#i need sleep
Sir, the fetal position is my friend
“It is 3 am. Let me sing you the song of my people! MROOOOOWOWOW!”
Virgil is Finding Emo and Roman is Twinker Bell
“Of course I know, from within, that I want to take part in recording over various things, work from a script, but recently there’s been various experiences that made me think, ‘ah, the way people recognize the seiyuu industry has changed, hasn’t it?’ Just like how we’re doing a TV show like this, or if one day you’d have to sing songs - not as a character, but as yourself, or if someday you’ll do MC - be an MC for radio, or take part in events, and stuff. And aren’t those fun in their own way?”
Happy birthday, Kousaka Atsushi! This is an English-translated transcript of the extra video of his cross interview for the March 13, 2017 episode of Animemashite!
You can see their original answers for the interview here!
Legend:
- Interviewee: Kousaka Atsushi (A)
- Interviewer: Kawanishi Kengo (K)
A movie/book/manga you recommend|Nakayama Atsushi’s “Nejimaki Kagyu”
K: Nejimaki Kagyu. Well, I know this one too. I’d read it.
A:Really?
K: Mm. Kagyu-chan.
A: I liked it a lot.
K: What about it did you like?
A: The way it somehow crashes into you with impact? Like - I had never seen [drawings] being used so boldly in such a manner, was what was in my head when I was reading it. Such a cute character was there, when you look at her she’s really cute, but sometimes when her expressions would change, it seems like the [way the faces were drawn] would change eras, too, and just when it seems like that’s become their face for the second half [of the story], uh, the eyes would get reaaaaally large, ah, somehow, within me I really felt as if the pictures were flowing - as I reread it, rereading it as an adult, I thought that it may be the first time I’ve been excited over something this much.
K:Ehhhh.
A: That’s how I feel.
K: Certainly, though… Well – the facial expressions change very rapidly, that’s good, I thought when I saw it, but, somehow, recently, that author has a new work, don’t they –
A: Ah. Urataro, right?
K: Yes yes yes. I’ve read through that one quite a bit too.
A: It’s interesting.
K: Right? Really good. Mm.
A thing you’re hooked on lately (your hobbies, etc.)|Marvel Heroes
A: You know…what I think makes them fresh to me is that their heroes have things Japanese heroes don’t have. …First off, there’s the protagonist – they’ve got a lot of protagonists who aren’t young boys.
K: Ah, right. Adults…
A: Yes, adults. …And also, even if the protagonist is a woman, because she’s a hero, when she transforms, she becomes a gorilla!
Both:*laugh*
A: Isn’t THAT exciting?!? This, WHAT development is this gonna lead to?!?!?!? kind of feeling. Isn’t it exciting??
K: …that’s…right… They have that green giant too,
A: Yes yes yes yes. Those times when they’re really supposed to hurt, but they have [healing powers] are also interesting - or so I think. The stories have been going on for SO LONG, so they’ve come up with loads and loads of plotlines, even some that would make you think “is it REALLY okay to be using THIS topic???” There’s also stories that make you go “WHAT’S HAPPENING – AHH, SO THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON,” too. And that’s interesting.
K: *points to camera, in Kansaiben* They’re never gonna call you up, yanno. lol
A: WHAT THE HELL???? I WANT to be a Marvel hero!!!!!
Describe yourself in one phrase.|lazy
K: Somehow, it’s understandable, isn’t it.
A: My hips feel so heavy.
K:*laughs*
A: My hips feel just about as heavy as my ass.
K: So this isn’t ‘cuz of your age?
A: ‘Cuz of my age – it’s been like this since waay back.
K: Way back!
A: Way back. I’ve only ever had [personal] growth when it comes to work. …So I guess, because I give my all in that aspect, I’ve become like this? Is what I think.
K: What are you lazy at? Stuff you’d go “I don’t wanna do this” at –
A:Everything.
K: *laughing* E-everything??
A: On off days all I wanna do is sleep at home.
