Over text (3)

Slytherin:Answer your phone.

Ravenclaw:Wait a minute, I can’t find it.

Slytherin:Got it

Slytherin, after several minutes: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, rave.

Gryffindor: Did you just… agree with me?

Slytherin: Oh I wish I could take-

Gryffindor: Nope! You said it! No take-backs!

Ravenclaw: There is no such thing as a stupid question.

Slytherin: Whatever you say

*A few days later*

Gryffindor, to Ravenclaw: What’s in mango salsa?

Ravenclaw, to Slytherin: I stand corrected.

Over the phone

Ravenclaw: How’s the meeting??

Slytherin:I want to stab everyone.

Ravenclaw: Oh, well don’t get blood on your outfit. We have a dinner reservation at seven.

Slytherin: Love you for enabling me.

Ravenclaw: Love you too.

I posted a quote on my main again accidentally -_-

I accidentally uploaded this to my main lol :/ (I deleted it afterwards btw)

After accidentally tearing up a page in Ravenclaw’s book

Gryffindor: I did a bad thing.

Slytherin: Does it in anyway impact Me or Huffy negatively??

Gryffindor: Not really.

Slytherin: Then suffer in silence.

Sunday Morning

Slytherin, walking in with a bag of bread: Who wants french toast?

Gryffindor:Ohh, ill have some.

Slytherin, handing the bread to gryffindor: Me too, eggs and milk in the fridge.

Gryffindor: -_-

Hufflepuff : I have decided that I’m, in fact, a snack. People are just not hungry.

Slytherin, under their breath : I’m starving  

My Mom just called Dumbledore “Kadalf” …not even Gandalf. No. “Kadalf”

Draco:Awe Granger, you have a crush on me? That’s embarrassing. 

Hermione: We are married.

Draco:Still.

Draco: Why does everything bad happen to me?

Harry: It’s happening to us, too, Draco!

Draco: Well, not really, ‘cause you’re not blonde.

Y/n:That is a lie, Draco. 

Draco:You shut up right now!

Sirius:Y/n, did you happen to hear my announcement? 

Y/n:I hang on every word.

Sirius:I’m going to assume that is sarcasm.

Y/n:Correct.

Sirius:So you didn’t.

Y/n:Barely listening now. 

Harry:*snickers*

Draco:Oh my god, Y/n, I just realized I had a bad childhood. 

Y/n:Yeah, I know.

Draco:What do you mean, you know?

Y/n:Look at you.

Draco:What do you mean, look at me?

Y/n:Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don’t stand like that.

Fred:  I am the smartest, most skilled employee in this place. 

Y/n:Is your hand stuck in that vending machine?

Fred:I paid for my chocolate frogs. I am going to get my chocolate frogs.

Y/n:I can’t believe you’re single on valentines day. 

Harry:Well, you know what they say. Roses are red, violets are blue…

Y/n: Don’t-

Draco, Fred, and George: *standing on top of a table holding up bottles* VODKA IS CHEAPER THAN DINNER FOR TWO

Fred:Why are you smiling? 

Y/n:Why can’t I just be happy?

George: Ron tripped and fell in the parking lot this morning

Tom: I have an Idea!

Y/n: No murder. 

Tom: I no longer have an idea. *turns away*

Y/n: Oh my god. Okay so you are bleeding out and will need a transfusion. What is your blood type?

Draco: *on the bathroom floor* B…Positive. 

Y/n: I’M TRYING BUT YOU ARE BLEEDING A LOT 

Draco: YOU READ MY DIARY?!

Y/n: At first I didn’t even know it was your diary. I thought it was just a very depressing handwritten book. 

Ron: Bloody hell where did he come from? 

*Y/n and Draco sitting next to each other laughing* 

Hermione: Malfoy Manor of course. Where else would he have come from Ronald?

Ron: No, I mean today, at this table, in the great hall, suddenly into our lives?

Y/n: I had some thought’s I wanted to share with you all. 

Draco:

Ron: 

Harry: 

Y/n: Draco you slept with so many girls you are starting to look like one. Boom roasted. 

Draco: What the fu-

Y/n: Ron? Where’s Ron? Oh, there you are. I couldn’t see you behind the mountain of food. Boom roasted. 

Ron: …

Y/n: Harry, I can’t decide between an orphan joke or a Voldemort joke. Boom roasted.

Harry: *sighs*

Y/n: *walks into the Slytherin common room* Hello, Draco. Make anyone cry today?

Draco: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30. 

Y/n: I accidentally slept with Draco

Harry: You accidentally slept with Draco? 

Y/n: Yes. 

Harry: I don’t understand, did you trip over something?

Draco: I would walk through fire for you.

Y/n: awe draco-

Draco: Well, not fire because it’s dangerous. But a very humid day.

Draco:

Draco: But not too humid because my hair.