Well back at school and already relapsing, maybe if this school wasn’t filled with the skinniest boys I’ve seen, but oh well zero is already back on my phone
My body is eating itself, it’s really pathetic considering I’m not even at my gw yet. God I need to starve for longer. I didn’t eat at all yesterday/today so that’s good. Also been thinking about overdosing.
I had a terrible binge this morning. I have been binging for the past several days. I haven’t been doing what I should. Everytime I go out I see all of the skinny girls walking around looking so happy and all I can do is wish to be like them. I keep thinking that my actions of binging are not helping me to reach those goals. So, starting now I am going to do everything I can to continue what I was doing before. I have 30 days until I go into my first year of high school and I am going to lose 30 pounds. Just wait. I will be beautiful.
saw my reflection next to my super skinny friend in the window last night and I thought we almost looked the same, but then she was hanging out in a bralette with her stomach showing and realized that I was absolutely fucking delusional
what sucks is that so many other people with ana exist. that so many thin people exist. people that are underweight and dont even have ana. I’m just a cow with a mental disorder that doesnt even matter until I’m sickly skinny
I’m the absolute worst at counting calories, nearly all of the food I eat is prepared at home so I cant check and if I were to ask my mom how many calories she thinks it is she’d get suspicious. I think I just want to start eating as little as I possibly can until the job gets done
I lost absolutely no weight god i hope its water weight. I’m only 8 pounds away from my gw and then my gw will change, it’s so stupidly close why can’t I just LOSE WEIGHT
I’m just going to eat all my junk food in the morning now and then restrict as the day goes on because I’ll be sitting at the table a 7 in the a.m trying not to gag while looking at my plate