K: Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
A: Whenever I have time off I just want to sleep.
A:*beat*
A:…yup.
K:*laughing*
A: OI EXPOUND ON THAT!!!! Get to know me better!!!!
K: …I dunno how I’m supposed to expound on THAT, though…
A:*laughs*
A seiyuu who shocked you|Nozawa Nachi-san and Yajima Akiko-san
A: Nozawa Nachi-san was, I used to hear him originally as a dubber, but he also dabbles in anime stuff, uhh…like that thing that had been rerun, Cobra.
K: Ah, Cobra, huh?
A: I got to watch him in that, and also, in Star Wars as C3PO. He didn’t change his voice all that much, but he’d managed to change how he portrays the characters by that much. He gets characters who are a bit mad, calm characters too, that was such an impact to me as a little kid. Also, Yajima Akiko-san – when I was a kid, I ended up unintentionally watching Crayon Shin-chan, and then, when I watched Gundam Wing, I saw the cast list – I wonder if I was in fourth or fifth grade of elementary at this time or something, because by that time I paid attention to the cast lists of anime. Because I was curious as to who was playing who. And then, when I saw the cast list, the heroine Lily was portrayed by Yajima Akiko-san. And I was thinking “where did I see this before? I’m pretty sure I saw this name before…” Days passed, and then suddenly I came across Crayon Shin-chan, and on the cast list, Crayon Shin-chan was: Nohara Shinnosuke – Yajima Akiko-san. And I was like – EH? EHH????? …I didn’t notice ANYTHING at all! “Eh, people can change their voices THAT much??” and that was another shock I remember.
K: It really is…
A: Child actors are AMAZING!
K: They ARE!!!!! SO good.
A: They’re PERFECT. And what’s more, they have to continue acting in that child’s role for so long, too.
K: Yes yes yes. That kind of thing – it’d be nice to try out, huh.
A: Right…I think I can’t pull that off though?? Hahaha! Well, let’s go at things one by one, shall we?
Something that makes you glad you’re a seiyuu?|I think that my work is fun.
A: Of course. You’re chasing after your dream. I think that it’s no good if you’re not having fun doing it?
K: Maa, ne…
A: There’s a lot of things that make me feel frustrated, and, and there’s also a lot of things that make you think “should I just quit?”
K: There really are.
A: There are, but…when you’re actually recording, or when you’re somewhere like this *vaguely gestures around the Animemashite set*, and when it makes you feel, “ahh, this is really fun,” I think that’s really a joyful thing to have.
K: Because you really do like this job, don’t you.
A: I have my worries, but, the extent of wanting to do - mm, I think the feeling of wanting to do more overtakes all those.
K: I understand.
Anime character you fell in love with?|Kamigishi Akari from “To Heart”
A: *deadpan* I love her.
K:*laughter*
A: The hell are you laughing at.
K: No no no. No no. It’s just – I know To Heart. I know it, but –
A: Did you play it?
K: Did I? I wonder? I think I just saw the anime, though…
A:Ahh…
A: *in a very quiet, serious tone* Please play the game.
K: AHAHAHA – who is that supposed to be?? *Kansaiben* Who are ya supposed to be???
K: Anou, I might be remembering this wrong, but Kamigishi Akari-chan is, the one with the pink hair?
A: I think it’s red hair?
K: Red, huh? That red hair has, uh, what was it, a hairband?
A: Yes yes yes yes.
K: YES YES YES.
A: During an event though, she changes her hairstyle halfway through. Uses a hairband. Changes those pigtails.
K: I remember now.
A: Somehow, there was a lot – I wonder if I was a sixth grader, when I started playing Tokimeki Memorial? Well, I dabbled a bit in bishoujo games and stuff, and the childhood friend heroine, when she would change her hairstyle, somehow it felt new. And the way you’d look at her would change, too. And I felt that was very realistic of them. And gradually, you’d get along better and better with that childhood friend – well you’ve always been close to her, but as time went on the love you had for her in your heart would change. It’s a novel game, so eventually you’d get to read what her real feelings were, and that made me go all mushy inside. Hehehe! “Ahh, so this is what love is,” I ended up thinking.
K:AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
A: *averting his eyes* Yeah…it’s embarrassing for me to say, but, that was love. Yes.
Both:*laugh*
What kind of seiyuu do you want to be in the future?|An entertainer who is an actor at heart
A: Well…when I decided to be a seiyuu twelve…thirteen years ago, the industry didn’t have the elements it has now - where you show your face, sing songs, and even go dancing, right?
K: Yeah…I guess…we’re almost reaching the point where we’re asking “are we idols?” right now, aren’t we.
A: I know, right? Especially male seiyuu, they didn’t do this kind of work before.
K: They didn’t.
A: That’s why what I aimed for myself is - as an actor, a seiyuu, um, of course I know, from within, that I want to take part in recording over various things, work from a script, but recently there’s been various experiences that made me think, “ah, the way people recognize the seiyuu industry has changed, hasn’t it?” Just like how we’re doing a TV show like this, or if one day you’d have to sing songs - not as a character, but as yourself, or if someday you’ll do MC - be an MC for radio, or take part in events, and stuff. And aren’t those fun in their own way? Of course doing normal seiyuu work is already nice, I think. But inside you, on your part - mm, realistically? At the root of it? “I’m doing this as an ACTOR,” you should never forget this. Like…you portray an idol character, you dance and sing on stage, fans scream over you - but that doesn’t mean you’ve become an idol, and I think that shouldn’t be forgotten. In that vein, even if you’ve become an MC, and had come up with a lot of good conversations, “ah, I’m not an MC, and I’m not a comedian either”. Because at the root of it is being an actor. And so I think that as an actor, you’ve taken part in all these other things. So going on forward, what I’ve decided on is - I wonder if I should call it an entertainer rather than an actor?
K: I understand…yes yes yes.
A: Or rather, someone who is an entertainer through [their capacity as] an actor. That’s what I’m aiming for.
K: I see…you said a lot of good stuff…
A: Well it’s - isn’t it THAT kinda corner??
K:*laughs*
Question from Kawanishi Kengo: How could you describe how it’s been since you graduated up to now? |I can’t describe it in one phrase.
A: Way back, I’d had feelings that went “if it comes to scenes, if it comes to the emotions behind the scenes, I’ll never lose to anyone.” But of course you could never win against the ones before you, you’d wonder why, how you could make it okay, and get all depressed, I guess? I got depressed.
K: I see. So now, after those failures - if we call them failures?
A: Just like you said earlier, we should take it easy. What I was taught kinda fits, but it’s - instead of just wanting to be “enough”, aim for being “good enough”. Don’t just be “enough”, be “good enough” instead. So it’s fine if you feel like you have to take down notes, because you should go at your own pace; I’ve read a lot of books and watched stuff on TV and, thinking “ahh so such things exist,” absorbed them as part of me. And…going in that manner, I realized, mm, I guess, mm, I am me, and they are them, that’s why I’ll never be the same as other people. So why did I even think of comparing myself to other people, in the past? That’s why, hmm, I wonder if I got rid of that habit now…
K: Mm…I see.
A: I think people can’t help but compare themselves to others though? No matter what.
K: I guess?
A: In auditions and stuff, no matter what you do, winning and losing…it sounds odd to think about it as “winning and losing”; just because you passed [an audition stage] doesn’t mean you can relax. And even though there are things you can compare, fundamentally speaking…that kind of…feeling where you’re always wondering how you would stack up against someone, I [think] I’ve lost that.
K: Mm. Then…I guess it’s something you understand now after becoming an adult, huh.
A: I wonder if it is…Mm. As long as you focus your strengths on it –
K: That’s important, isn’t it? Mm.
A:Mm.
K: Of course that kind of…right? How you were during your first recording? That kind of voracious performance? You can’t go back on that.
