inspo honestly, i’m going through an armin brainrot phase so
synopsisstill sad and mourning so here’s how i cope with aot ( again )
a/n i miss sasha so i needed to make one of these for valentines day activities ( isayama, if you ever see this. i’m under your bed )
eren yeager;
literally gone when you wake up
and you know exactly why ‘cause he does it every year
to say eren goes all out for valentines day would be an understatement
even though it happens every year, you never get tired of his planned out scavenger hunts
he has you run around the city for clues and it brings you to places the both of you have been before and of course, it ends with you meeting him at some restaurant or even back at home
( you prefer the restaurant because i headcanon that eren cannot cook for shit )
but still it’s really romantic and he will not hesitate to do it again ( or something even better ) the following year
armin arlert;
plain and simple, you’re not allowed to lift a finger
he brings you breakfast in bed, he’s giving you presents, he’s running you a bath, literally anything you want he’ll do it for you
( it’s like this on a regular basis but he denies that )
and he’ll make you both a dinner ( which is actually good )
and you guys would probably spend the rest of the night in this extravagant fort ( that armin built without a word ), watching romcoms
levi ackerman;
you never expect much every year but you never expect nothing
levi doesn’t really favor valentines day, he thinks it’s stupid and just a money grabber but ask that man to buy you a bouquet and he’s out the door
he’ll give it to you with a grimace while muttering something but you still find it romantic
but of course, grumpy still believes in the money grabbing part so he insists you guys stay in every year and he’ll cook instead
which you don’t mind ( again, ‘cause it’s actually good compared to w.e eren would’ve made )
every valentines day to date with levi has ended with some cheesy chick flick and he acts like he hates them but he’s definitely invested
hange zoë;
y’all are on vacation
every single year hange refuses to stay home for valentines day because they think it’s boring and generic
so, ( even though you think it’s too expensive), hange flies you guys out somewhere to spend the occasion
“we don’t need to fly out to the bahamas, hange. it’s just valentines day.”
“but i already booked the flight.”
you can’t complain though because spending your valentines day with hange on a beach is something you don’t mind doing every time february comes around
sasha braus;
no matter what the circumstances are, y’all are gonna eat out on valentines day
snow, rain, hail, y’all are going somewhere with food and sasha is determined
and always after your dinners, you guys go home and try to make a valentines day themed treat
which is typically unsuccessful because you have sasha as your own personal human trash disposal but it’s still romantic in the moment
jean kirstein;
just like levi, he’ll say valentines day is pointless but he’ll still have a table booked at some fancy restaurant “just because”
trust me, in the same breath he denies the fact he cares about the occasion he’ll be bending over backwards to get you a good gift
and he manages outdoes himself every year somehow and will still claim the day is stupid
definitely that one mfer that puts roses on the bed for “atmosphere purposes” when you open said gift
connie springer;
seriously, valentines day with connie is fun
he never sticks to anything annually
one year you’ll celebrate at the amusement park, or at a fancy restaurant, one year even landed you two at mcdonald’s but with connie it was all the same
i definitely see you guys just staying in one year and making personal cards for each other
it’s a complete mess of glitter, glue, markers, and stickers but with the amount of laughter it doesn’t matter
his card definitely had a corny dirty joke as the punchline but at this point you consider it romance
mikasa ackerman;
mikasa and valentines day simply don’t mix
kind of like jean and levi, she doesn’t understand it. but like genuinely, she doesn’t
“why do i need a special day to be sweet to you? i do that every day already.”
so, every year you have to turn the tables and do things for her that honestly come as a surprise
she genuinely never expects the presents you get her but she always shows her gratitude and thankfulness
and she keeps every one of them very close to her, literally still sleeps with the bear you won her on your first v—day date at a carnival
You were opening your own exhibit in an art gallery on the west side of town, it was for your final exam- meaning your entire class would be attending and critiquing your art.
To say you were nervous was an understatement, seeing as you had created a trail in the carpet from your constant pacing. It didn’t help that you couldn’t tie your necktie properly, creating one big knot every time you tried.
Hange was hogging your shared room, studying for their forensic science exam. The goal was to refrain from bothering them, but Hange knew how to tie those damned things.
You had no other choice than to barge in, necktie in hand, and give them the biggest puppy eyes you could muster.
They looked up from their work at the sudden intrusion, finding humor in your desperation. “Can’t tie it?” Hange asked, fly aways clouding their vision. They patted their lap, tilting their head to the side. “C’mere.”
Pausing for a brief moment, you took in their appearance: black sweatpants, your white t-shirt, and the unicorn slippers you had gifted them for christmas- “Oh..yeah, okay.” Catching on to your nervousness, Hange shot you a smile. “I tried for like 30 minutes,” you whined, handing them the necktie. “Stupid thing wouldn’t work.”
They laughed, standing up when you didn’t sit, and began tying it around your neck, “You’re so cute,” Hange cooed, fingers messing with the material. “I’ll teach you sometime, it’s pretty easy.”
A brief silence passed as they tightened it, eyes meeting yours as the material tugged you closer, “Are you nervous?” The way they said it seemed mocking, eyes narrowing as they cocked their head to the right.
The temperature felt like it rose 30 degrees, beads of sweat beginning to form on your body. “I uh- yes, I am. It’s my first ope-”
You were cut off as Hange tugged at the tie again, using it as if it were a leash. “Ah, ah, wrong answer, sweetheart.“ They smiled, wrapping the fabric around their wrist, pushing you down as you looked up at them; puppy dog eyes pleading.
The floor beneath your knees was plush, the brown carpet soft- better than the wood in the living room.
An ache between your legs grew- you hadn’t even realized how wet you were until Hange looked down at you. “My opening…it’s in less than an hour..” you trailed off, eyes glued to the rise and fall of their chest. “We can’t-”
Fingers gripped your jaw, gently tilting your head up enough to meet their eyes. “Sweetheart, 30 minutes is all I need.” their fingers fell, but you remained looking up; pleading. “Don’t look at me like that, I need to hear you say it,” they muttered, brushing the hair out of your eyes. “Speak, puppy.”
You huffed out a quiet ‘arf’, making Hange giggle. “Not like that, puppy. Use your words: yes or no.”
“Yes, please Hang-” you were cut off, the force of them tugging you from your knees leaving you breathless.
They attached their lips to yours hungrily, teeth clacking together from the sheer force.
Hange set at a brutal pace, their fingers dancing along your sides: one hand sliding up your shirt, the cold of it causing a shiver to run through you.
“What a good girl,” they whispered in between kisses, unclasping your bra. “Deserve a treat, don’t you?”
The most you could do was helplessly nod as they teased your nipples, tugging and pinching them between their cold fingers.
“Hange,” you moaned, tangling your hand in their hair as the other gripped the desk behind you. “Don’t- don’t stop,” breathless as your arousal grew.
Breaking the kiss, Hange began to trail open-mouth kisses along your neck, careful not to leave a hickey or mark; their other hand slid down your side, gripping your thigh hard enough to bruise. “Get on the desk,” they commanded, pushing you back when you took too long.
Everything was rushed- normally you’d still be making out, but Hange was desperate and you only had 20 more minutes- they didn’t have a moment to spare.
Hastily, they unbuttoned your pants, tossing them to the side as they pulled your plain pink panties to your ankles. “Nice underwear,” Hange commented, kissing your thighs. you felt a rush of embarrassment run through you; face growing redder.
"Shut up,” you whined, head falling to the side. A wooden picture frame sat on the desk, behind the glass was a photo of you and Hange when you went to France. “mangez-moi déjà,” the words sparked a hunger within Hange as they bore into you.
