Reminder that sexuality =/= gender expression. A straight man can express himself more femininely. A non-heterosexual man can express himself more femininely. A straight woman can express herself more masculinely. A non-heterosexual woman can express herself more masculinely.
Sexuality is what gender(s) a person is attracted to.
Gender expression is how a person shows and communicates their identity and their personal gender.
Dude! Kaitlyn Alexander has a guest spot as a nonbinary photographer on The Bold Type and they are great. Here’s hoping Pamela Dolan gets what is coming to her.
Your gender identity is not something you can see. It has to be expressed. We’ve been taught most of our life’s it just a binary, masculine or feminine like your body sex, male or female. But actually your sex isn’t as simple as your genitalia. There are also intersex persons, a person’s who might have both male and female genitalia or just female or just male.
Your gender is not your sex, your genitalia. It’s between your ears, in your mind. Your gender identity is separate and far more diverse in nature. It has hues and shades that can feel like it varies to some. Current theory is you can express your gender by the age of two.
Your gender expression is how you want to express yourself with clothes, jewelry, hair style, etc… It varies by culture and usually expressing your gender identity, your unique self, but not always.
Pressure to conform to cultural norms is ever present. But pushing someone too far from expressing their own gender identity can cause gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria,a distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity.
A person’s gender identity, like my own, leans more feminine than masculine. It would be easy if I had a female body, but I don’t. It’s male. Culturally a male dressing in female clothes is has not always been accepted in our patriarchal society. In the past it might have been seen by some as a man abandoning themselves to dress as the…”weaker sex.,” that men are superior to women.
Let me be very clear… I don’t believe a female, the average woman, is weaker than a male in the mind. This is an outdated concept that many religion’s still cling to and has influenced our society. And second… Society should stop ridiculing those of us who are transgender. We should not be culturally pushed, bullied, laughed at and humiliated, to conform to your concept of how to look and live our lives, what bathroom to use, etc…. Our 40% suicide rate should be a clue of how unfairly we are being treated.
So when you see a man or a woman don’t assume a gender. Don’t assume they are heterosexual. Don’t assume society has fairly allowed them to express their unique self. And when you do see a colorful head of hair or clothes, a man in a dress, a woman dressed like a man, or anything else, etc.. celebrate it. Smile warmly at them expressing themselves. We need more diversity and understanding to brighten up the landscape of our lives.
What’s important here is being true to who you are inside. And Candie is right. You should not try to resist girly, your gender identity. But I know you have heard those who look at you and say…
“Look at yourself. You’re a male. You look like a male. So be that male, be a man. Wear the clothes of a man.”
What’s exasperating by what is being said is this is so biased in our patriarchal dominate society. I appreciate all my sisters and what they contribute to our society. But that’s another discussion.
I can tell you with personal experience and decades of trying that I couldn’t change. And I honestly did try. I believed I could if I just tried and embraced being more masculine, be more of a man, and wear more masculine clothes. But like the Borg in Star Trek TNG said… “Resistance is futile.”
It’s called “Reparative” or “conversion” therapy, most often used to attempt to change a person’s sexual orientation. But it also been used to attempt to change a person’s gender identity. This is a banned therapy in many states.
Conversion therapy was found to be more harmful, the suicide rate and other issues, than helping anyone. You might be able to build up your mask further for a time, on the surface convince yourself, but your just harming yourself in the long run. Your just denying an important part of yourself you need to embrace.
The why is that your gender and your sex are different. For most persons your gender identity lines up closer to your sex, the body you inhabit. But your gender identity is not your sex organ. It’s between your ears in your mind. Gender is also not just the feminine or the masculine. It’s a spectrum, a rainbow of hues. I’m a mix of both leaning more feminine than masculine.
That’s why so called “Gender Reveal” parties should be called “Sex Reveal” parties instead. The doctor at your birth looks between your legs to see your sex organ, male, femaleorhermaphrodite. They can’t see your gender. They see your sex organ. You reveal your gender yourself. And it is said by the age of two years you’ll be able to.
Bottom line is being true to who you are inside is what’s important. And most men are most likely more manly than girly. And that’s fine. That’s being true to who you are. I’m not temping you to be girly. Embrace your manhood and be proud.
But for those of us who feel more girly than manly, and wish to wear those feminine clothes to reveal your girly side, don’t resist your true nature. Embrace it and enjoy your feminine side.
When I wear what some call “Girl Clothes” my gender expression is a woman no mater what is between my legs. To me they are my clothes. Clothes don’t have a gender. However to the outside world those clothes can express my gender and a clue to what my Gender Identity is. It’s really that simple.
But some don’t see it that way. They go to great lengths to complain and make laws to foster their own belief’s, to conform, how people should live.
Of course it should not mater who you’re attracted too. What goes on behind clothes doors is none of anyone’s business. But some persons are noisy busy bodies and clanging bells of noise trying to push their agenda.
