I wonder how many time something magical happened, and I’m the mortal who believed in was a gas leak

We finally went to Hogwarts!

I’ve sat on this article, just waiting for the right time to post it. Christmas-based posts are usually pretty time/season sensitive. However with what’s going on in the world right now, with COVID-19 and the resulting lockdowns and restrictions in place, it’s made everything very doom and gloom. Hopefully this will act as some kind of a pick-me-up both for myself and for anyone reading it.

C…

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July, 1992

Hello fellow witches and wizards! I’m a muggle-born (or that’s what the wizard who came to give me my letter told me I was). Today I received my Hogwarts letter telling me that I was a wizard and now I will be going to the best school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the whole Britain, that is Hogwarts. I’m so excited! It’ll be such an adventure. I’ll be keeping my camera with me all the time and taking as many pictures there as I can. I’ll post them here.

-Colin Creevey

In The Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter was poisoned and I have proof! Okay, here me out before you bust out those tinfoil hats. I seriously believe he was being poisoned, and the most glaring clue is literally (figuratively) punching you in the face. 

Be warned, there be spoilers ahead.

Let’s look at our facts first, shall we? In OftP, poor Harry is severely depressed by what has happened. He’s seen Voldemort return and no one will believe him, he watched Cedric die and had to magically get his dead body back to Hogworts, his aunt and uncle still suck, no one will answer his questions, puberty has struck..

Oh… and this bitch showed up.

Let me be clear - Harry has every right to be mad. Anyone would be in his situation. But he’s more than mad, he’s unable to control himself. His friends keep telling him to watch his temper, to not make outbursts that will get him in trouble, to keep quiet. He can’t. He tried, but it just comes out of him. And it’s only in this book that he’s so mad, despite him having even more reasons to be pissed in Half-Blood Prince.

The we get about 2/5th through the book and a passage stands out. During chapter 18, Dumbledore’s Army, Harry is trying to study, but is completely exhausted. He reads the same passage on scurvy-grass, lovage, and sneezewort over and over again, but doesn’t absorb any of it.

These plants are moste efficacious in the inflaming of the braine, and

are therefor much used in Confusing and Befuddlement Draughts, where

the wizard is desirous of producing hot-headedness and recklessness…

This is our clue. He’ll, it’s more than a clue. Harry then goes on to think about Sirius’s recklessness, and then that the Daily Prophet would accuse him of having a swollen brain to try to cover up his insistence that Voldemort had returned. In his worries about what others think and what they are doing, he misses that he himself might be the one being poisoned.

But by who? And why?

Several reasons, really. Fudge, in his ongoing desire to discredit Harry, would have a much easier time of it if he was expelled. Umbridge is another likely culprit. She loved to punish him, and every time he had an outburst, she got to do it again.

How?

Many people end up poisoned in the Harry Potter books. Even Ron almost dies with a simple swig of mead. A little bit slipped into his food by a house elf and he would be as hot headed as any. Dobby couldn’t possibly keep an eye on every single thing that Harry ate or drank, so someone might have gotten it in there.

So there you have it. Harry Potter was being poisoned by someone who wanted to keep him angry. J.K. Rowling left a huge, full page hint right there for us. It explains so much!

Fic Rec #743

Kiss Your Knuckles Before You Punch Me In The FacebyAmaliaIR 

Hermione x Pansy Parkinson

Pansy thought she knew all about fighting, but Hermione is about to change that.

COMPLETE: Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,937

Fic Rec #755

communication errors byesotyric (devilrie)

Hermione x Tom Riddle

Granger –

Attached is the dry-cleaning bill for the shirt you ruined when you threw your tea at it. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I happened to be wearing the shirt at the time. You are lucky it was cold. Pay the bill and I won’t sue you for assault.

Regards,

Thomas Marvolo Riddle

CEO of Walpurgis Corporate

COMPLETE: Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,480

I went to a talk given by the man who developed Parseltongue for the Harry Potter films, Prof Francis Nolan. Just a few ‘facts’ about the language with some of the 'explanations’ given:

Phonology

It’s got no rounded vowels or labial consonants (because snake lips aren’t very flexible)

It’s got pharyngeal consonants (because some snakes like to constrict things)

It’s got a large number of fricatives, which also exhibit a length contrast (because…snakes)

Syntax

It’s got basic VSO order

It’s got postpositions (typologically highly unusual for a VSO language)

It’s ergative

Borrowings

The word 'muggle’ has been borrowed into English from Parseltongue 'ŋaʔalas’ - obviously!

accio-shitpost:

arthur weasley: probably owns a flip phone

He totally thinks of himself as owning top-of-the-line technology, and is confused when Muggles make fun of it.

Muggle: “Why don’t you get a normal phone? That thing is a total brick.”

Arthur: “What are you talking about? The Nokeeea is an amazing communication telephone device.”