Spreading your legs further, they removed the underwear off of you completely: 10 more minutes. “Did I tell you to speak, puppy?” they slipped two fingers in, head tilting as they watched the way your greedy cunt sucked them in. “More?”
They littered your thigh in love bites, lips brushing against your clit while they continued teasing you.
Your eager moans gave the confirmation they needed, slipping another finger in. “Such a good puppy for me, hm?” Hange pulled themselves closer, replacing their fingers with their tongue. Flat against your folds, they began lapping up your wetness- similar to a thirsty dog.
Hange’s hair was knotted around your fingers, causing slight pain everytime you tugged, but it only egged them on.
They delivered a long lick from the bottom of your vulva to the clit, latching on; creating a small O shape with their lips around the clit as they began sucking and kitten licking.
“Oh my god- Hange, i”m cl-” three fingers slipped inside, curling against your g-spot. Five minutes was all they had to make you cum. “Fu- holy shit,” you moaned, legs clamping around their head as they continued sucking.
The mix of their fingers plunging in and out of you, the vortex they’ve created around your clit- you’re coming undone in seconds, paralyzed as pleasure racks through you.
Your mouth is wide open as your head hangs off the desk, a series of whimpers and whines leaving you as your eyes roll back.
Two minutes left, the time it takes you to recover.
Your hair is a mess, makeup smudged and face red. Creases litter your once pristine, white shirt and you smell of sex, but there is no time to clean up as you throw your pants on; legs wobbly, Hange has to help you.
Hange is proud of the mess they made out of you, desk and face covered in your juices as they kiss you goodbye.
“Good luck on your presentation, puppy.” a wink follows their comment, watching with adoration as you rush out of the house.
Levi x reader // fem!reader x Levi (can be gn!reader if you ignore the mention of pregnancy <3)
I made a second part and am planning for a third (final) part. It was not supposed to be a series, but with some encouraging comments and ideas, here we are.
Synopsis: In a futile attempt to save your life, Levi tries to bargain with fate; he is ignored.
If anything takes you, let it be old age. Levi’s hands ball in a fist, let it be old age, let it be old age.
His pleas go unnoticed, unbeknownst to him. There is no bargaining with fate, but he tries.
Rain continues pouring down; the pelt of drops hitting the window doing little to soothe his nerves. Usually, rainy weather mixed with you would have him sleeping like a baby, but tonight is different.
He knows why, he can feel it in every inch of his soul.
Let old age take you.
It’s useless, wasting his energy on futile attempts to sway the universe’s demands. He stands no chance against fate, he can feel you slipping through his fingers.
Agony spreads through him like a wildfire, he opens the door to your shared room and you’re asleep, of course. Brown hair splayed across the gray, cotton pillowcase, his white shirt riding up your thigh.
For a moment he pauses, reaching out to wake you, but then he thinks ‘I don’t want our last night to be like this’ and takes the empty spot beside you; it’s cold and bare, you’ve stolen all the blankets from him.
Levi doesn’t mind, turning to face you as he wraps an arm around you, the heat of your body seeping through the thick wool to warm him.
You haven’t had nearly enough time to age, not a single prominent wrinkle on your face. There’s small, thin wrinkles in the crease of your eyes from all the times you’ve smiled, a wrinkle here and there on your forehead you’d have to squint to see.
He can’t help but wonder: what will you look like old, having lived a fulfilling life with Levi by your side- but then it hits him all at once, you will never be old.
Levi will not touch the wrinkles on your face and outline them as you sleep, he will not hold your frail hand with his own; he will never place gentle kisses along the stretch marks you gain from carrying his baby, instead he’ll leave flowers at your grave- white roses, your favorite.
You shift beside him, eyes fluttering open to meet his gray ones, “you feel it too, don’t you?” It’s a whisper, as to not startle him.
He startles anyway, jumping slightly, before running his fingers through your damp hair; you’ve never been good at drying it after showers.
“You’re going to get sick one of these days, brat,” he hopes you do, that you live long enough to get a stupid cold from stupid wet hair and he can take care of you. “Next time, let me dry it.”
He’s manifesting a future with you, more days where he can hold you in his arms away from prying eyes.
The wind howls outside, cold air pushing through the cracks, “I know, but you’ll take care of me right, Levi?” you look at him so sweetly, he is afraid he might melt. “You didn’t answer my question, though.”
How can he answer and say yes, when he is nowhere near prepared to let you die? The world will face his wrath, but he cannot let the world have you, not yet; It never would if he was the creator.
After a pause, he nods. “I do, the feeling has sunk its teeth into my soul, my flesh and being,” another pause, words catch in his throat and he almost doesn’t say it. “I love you.”
With his entire self, he loves you. There is not an inch of his soul- of his mind and body, that doesn’t. If given the opportunity, Levi will propel himself into the jaws of a titans for you.
Your touch is etched in his skin. Levi could tell you by breath alone, he’s too intertwined with your soul.
'Whatever your soul is made of,’ he thinks, placing a soft kiss on top of your head. 'Mine is too.’
“Don’t do stupid things, your eyes have that look,” you began, giggling at scrunch of his nose. “-that you get when you’re thinking stupid things, like the time you thought you could beat me in a tea making competition?”
Levi was so sure he’d win, tea was his thing, you didn’t even know the difference between dandelion and chamomile for fucks sake- 'they’re both yellow!’ his ass.
Somehow, against all odds, your tea was perfect. The best tea he has ever had and he was pissed about it, grumpy as hell and refusing to tell a soul you won.
With a grumble, he propped himself up. “Tch, brat. You can be a real ass, you know that? Tell me the difference between chamomile and dandelion tea.”
Flicking his ear, you smiled; probably for the last time and gave him a kiss, “All I know, is that they are both-”
He cuts you off, groaning. “Don’t say it.”
Silence.
“…Yellow.”
He can hear every bone in your body snap, the sheer force of the titans bite having split your body in half; he couldn’t watch, blood- your blood was painting the earth, raining down on him and everyone else.
Five more seconds and you would’ve lived, Levi was too slow and now your blood stains his skin, a reminder of what he lost.
Let old age take them, clearly fate had other plans, allowing a titan to snap your wailing body in half.
You knew, before even stepping foot outside the walls, you knew.
While you were saddling up your horse, you knew, pulling Levi into a hug when the others left.
A quiet “I love you too,” was mumbled into his neck, loud enough for him alone to hear.
Levi remembers you smelled of lavender, your lips tasted of honey and chamomile. It was sweet, you were sweet. The sun had risen, you were busy humming a tune you made.
Life was good at ruining things, he learned at a young age. To think you were an exception was foolish, both you and Levi paid the price of his hopefulness.
You just didn’t think it would be so…painful. The bite itself didn’t hurt, you couldn’t feel a thing. It was the look Levi gave you, stone eyes meeting your dull, glossy ones.
It was a quick death, at the very least the universe gave you that.
Levi’s hand stays entwined with your mangled corpse’s all the way home and one thing is certain: He will never forgive himself, for as long as he lives without you by his side, he will not forgive himself.
↪ content; canon universe, description of violence, season 4, reincarnation!au, heavy angst
Was it three? Four? Jean didn’t really count how many years had passed since the last time he saw you. It was the happiest day of his life when he finally married the woman of his dreams, the first love from his previous lifetime, and his forever more in this one, too. How romantic. To love the same person over and over again.
The venue was decorated so prettily, and he wanted to thank you along with his wife for creating such a blast. You were the best wedding organiser out there, at least to him, you were. Ever since he bumped into you inside the antique bookshops, spending about five years with you as a dear friend, he knew he could count on you.
