPD” reduces a person to a diagnosis & reinforces stereotypes
•turning psychiatric terms into adjectives & using them in phrases like “narcissistic/borderline abuse” is the same as describing someone’s behavior as “bipolar” or “schizo” when it negatively affects you - it’s demonizing & ableist
•linking a particular style of abuse to a mental disorder allows anyone to look at an abuser and diagnose them with a mental disorder
•it also allows anyone to look at someone with a mental disorder and assign them the status of an abuser
•people (not diagnoses) are responsible for their actions & the effects of those actions
•diagnoses do not dictate personal ethics
•no one is a bad person because of their diagnosis or a good person despite it
•any type of abuse can be perpetrated by anyone, neurodivergent or neurotypical
•every person is different - celebrities in a disturbing legal battle are NOT the faces of personality disorders or really anything else that the general population should relate to
•this will continue to be an incredibly triggering topic for some people with a history of abuse, people with a personality disorder, & especially people with both
•people with personality disorders are much more likely to be abused than neurotypical people (certain symptoms + neurodivergence in general put us at greater risk) - not all of us are victims of abuse, but the majority are (sources below)
•please be sensitive & respectful - we’re humans too & feeling like our existence is being criminalized is really upsetting
•please educate yourself before you speak on the experiences of neurodivergency - bias is nearly unavoidable but it’s also pretty easy to detect even if academic resources are too dense for you
Based off of @npdsafe s NPD pride flag! I would really recommend checking out its blog if you have/are questioning if you have NPD or if you want to learn more about NPD!
When it comes to ADHD&Autism, the mental health community is like “they can express their symptoms when around people, it’s who they are, they can’t change their brain, they can do nothing wrong☺️” but when any other type of neurodivergent disorder presents their symptoms that they can’t control, they are shunned and are told and scolded and yelled at to fix themselves or to leave or are abandoned and that everything is their own problem. (ex. mood disorders, personality disorders, trauma disorders) Not to mention, the “neurodivergent community” mostly only recognizes Autism or ADHD as neurodivergent and everyone else is excluded.
Having npd, along with other cluster b personality disorders, makes it so easy to suffer from other shitty bad habits/disorders. You gained a bit of weight? Boom: eating disorder. You realize you can’t control the actions/reactions of others? Boom: panic attack central. And the list goes on and on.
The constant attention and admiration from a clingy person is great and all, but once they start making it obvious that they don’t know their place, the fun is all over.
no matter what your stance is on the depp v heard trial, no matter what you think of the verdict, no matter what you think about them as individuals- there is absolutely no excuse for ableism.
i don’t care what side you’re on. you don’t get to demonise cluster b disorders just because some shrink said amber heard has traits of hpd and bpd. you don’t get to demonise cluster b disorders just because you think johnny depp was lying and amber is the real victim.
“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
— Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight (via books-n-quotes)
Why does Odin treat him like shit?
Because Odin is a textbook narcissist. I think @nikkoliferous has a link to a post for this
@lucianalight did an excellent five-part series on the abusive family dynamic between Odin, Frigga, Thor and Loki. I don’t have the links offhand, but @alstee has also done some great work detailing Odin’s narcissistic parenting.
Odin: we are no different than humans, we live and die just the same
Also Odin, a few scenes later: *sees Jane dying* ewww, get her out of here, why did you bring a human to Asgard??
Thor: dad, she’s sick and we can help her
Odin: humans get sick and die, it’s what they do
Thor: she’s my friend and the woman I love
Odin: did I not remind you Sif existed earlier in the film, come on son
the Aether inside Jane: hey what’s up
Odin: oh damn
Yeah, it’s not just Loki, it’s anyone that threatens Odin’s fragile ego and his distorted beliefs.
He didn’t look like he was even going to banish Thor until Thor insulted him.
He treats Frigga so nicely because she enables him. When she doesn’t…
Okay, I am not a psychologist disclaimer, I just find this topic interesting. (and sad and I also wish it was better known because this dysfunctional family dynamic is less rare than people think because it relies on everyone pretending everything is fine and normal)
Throwing a +1 recommendation to lucianalight’s series of posts, it’s what made me realize what exactly was going on with Loki and his family (I had already heard of NPD, and read a bit about it, but not made the connection to these characters).
Here is Odin hitting all the characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and a bit on how the disorder warps the way the person experiences reality:
(spoiler: that view does not actually match reality; the person believes they are the center of the universe while everyone else exists as props that cannot possibly function independently of them; they straight up alter memories or events as they happen to suit what they want to believe)
Here is a link to a website that analyses what people like Odin in real life react like when their children finally get fed up and walk away, it is very fascinating and I think it’s a good complementary reading because it’s all about what they say and believe with their own words:
(I’ve seen this linked in forums and twitter and it’s scary how many people go “This sounds exactly like my mother!”):
It’s a whole wild ride and I’m still astounded because I am fairly certain it wasn’t done on purpose in the films and yet they nailed it.
You could use the scenes where Odin, Frigga, Thor and Loki all interact with each other as examples of how the dynamic works to, like, a class of students, or something.
Not only that but you must affirm it when they aren’t even around and to others, either in person or when writing about this person. Fucking insane, you cannot control how people perceive and talk about you
“narc abuse doesn’t exist” doesn’t meant those abuses you refer to as narc abuses aren’t abuses, those are abuses (probably emotional abuse or something else), but you’re naming it wrong, that’s the problem
