themadcapmathematician:

Gender politics was a fucking mistake. Ppl will really be like “men don’t have the capacity to have authentic, normal human emotions like women do” and act like that’s peak feminism and not an utterly fucking deranged thing to say about another person

I feel so sorry for all the young lesbians whose female partners are currently medically transitioning. They have to support their partners’ transitions unconditionally and unquestioningly lest they be called transphobic, they have to wonder whether they’ll still be attracted to their partners post-transition, they have to stop calling themselves lesbians lest they offend their partners. And if they break it off, will their friends call them transphobic? Will they be marked as terfs?

I can’t imagine being a teenager, falling in love with a girl, and then essentially being forced (I remember how deep the fear of being transphobic went) to call the girl I love they or he, watch her start testosterone or get surgery, and give up calling myself lesbian. It would be heartbreaking and confusing. I know this is happening—I can name several couples like this who show up on my Instagram feed these days. And it is heartbreaking. How many more young lesbians would there be if they didn’t give up the lesbian label to accommodate their attraction to trans identified females? How many more young lesbians would there be if they were encouraged to look up to and learn from older lesbians rather than dismiss them as terfs or … not queer enough?

(This is not meant to imply I don’t care about the hardships of the scores of “trans” teenage girls themselves. I absolutely do, having been one for several years.)

auntiewanda:

cottagelore:

cottagelore:

really is telling how one of the most basic things that gay people ask for—happiness, safety, and legal status in a relationship with the one you love—is something that is met with derision or mockery in the ‘lgbt community.’ it’s because it’s something that people who are just playing gay cannot connect with, and something that they don’t put a lot of stock in. that’s why you’ll see things like gay marriage put down as gay assimilation, and that’s why you’ll see the promotion of happy, healthy gay couples called homonormativity. it’s such a basic desire, and you can really just tell when someone who’s never dreamt of asking for it in their lives (i.e., straight people, asexual people). because they don’t need to and they don’t think that you should ask for it either

it’s just hurtful. people who never had to contend with the idea that they could be denied services, jailed, beaten, killed, excommunicated from a church, or otherwise socially marginalized for a relationship are being allowed to define what is “useful” activism regarding relationships. people who never felt dirty and wrong and unnatural and against god for their childhood crushes get to say whatever they want under the umbrella ‘queer.’ which they claim not because it’s politically useful, but because it erases the line between who is same-sex attracted and who is not.

and yet they still have the audacity to say the dumbest lines. not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you. out of the mouth of a man who has only ever desired women. i hate it.

In 2015 in the US our rights movement actually accomplished real normality for us and that just made a bunch of heterosexuals lose their minds. They invited themselves in, claimed to be one of us for asinine reasons (”oh I’m a sapiosexual panromantic greyace agender person!”) and insisted that things needed to be “queered” up again. We had to be out there. We had to be freaks. We had to be counter-culture and shocking. We had to be their wild entertainment that they never thought would actually gain equality even while they praised themselves for paying us lipservice. 

So now they trot out all the same old homophobia. They try to excommunicate us from our own organizations or our communities our own venues our own events and finally our own movement. They try to change the meanings of our words to include themselves and exclude us. They try to call us old hat, claim that we’retherealoppressors and they’re the ones truly suffering from our lack of cooperation.

And they outnumber us. And the rest of straight society either consciously or unconsciously approves. Because, hey, it’s just gay stuff. It’s just queer stuff. It’s just homo stuff. So who cares?

Another reason why kink should never be grouped in with LGB. Just encourages the idea that we are sexual deviants and should be “proud” of it, when all we’ve ever fought for, for centuries, eons, has been normal lives and acceptance from society. To love who we love and have nobody bat an eye. To bring home our girlfriend and have our parents laugh and throw cards at her when she beats them at Uno. And to get married, to have children.

The most boring gay couple with two kids and a white picket fence will always be more meaningful to me than a juvenile contest of who can be the queerest.

How liberating it is to realize that I am a lesbian not because I ‘identify’ with ‘lesbian culture’, look and dress a certain way, see myself in other lesbians, or *suppresses laughter* enjoy the ~lesbian aesthetics~ and the word lesbian, but only because I am a female exclusively attracted to other females.

I can be whatever kind of person I want to be and nothing I do can make me more or less lesbian.

This is for those who are against afab transfems and amab transmascs.