So imagine his surprise when there was only your assistant idling around by the end of the day. With a folder in her hand and a notebook with your handwritten tucked inside. Something for him. Just him, not the others, and of course not for Mikasa.
He needed time to understand the reason. Reading page by page for a bazillion of times since he was afraid he missed some information. He hoped you hinted where you would go or what you were going to do in between the lines as his heart skipped a beat faster. Thinking that maybe you tried to say something.
But even after he read it every day before he fell asleep, Jean learned nothing from it except a little fairy tale that was now engraved in his brain.
There was a little girl. So naïve — not knowing what kind of danger lingered outside the wall.
Walls. Titans. Such a bizarre story you had written there. About survival, friendship, different beliefs and so many more condensed into your notebook. There were some sentences he felt so familiar with, especially when the girl interacted with her best friend. Some promises, the banter and how they teased each other.
Jean had a smile plastered on his face every time he read it, as if he was reminiscing some old memories. One that he could never forget with how precious it was to him.
One that he eventually did without him being aware of it.
“I am ready now.” Turning around, he couldn’t help but wolf-whistle when he saw how gorgeous his wife was. “Do I look good?” She twirled around, raven hair floating in the air as she showed off her emerald body-con dress, hugging her body so perfectly.
“Babe, all men would be jealous of me to have you in my arms.” He let out a small chuckle and pressed a deep kiss on her lips, leaving a wet smack sound when he pulled away. “Let’s go then. I am betting the others are waiting.”
Mikasa Ackerman, now Mikasa Kirstein. The smugness on his face every time he remembered how his friend gawked at him never faltered. Even after years went by, he was still proud of having such a pretty lady to be called as his wife. The days that went by felt like he was newly wed all over again since she never once changed.
Something that made him want to wake up every morning, knowing how perfect his life was. Yes, perfect. But not complete, never complete.
Jean didn’t know what else he needed. He had a wife that loved him so, a stable job in such a prestigious law firm, and an adorable dog that had become their kid for the last couple of years. Marco once told him that maybe he wanted a baby, but even when he knew Mikasa could not bear children, he didn’t feel disappointed at all.
That was what made him decide to travel around the world in his free time. Taking his wife with him as they went on a random journey every time. He tried to find the meaning of life, what could have possibly made him whole. Some said he needed to be grateful. He did, he always did, with what the world had bestowed upon him.
Yet, after a few years went by, and he still had that gap in his days, he ended up taking it as some kind of redemption, perhaps an atonement over his sin in the past life.
“Goodness, is that Sasha?” Mikasa pointed at someone who was now standing in front of the restaurant with her husband, Niccolo, right beside her. “She smuggled something inside her bag. She never changed, Jean.” A small giggle slipped from her lips, followed by a deep chuckle from him as he parked the car.
A reunion. Just a small one in between him, Connie, Sasha, and Marco. The golden quartet, you once said. And the four of them thought it had become a quintet ever since he brought you into his house and introduced you to them. But now, it was back to just them, never once changed as no one actually fitted in as easily as you.
Taking a deep breath, he felt a shiver down his spine the second he was out of his car. Winter was never kind to those who went out, they knew that, but it wouldn’t be them if they were not being stubborn. After all, three years had passed ever since Marco moved to New Zealand, and since he was coming back, they had to celebrate.
The second he went inside the restaurant with his wife, a loud cheer from Connie and Sasha resonated throughout the place, making some pairs of eyes turn to face him. Mikasa could only chuckle at that, always loving the warm atmosphere every time the two rascals were around before she pushed Jean to get them.
He didn’t waste a time and just ruffled his best friends, feeling so light as he felt like this was the only moment he felt almost complete. When their friends surrounded him, tears pricked the corner of their eyes from too much laughing, making fun of each other to no end to the point they were embarrassing each other.
And for a split second, he thought about how everything could be much better if you were still around. If only you were not gone without a trace.
“Starting the reunion without me?” A smooth, angelic tone that belonged to the only sane person in the group stopped them from killing each other. “I thought we were here to celebrate my return. Guess not, huh?”
“Oh, come here Mr Bodt!”
The husband and wives of the quartet knew it was time for them to enjoy their time, giving their loved ones some moment to reminisce about life. Three years wasn’t short for Jean, Marco, Connie and Sasha, who used to spend their time together for probably the first fifteen years of their life since elementary school.
Jean felt like the night was perfect. The fact that one of his best friends returned to Paradis was also a plus. Knowing they could hang out like they used to, having back the routine he once lost, maybe after this, he would feel complete.
And oh, he felt exactly that. He felt in every fibre of his being the second Marco leaned away and cleared his throat to reveal someone else that went with him to the reunion, someone that Jean thought would never see again.
There was you, in all your glory. With the same smile he remembered the last time he saw your face. He couldn’t move his body, lips slightly parted as he thought his eyes deceived him. You were here. You were coming back to them, to his life.
He wasn’t able to grasp whatever Marco said as the ravenette patted your shoulders. His pupil followed you around, looking at how you kissed Sasha’s cheeks and tried to calm her down since she was crying by now. Connie just had his jaw dropped to the ground, saying no way! repeatedly underneath his breath as it grew louder and louder.
You fitted back in so easily. Just like that. Here again as if you never left in the first place. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so many things he wondered. Jean felt happy, fuming, hurt, all at the same time because he longed to see you, to have you in his life. He had lost you once before. He didn’t want to lose you again.
“Hello, Jean.” You waved your hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his reverie. “How are you? I saw Mikasa before. She’s as pretty as ever! Bet you have been treating her right with how much she glows.”
“Oh, you know me.” Of course you did. He didn’t need to explain or say much since you were the one who knew him best, after all. “I always treat those I love with everything I can give to them, anyway.”
The missing piece of the puzzle appeared out of nowhere. Slipping back into his life and making his time searching for it came to waste. It was you. Always did from the first moment he tugged your wrist. The person who was so important that he felt like he had lost something when you were gone without a trace.
You kept your hands on your lap as you sat beside him, with Marco on the other side as he asked what you wanted to order. Jean couldn’t help himself but pointed at some dishes on the menu, things that he felt so sure you liked. If those four years you went missing didn’t change you, you would pick one of his recommendations.
And the night rolled on without a hitch. No one thought it was weird to see another lady in between the rowdy quartet. Yes, you always belonged there. Not even one spouse thought you weren’t supposed to be among them.
Sometimes Connie and Sasha would ask what you had been doing. After all, even though you could click right in with them so easily, they were still curious about what happened in the vast gap of years they missed you. Whether you were happy, whether you missed them too, whether you found someone —
And when you smiled and glanced in hisdirection. The two immediately kept their lips curled into a soft smile.
They didn’t need to ask more. They understood without you needing to elaborate with words. But Jean? He did. He needed to hear you spell it out for him.
However, when stupid banter and over the top jokes replaced the somewhat serene atmosphere from before, he stopped himself. Maybe he could ask you later when the two of you were alone. You were always more open around him, and he hoped a few years apart didn’t change that part.
It was almost ten, and they were the only crowd who stayed in this restaurant. The only customer left. Marco felt like it was time for them to end the night, much to everyone’s dismay, since tomorrow was Monday anyway.
They had to get enough sleep so they wouldn’t get hazy in the morning for work. At the reminder of that, the rest of the group could only groan and nodded, dispersing to get fresh air since there was some alcohol flowing in their blood.
