beatxme:

Chapter three

Lie down on the bed now. need to open your shirt…

your whole chest is pounding fast and strong…

You ask me to press hard with both hands. So much that I feel the movement of your heart between your ribs

After a while your heart feels weaker and weaker but still beating fast. I can hardly feel it.and suddenly…

HUMBTHUMBTHUMBTHUMB….

powerful beats that lift your chest and make you bring your hands to grab mine as if trying to hold your heart inside …

I remove my hands and press my ear against your warm chest…

Your heart struggles to recover the rhythm while you take a deep breath and hold my head that bounces with your heartbeat…

I could not help myself -pull myself out of the state of constant wallowing. You had left the town with a significant piece of my existence. I waited and I waited -knowing you’ld be somewhere far -laughing and drinking it away with your chaps. But I knew, deep in your heart, you could not get rid of the longing that needed my presence, somewhere close to you. The melancholy had befallen us. Our death was inevitable. 

Daily Fics

(Fics I read throughout the day yesterday and enjoyed)

[X]Heartfeltbysariahsue(@sariahsue)

Adrien woke with this face buried in the cat sweater that Ladybug had gifted to him last night. Maybe “gifted” was the wrong word, but he wasn’t sure what to call it when your best friend broke into your room in the dead of night, and then screamed nonsense and threw a present at your head when you accidentally caught her, before running away faster than a shadow.

Awww oh my god this is adorable!! ❤️❤️

Love this.

REEL FOR REAL

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https://www.lucadenardo.it/

i wake up and the first thing i think of is her, oh how i long for the touch of her soft skin

-6ampoet

my bones shatter with every melting beat of my own heart

i find myself lost in my own feelings, with words of hatred on my tongue

if loving you is a curse i will happily accept my fate

your face is poetry and my mind wanders to the lust of having you forever

if forever is infinite and you are the sun then i wish for eternity in your arms

i want the sweet sonnets of you wrapped around my body forever

and in my heart you will be my home and where ever i go i will have a piece of you to hold me in my darkest of times

Sometimes wank or discourse happens, and I’m like “fandom is a mistake,” but then I think about all the truly wonderful people I love that I met through fandom, people to whom I literally owe my life and happiness and I’m like “no, fandom is not a mistake, it is good. It is part of life and like life, it has both good and bad things in it, but on the whole, good job to past!me for finding my home and my people.”

Chapter three

Lie down on the bed now. need to open your shirt…

your whole chest is pounding fast and strong…

You ask me to press hard with both hands. So much that I feel the movement of your heart between your ribs

After a while your heart feels weaker and weaker but still beating fast. I can hardly feel it.and suddenly…

HUMBTHUMBTHUMBTHUMB….

powerful beats that lift your chest and make you bring your hands to grab mine as if trying to hold your heart inside …

I remove my hands and press my ear against your warm chest…

Your heart struggles to recover the rhythm while you take a deep breath and hold my head that bounces with your heartbeat…

i should count the things i know about you, put them in a list and label it reasons i fell in love with you

excerpts from stories i’ll never write

The Time I Spent Christmas Eve in Jail

Back in high school, a few of my friends suggested we chip in and go skiing for Christmas instead of spending it at home. No adults to tell us what to do. Wonderful! I got permission from my grandparents, and my friends received the okay from their parents. I mulled it over for days, not sure if I wanted to be away for the holiday, but I went. We were off to a ski lodge in the mountains two days before Christmas.

We had two large rooms, one for the guys and one for the girls, with a connecting door. There were two queen-size beds and three cots in each room. We unpacked and explored the lodge and ski area. The snow was coming down hard, with big fluffy flakes blanketing everything.

“Maybe we’ll get snowed in,” someone said. “Awesome,” everyone said in unison. “Maybe we won’t make it back to school until spring. Wahoo!”

