#malespo

Food diary: 11/09/2020

Breakfast: Black Coffee, vitamin D, biotin, 20g of almonds

120 cal

Lunch: 1 cup lentil soup, ½ cup rice, 75g grilled chicken, 1 tbsp bbq sauce

475 cal

Dinner: 1 cup lentil soup

180 cal

Total: 775 calories

I want to be more active on here but i kind of feel like I’m talking to an empty room sometimes so I forget. I wasn’t restricting for a few weeks and my weight kind of stabilized around 160 but I don’t like how it feels. I can feel fat where I didn’t have it before. I don’t really recognize my body as my own and it’s really dyshoric. I don’t hate how I look and my body is healthy but like? It feels at odds w how I feel abt my gender. Like I see a healthy dude but I don’t like the idea of being like a burly man iykwim lmfao. Same way I feel about chest hair. Like, it’s fine and I don’t hate it but it I feel more myself with out it. Non binary things

Food diary

Breakfast

Rose and mint tea, almonds

140 calories

Lunch

10 asparagus spears

1 small tilapia filet

½ cup Pineapple avocado coleslaw ( coleslaw mix, sliced pineapple, diced tomato, diced red onion, chopped cilantro, avocado in place of Mayo, lime juice, and salt)

275 calories

Dinner

Tilapia filet w coconut milk and red peppers

Sweet coconut rice ( rice, a bit of honey, and a bit of low fat coconut milk)

475 calories

Snack

Tortilla chips and pineapple avocado coleslaw as salsa but a added a bit of mayo to make it extra creamy

360 calories

Total:1250 calories

— — — —

Today was nice, I’ve been pretty good since the 28th of December. Before then I was just eating whatever and i gained little weight, unfortunately :/ I’ve been working out a little bit every day and it is keeping me on track. Even light work outs are helpful so I don’t feel like a failure. With my ED in the past the most difficult thing to deal with is my all or nothing mentality. Like, if I don’t work out one day I may as not well work out for a month OR if I ate one unhealthy thing I may as well eat the rest. So doing small work outs and having at least ONE healthy meal a day reminds me to stay on track and not catastrophize for making small mistakes.

I rode my bike for about 45 minutes through out the day, 5-10 minutes of jumping jacks and I also played just dance for a bit :) I probably burned about 700 calories from working out. Also trying to stand more so I burn more calories.

Breakfast: skip/ black coffee

Lunch:

I made super big cabbage pancakes! So yummy and so filling! Didn’t get hungry until around 9pm!!

Cabbage 160g
Onion 25g
Kimchi 10g
Ap Flour 25g
Sesame oil ½ tsp

Stirred up and placed in an electric omelet maker! Then topped kinda like okonomiyaki!

Topping:
Sour cream 1tbsp
Hoisin 1tbsp
Sriracha 1 tsp

388 calories

Exercise:

I did a 20 minute cardio circuit and then I went for a lonnnng walk and walked 14k steps!

burned -1000~1200 calories

Dinner:

I made I big big big cabbage & veggie stew w eggs tonight after my long walk. I had a lot of cabbage today lol

Cabbage 270g
Carrots 83g
Sweet potato 125g
Onion 25g
2 cloves garlic  
½ in piece of ginger
Kimchi 10g
Gochujung 1tbsp
Boullion base ½ tsp
2 hard boiled eggs
Water for cooking

524 calories

This was wayyyy too big but I was super hungry lol

Next time I’ll make it in the afternoon and eat it throughout the day bc PHEW lol I got two huge bowls out of this recipe. Cabbage rly is so helpful to get nice n full :)

Total today: 914 calories

Fooood Diary:

Breakfast:

skip/black coffee

Lunch:

78g grilled chicken, 126g of broccoli, 113 g of roasted potato, 1 tsp olive oil used and ½ tsp of hoisin for dipping
378 cal

Snack:

1 sachet of gold kili matcha latte (on ice, mixed w water) and 1 tbps of peanut butter with my daily vitamins.
215 cal

Dinner:

2 scoops cookies & cream protein powder 
280 cal

Total: 873 calories

—-

I did a bunch of push ups, legs work outs, and finished off w intense cardio for 20 min. I live in a basement so I can’t only do so much bc the ceiling is apt 4 inches above my head lol

I thought I’d add some protein powder bc I think was getting light headed and hungry at night from not having enough protein in my diet. So far so good. I’ve been under 1000 daily cal for a week now n so far I feel good! Watching Korean diet vlogs has been so so so helpful lol bc american diet videos are…depressing lmao. I love how they include stuff they love along w low cal recipes so it never seems too too extreme. And they show their real portions which tend to be quite small. I can only eat so many salads and smoothies b4 I have a mental break lmao

Fooood diary

Breakfast: black coffee

Lunch:

Turkey, ¼ cup mashed potatoes, ¼ cup of corn, 1tbps butter

537 cal

Snack :

Iced Matcha latte

120 cal

Dinner:

Bibigo steamed dumplings, Sichuan chili oil, and hoisin sauce.

303 cal

Total: 960 calories :)

I feel better today! Weighed 158 today, too!

Fooood Diary

Breakfast: black coffee

Lunch: Burger!

2 slices of multi grain bread

76g 80% lean beef burger

Lettuce, tomato, onion

1 tbsp hoisin sauce

1 tsp sriracha

528 cal

Dinner: I was still full so I didn’t eat dinner but I had 4 oz of rum and 1 lime with seltzer lol

240 cal

Total: 768 calories

I weighed myself and noticed i’m 158 which is wild but I’ll keep going. My goal is still 155 by the end of the month but if I lose a little more I won’t complain. I feel like I look the same as I did when I was 174 a few months ago which is…annoying lol. I lost 15 pounds and I look the same :| I probably won’t notice too much until I’m around 150

Breakfast:

Peach

Green tea

68 calories

Lunch:

140g chicken

Caramelized onion 50g

Frozen Spinach ½ cup

Lentil soup 1 ½ cup

453 calories

Dinner:

Lentil soup 2 cups

White rice ½ cup

Sunny side up egg

360 calories

Snack:

Iced americano w oat milk

5 almonds

50 calories

Total

931 calories

Some of you proanas: “oh my parent(s) were a big part of my disorder! Oh my parent(s) were obviously anorexic and they kinda passed it on to me”

Some of the same proanas: “so I have a kid but that won’t stop me from getting to my UGW”

I’m not saying don’t have kids. And if you do have a kid and you’re still struggling with your ED then more power to you, I’m wishing you the beat cause that sounds hard.

BUT kids are not stupid, they notice things and they learn a lot from you. You know this, and I’m sure you’ve experienced this. If you are still actively engaging in your ED behaviors around your kid(s), they are more likely to develop an ED too. So please get off the proana train so you don’t pass this disease on to your children. Because if you are still actively engaging in your ED behaviors around your kid(s), they are more likely to develop an ED too.

Stay strong my lovelies, I know you’re doing the best you can. Just wanted to put this out there