A: Well, I guess I could think that I’m thankful things actually happened that way. The kind of voracious energy hiding under the nervousness of my past self – do I still have it now? Haha. Don’t you ever think about that?
K: Ahh…I guess I have those [kinds of thoughts], right? That kind of – somehow – freshness?
A: The thing that kinda. Shows on your face.
K: - there are times when something like that breaks through, mm.
A: Ahh, that…during the times I would see the script, there would be a part of me that made way to say “ah, I can’t do that~” but. If only I could meet the me back then, I’d like to tell him. “Have more confidence, and just give this a try.”
K: I see.
A: I didn’t have confidence [in myself]. There was a part of me that thought “I won’t lose!”, but there’s also a part of me that has no confidence. It’s been like that for a long time. Mm. Something like that?
Episode #141: Kawanishi Kengo’s impression of Kousaka Atsushi
…yes. Ehhh…we’ve finished two episodes now, ehh…what should I say? Twel…ve years ago, I guess? Somehow, just this –
(In the background, Kousaka throws his cardigan open. Staff-san laughs. Kawanishi bursts into laughter.)
Just that…that I was able to talk like this. With Kousaka-kun. It’s. During that time, umm, I didn’t know about him. We were in different classes. There were rumors spreading – ah there’s this guy over there and that guy is good, and stuff, so, yeah?
(Points to his temple. Probably referring to Kousaka’s glasses?)
I’ve heard about him, but…somehow…
(In the background, Kousaka has long since thrown his cardigan to the floor. He is dancing some weird kind of dance. Staff-san is still laughing.)
Right now, where we got to meet up, and talk. Getting to hear from him – anou…
(Kousaka continues dancing. Staff-san is still laughing. Kawanishi bursts down laughing as well.) I’m curious…
Right. I know now those, the kind of things that say what kind of person he is. Mm. That he knows [how to deal with] the people around him and stuff, mm. And of course, our similarities, right. That we’re both from the Kansai area. We graduated the same year from the same school, too. From here on out, if we could ever work together again, in lots of kinds of work –
(Kousaka is striking pinup poses and had just pretended to take his shirt off. Multiple staff members are laughing. He at least pretends to be embarrassed.)
- It’d be good, I think…I wonder, what the hell is happening over there, I will never understand what the hell that kid is doing, mm,
(Kawanishi sucks in a deep breath. Behind him, Kousaka is miming yelling at him.)
Maa, I guess that’s good enough. Un. Well, but if you’d cheer on Kousaka Atsushi and Kawanishi Kengo, it’d make us glad. We’ll be in your care. Thank you very much.
- my translation index
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATSUSHI!!!!
- jesus christ the man. talks a mile a minute. i know i always say i never promise 100% accuracy but ESPECIALLY here - transcribing this DRAINED me. transcribing this AND attempting instant translation in my head???? god. why did i do this.
- just like with kawasan’s extra interviews, this was supposed to be a vidsub, but that means i have to watch the video again to time it and a third time to sub it and oh my god. i am so, so tired. why are you both february babies WHY RIGHT AFTER EACH OTHER.
- that being said though, i still stupidly might use this for a vidsub someday, so please do not redistribute this translation anywhere!!
- thanks for reading!!
a year ago, i would have died for certain people.. a year later, most of them are dead to me.
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
sometimes suffering is just suffering. it doesn’t make you stronger. it doesn’t build character. it only hurts.
anyone else feel like they’re at the point where they don’t even know what to say or do anymore? like there’s so much going on in my head and i’ve just lost control to pretty much everything. tired of love, tired of hate, tired of life. i just don’t see a point anymore. someone once told me “the meaning of life is what you make it” but idk what to make of it anymore. it feels like an endless cycle of pain and heartache and constant restlessness. can’t sleep anymore. i feel like i’m at this constant war with myself and i’m stuck in a changing mental maze. if anyone reads this, just know if you feel the same, i care about you. idgaf who you are, i love you because i know what it feels like to feel constantly isolated from reality, like the elephant in the room.
