Food diary: 11/09/2020

Breakfast: Black Coffee, vitamin D, biotin, 20g of almonds

120 cal

Lunch: 1 cup lentil soup, ½ cup rice, 75g grilled chicken, 1 tbsp bbq sauce

475 cal

Dinner: 1 cup lentil soup

180 cal

Total: 775 calories

I want to be more active on here but i kind of feel like I’m talking to an empty room sometimes so I forget. I wasn’t restricting for a few weeks and my weight kind of stabilized around 160 but I don’t like how it feels. I can feel fat where I didn’t have it before. I don’t really recognize my body as my own and it’s really dyshoric. I don’t hate how I look and my body is healthy but like? It feels at odds w how I feel abt my gender. Like I see a healthy dude but I don’t like the idea of being like a burly man iykwim lmfao. Same way I feel about chest hair. Like, it’s fine and I don’t hate it but it I feel more myself with out it. Non binary things

Food diary

Breakfast

Rose and mint tea, almonds

140 calories

Lunch

10 asparagus spears

1 small tilapia filet

½ cup Pineapple avocado coleslaw ( coleslaw mix, sliced pineapple, diced tomato, diced red onion, chopped cilantro, avocado in place of Mayo, lime juice, and salt)

275 calories

Dinner

Tilapia filet w coconut milk and red peppers

Sweet coconut rice ( rice, a bit of honey, and a bit of low fat coconut milk)

475 calories

Snack

Tortilla chips and pineapple avocado coleslaw as salsa but a added a bit of mayo to make it extra creamy

360 calories

Total:1250 calories

— — — —

Today was nice, I’ve been pretty good since the 28th of December. Before then I was just eating whatever and i gained little weight, unfortunately :/ I’ve been working out a little bit every day and it is keeping me on track. Even light work outs are helpful so I don’t feel like a failure. With my ED in the past the most difficult thing to deal with is my all or nothing mentality. Like, if I don’t work out one day I may as not well work out for a month OR if I ate one unhealthy thing I may as well eat the rest. So doing small work outs and having at least ONE healthy meal a day reminds me to stay on track and not catastrophize for making small mistakes.

I rode my bike for about 45 minutes through out the day, 5-10 minutes of jumping jacks and I also played just dance for a bit :) I probably burned about 700 calories from working out. Also trying to stand more so I burn more calories.

I forgot to log yday :( but here’s a rundown

Breakfast: skip/coffee

Lunch: salad (cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, avocado feta, mint, and cilantro)

Small piece of chicharon, the way my mom fries it she renders almost all of the fat out until it’s practically porn rinds lol

A small bowl of beans and collard greens

450~650 calories

Dinner:

3 tortillas, two eggs, some refried black beans, feta, sour cream and my homemade hot salsa

580 calories

Total 1030-1230 calories

My intake was a little higher yday I was under 1000 for ten days. I definitely feel hungrier when I eat more lmao which is so weird. But my body has gotten used to eating less pretty quickly. Hope fully it lasts and I’m not having crazy cravings in a few days :| but I think treating myself every few days is rly helpful in maintaining focus. One day of a few bits of comfort food every few days isn’t going to stop my progress overall. I do feel kinda guilty tho :| I wish I didn’t but I do.

Fooood Diary:

Breakfast:

skip/black coffee

Lunch:

78g grilled chicken, 126g of broccoli, 113 g of roasted potato, 1 tsp olive oil used and ½ tsp of hoisin for dipping
378 cal

Snack:

1 sachet of gold kili matcha latte (on ice, mixed w water) and 1 tbps of peanut butter with my daily vitamins.
215 cal

Dinner:

2 scoops cookies & cream protein powder 
280 cal

Total: 873 calories

—-

I did a bunch of push ups, legs work outs, and finished off w intense cardio for 20 min. I live in a basement so I can’t only do so much bc the ceiling is apt 4 inches above my head lol

I thought I’d add some protein powder bc I think was getting light headed and hungry at night from not having enough protein in my diet. So far so good. I’ve been under 1000 daily cal for a week now n so far I feel good! Watching Korean diet vlogs has been so so so helpful lol bc american diet videos are…depressing lmao. I love how they include stuff they love along w low cal recipes so it never seems too too extreme. And they show their real portions which tend to be quite small. I can only eat so many salads and smoothies b4 I have a mental break lmao

Fooood Diary:

Breakfast: skip/black coffee

Lunch: 100g turkey meat, 100g rice & peas, 1 cup cucumber & tomato salad

289 cal

Dinner: Shrimp& cucumber salad!