Jean thanked Mikasa for accompanying him, smiling all the way to his ears when she gave him a kiss and told him she would be the one who drove. It was really nice indeed, a surprising night since he didn’t expect you to be here again, to appear with his best friend and grace him with your presence that was long gone.
Walking towards the balcony, he lit his cigarette to clear his mind. And lady luck seemed to be on his side tonight the moment he saw you leaned in at the railing with a glass of water in your hand.
“I thought you were going home.”
“Hm? Not yet, Jean.”
He leaned his back on the railing, puffing out some greyish smoke into the air. Five feet apart, because he knew you disliked the smell of the burned cigarette.
You didn’t even turn to face him. Not a gesture of surprise could be seen as he stepped inside your space. He wondered what you were thinking, and most importantly, he wanted to know why you came back after all those years.
“I read your notebook every day.” But if he wanted you to tell him everything. He needed to play his card right. “Before I sleep. Every day, ever since I received it.”
Jean didn’t let you question his commitment. Clarifying what he had done for the last four years. He wanted you to know how much your existence meant to him, and how the past years without you there had been consuming him little by little. Even though you were just his best friend, he cherished you as much as he did for his wife.
“I see.” He glanced at you, wanting to see your reaction. You only twirled the mineral water around, not even an ounce of emotion changed your neutral visage. “What do you think, then?”
“It was heartbreaking.”
“Of course. It’s not really about rainbow and—”
“But also nostalgic, in a way.”
Your pupils dilated at his words. There, the exact emotion that he couldn’t fathom. You stopped responding; you stopped whatever words you wanted to say and merely — existed. Hell, sometimes he thought you didn’t even breathe when you were like this. “I wanted to ask you something. No, a lot of things, actually.”
As he took a step closer towards you, it almost made him falter when he saw the way you leaned away. Four years have changed you. He was aware of that. But he still needed you to clarify something, if that was possible. He just needed to know why. He wanted to know what he did wrong for you to leave him in the dust.
Not just him. Connie and Sasha would often ask where you were, and if everything was alright while Marco comforted them. The three of them would be crazy thinking about your whereabouts if only the ravenette didn’t calm them down.
“It’s late, Jean.” You took a deep breath, shutting your eyes for a second there before it laid upon him. “We can talk tomorrow. I am going to move here again so we can catch up anytime we want.” That smile on your face. He frowned when he realised it didn’t reach your eyes. “After all, your wife waited for you, right?”
It felt like he had been in this place before. In the same situation where he was so close to knowing, to learn about something between you and him, and yet it always dispersed into nothing as you assured him he shouldn’t be worried about it.
As if you didn’t want him to know. As if you tried to hinder him from finding out the truth.
“Why did you always push me away…?”
He sounded so broken when he threw the question, and you gaped at how vulnerable the intonation that lingered there. “Do you know something? Have you seen any memories from the past? Is it that badwith me?”
“Jean, no. I—” You wanted to calm him down. Your palm was hovering right in front of his chest, but you stopped yourself. It looked like you were scared to touch him. “I can’t. Please know that I can’t talk about this. There’s a reason and maybe one day you could understand. But I hope you didn’t. I really hope you neverdid.”
“So you actually see the past.” He snorted in disbelief. All those times he tried to tell you about the awakened memories. All those years, he thought you were clueless and just another normal human being. It was a lie. “Then you know? On my wedding day, I was so close to see it through but you didn’t let me, you — you lied to me!”
“Jean!”
“And why is that, huh? Am I turned out to be such a despicable person? Is that the reason you moved away, telling no one about it?!”
“No! You don’t understand! The past few years also tortured me! But I did it because I must evade you, Jean. I did it for you—”
“Everything’s okay?”
The two heads whipped towards the source of the voice. Marco raised one of his eyebrows before scrunching his forehead since he would never have thought to see you and Jean having a heated argument. “It’s late. I think both of you drank too much liquor. If there’s something you both need to talk about, I suggest tomorrow.”
He strode right beside you, standing so close, as if he tried to shield you from Jean. The taller man could only look down at his best friend with disbelief before grumbling a bit underneath his breath.
A ravenette, always a ravenette. The one who blocked him from unravelling his own memory was Mikasa back then, and now it was Marco.
“Fine, then.”
“Good. I am sure Mikasa is waiting for you, too.”
Marco smiled at him, and the tension Jean felt slowly lifted off his shoulder. His best friend was right, he had to go back since Mikasa had been so kind to wait for him. What a perfect woman indeed, and he gave a small nod towards the freckled man.
From your words, you were really going to stay here again. So if by chance he could grab a coffee with you, he would continue this conversation then. Completely sober because he didn’t want to mess things up. “We will see you later, Jean. Goodnight.”
“Yeah, pal. Good—”
“You know, Jean?” He was barely done replenishing the gas for his manoeuvring gear when Marco sat beside him. “I think you are not really in love with Mikasa.”
“What?” Jean stopped what he did. All the shouts of excitement from another cadet were muted as he could only hear his best friend’s voice. Marco had the audacity to have a smirk on his face, not facing him still as he fixed his boots. “Oi, how come you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth. You actually put your heart in your sleeve, Jean.”
Jean immediately stood from where he sat, forcing the freckled boy to look at him because of his abrupt movement. He didn’t know where the ravenette got that idea from. And surely he didn’t expect him to say it now when they were going to climb back on top of the wall after retaking the headquarters. Couldn’t he wait to discuss this? Something as — important as his heart?
“No, I am not.” He jutted his lips out, something that only elicited a chuckle from his best friend. Something that made Jean scowl even more now. “I adore her entire existence, Marco. She is the prettiest woman out there. So brave and the greatest soldier in our ranks. Shit, even when all she could think of was Eren, I still want her!”
“Are you really?” Those light brown orbs fixated on someone behind him, one that he immediately followed since he wanted to know what Marco had been trying to say to him.
Sasha slumped herself towards you, practically crying and wailed some gratitude on your chest. You were not even trying to get her off you, understanding how shocked she would have been since a titan almost got her. If you were not there to kill the one she was assigned to before, maybe Sasha wouldn’t even be here right now.
You and your gentle nature, so nurturing to those around but at the same time could be such a clown around them. Jean only let out a small chuckle at the sight of the two girls, and when you realised he had been looking at you, he could feel his cheeks heated.
But he didn’t look away, not feeling embarrassed that you caught him, not at all.
“I couldn’t really hide things from you, huh, Marco?” He whispered out underneath his breath, just enough for the ravenette to hear him. “Since when did you know about it?”
“Since the first day, maybe.” Turning around, he faced Marco once again, who was now down with the preparation. “You always talked about her, telling me about her stupid antics. And of course, that soft smile on your face, Jean.”
“Yeah, can’t help it when she always makes me feel like I am…” He chuckled. The smile reached his eyes in the middle of this hellish time from just the thought of you. “…whole.”
Jean didn’t want anyone to know, actually. About how he was secretly in love with his best friend, someone who knew him like the back of their hand. He once asked Connie to nudge the idea of him liking you, but the bald boy said you only fake gagged and walked away, a sign that Jean took for him to take a step back.
The world only needed to know that Mikasa Ackerman rejected him. One person was enough. He didn’t need them to know you also did.
“Why do you hide it away, though?”
“Oh, come on, Marco.” His chuckle now turned bitter. “I am not risking what I already have with her.”
Jean swallowed an enormous lump before turning around, beckoning his best friend to follow suit, as he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. With Mikasa, it was fine because they started as strangers. But with you? He clicked with your mind and taste in joke, practically chose you as his ally since day one he saw you tamed Sasha.
He didn’t want to throw the dice, wondering if maybe he could have more with you. So he decided to just love Mikasa, continuing his admiration while still keeping you close.
