polyamandhellaglam:

When people try to devalue polyamory they’ll bring up stories of people who had bad abusive polyamorous relationships. They take stories of cults, people who forced their partners to accept live in mistresses, and people without sexual boundaries and show them as proof that polyamory is dangerous, sexually deviant, and unsafe to be around kids. However each of these examples isn’t evil because its polyamorous. They’re bad for other reasons. They include abuse, lack of communication and consent, double standards, brain washing, bad relationship rules, and lack of basic human decency. These things exist within bad monogamous relationships too. 

Bad relationships will be bad whether they’re monogamous or polyamorous. Abusive isn’t intrinsic to either group. People being abused in polyamorous relationships shouldn’t be encouraged to become monogamous, they should be encouraged to escape. 

throuplepower:

NORMALIZE POLYAMORY

Will always work to do this, even through the hate. Show the world that polyamory is just as valid as monogamy

polyamandhellaglam:

Goals: eventually go to one of those restaurants that jokingly says that if you bring your wife and your girlfriend to their place on Valentines day you get your meal free and make them keep their promise

Sharing Is Caring - Black coffee mug for throuples and threesomes

Found something fun for you, thought you might like it.

Thissharing is caring threesome mug is perfect for people like to love in groups.

mlmshowerthoughts:

i love people in nonmonogamous/nontraditional relationships

-queer platonic partners who are a throuple and just watch movies and give each other emotional support and forehead kisses

-two guys who are married to each other and also both dating another guy who they invite over for dinner sometimes

-a lesbian and her bi gf who she loves to cook dinner for while she vents about how she’s missing her boyfriend because he’s out of town

-two people who can’t really describe their gender or what their relationship is in “normal” terms but they’ve been friends their whole lives and they helped each other explore their gender and they live together and they’re life partners and they kiss sometimes

life is complex and messy and if words aren’t enough to describe your relationship then that’s awesome and i love you!

justlgbtthings:

lgbt heart dividers pt. 2

please rb if saving! credit is appreciated ❦

part 1 here

I feel like me crying that my girlfriend and I will never find anyone to date us and be poly with is in my breakdown queue weekly now- we’re pansexual and just want a more dominant/switch partner and keep being broken over assholes-

Hapoy pride month everyone! I hope you know that you are safe and vaild here, and my blog is open arms to everybaby far and wide within the LGBTQ+ community!

Low Man on the Ladder

Finna drop some Polyam knowledge on y'all. There is a phenomenon I have observed that I like to call “Low Man on the Ladder”. It’s the concept of last one hired, first one fired. How this plays out is like this:

Say you are dating someone with two partners in addition to you and they had those partners when you met them. You have no issue with those partners and feel little jealousy when your partner interacts with them. Then your partner starts dating someone new and you find yourself losing your shit about it. What’s wrong? You fully accept their relationships with their other partners. Why can’t you seem to accept this budding new relationship?

I believe it’s because you are the last partner they acquired so that means that one, you have been around for the least amount of time and there’s a security that comes with length of time, and two, you partner has demonstrated that they can have these other connections and you already so their existing relationships don’t feel like a threat to you because they had them when your formed YOUR relationship with your partner. There is no precedent, however, that this new person won’t have an adverse affect on your relationship with your partner; that your partner can hold the older relationships and yours and this new one at the same time. And since you are the “last one hired” you become scared that you’ll be the “first one fired” if it becomes too much to handle for your partner.

How do you deal with this? Believe your partner values their connection with you regardless of the new shiny relationship. They are still choosing you in addition to this person. What if they don’t and the new person does “push me out”? That does happen, not gonna lie….but don’t you want someone that WANTS you. Like for real. Someone that no one could make them “push you out”. If that happens, the new person did you a favor. Will it hurt? Yes. Will you be better off because it will free up the space for you to have someone that is worthy of you? Also yes.

And if I can take it a step further, chances are that your partner is just as scared that this new person will make YOU want to leave THEM because you can’t handle their new love but folks don’t be ready for that level of compassion.

*Edited to be more culturally aware*

“Babe, What If We Try an Open Relationship?”

Finna drop a jewel on y’all monogamous folks that are polyam curious or interested, know this: Once you introduce the concept of non-monogamy in any form to a relationship, that relationship is irrevocably changed from that point forward whether you both decide to pursue it or not. Be ready.

A common theme I feel amongst my relationships is feeling like they are “upside-down”. I give a lot and am very flexible so I am often left feeling like I am getting the short end of the stick in my relationships. This is causing me to re-examine how I move and how I show up in my pursuits of romantic relationships. My current romantic partnerships are what they are but moving forward with new people, I’m beginning to wonder if I should change my approach to something a little slower and steadier and methodical.

I’m not a slow burn person. I like the sparks. I have also never had the experience of being “friends first” with a person and growing in desire and attraction for someone. It has never happened to me. I either want you that way or I don’t. My general approach is starting from that point and working out the details after the fact but I’m wondering if it might not behoove me to sit with a person for a while and see how they treat me, how they love, how they show up for me BEFORE being quick to call it. That takes time. I’m also wondering if I should be more open to people that pursue me because I usually find myself in the place of the pursuer more often than not and a common feeling I experience in my relationships is feeling like I’m more “into” the person than they are into me. Would shifting that paradigm change that, too?

The interesting thing is that if I’m not really feeling you like that, it’s apparent. I’m either SUPER into you or I’m not so someone I was only mildly or moderately interested in would be able to detect that. So I don’t know how to reconcile who I have always know myself to be romantically with who I feel I might need to become in order to achieve different results.

One of the things I came away from my Ayahuasca ceremonies with is that my feelings surrounding polyamory have changed but I can’t put my finger on how. I just know I don’t feel the same about it. I feel more relaxed about it’s presence in my life, less anxious and “clingy” for it, and mildly apathetic about it. Even the thought of the loss of my current partners doesn’t make me sad. I have peace about it and feel little emotion about the possibility of no longer being in relationship with them. While I am grateful for the calm seas of my emotions, I don’t want to be “blah” in my relationships either. I don’t even know where these changes came from. I just looked around and they were there, I was there