The place was beautiful. The multi-colored Christmas lights blinked everywhere, and a 12 foot high decorated tree sat like a glowing jewel in the lobby. We could see the trail horse barn through the windows, which had strings of colored lights and a giant green wreath over its doors. It was like something out of a picture postcard.

I looked over at Cynch and smiled. Her name was Cynthia, but I called her Cynch. We grew up together and had become inseparable. I took her hand, and we walked outside. The air was so crisp, and the smell of pine was intoxicating. We looked out over the mountains, and I put my arm around her. She kissed my cheek and giggled as I gave her a hug.

Cynch smiled, dusted the snow off my shoulders, and looked into my eyes. “I’m glad you came. I didn’t think you would.”

“Me too. There was no way I was missing spending this time with you.” I pulled her closer and kissed her, and sparks tingled up my spine.

We filled the rest of the day with skiing, laughter, and a few spills. I love skiing, but I’m never good at it. My friends find that entertaining! By evening we were all spent and ready to crash. The next day was December 24th, so we turned in a little early, and I fell right to sleep.

I thought it was a dream. The ringing sound was so far away, echoing in my head, and then grew louder. Was it my alarm clock? After pounding the snooze button, the ringing continued. It was the phone. I looked at the clock, and it was 3am. I heard one of the other guys pick it up, and then I heard my name. No one calls at 3am unless something is wrong. My heart was pounding as I answered.

The line was a mess of static and was challenging to hear. It was my Grandmother. “Peter, Grandpa had to go to the hospital. They think it was a heart attack.” I felt frozen in place. “Can you hear me, Peter?”

“Yeah, I heard you.” A thousand screams ripped through my head. “I’m coming home right now.”

“No, Peter. The man at the front desk told me the roads were closed because of the storm. Stay there. I’ll call as soon as I know anything more. I love you.”

“Love you too, Grandma.” I didn’t know if she heard me because the static on the phone was louder. I hung up, and my friends were now in the room, so I told them the news.

Cynch pulled me aside, told me she was sorry, and asked if she could do anything. I grabbed her hands and squeezed. “I need to go home now… can you think of anything? If something happens to my Grandfather and I’m not there, I’ll never forgive myself.” I was having a tough time keeping it together.

She put her hand on the back of my neck and then hugged me close. She always knew how to calm me down. I could almost feel her thinking, and then she said, “Let’s talk to the man at the desk. Maybe you can use a snowmobile to get into town and hitch a ride from there.”

We got dressed and went down to talk to the desk clerk, but he wasn’t any help. He said he couldn’t let me use a snowmobile under any circumstances.

We walked over and sat on a bench near the window. “Damn! I feel so cut off here. My Grandfather might be dying.” And then I remembered the trail horses and got my not-so-brilliant idea. “Cynch, I’ll take one of the trail horses down the mountain into town. I can ask someone

for a ride the rest of the way.”

Cynch jumped up and said, “All right then. Let’s go.”

I got my stuff together, sneaked out to the stables, and chose a horse. He was a friendly beauty, and I still remember his name. It was Jock. I led him outside.

Cynch was waiting. “Can you help me up?”

“No. I can’t take you with me. I don’t want to get you into trouble. Besides, when they notice the horse missing, you can tell them why I took him and where I went.” I could tell it upset her, and she was angry with me.

“I knew you would do this. I want to come with… but fine. You call me right away when you get to town. Promise? Please don’t let me sit here and worry.”

“I promise.” Putting my arms around her, we hugged tight. I didn’t want to let go. “I love you, Cynch.”

“Love you, Peter, but I don’t like you right now.” She had a pouty lip thing going on.

I got up on the horse and looked back at Cynch. “I’ll just have to work extra hard to get you to like me again then.” She giggled, and it made my stomach tickle. “I’ll see you soon.”

I heard her whisper as I rode away, “Be careful, and don’t forget to call.”

It was light out by the time I got to town. I miscalculated how long it would take before anyone noticed a missing horse because a police officer was waiting for me. “Get down from there and come with me. What the hell do you think you were doing?” I knew the officer. I’ll call him Officer Mike. He was a friend of my Uncle John’s.

