#incorrect hp quotes
Ravenclaw: There is no such thing as a stupid question.
Slytherin: Whatever you say
*A few days later*
Gryffindor, to Ravenclaw: What’s in mango salsa?
Ravenclaw, to Slytherin: I stand corrected.
I posted a quote on my main again accidentally -_-
Hermione: What’s your preferred study method?
Harry: coffee and tears
Hermione: How about we try flashcards?
IG|| @bookloving_wisegirl
Gryffindor: What are your three best qualities?
Hufflepuff: I’m gay. I have soft hair. And sometimes I cry because I love my friends.
Slytherin: I’m also gay. I’m full of rage, and nothing can stop me once I’m in motion.
ravenclaw: i’m asexual. i look like a tiktok eboy, but i’ll actually care about your problems.
*james and lily on a date in hogsmeade*
james: you know what’s on the menu?
lily:what?
james: me ‘n’ u
lily:
sirius, remus and peter:
snape, spying:
lily: [walks out]
*at st mungos*
healer: any allergies?
draco: cold bathrooms, muggle clothing, unambitious men…
healer:
draco: oh and shellfish
“If you’re secretly in love with me, you should tell me. Not because those feelings might be reciprocated but because it’s really good for my ego.”
- Draco Malfoy probably
remus: i’d really like to know what goes on in sirius’ head. he just says the strangest things sometimes
sirius: hey rem, what’s your favourite my little pony?
harry: i’ve finally realised why you’re named after a constellation
harry: because yo—
draco: my eyes sparkle like the stars, i know, i know
harry: how did you—
draco: i heard lupin using that on his weird prisoner boyfriend the other day
harry:
draco: you’re not original, potter
harry: omg he’s so cute
draco: who is cute?
draco: he’s not cute
draco: pfft even if he was he’d be soooo out of your league!
draco: wait- who are we referring to again?
draco: oh yeah. that NOT CUTE guy
draco: so un-cute i’ve never seen anyone so the opposite of cute
harry: you have very strong opinions on that little niffler over there
draco:
draco:oh
*draco and harry rooming together, 8th year*
draco: top or bottom?
harry: bottom, definitely
draco: dammit, me too
harry: well one of us will have to compromise we can’t both be bottom
draco:
harry: okay fine but if i fall off the top bunk in my sleep it’s your fault
harry, coming home from work: i’m home! what’s for dinner? i’m starving
draco, draped over the kitchen bench: do you really want dinner… or do you want me?
harry: nah definitely dinner i haven’t eaten all day
draco:
harry: is that lasagne i smell?
draco: yes, perhaps my ruthless bullying was because of the undying and emotionally frustrating love i feel towards you
harry:
draco: oh don’t flatter yourself potter, i hate your guts
draco, after the battle of hogwarts: my therapist will hear about this
*sirius and regulus fighting*
sirius: i’m older
regulus: i’m smarter
sirius: yeah you’re a smart aleck
regulus: i’m literally a death eater
sirius: death eat my ass
sirius: what do you think the hardest part of a relationship is?
remus: being woken up at 4 in the morning by your prat of a partner who’s decided he’s a philosopher or something
lucius: my lord, i am beginning to worry about draco. he never comes out of his room and he’s very quiet
voldemort: i shall sort him out, don’t worry
*later that night. voldemort listening at draco’s door*
draco, on a floo call: yeah he looked extra ugly today. he’s still grey. yes, harry, he still has no nose and wants to kill you. i’m aware he’s an idiot- he’s living in my house don’t you think i know that?! okay. goodnight. i love you too.
voldemort:what
draco: seriously, potter can you quit being gay for one second?!
harry: if you get off my lap then yeah maybe
sirius: so then she had the AUDACITY to come up to me and say it to my face!
james, fully invested: SHE DID NOT
peter, eating popcorn: NUH UH
remus who’s heard the story 12 times already that day: lemme take a wild guess at what happens next…
sirius: hey can i slap your bum please
remus:
sirius: just… yknow… for fun
remus:
remus: yeah okay then
sirius: everyone has a gay cousin… i don’t have a gay cousin
regulus:
bellatrix:
narcissa:
andromeda:
walburga:
orion:
sirius: oh wait I’M the gay cousin!
remus: it’s unhealthy to eat past 9pm
sirius, eating chocolate frogs at 3am: well, good thing time is a social construct!