But why such interest in whom I’m attracted to, if I’m heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bi, etc… What’s the big deal?
For a very long time there has been and continues to be a war on Gays and Lesbians, and that now includes Transgender persons. If you were not Heterosexual in your sexual orientation you were, and to some still are, a target. And so many still stay in the closet due to these hateful assaults on their character. It can effect getting the necessities needed to live in society.
For transgender persons this war gets even more complex due to our differing gender identity. Some still see you as who you were born as regardless of whats between your legs or the clothes you wear.
Bottom line is you will never please everyone no mater what you do. These hurtful persons will always be with us. Don’t let them steal your joy or your smile. But stay safe as your sisters have done.
Just hold on and savvy of your circumstances, those around you that you depend on. Your moment will come and doors can open if your ready to change your life’s path. Wear the clothes that express who you are and love those who love you for who you are. Do it with a smile and love in your heart for everyone. Be your true self.
“We Exist” is an upcoming documentary which explores the life of individuals who exist outside the gender binary while living in a binary world. The film intimately follows the life of Lauren–an individual who identifies as Gender Neutral–and the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes Lauren must go through just to be.
Get in touch! Website: WeExist.co Facebook: /WeExistMovement Twitter: @WeExistMovement Instagram: @WeExistMovement Contact: [email protected]
Newly passed Gender Expression, Gender Identity Protection Bill will amend the New York State’s Human Rights Law to protect all binary gender, nonconforming employees, and transgender employees from discriminatory treatment. And the law also amends the New York penal law to protect gender identity and expression in the list of statuses that are protected under the New York’s hate crime laws.
I’ll probably do at least a few more, I’m going for a swap where at least ½ is in the body of the person they’d *least* want to be (I think this would replace the third motive)
Kokichi and Maki are rather obvious
Shuichi and himiko, well himiko does not like doing things and Shuichi is the protag so everyone goes to him for everything (which continues after the swap and himiko has to keep reminding people she’s not him)
And well shuichi doesn’t really want anyone in his body or to be stuck in a person that’s fem presenting (dysphoria tm) but honestly overall it’s definitely more to upset himiko than him
Other swaps:
Kork-Tenko
Miu-Angie
Kaito- kiibo
Tsumugi- Gonta
Yes and no
Kokichi is very comfortable in his gender and expression of it, his feelings are more “this body has killed people, I have blood on my hands” discomfort than issues having a “female” body for awhile
Maki,,, isn’t attached to gender, she’s had to go undercover as men before and honestly wasn’t raised with gender mattering, she was a tool first. She definitely is a woman, she likes having that little bit of say in her life, but as long as people still use the correct pronouns and recognize her as female it doesn’t actually matter what body she’s in (the fact that it’s kokichi is highly upsetting though)
Himiko, has dysmorphia more than dysphoria, because y’know biology hasn’t changed. But she still can’t recognize herself in his body, it’s all off, long limbs that she’s constantly tripping over hair that scratches her neck in the wrong way, a face that moves just differently than she’s used to. It’s why she’s trying to make herself as close to how she looks in her body as possible, starting with as shown in the art getting a hat back on her head!
Men in dangle earrings women with shaved heads men in skirts women in suits men with makeup women with facial hair deconstructing the gender expression binary
SUMMARY OF SUPPORTIVE FEDERAL LAWS AND CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOR TRANSGENDER STUDENTS
First Amendment
The First Amendment protects both freedom of speech and expression.
Schools may not restrain student speech unless it will reasonably substantially disrupt the
school environment or harm others.1
Schools cannot prevent students from expressing their identity or discussing same-sex
families.
Based on a Supreme Court decision, the First Amendment prevents school districts from
censoring or removing books from school libraries “because they dislike the ideas contained in [the] books.”2
Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment
This clause guarantees every citizen equal protection under the law.
This clause is frequently used to protect LGBTQ youth in schools who have faced unfair
or discriminatory school actions.3
This clause was also used in Brown vs. the Board of Education to strike down state-
sponsored racial segregation in schools.4
Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972
Title IX prohibits schools that receive federal financial assistance from limiting or denying a student’s participation in any school program on the basis of sex.
Based on court cases, this can be understood to prohibit discrimination, including sexual harassment, based on sex stereotypes, sexual orientation and gender identity or transgender status.
For example, courts in Kansas, Connecticut, and New York have ruled that Title IX applies to gender identity.5
Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA)
The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) is a federal law that protects the privacy of student educational records.
FERPA specifically prohibits the improper disclosure of personally identifiable information (PII) from students’ records.
With regard to LGBTQ students, information relating to gender identity or sexual orientation may constitute personally identifiable information (PII) as an indirect identifier.6 Therefore, school officials should use caution and follow FERPA disclosure guidelines when considering the release of such information.
Disclosure by school staff has the potential to create a hostile environment at school and can negatively impact a student’s life at home if the family is not supportive.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” ―Harvey Fierstein