Because he was aware, he wouldn’t feel complete without you in his life.
Jean sucked a deep breath, not believing himself or what he just saw. Everything, everything. It felt like time stopped as all the memories from his past life came into him. Not just a glimpse, not just a spark or anything he had seen before when he was with Mikasa or anyone else he met before.
It was just a playful pat from Marco on his shoulder, but he swore it made his legs wobble for a second there as if the freckled man tried to push him off the balcony. He couldn’t breathe, not knowing where the oxygen in his lungs went with these memories came to him like a hurdle of waves, trying to drown him out.
He wanted to reach out towards you and the ravenette who was already walking away. Marco had his left hand intertwined with yours, practically pulling you away from him and it just — it wasn’t fair and it hurt.
“Hey.”
Jean called out to you, feeling so relieved when you stopped walking and took another look at him. Right now, there was only you in his eyes. You, the one who knew him best, maybe the same or even more than the man who stood behind you.
There were so many things he wanted to say. So many words that were left unsaid after the whirlpool of emotion came crashing down at him. And when you pursed your lips, when he saw tears glossed your eyes despite you tried to keep it at bay, he had a feeling that you knew.
Oh, you knew that he knew.
The promises. What he had said before in the life where the two of you were reckless soldiers, everything went up to the surface after being buried by nature.
So this was the reason you always had some kind of subtle reaction when he talked about Mikasa. This was the reason you ended up moving to another place without telling him, the thing that pushed you to go away and settled your heart somewhere else.
Because you realise the promises had been broken the second he said I do, four years ago, in front of Mikasa Ackerman.
“I promise, I promise I will find you one day.”
He did. He found you here in this lifetime. A place without titan, without the two of you having to be afraid that every moment would be the last.
“We will be happy by then.”
However, it was nothing like the one he had in mine. Not the one youhad been waiting for. The two of you didn’t meet and fall in love, not married to one another and have kids or anything you were supposed to tell him. The house he bought in previous lifetime and this one — it wasn’t for you. Not for you to take a shelter in with him.
He could have that. If only in this life too,he was willing to gamble his friendship with you. Maybe you were the one who had his last name instead of the woman who now waited for him in the driver’s seat.
But the two of you were aware that maybe, no matter what kind of world he resided in, this was how it would end with you.
“Y-Yes, Jean?”
With him to live and fall in love with someone else, and you to stay in his life as nothing more but a dearest friend.
↪content; warrior!reader, aged-up character, graphic description of violence, slow burn, season 4 spoiler
“T-Thank you, sir!”
He stuttered out and bowed a little to the soldier who gave him five loaves of bread. Though the older man did not acknowledge his gratitude at all, instead he just sneered at him, making him flinch since he was reminded of the fact that this island filled with demons.
His long feet stride out from the line, wanting to get back to where his friends waited. Today it was his duty to get the food for his companions, and it needed all of his courage to utter how many people in his family were left when the soldier asked him.
Four, it was the right answer that he was supposed to say. But he couldn’t help but stutter five instead. It had only been a few weeks after they breached the outer wall, Maria, and yet he still couldn’t believe that it was only the four of them now.
Each of them was grieving. Annie would now scowl a lot and buried her face in her hands, not wanting anyone to see the vulnerable look on her face. Reiner was different, he tried to act tough despite the nightmares that often accompanied him in his sleep. While him? He hid his sadness and pain deep inside his heart because he knew that someone suffered more.
You, you didn’t talk at all for days as if you were just their shadows. Annie made sure that you were not hurt when he and Reiner crushed the gate. And even though you were not uttering any words, you could do your task ideally without a hitch, and that was to sneak inside with battered clothes, acting like a child who lost everything.
But maybe you were indeed lost everything, that was what he thought when he saw you just staring into spaces without any expression on your face. The bubbly and warm person that he met back then in Marley was nowhere to be found at this point and he hoped that someday he could meet her again.
When his pale green eyes fell to the familiar strands of your hair, he started to run, wanting to give you the bread for today since the sun was up for hours yet no one ate anything just yet. The shelter where all of them were hiding was an abandoned barn just outside the main city, no one knew who the owner of it was, but when Reiner found it empty, they decided to use it as a temporary house.
They just needed to survive for a few years and they could enroll in the military after that. But now they had to make a plan about what they should do in the meantime. Now they were just four orphans who lost everything from wall Maria. A few days ago a soldier gave them a form to fill out, consisting of some questions about names, birth, and the residence they used to live in before.
And that was the first time he heard your voice after weeks wallowing yourself in silence. When Marcel was alive, he told you that you needed to change your last name. Just for a disguise, it was the safest option because who would have expected if someone knew the weight of your name.
“No.” You whispered out, one hand scribbling down the paper to write your name. “I am not going to lose my identity. No.” There was a lingering pain in your voice that everyone could notice. “I will do anything, Reiner, but not this. This is my last name and I will lose it if someone takes it away from me.”
The blonde frowned when he heard your rebellion, you seemed fine when Marcel asked you to do that back then, but now you changed your mind and he wished he knew the words that could sway you. You continued to write down your information without stopping while the boys stared at you with wonder.
Annie knew that you couldn’t be forced to do something that you wouldn’t do, so she just shrugged it off and focused on her paper, not wanting to spend her time filling forms if she could do it fast. She really thought Reiner would drop it after hearing your statement, but sometimes he just didn’t know when to stop.
“Hey, but Marcel would tell you to do the same.”
Bertolt could imagine his friend getting beaten up again at this point. But this time not from Annie, instead, he would get it from you who was now gripping so tight on the pencil that he was afraid you would stab the armoured titan inheritor on the neck with it.
“That’s the thing, Braun.” You gritted your teeth, avoiding yourself for kicking him on the face. And when the poor boy heard you called him by his last name, he knew that he was done for good. “Marcel is not here anymore, and you are not Marcel.”
Bertolt made a note on his head that he would never want to get on your bad side. He felt a shiver down his spine at that time when you completely disregarded Reiner, and those words were not even for him. He couldn’t imagine what his friend felt, must be hell for sure.
“Hey, I-I got the food for us today.” Stopping on his track right in front of you. You were currently cleaning up the dust on the window, he recalled you said that you despised dirty windowpane last night, and he raised his eyebrow since he wondered how you got some clothes to clean it up with.
“Thank you, Bertolt.” You gave him a soft smile, and from just that gesture he could feel his cheek burning from — goodness, he didn’t even know what he was feeling right now. “Oh? You got five? How?” He was still in a trance when you threw the question, making him baffled for a second there.
“I said that there were five members in my family.” He averted his eyes, ashamed to confess that to you. That and the fact he would see the sadness inside your eyes if he did so.“I didn’t mean to, really, b-but I only realised it after the soldier gave the portion to me.”
“Oh, Bertolt.” You let out a long sigh and grabbed two pieces of bread from his hand. “You know you could correct yourself after that, right?” He knew that you were scolding him, but with how soft your voice was, he just accepted it, not even once trying to correct himself. “I will give it back to the soldier, okay? You go inside, Reiner and Annie are waiting for you.”
“But shouldn’t you eat first?” He was concerned for sure, and despite knowing the fact that you could handle this harsh world by yourself, he was not sure if it was the right choice to let you go alone. “I can drop this off to them and I can accompany you, right?”
You chuckled at this, and his pupils widened at that since it was the first time you expressed some kind of joyful gesture since Marcel’s incident. Your eyes closed as you chuckled at him, he didn’t know what he did to make you like this but his brain short-circuited to even think about it. He just stood there with mouth agape, enjoying the pure, melodious giggle that slipped from your mouth.