>Can u explain me why ? Why is it ok for u to segregate an identity on the basis of someone’s ASAB ? Isn’t what terfs actually do ? For them “woman” is AFAB-exclusive and yall act the same with transfem/transmasc. U use terf logic, u discriminate someone due to their genitals. ////

Why don’t you let ppl identify with whatever they want regardless of their asab and without telling them they are bad/wrong/not valid ? If an afab individual feel a connection to transfemininity, why they should be forbidden to identify as such ?

For me we should stop to imply that transfem= amab and transmasc= afab and start to recognize that some transfems are afab and some transmascs are amab (and others aren’t even afab or amab)

Sex assignement is an arbitrary act who don’t accure just one time in your life. Socially, people will assign you to a sex/gender category (often based on you appearence but not only). So if an afab is assigned to male by someone but they identify with a fingender/feingender they are in fact transfem/trans girl. Ofc, u don’t necessary need this experience to be a transfem. If u feel connected to the term for me it’s the most important.

I really don’t understand why so many ppl are so hostile towards afab/amab transfems/transmascs and have a very reductive vision of the sex/gender assignement process//

Again if an afab is comfortable with the label transfem, where is the problem if they use it ?They are not hurting anyone. Let them vibing.

A resource about afab transfems :

Afab transfem

Tw: antisemitism, antisemitic dogwhistles

So, to any inclus, exclus/transmeds, block magic/dayz for antisemitism. Do not interact with or harass or send threats to him though. Please.

So let’s start from the beginning to understand the situation. magic/dayz posted this:

To which I sent this ask that he replied to (but didn’t add my tag because I figured maybe they’d listen if I didn’t use my openly inclus main blog):

Ok, ok. I figured this could be a kid who just doesn’t understand why this is not good. I wasn’t able to screenshot my original reply to him from the notes because he blocked me immediately after sending me this.

(@rittz is an exclusionist who basically said that the anon I sent was right about the antisemitism)

But what I said in replies was basically, antisemitism is deeply rooted and often heavily influences media. Even if the people making a show don’t intentionally do something antisemitic, this is so deeply rooted that people often make antisemitic caricatures without fully realizing that they’ve done it. That doesn’t make it any less antisemitic. I remember using Mother Gothel from the Tangled movie’s design as an example because it ticks a lot of boxes.

I was upset and frustrated so I sent this anon that was more aggressive than I meant it to be and tagged it this time:

And his response was this:

And after that came this because I was upset that he kept brushing off a Jewish person telling him he was saying something antisemitic:

And there we go. I think I explained things pretty well in the asks about whats bad and why even if they were much more aggressive and emotional that I’d have liked.

So again. Block, don’t interact or harass.

GOD if I have to hear about queer discourse one more time I will be fucking bullying you. I dont give a shit. We are losing are rights dipshit. I don’t care if you’re valid or not. It doesn’t fuckinf matter. Use your critical thinking skills for the love of fucking god before I crack your brain man. We are losing a fight bb girl. I’ll see you on the front lines as soon as you stop asking if you look gay enough

some people on this site are a stone’s throw away from saying that anyone who is LGBT+ is a freak and a deviant and will forever be seen as an outsider by the rest of society. like this is still the fucking 60s or something.

if you take comfort from your fringe identity, fine. there’s a lot to celebrate about being queer, and i’m glad that people are finding joy in existing beyond the mainstream. its a wonderful sense of euphoria. i wouldn’t deny you that.

but your experiences are not universal. and i want to say for everyone out there: if you’re gay, if you’re trans, nb, ace, bi, whatever - there is a place for you in society, even one dominated by cishets. i didn’t march on parliament for gay marriage just to be told by some internet gay that i will never be accepted for who i am. what kind of regressive rhetoric is that??

there is belonging to be found from wider society, just as there is belonging to be found from fellow queer people. don’t let other people tell you that your identity limits you. i promise you, there is love and good people out there. it doesn’t have to always be us vs them.

genderkoolaid:

genderkoolaid:

the queer community was formed by people who were deemed strange and abnormal in society based on them not conforming to expectations about sexuality & gender. there are no specific boundaries bc this isn’t a club. a cishet guy that likes wearing dresses who fights side by side with us for true liberation, is 100x more queer than a millionaire gay man who’s besties with companies that sell us watered down versions of our own culture for profit during pride while donating to homophobic lawmakers every other month.