- 100g shrimp, 50g cucumber, sliced onion, cilantro, chili vinegar (w a tsp of honey, and a few drops of sesame oil)

Bibigo steamed dumplings w a few drops of Sichuan chili oil

383 cal

Total: 672 calories

Foood diary

Breakfast

Spinach and feta omelet and a sausage

Lunch

2 slices of pizza , two cocktails

Dinner

4 cauliflower bites, some fries, a cocktail and 2 beers

Its seems like a binge day but i def held back a lot despite being w friends and family all day. I felt like i ate way more but now seeing it written down its not a crazy as it seemed lmfao. The alcohol is a lot but i wanted to have a good time lol. Gna try to work out asap tmrw morning and restrict until 3pm ish

Idk if i binged today or not like i think i def ate below my maintenance cAlories but im so full bc i waited until 8pm to have a full meal

hey uhh,,, anyone wanna send meanspo?

Sup bitches, I’m back to give y’all a reminder that most of the people who are like “oh I only eat 500cal a day and never binge uwu” are lying. :)

Have y'all ever had a London Fog?

As in the drink, not the literal fog of london. It’s super good, here’s the low cal version I like to make:

ingredients for about 2 cups:

• 1-2 bags of earl grey tea (black tea works well too) - 0cal
• ½ cup of your preferred milk (I use unsweetened almond - 15cal)
• sugar free vanilla syrup to taste - 0cal
• driedlavender - 0cal

instructions:

1. Place your tea bag(s) and lavender into a cup. I don’t usually measure how much lavender I use, but it’s probably a little under 1 tablespoon.
2. Pour in your boiling water and brew your tea. I like to use 2 bags of earl grey tea, and i like to brew about 1.5 cups. I usually brew my tea for about 3-5 minutes, but you can leave your tea bags in for longer or shorter to change how strong the tea is.
3. Remove your tea bag(s) and lavender. If the lavender was lose in your cup you may want to strain it out.
4. Add your milk, and sweeten to taste with the vanilla syrup.
5. Enjoy!

if you don’t have a vanilla syrup, you can just use sugar (or any sweetener) and vanilla extract. Just be careful when adding the vanilla because the extract is very strong!

You can skip the lavender without ruining the drink, I know it’s not an herb that everybody has.

Had no clue but apparently fasting/ restricting is causing my acid reflux to act up,, my throat is in so much pain I wanna die but I can’t eat more or stop fasting

Well back at school and already relapsing, maybe if this school wasn’t filled with the skinniest boys I’ve seen, but oh well zero is already back on my phone

Just found out a single kfc meal is over 1000 calories, isn’t that fun

The world must be telling me to starve myself, my school was selling these really good sandwiches and literally as I got to the front of the line they run out. All they had was low cal fruit water and mini rice cakes

That bot really be trying to make me feel better, like ha imma feel better when my thigh dont triple in size when I sit down

Tricked my parents into buying me some monster energy by telling them I need them so i can stay awake after school

Imagine having a panic attack because you cant get to the last beltloop, couldn’t be me

Took me this long th realise that my mother, “wanting the best for me” was really just fat shaming, who knew

Not me being to scared to cook one egg white and wrapping it in a bowl with cling film to have later even tho I no I wont

I hate my rib cage so much, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I look fat in all of my clothes cuz of it

I hate my calves, no matter how little I eat, they are still giant, sometimes I just wanna cut the fat off

I can’t stand my thighs, they are already big and then when I sit down, boom I never let my thigh touch the chair when I’m in public