“Bertolt,” And how much he loved his name rolled down your tongue was uncanny. “It’s okay, I will eat mine on the way. And I can handle myself, I am going to be back before you know it! You don’t have to be concerned about me.” You gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder, and his body went rigid at that. “See you later, tell the others where I am going, okay?”
He was too frozen in the spot even when you already strolled down the street with the loaves of bread in your hand. There was no time for him to answer you, and he felt like all the words were stuck in his throat. You just touched him, that was the only thing that he could process right now.
Yes, it was nothing special since you always held Pieck’s hand back then or gave a pat to the other warrior candidates (especially Porco, for as long as he remembered even though the boy seemed to dislike your presence and unfazed by it), but to him, feeling your touch like that was everything.
It gave him some kind of boost, maybe it was the warm tingle that he felt whenever you were around or the fact that your existence just screamed comfort — he didn’t know exactly what caused him to treasure your touch. What he knew for sure that in the end, he enjoyed your company.
“Oi, Bertolt! Why are you standing there like a statue?!”
“S-Sorry, Reiner—”
〄
The wind caressed your hair as you wandered down the street, turning left and right to the alleyway that would lead you to the plaza. This place had been your home for a few weeks now, and you started to enjoy living here, greeting some people here and there despite how many times Reiner told you not to.
They would ask, of course, where you were from. And you always answered it without hesitation, without a pause, as if the one who talked was an entirely different person with how you always lost all the light in your face when you gave them your answer. They would sympathize, and you took their pity and kept acting it out.
You had a different approach in this mission compared to the other warrior. While they decided to keep a low profile, you were going all out and showed yourself as a victim from the fall of wall Maria. Lots of benefits coming your way with how some adults asked you to move in with them or offering you a job so you could fend for yourself.
Their offers were always so sweet, but you didn’t want to leave your friends inside a cold barn with nothing to lay on except the pile of hay. You always ended up cuddling with Annie, not caring that she wanted to kick you on the face at first for not giving her enough space, she ended up liking to sleep in your embrace days after that, so for you, it was all worth it.
Maybe though, their offer about working for them could help you. There were some of them and you sure at least one of the jobs had good earnings. You could buy food for your friends if that was the case, all of you didn’t have to rely on free food anymore. And so, you decided that you would go to the adult near the plaza after this, asking if the offer was still up.
“I am sorry! It was already late and there was only one bread left for us!”
Your ears caught the distressed tone that came from the alleyway near you. The plaza was empty now since it seemed like the ration already finished for the day. To know that a lot of people couldn’t even have one bread to eat made your stomach churned with guilt and anger for yourself.
“It’s alright, Armin. We can share it.”
“Yeah, it’s not like I eat a lot anyway.”
There were three of them, three children that looked like they were the same age as you, and they only got one piece of bread for the whole day. Knowing that the soldier was not there anymore and the commotion already dispersed, you decided to give the bread to them instead.
Your tiny feet waddled toward them, they were currently deep in thought about how to divide the food fairly. And you were thankful that you haven’t eaten your fair of bread, so now each of the kids could have one.
“Excuse me,” You interrupted their discussion, three pairs of eyes immediately turned to face you. Two of them looked at you with confusion while the other one had her eyes filled with caution. “I am sorry, I heard about your problem before, and I have two extra pieces of bread that you guys could take.”
The two boys, one with blonde hair and the other with short dark brown hair — looked at each other without saying anything. It was like they had this kind of bond, talking through their minds before giving each other a nod. Maybe they were debating if it was alright to accept your hospitality or not.
“It’s fine, but is this bread really alright for us to take?” The boy with the ocean blue eyes spoke up, taking one step forward to your figure. “What about you then, have you eaten yet today?”
“Yes, it’s fine. If not, I am not going to offer it in the first place.” You gave him a gentle smile before answering his next question a little bit too quickly to your liking. “Don’t worry about me! I already got breakfast before and ate mine. You don’t have to think—”
“You are lying.” The girl that had been silent the whole time suddenly cut your sentence. “Don’t tell me I am wrong because I am sure that I am right.” She didn’t sugarcoat her words at all, and you couldn’t understand anymore if her words mean good or bad. Because surely her onyx orbs looked at you as if you were a threat.
You closed your eyes and exhaled loudly, knowing that you couldn’t lie anymore with how sharp the three of them were. But this fact wouldn’t stop you from wanting them to take your fair.
“Well, yes, I haven’t eaten.” Surrendering yourself to honesty, you continued. “But I am going to be fine, an adult in this shop near the plaza offered me a job and food, so I could get it from them after this.” You explained truthfully, handing them the bread thereafter.
“Then how come you had extra bread in the first place?” The short-haired boy now squinting his eyes, wanting to understand your hidden motive in case there were any. “You had one for yourself too despite knowing that you could get food from this adult you told us about. So why should we trust you?”
“Eren!”
Ah, so the boy’s name is Eren. You thought, couldn’t believe that someone would even doubt the others for giving free food. But then again, you couldn’t blame them for being extra cautious. No one knew what could happen inside these walls. The worst-case scenario from this was that you poisoned them to get rid of another life to prevent any more hunger.
“You don’t have to trust me, of course.” You answered him with a soft and calm tone, something that you learned from your house back in Marley. That even when someone raised their voice at you, you needed to handle them with care. “My friend was the one who got the food from me, and he didn’t check that he got extra food, so I am here with the first mission to give it back to the garrison soldier.”
You gave them the answer that they want, both hands still pushed forward, waiting for them to take it. “Promise I wouldn’t disturb you anymore, I just want to make sure you guys get enough food. That’s all.”
There was a long silence engulfing the four of you. That was until the blonde took the bread out of your hand and gave you a smile of gratitude, which you answered with the same gesture as him. The other two were now looking at you with a softened gaze, finally stripping away their caution towards you.
“I am sorry that I sounded rude before.” The brunette started, giving you a cheeky smile as his ears tinted with a pinkish hue. “I just need to be careful around strangers, everything just messed up at this time, you know?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes darkening as if a terrible memory fleeting through his mind for a second.
“It’s fine. I know where that thought is coming from.” You kicked the pebbles near your foot before, making it bounce to the wall as you looked down. “Everything is just a nightmare after the breach.” And you tried so hard not to break down, not in front of anyone, especially those who were the victim of your action. “All of you — didn’t deserve any of it.”
Your voice that was so warm and comforting before now turned into a completely different tone. There was sadness, at least that was what they could hear from you. They couldn’t see the expression in your eyes since you persisted in looking down at your feet, avoiding their gaze at all cost.
“And you didn’t deserve it too.”
The blonde, that if you recalled from before was called Armin, telling you words that you thought you wouldn’t need to hear. “No one wanted this to happen, no one deserved to live like this.” He continued, and you were ready to crumble even more. “But this is our life, for now, so we can’t do anything else but move on.”
You wanted to get down on your knees, hugging his legs as you begged for forgiveness. Just like what you saw in some of the memories from your ancestors, there were just normal human beings inside these walls. Just like in Marley, just like on the other continent, there were good and bad people, and nothing differentiated them except the fact that they had a titan’s blood flowing inside their veins.
Nothing else but that — and the dangerous truth that lies within the walls.
“It’s called rumbling, right?”
Just one month from now, you were going to inherit the war hammer titan, and you have been studying a lot, reading the journal that your ancestor wrote. The book was so helpful, preparing you to know the truth that this world had to hide. Sometimes your twelve years old brain could not even understand it.