i’m gonna say this again because it really pissed some people off: yes, I would rather have a cishet GNC man who stands with queer people, is involved in our spaces and our culture, stands up for us when we are attacked, and is active in furthering queer liberation, than a rich gay man who spits on the lower-class queers who gave him the ability to be out, who sells his soul to corporations who couldn’t give less of a shit about us, just for the wealth and power of capitalism. Fuck that guy. I’m not saying he isn’t gay - he is! Nothing can take that away! But we have the saying “not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you” for a reason. The family-friendly gay millionaire isn’t my brother. The poor crossdresser who has been a part of this community since it’s inception is. Fuck your bootlicking bullshit.

feminismandmedia:

thesocialjusticecourier:

bigballofwibblywobbly:

jadensilver:

someoneintheshadow456:

feminismandmedia:

Honestly, if you keep intentionally tagging “queer” as “q slur” instead of “q word” ESPECIALLY if it’s a reblog from someone and you don’t know if they’re okay with you doing that and ESPECIALLY if a queer person has asked you not to…

I’m just going to assume you’re a queerphobe ‍♀️

Most of the people who are offended by that word are gay men and trans men. And in Southern USA the word is most commonly used by conservative Republicans as an insult specifically towards those groups.

Whether you identify as it or not, the word has an oppressive/negative history in other countries. In my country words like “queer” and “homo” are very offensive slurs that no LGBT person would be happy to hear you use in any context.

If someone has a problem with the word queer, DO NOT accuse them of automatically being a bigot. Not everywhere is Northeastern USA.

It’s a slur, OP. Keep being mad about it. 

Did anyone say it wasn’t on this thread? No. Just asking people to respect queer people. Not that hard.

“Did anyone say that word wasn’t a slur? No! Here let me use it again since it obviously upsets you. OH OH OH BUT RESPECT THE PEOPLE WHO I’M DISRESPECTING RIGHT NOW, PLEASE! UWU”

jesus you’re all assholes. Stop referring to us by that word. It’s terrible and the only people who are comfortable with it are the ones trying to turn LGBT into some kind of political fashion statement. Knock this fucking shit off.

No one is fucking referring you as that word on this thread. This is about people who have reclaimed it. Jesus fuck stop being an asshole.

Mod Bethany

Op: Hey can you tag “queer” in a more respectful way? Like q-word instead of q-slur? That way everyone is comfortable

Queerphobes: EXCUSE ME WHAT ABOUT ME THE WORD QUEER ONCE KILLED MY DOG NO ONE IS EVER ALLOWED TO USE THE WORD UNLESS THEY CATER TO ME SPECIFICALLY YOU CANT USE A SLURRRRRR AS AN IDENTITY (even though I identify as a dyke or use the word fag etc) BECAUSE I SAID SO

penrosesun:

….and in light of the tremendous amount of hostility I’ve recently seen towards queer people of color in particular, I’d just like to point out something that’s been really bugging me lately:

Most of the people who vehemently insist on tagging queer as “q slur” will still tag n***** as “n word”.

Think about that for a second.

Now I don’t know if these people are so queerphobic that they actually believe that saying “the queer community” is worse than calling a person of color a n*****, or if they’re are so anti-Black that they think that the word n***** isn’t a slur, but frankly? I don’t really care which it is.

Whatever the reasoning, that hypocrisy is inappropriate on every level, and it needs to stop.

queerbert:

Just a thought but

if I’m talking about the queer community, and you don’t identify with that term…

I’m not talking about you!

Just leave me alone, thanks.

This is still relevant. Thanks.

star-anise:

So “queer” isn’t just an identity that’s broadly inclusive because, I don’t know, we like big parties. There’s actually an underlying ethic, a queer theory, that has political implications.

Its name reclaims a slur because the point is to say, “I am different, but that’s not a bad thing.” The queer movement is about upholding the right of all people to deviate from an oppressive cisgender, heterosexual, patriarchal norm. Broadening the spectrum of acceptable diversity; questioning and dismantling the social pressures that police and punish deviance. Changing not just our own lives, but how our entire society thinks about sex and gender.

That’s why “queer” embraces so many different groups. It’s not trying to erase their differences, but to try to coherently understand the complex overlapping pressures that affect each of them, and to extend our reach beyond the LGBT+ community. It’s about the right of lesbians to live without men and the right of trans and nonbinary people to be who they are, the right of asexuals to define for themselves what’s significant in their lives, the right of straight men to be vulnerable and emotional and nonviolent. When the great queering project is done, you will see the changes everywhere, not just in small LGBT+ enclaves.

