.•° .·:·. Boy’s Abyss .·:·. °•.

Science says every seven years every cell in the human body dies and replaces itself…

I have been counting every year, and this is number seven.. I finally have a body he’s never touched.

Are you depressed because you like sad things? Or do you like sad things because you’re depressed?

A conversation with my mother.

I’ve reached level 25 (officially referring to birthdays as levels from now on )

I know that when i was 20, I was a totally different person; I mean I was in the closet ️‍ and married to a man. So…big changes happened in my life in just 5 years I finally came out as a lesbian and left my husband, told my loved ones about my ADHD and PTSD and am now the most authentic me I can be.

I’m excited and nervous to meet the level 30 version of myself

How have you changed in the last 5 years? What shit about yourself are you currently working on? (I’m working on my executive functioning skills)

Manipulation and abuse at its core. If you are currently in this situation, reach out. Tell someone what goes on behind closed doors. You are worth so much more

When I say something really twisted and my therapist gives me That Look™

I’m like

Therapist: *calls out my negative core beliefs*

Me:

You know my mom so well.

Therapist: *points out that I seem anxious*

Me:

Me to insurance: “I need this treatment in order to survive”

Insurance:

Writing about my mental illness like

I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Life is hard, but I’m strong.

According to you, nobody has ever loved me.

If abuse isn’t love, then what do I have left?

I’M THE KIND OF THING YOU THROW ROCKS AT

NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU LOVE

MY BLOOD IS ON MY OWN HANDS

WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW

just tell me what you want and i’ll be it!!

Based on a conversation with @scarsmood

I almost appreciate my nightmares. I’m always screaming in them. In real life, I’m not sure I can scream.

I’m always screaming and fighting back and begging them not to hurt me. In reality, I was always just quiet and still and let it happen. Maybe I thought that was what they wanted. Maybe I thought that would make it hurt less.

It didn’t.

I was just your dog

You pulled my teeth

I can’t even biteanymore

Can’tdefendmyself

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Personal journal entries and educational articles about DID, NPD, and/or ASPD.

This is another way you can continue to interact with me once I leave Tumblr for good. Please reblog

I (npd-and-me) AM DELETING TUMBLR!

Please reblog this so people know where to find me even after I delete. I’d appreciate the support since I have 4K followers here. I’ve moved to these social media:

Follow me on Quora:Lucille Langdon

https://www.quora.com/q/lucillelune?ch=10&share=4630eb8e&srid=utieZV

(This is my Space on my account since I can’t figure out how to link directly to my account. Interacting with my Space and following it gets me closer to being able to make money off it… I’d really like to get close to that since I’m in need of a way to make money but am severely disabled so having a job is extremely difficult - I’ve tried getting on federal disability but I don’t have enough work credits… and the reason I don’t have enough work credits ismydisabilities) - This is another reason I’d appreciate reblogs!

Lucille Lune

Follow me on YouTube:The Autonomy System

https://youtube.com/channel/UCmm3H1Ek9B6oZv1gRqb5ACw

The Autonomy System

I’d really appreciate if y’all follow me on either one of these. I’m writing a book about NPD and ASPD and another book about DID and how I developed it. In the future, if you want to read my books then I’d follow on one of these accounts. I also am a lot more open there and explain things in more detail. My YouTube is especially very educational, and on my Quora I post frequently and am more vulnerable about the inner workings of my disorders.

You deserve the love and kindness you give to everyone else.

“How’s it feel?

How’s it feel to be so loved?

How’s it feel to be so loved, yet so alone?”

When someone tries to get me to open up