The past few years you had been training hard privately. You got the best instructor, honing your mental and physical build at the same time. But since you reached the age of ten, your father introduced you to Commander Magath who was in charge of the Warrior Unit, the unit for those titan inheritors.
And you trained with them ever since then. Creating a bond and friendship to those who would fight alongside you in the upcoming battle. The majority of them were easy to talk with like Marcel, Pieck, Zeke, Reiner, and Bertolt. While the rest — not so much.
Annie was fine though, she still talked to you here and there and taught you about some certain techniques of hand-to-hand combat that you deemed remarkably useful. Porco on the other hand, you wanted to grimace at the interaction that you had with him. Yet despite all that, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling for just thinking about him.
But this moment was not the right time to reminisce about the warrior training, not when a few months from now, you would embark on a mission to reclaim the founding titan.
“Yes, when the founding titan decided to unharden the walls and released millions of colossal titan, it was called rumbling.” Your father sat across from where you were, filling out papers from the military about you. “If that happened, the whole world would turn into nothing.”
You gave a nod of acknowledgement, fingers tracing the ink that seeped on the worn-out paper journal.
“So it was risky to let the founding titan stay in Paradis since no one knew if someday they would activate the rumbling or not.” You stated the sentence as a matter of factly, absorbing the information that sometimes made your head pound. “It was risky since they closed themselves inside those walls and no one knew what happened there.”
“Yes, my dear.” His voice cracked like any other time, having so much burden for throwing you to the frontline of the battle like that. You, his little star, his precious daughter that he never wanted to turn her into a war machine that could only live for thirteen years. “That is why you need to prevent it from happening.”
But it was something that needed to be done — and there was nothing that you could do except embracing the cruel truth like an old friend.
“Yes, you are right.” Fixing your composure, you were back to the kind girl from before. “Thank you for telling me that, I think I need it.” You chuckled softly, fingers tucking the strands of your hair behind the ear. “I-I will go now, then. Hope all of you survive and continue on living!”
Bowing yourself a little before departing (a trait that you couldn’t shake off that easily), you waved at them and turned your heels, walking away from the three children that you really hoped would have a beautiful life ahead, for as long as they could have.
“Wait!” But you halted your feet to move forward when you heard Eren’s voice calling out for you.
“Yes? What is it?” You were still not that far from them, so you decided to use your normal volume as if they were still right in front of you.
“We haven’t got your name!” Yet despite how calm you were, the boy seemed to choose to shout at you anyway. “I am Eren! This is Armin and Mikasa, they are everything that I had left! Now, what’s yours?!”
Hearing how excited he was made you giggle, such a complete opposite for real compared to him a few minutes ago when he looked at you with caution. Now he became the child he was supposed to be, with a wide grin on his face as he just wanted to know the name of his probably new friend.
And so you indulged him with it, answering his question with a clear and solid tone.
“It’s (Y/n)!” You decided to shout back, equaling his enthusiasm. “(Y/n), (Y/n) Tybur!”
↪content; canon universe, description of violence, season 4 spoiler, forbidden love, marleyan!reader, scouts!jean, chapter 139 spoiler
You stopped whatever you were doing in an instant, both hands freezing midair as a flock of birds suddenly landed beside you. That was strange, you never saw this type of bird flying around your house before. Those birds had silky white feathers and beady black eyes, some had their gaze fixated on you.
But then again, perhaps you shouldn’t have been surprised that you never saw them before.
It was not like you have been living here for years, no. For the last three years, you were here as a new citizen in a world where the fear of titans finally gone. Everything was at peace for years as this newborn country strengthened its military — under the command of the Queen.
Yes, the Queen, Historia Reiss. Never once you ever thought you would be living here of all places in the world, tending flower beds and watering plants. A Marleyan like you, the mortal enemy of those Eldians somehow slipped inside the society and even lived inside the innermost part of the country.
You lived in prime real estate located in the countryside; a medium-sized house with huge land, different compared to those gigantic and majestic buildings in the downtown area. The atmosphere was unique and you preferred this kind of house instead of the luxurious, blinding one. For you, this is home, and you couldn’t wait to share it with your lover.
“(Y/n)! Don’t stay too long in the garden!”
A familiar shout rang through the open area, making you turn your head to face them. She stood there with her comfortable white dress, maroon-coloured apron draped in front of her figure to make sure that any specks of dirt didn’t smear her dress while her brown hair sticking out from her tight ponytail.
“I will be there in a few minutes, Ma!”
You shouted back at the top of your lungs, knowing full well that her hearing was not as sharp as yours. She just shook her head in amusement at your answer since she could predict already that your few minutes could turn to an hour or even more. Just a habit of yours, though she wouldn’t force you to stop since it took your mind off things.
Just as she did by cooking some omelette and comfort foods as she too — waiting for someone to come back.
She had a separate house near the Queen’s residence, assigned there by her majesty herself. But ever since you knocked on her front door and introduced yourself to her, she decided that it would be better if she lived with you for a while, at least until her son came back. Until your love came back to your arms once again.
There were letters after letters being shared despite how out of reach he was from you. You lived every day in hope that his mission to make peace with the outside world resulted in success. Lots of prayers have been sung to whatever deity existed in this world, never once stopped for every day you woke up.
And today was just like any other day as you waited for him by occupying yourself with daily chores and a new hobby. You used to wake up to strategize the next move and train in the military, being a normal citizen was still a little bit bizarre for you.
Though you already told the Queen that if in case she needed assistance regarding the air force, you would be ready to be called.
Yet three years had passed ever since your arrival, and never once she called you to the military. You had a gut feeling that your lover might have something to do with it, so you could only hope he didn’t try to pull any strings behind your back and become the reason why you were never once interrupted.
Well, it was not like you didn’t want this. When you finally wake up without fear, without being afraid that you had to see another bloodshed, without being afraid to love whoever you wanted to love. This was the world that you have been dreaming of, so maybe, it’s fine to just enjoy it as long as you can.
Your fingers used to be covered with blood, now only covered with dirt and soil. Sometimes you couldn’t believe it yourself as you were afraid to go to sleep, not wanting to wake up and realise all of this was just a dream.
But it was not a dream.
It was all real — ever since that day.
Your whole body felt so numb as you stared into the distance, back leaning to the old building behind you, not understanding what actually unfurled in front of your eyes right now.
Everything was still replayed so vividly in your mind. His ash-brown strands dishevelled from the war he had been partaking of, chocolate orbs that filled with love and regret as he took another look at you, his voice — oh his deep, comforting voice that sung like a lullaby every time he spoke.
And then bright yellow light blinded your vision.
The impact of the explosion threw you off, back arching as your body hit a concrete wall. Your vision blurred, your head pounding from the impact. But you could still see the gigantic feet right in front of you — gigantic feet that belong to a titan, replacing where your lover once stood.
You saw it, the long, familiar strands of hair that you loved to caress, those eyes that now turned into the darkest shade of brown stared at you with an emotion that you couldn’t fathom. Then he jerked his head to the other side, jumping off the cliff with the other titans like a puppet whose strings were pulled.
There goes your love, that is what you already believe. Everyone knew about how once someone turned into a mindless titan, there was no way for them to change back as a human except if they ate the nine titan inheritor. And you didn’t put any hope over that, just slumping your body and surrendering yourself to the situation.
You didn’t know since when you drifted off somewhere as black filled your vision. But in your mind, you see him standing in front of you as he reaches out his hand for you to take. In your dream, you saw him playing around the backyard with a little kid that looked so familiar with him. In perhaps a distant future, you welcomed him home after a day full of hard work.