It’s recognizing that something that harms or oppresses one of us is pretty likely to harm all of us, so we all benefit from taking it down together.

when people say “queer is a slur and that’s why it’s disgusting that classes called ‘queer studies’ still exist”

what they really mean is “I see no difference between 'queer’ and any other slur, including racial slurs that have absolutely nothing to do with this community, and anyone who doesn’t agree with me is downplaying my personal negative experiences with the word”

a word becoming a slur doesn’t magically make it untouchable, or unable to ever be reclaimed by the majority of the people it’s used against

flags you shouldn’t be using if you’re anti mspec gays/lesbians

all of the following flags were created by people who support bi/pan/etc. gays and lesbians:

• the sun lesbian flag
• the moon lesbian flag
• the questioning flag
• the dyke flag
• the fag flag
• the femme/butch flag(s)
• the horizon queer flag
• the chevron queer flag
• the mermaid bi flag
• the fairy bi flag

so if your “exclusionist values” or w/e prevent you from using flags made by people who aren’t as exclusionary as you, then don’t make yourself look like a clown.

I don’t think I say this enough, but me pointing out biphobia in certain intracommunity discusses or certain stances is not me denying biphobia exists in another.

Like, yeah there’s a huge amount of biphobia among people who love queer as a label but there’s also a huge amount of biphobia among people who hate queer as a label. There’s a real failure all around to understand and care about how biphobia shapes peoples relationship to queer as a label.

Bi people who don’t use queer are considered assimilationist, capitalizing on our “straight passing privilege”, or regressive and intolerant.

Bi who do use queer are considered cringey, unjustly centering ourselves in the community despite not being really oppressed, or turning queer into an aesthetic.

Bisexuals are always being blamed for not being bisexual in the “right way” and the only way to be bisexual in the “right way” is quietly and accepting of second class status in both the gay and straight worlds.

kyraneko:

ethereal-ineffability:

queerpunk-academia:

look i call myself queer for a couple of reasons, not all immediately obvious to the “queer is a slur” crowd.

like there’s the immediate implication of this does not require me to explain my labels to you, but also the secondary implication of my existence as a radical statement. when queer people started calling themselves queer, it was an act of public defiance and rebellion.

queer says I don’t need to justify myself to you or anyone, queer says I exist and I won’t shut up about it, queer says we are a community and you cannot draw arbitrary dividing lines between us. queer is a good word for queer people.

when I find people who call themselves queer, I know they are the ones who won’t try to say anyone doesn’t belong in our community, that they will defend gay rights with trans rights, that they will stand up against the oppression that we all face, even if it doesn’t affect them directly.

so yeah, i love being queer, calling myself queer, talking about the queer community, queer studies and queer theory and queer history. and I’m not going to stop because some of you think it’s a slur.

#yep #I actually am nervous around people who use LGBT the way I would use queer #because I have to worry ‘do I fit under their version of the acronym?’

and I’m not going to stop because some of you WANT it to be a slur either.

To the people in the notes who are throwing a temper tantrum: You know all this bullshit would be easier if we could all start having conversations like this and be done with it:

Person 1: I am queer. I enjoy calling myself queer and that is a label I identify with. I am okay with other people calling me queer. I am reclaiming the word and I am proud to be queer.

Person 2: That’s cool and I respect that you are comfortable with something I’m not. I am uncomfortable with the word queer because it brings up a lot of negative feelings. I feel that it is a slur that I do not want other people using to describe me. I might not feel comfortable calling you queer either as it’s not a word I like to use, but I have no problem with you calling yourself whatever you want.

Person 1: I respect that you feel uncomfortable with that word and I will not call you queer even if I myself am okay with being called queer.

Person 2: Thank you! I will not try to take away a label that is comforting to you just because I don’t want to use it myself.

Person 1: Thanks!

Literally that’s all it takes. It’s that fucking simple. Don’t call people things they don’t want to be called, and don’t tell others what words they’re allowed to call themselves. What is uncomfortable for for you may provide someone else with a feeling of safety. What is comfortable for you may trigger fear in others. Just calm the fuck down, listen to other people for once, and respect each other’s comfort zones. Jesus fuck y'all are exhausting

A hot take

If you don’t identify as queer you shouldn’t be gatekeeping the term. It isn’t your place to participate in discussions about a group you aren’t in.

Kink at Pride: Thorough Resource Argues Why it Belongs