We’ve all seen those studyblr posts. “Build discipline by committing to doing the same extensive routine every day!” they proclaim. “Remember that you’re worth it! Don’t hang around waiting for motivation!”

I mean, okay, you ARE worth it. Motivation IS fickle. But if you’re anything like me, these posts don’t actually teach you HOW to stop hanging around waiting for motivation. Instead, they fill you will crippling anxiety and a deep-rooted fear that maybe you’re just incapable and lazy and won’t ever amount to anything.

So here’s a list of baby steps, a lot which I’ve used to build my own discipline, both in school and in my professional life.

i. try to figure out what your roadblocks are

If you knowyou need to study for that midterm next week but you just can’t make yourself sit down no matter how hard you try, you’re not being lazy. Something’s preventing you from doing that thing. And if you can figure out what that roadblock is, you can more effectively try to combat it. This is easier said than done, but as with most things, if you practice asking yourself “what’s blocking my path forward?” you will find it easier to find answers. Here are some questions to start you off:

Do you have a mental illness that’s acting up? Are you overwhelmed because you don’t know where to start? Are you afraid your final product won’t live up to your exacting/perfectionist standards? Is your task so boring that you’d rather hang out with your friends instead? Are you afraid of disappointing someone, like a professor, a groupmate, or even yourself? Are you already late and thinking what’s the harm in waiting another day?

ii. set achievable goals

It’s so very tempting to reach for the stars, thinking that if you fail then at least you’ll land among the stars! But the reality is that you’ll probably crash back down to earth just as often, if not more so. Setting goals that you’re unable to achieve can be demoralizing and reinforce a belief that you’re just not good enough.

Instead, set yourself up for success! There’s literally no reason that you have to go big or go home when setting goals. Be realistic and set goals you know you can achieve, so that you start to reframe your journey as one paved by successes, not failures. No goal is too achievable. I’m serious: your goals list can say “get left leg out of bed; get right leg out of bed; stand up,” and that’s valid. Say “I’m going to write a sentence” instead of “I’m going to write an essay,” or “I’m going to show up to every lecture for this class” instead of “I’m going to get an A in this class.”

iii. start small and build up

This goes hand-in-hand with setting achievable goals. It’s often way less daunting to take a single step than to climb a whole mountain. And it’s completely okay to climb a mountain step by step. Instead of committing to a massive task all at once, like a drastic change to your routine or a huge project, start with the smallest step, like one step of that routine or outlining the materials you need for your project.

A helpful way to start small is to use the “two-minute method” (different from the “two-minute rule”). The way this method works is that you make a list of things you need to do, and you try to spend two minutes on each task, giving yourself permission to stopafter those two minutes are up if you want to. For most people, two minutes is a manageable amount of time, which can make an overwhelming task a little more surmountable. You’re not committing to doing the whole thing, after all, just two minutes of it. But more often than not, you’ll build up momentum, and you’ll find yourself working on your task for longer than two minutes. If two minutes is too daunting for you, start with 1 minute, or even 30 seconds, and build up.

iv. use positive reinforcement instead of negative reinforcement

Instead of tracking how long you’ve kept a streak and noting days you broke that streak (tracking failures), consider counting only the number of days you successfully achieved your task/routine/goal, even (and especially) if those days are nonconsecutive (tracking successes). Instead of withholding treats or screentime until you finish reading your chapter, reward yourself with a gummy bear every time you finish a paragraph. Practice thinking/speaking positive affirmations, like “I’m capable and I’m making an effort.” It may feel silly, but in forcing your brain to think affirming things, you train it to make these affirmations a part of its repertoire. Try to treat each day as a fresh start instead of stressing over continuing streaks/habits/projects you started yesterday. It’s easier to be disciplined when you associate discipline with positivity; it’s harder to be disciplined when you’re afraid that you might fall short and experience a negative consequence.

v. ask other people to hold you accountable

Outsource the effort of keeping yourself accountable to other people. This allows you to focus all your energy on actually doing the thing you are trying to do. Set up a standing study date with your friends to go to the library and work on your respective assignments together; ask your friends to hype you up and tell you cool things about yourself; if you function better with strict deadlines, ask your professor or adviser if they can work with you to create a timeline for that end-of-term paper so you have deadlines to work toward.