“Mike, Grandpa is in the hospital. I was desperate and had no other way to get to him.”

“I’m sorry to hear it, but you can’t just take a horse like that. Who do you think you are?”

“Mike, you don’t have to call Uncle John, do you?” The last person I wanted to know about what I’d done was Uncle John. The man did not like me, and I wasn’t too fond of him either. If I’m being honest, he was imposing and ornery and scared the crap out of me.

Mike smiled out the corner of his mouth as he led me to the station. “He’s already on his way.”

I wanted to puke.

Once inside, he led me to one cell and shut the door. “Your Uncle doesn’t want you wandering off now. The owner of the horse isn’t pressing any charges, but he wants to have a talk with you in a few days.”

“How long do I have to stay in here? I need to call my girlfriend at the lodge. She’s worried.”

“Until your Uncle gets here. Sit tight. Your girlfriend knows where you are and why you haven’t called.” He walked back out to the office. After a while, I heard the phone ring, and then footsteps. “Peter, that was your Uncle, and he won’t be able to collect you until morning. He asked me to tell you your Grandfather is better, and it was a mild heart attack, but he should recover fine. John wants you to stay here tonight.”

“I thought I wasn’t under arrest? I have to stay in here all night? Come on, Mike. Let me out of here, please. I want to see my Grandpa.”

“Can’t do it. You’ll be fine here. I’ll bring you some dinner. There will be an officer here all night if you need something, and I’ll look in on you later too.” He was about to leave but turned back and looked at me with concern. “You should think about what you did. It was wrong. What if you would have hurt the horse, or worse? What if you froze to death out there? Would your Grandfather need something like that right now?”

“No, he wouldn’t. I am sorry, Mike.” He turned and walked out, leaving me with my thoughts and worries. I wished I could talk to Cynch.

After dinner, the day’s events caught up with me, and I felt exhausted. The bed looked rickety, so I sat down on the floor and went to sleep. I had awful nightmares. The night seemed endless, but morning came, and Uncle John picked me up.

We didn’t talk much during the drive. I was still miffed about being locked up in jail all night. He broke the silence first. “What are you going to tell that man? The owner of the horse.”

“I don’t know. The truth, I guess. I’ll just tell him the truth and hope he understands.”

“That’s a good man, Pete. The truth is always best. Most of the time, anyway. What will you tell your Grandpa?”

I

sighed and squirmed in my seat. “Don’t know. I will disappoint him. He’ll think he didn’t raise me right or something. I’m not a thief. I panicked and didn’t think it through.”

Once at the hospital, I ran up the stairs and hightailed it to his room. He looked great for having just had a heart attack. It relieved me no end. “Merry Christmas, Grandpa! I gave him a gentle hug.”

“Peter! Merry Christmas. What are you doing here? I thought you were skiing.”

“Grandma called and told me what happened. I had to come and see if you were all right.”

“But how did you get here? We heard the storm was bad.”

I knew I couldn’t keep it from him forever, so I took a deep breath, “I need to tell you something, Grandpa. I did somethi —”

Uncle John interrupted, “The kid was with me. I would have gotten him here sooner, but I had a work thing crop up yesterday, so Pete stayed with a friend. I picked him up this morning, and here we are.” He looked over and gave me a wink.

Grandpa studied us, his eyes darting from me to my Uncle, and then he laughed. “You two have a secret, and that’s okay with me. I think I’m getting out of here today, and I’m just glad you’re here.”

I glanced at Uncle John and smiled. Sometimes, just when you think you have someone figured out, they surprise you. Most folks have things buried deep within them you can uncover if you take the time to look. I found kindness Uncle John had hidden there all the time. We got along much better after that. Oh, and Cynch forgave me too! =]:)

The heartaches for mistakes a human makes for loving another human.

(✿◡‿◡)-DjDt3
That’s Stanky Productions
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