#actually did
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Personal journal entries and educational articles about DID, NPD, and/or ASPD.
This is another way you can continue to interact with me once I leave Tumblr for good. Please reblog
I (npd-and-me) AM DELETING TUMBLR!
Please reblog this so people know where to find me even after I delete. I’d appreciate the support since I have 4K followers here. I’ve moved to these social media:
Follow me on Quora:Lucille Langdon
https://www.quora.com/q/lucillelune?ch=10&share=4630eb8e&srid=utieZV
(This is my Space on my account since I can’t figure out how to link directly to my account. Interacting with my Space and following it gets me closer to being able to make money off it… I’d really like to get close to that since I’m in need of a way to make money but am severely disabled so having a job is extremely difficult - I’ve tried getting on federal disability but I don’t have enough work credits… and the reason I don’t have enough work credits ismydisabilities) - This is another reason I’d appreciate reblogs!
Follow me on YouTube:The Autonomy System
https://youtube.com/channel/UCmm3H1Ek9B6oZv1gRqb5ACw
I’d really appreciate if y’all follow me on either one of these. I’m writing a book about NPD and ASPD and another book about DID and how I developed it. In the future, if you want to read my books then I’d follow on one of these accounts. I also am a lot more open there and explain things in more detail. My YouTube is especially very educational, and on my Quora I post frequently and am more vulnerable about the inner workings of my disorders.
i feel the need to share all that i am
but i fear i’ll always be stuck in the closet
it’s hard, isn’t it? being several people at once. (always a life half-lived)
probably not a new idea but i’ve been having a tough time lately and i’ve only got therapy appointments sporadically and it’d be nice to have a pal to confide in specifically for these kinds of things and can confide in me, and i figured others probably feel the same way.
so i created this survey form to match people with a pal:
https://goo.gl/forms/lnuGPUA2JCjVfres1
tldr; if you want someone to talk to when you’re having a tough day and they can talk to you fill out the survey above !
i can feel all my memories fade away; god i wish i knew what i did yesterday.
my relationship with my system is unique, extraordinary, and… complicated.
you are not a horror story or a click bait or a tale of fascination, you are complex and beautiful and whole.
i wonder if i could really be loved for all of me.
I know I’ve said this before but if you’d like to see more of the mental health side of things you can go over to my blog @the-era-system where I and my system post and such! I’m using this blog more for Sky specifically!
a few years ago we went to our psychiatrist and forced ourself to go, hey, we think we have did and really need help. they didn’t really engage with it. if anything, the psychiatrist really didn’t like that it was evident i do my own research about stuff. like i forced myself to be open about it to try get help. it’s hard because it’s so shameful.
and when it didn’t go anywhere, i was like okay, so let’s see what happens if i just. ignore it. just resulted in me where i’m at now, noticeably losing time everyday, having a lot more instances of feeling very much Not Me (and then not remembering it), being more irritable, saying/doing stuff and not remembering and it’s to the point i used to be more able to figure out which alter is present, and now it’s almost impossible. i’m lucky if i can figure out when another part is present in the first place. let alone who. i need help with this. and i’m worried if i go to the psychiatrist again and say basically “hey so i tried to just ignore having did and it’s actually worse now” they’ll just again not want to engage because i specifically mention a disorder.
it’s hard. forced myself to be open about it to no avail. ignored it. now in a position where i need to be open about it again to get help for it but scared it’ll just repeat again.
When we are regressed our minds slip back to a child’s so stuff like Halloween causes that! But that unfortunately means we aren’t as aware as usual so here’s how you can help protect your little
•Remember to check their candy before they eat it!
•Hold their hands at all time!
•Walk up to the door with them so you can see if somebody is acting off or saying weird things
•Always believe your little when they say something is wrong!!
•Always bring a spare jacket incase they get cold
•Make sure you aren’t walking in front of them and you always have your eyes on them and know where they are at
•Have warm comfy blankets ready at home (and maybe some extra candy too ;) )
•Cuddle up with your little one at the end of the night and have a comforting movie night
•If something does happen remember the address and please report it to your local police!!
!!
: Kink, NSFW, Anti-Agere/Petre, DDLG, ADBL, Or any variants, Don’t sexualize me or any of the posts I make
~ (///)
Baba: oh little oneee? Where are you?
Little One: *hiding but giggling alot*
Baba: *hears* hmmm I wonder if they’re under..Here!!
Little one: AHHH!! *giggling*
Baba: the tickle monster is here!!! *tickles the little*
Little one: Ahh! Nooo baba! *laughing*
Baba: *stops and chuckles* c’mon little one the dino nuggets are ready
: Kink, NSFW, Anti-Agere/Petre, DDLG, ABDL, or variants, Don’t sexualize anything I post!
~ (///)
Let’s Meet The Main Fronters!
Name: River
Pronouns: They/Bun
Sexuality: Pansexual
Role: Trauma Holder
Age: 16
Little Age: 0-4
Personality: shy and quiet then outgoing and loud when they get to know you!
Name: Dabi
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: MLM
Age: 17
Role: Fictive
Little Age: 3-6
Personality: A little cold sometimes unintentionally but really kind!
Name: Saturn
Pronouns: She/Her
Age: 4
Role: Emotional Protector/Little
Personality: Suuuuper hyper she’s on like a constant sugar rush
Name: Darrien
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: MLM
Age: 18
Role: Internal Helper
Personality: super chill doesn’t really overly talk but is very comforting
These are our main fronters but in total we are currently at 11 others! So expect lots of other people!
Meet the underworld system!
Who are we?: We are a Medically Recognized Dissociative Identity Disorder System what does medically recognized mean? It means a medically professional (in our case 2) has confirmed and told us we do in fact have dissociative identity disorder it just isn’t written down on paper We are called “The Underworld System” which is a name we all mutually came up with.
Okay, Well how do we know who we’re talking to?: We’ll have a sign off with whosever postings name and pronouns and if we respond to a message we’ll include the same!
Aren’t you scary and dangerous?: Nope! That’s just how the media portrays DID (very poorly) none of us are dangerous or is gonna harm you! If you want proper education on DID I’d do your own research and ask actual systems!
Well what can I expect to be posted?:Lots of different kinds of content! Agere concepts, tips and tricks, DID things and advice as well as education on both topics! We do our best to educate people but we are not medical professionals so we can only speak from experience!
Some littles (like myself) are naturally really clingy so here’s some things to help ease the clinginess
•Give Them a hoodie with your scent on it
•Regularly give them updates and small messages
•Leave them a list of silly things to do to keep themselves occupied while you’re gone
•Give them a bit of your perfume/scent
•Give them things that remind them of you (blankets, foods, stuffies etc)
•Be patient with them! They’re trying their best and already feel guilty so please be patient and try and compromise with them
!!
~/ (/)
“It would be so cool to be a system”
Love leaving therapy more upset than when I got there