It is human nature to help and be helped. Most people feel good when they have a chance to help someone. You are not being a burden; you are doing the people who care about you a favor by giving them opportunities to help you.

vi. be gentle with yourself

This is another one that’s easier said than done, but it’s crucial to ensuring that you make progress instead of sliding back to square one. Give yourself grace and leniency. Forgive yourself when you don’t meet the standards you’ve set. Take breaks; eat and drink and nourish yourself. Work with yourself, asking how you can make things easier for yourself, instead of hounding yourself like an abusive parent. Encourage yourself to try again, just once, just for a minute. Use the carrot, not the stick. 

vii. do what works for you, not what the studyblr hivemind says shouldwork for you

Everyone is different and will benefit from different methods and strategies. Even my tips may not work for some of you. Maybe you work best with negative reinforcement; maybe it’s easier for you to motivate yourself by saying “I’m worth it and need to be more disciplined.” Ultimately, what matters is creating a path that will get you where you need to go. It doesn’t matter if that path is studyblr-approved or not so long as it works for you.

cozei:

ways to become friends with yourself:

• set boundaries with people. those who respect you, will respect them.
• allow yourself to accept good things. you deserve happiness and warmth and love.
• it’s okay to be a mess. it’s okay to not know what your next step is. it’s okay to be scared. trust that the universe has your back.
• remember that healing is not linear. you are not weak because some days are suddenly harder than others.
• consciously feel the world under your feet as you walk and the warmth of the sun on your cheek.
• do things you enjoy! even if they seem silly. even if you think you have no time. make time for yourself.
• take care of yourself. take deep breaths. take bubble baths. take too long admiring yourself in the mirror.

gl0wupgirl:

November Reset

Hey everybody, I’m back (I hope). The start of the school year has been a bit chaotic, and I lost a lot of the good habits I built last year. Starting on Monday, November 1st I want to do a month long reset challenge. In order to not make it super hard on myself, I am going to do weekly/biweekly progress check ins. I welcome anyone else who feels like they need to get back on track to join me! Reblog this if you’re joining! I‘ll try to reblog people who are doing it as well!

The goal is to rebuild healthy habits so that I don’t feel like I am drowning for the rest of my senior year!

Week One: reset sleep and homework schedule. Go to bed by 10:15 at the latest, and do HW the night it was assigned

Which was the hardest day to go to sleep on time? What was the biggest project you finished this week?

Week Two: Stretch or exercise every day and keep room clean/organized.

What do you do to keep your body moving? What is the weirdest thing you’ve found while cleaning your room?

Week Three: Read more — lower screen time. Finish all things on your to-do list for the week.

What is your favorite thing that you read this week? Did you finish anything you‘ve been putting off for a while?

Week Four: Nothing new! Just keep up the good work!

What is the best thing you did this month?

Overall Goals: Catch up on reading challenge, finish most of my college apps, flexibility. (Change these to your needs)

books-tea-school:

November Reset

Hey everybody, I’m back (I hope). The start of the school year has been a bit chaotic, and I lost a lot of the good habits I built last year. Starting on Monday, November 1st I want to do a month long reset challenge. In order to not make it super hard on myself, I am going to do weekly/biweekly progress check ins. I welcome anyone else who feels like they need to get back on track to join me! Reblog this if you’re joining! I‘ll try to reblog people who are doing it as well!

The goal is to rebuild healthy habits so that I don’t feel like I am drowning for the rest of my senior year!

Week One: reset sleep and homework schedule. Go to bed by 10:15 at the latest, and do HW the night it was assigned

Which was the hardest day to go to sleep on time? What was the biggest project you finished this week?

Week Two: Stretch or exercise every day and keep room clean/organized.

What do you do to keep your body moving? What is the weirdest thing you’ve found while cleaning your room?

Week Three: Read more — lower screen time. Finish all things on your to-do list for the week.

What is your favorite thing that you read this week? Did you finish anything you‘ve been putting off for a while?

Week Four: Nothing new! Just keep up the good work!

What is the best thing you did this month?

Overall Goals: Catch up on reading challenge, finish most of my college apps, flexibility. (Change these to your needs)

Big win for me today!

Sorted out all my faux fur and bagged up the scraps. I am always keeping the teeniest bits telling myself that “oh I’ll use this” but I’ve literally not seen this colour in years, so obviously that was a lie

Ive been telling myself to do this for ages. It’s the number one reason I don’t have space. Because I leave my things out and don’t throw away the bits and little pieces. This year I am making new better habits. I am changing my lazy depression habits and instilling newer better ones. It’s been good to see my apartment and personal space returning to something resembling an actual home again.

A year ago I was so unhappy with my body. Today, a year and some later, I’ve reached my goal weight and am so happy with my progress! It’s been hard, because my school habits are different than my home habits.. but I’m hoping to press-on with my determination and healthy choices once school starts up again and take it one day at a time! Lovin’ the fitness grind!

To Tell The Truth…

My wife loves sharing the story of how she told her daughter, when she was a toddler, that a black spot would appear on her forehead any time she told a lie.  It wasn’t long before she would find herself facing a precocious four year-old, with one hand plastered across her brow, telling her that she did pick up her books and games, all while standing in the midst of a pile covering the playroom…

View On WordPress