Then you opened up your eyes, disappointed as it was the same as what you saw before. The blistering heat attacked whoever was unfortunate enough to be outside right now, dealing with the monstrous creature as the fate of the world was in their hands.
But it was silent now, the roar of those mindless titans, booming footsteps that rumbling the ground, two enormous titans who fought each other before — it all stopped and gone as the only thing that welcomed you was a quiet, somewhat peaceful atmosphere.
With your legs still wobbling from the impact before, you looked around as you wondered what happened now. Finding no one in sight, not even from the Marleyan Military made you raise your eyebrows in confusion. Was it all done? The war between Eren Yeager and the alliance of Paradis and Marley? What happened now and where are they?
There were so many questions popping in your head as you forced yourself to check out the land near Fort Salta, finding some of your troops pointing all of their guns to the Eldians that somehow — turned back into a human.
That was the only thing you needed before you ran to where they were, ignoring the pain that surged your body for every movement that you made. You were fine, this couldn’t stop you from knowing the truth, this would never stop you from reaching out to the Eldian, to someone that introduced you to what it felt like to love someone.
Surely the Marleyan was just bluffing, you knew that all of the guns were already shot towards the sky before. But there was a possibility that they had another, and you couldn’t bear to see another bloodshed, not when you felt like there was no need to continue this war if the main enemy was already gone.
“If we did still have the power of the titans, wouldn’t we be using it to resist you?” Ah, was it true? That titan power was already gone for good from this world? “But the fact that we continue to be powerless even as you point your guns at us is the greatest possible proof of our humanity.”
He made sense, even as you stopped a few steps behind the Marleyan Military, you could hear the sincerity from his words. Yet somehow, your race still couldn’t accept the fact, not daring to lower their gun just yet. You couldn’t really blame them for doing so, knowing how much terror that they have seen just for the last couple of hours.
So you stood forward, dragging your feet as you ignored the surprised gasp from your troops.
“Everyone, drop your guns to the ground.” You still couldn’t hear any movement as you said so, and you clicked your tongue over that. “Now!”
Then one by one, you heard how the metal weapon fell to the ground like a symbol of peace. There were around twenty troops behind you, the survivors of the explosion before, the only people who lived from Marleyan Military after such a horrendous event. And they obeyed your command, believing in you that you would make the right choice.
You turned to look at your troops, giving them a reassuring gaze one by one that from now on, everything would be alright. Some of them were crying, some of them fell to the ground as they screamed out, out of frustration or relief for being alive, you couldn’t differentiate it anymore, maybe a bit of both.
Your job was done, for now, so you had to know what happened. You needed to know who was the man who stood in front of you now as his ocean blue eyes gazing at you with respect and gratitude. He gave you a firm nod, and you followed after as you straightened your posture.
“Then, who are you?”
“I am Armin Arlert, an Eldian from the island of Paradis. The man who killed Eren Yeager, the attack titan.”
The way he said it was absolute. Certainty was there and somehow you wanted to just let your sore body fall to the ground as relief started to fill your heart. But not yet, you had to be the commander of the air force unit, probably the only higher-ups left in the military here.
“Greetings then, Armin Arlert.” You started, giving him a Marleyan salute as he answered it by balling his right hand into a fist, resting it right in front of his heart after that. “I am the commander of the air force unit of Marleyan Military, my troops and I would do anything we could do to assist everyone here.”
For the next few hours, everyone who was healthy enough was assigned to take care of those who had injuries or any other casualties. You as the commander, trying to call and inform the military base in the capital. Solace flooded over you once again when you received the news that more than a half part of Marley was still intact.
You immediately called for backup, informing them to tell the whole world what happened in Fort Salta. This needed to be distributed now, that they didn’t have to worry anymore, that the world was finally free from titans. You told them all the little details about those who fought in the battle, you told them that it was thanks to the Eldians themselves that the rumbling stopped.
“It’s…” You trailed off as the chief on the other line asked you the name of the war that shook the world just now. “It’s the battle of heaven and earth.”
Today marked the three years of the world’s victory against titans. Eldians finally freed from the curse and lived a normal life like humanity in the rest of the world. Though, of course, doubt and fear still lingered in the heart of the people. That was why those soldiers who directly fought with the attack titan became the ambassador of peace, travelling around the world to tell their stories.
They were the ones who lived, the heroes who chose to fight humanity who always treated their race like an insect. They were those who chose humanity over their own life, the ones who cast their feelings aside and killed their best friend because that was the right thing to do.
And your lover was one of them, he was an Eldian, a soldier who was ready to sacrifice his life in war.
Jean Kirstein, the man that you met in a bar back then in Marley, the only person who could make you feel so bare as he painted you with affection.
The person who you would wait a thousand years if you had to, so long so you could be together.
You subconsciously touched your left fingers, tracing your coarse skin as you absentmindedly remembered the reunion that you had with him. Not the one where he shouted at you to stay back, not the one where it filled with painful tears as you saw him transformed into a titan in front of your eyes.
But it was the one that made you feel so full. After calling the capital and making sure the Eldian would be treated fairly, you finally could take a breather and sit just outside the tower in Fort Salta. The sun slowly turned into an orange hue that time, your body was all aching as the adrenaline from before started to wear off.
You didn’t turn your face away from the horizon as you felt someone sat beside you on the ground, not saying anything for the next couple of minutes as you and the mysterious figure just basked yourself on the peaceful atmosphere, something that was never there with how war and violence always filled the ground.
The orange hue slowly reddened as the sun hid behind the mountain, letting the moon take over with thousands of stars adorned the night sky.
There were no words being spoken as two bodies decided to scoot closer to each other as if there were strings that bound them together. You dropped your head on his shoulder, letting out a long sigh as the realisation finally sank in.
“I am back, (Y/n).” His voice was still filled with disbelief. “Just like what I promised you.” But it sounds the same as how it used to, lingering with something that you knew as love.
You lifted your head a little, wanting to take a look at him and scrutinizing his face. He was here, Jean Kirstein in a flesh. He was not a titan anymore, he was just an Eldian from the island of Paradis, a normal human, just like you.
There was a dingling sound as he fetched something from his pocket, your eyes never left his as you felt a warm metal slipped on your palm. He closed your hand after that, wanting you to know that he was real, that he finally could give back the silver key that he brought with him ever since in Marley.
You felt like you wanted to burst at the moment. You wanted to cry, screaming at him for fighting the attack titan despite being a mere soldier who didn’t even inherit the nine titans, you wanted to ask how he felt right now and what actually happened, there was so much that you wanted to say, so many words that you wanted to tell him.
But there would be a time for that, you were certain that you would have a lot of time after all of these were done.
So you just curled your lips into a smile, orbs glistening with tears as it shone with adoration, palm gripping the key a little tighter with his hand on top of yours.
“Welcome back, Jean.”
You patted the excess of the dirt in your hand on your black apron, finally done repotting some of the plants. When your eyes fleeted to the side, you tilted your head in confusion as the bird from before was still there, so loyal as it accompanied you for the last hour.
This one was different compared to the others. The birds that you saw before only had one solid colour, but this one that stayed with you had brown feathers on some of their features.
The bird just looked at you with wonder, tilting their head to the side as they jumped from the flower bed and landed beside you. Your lips immediately shaped into a smile, wondering why the bird decided to stay with you when the others left already.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
You cooed at the bird, careful not to move your body too abruptly, afraid that they would fly again. Of course, you didn’t expect them to chirp, but maybe you could talk to them a little. And you could write it down in the letter that you sent for Jean later on.
“I don’t know why you are here, but don’t you think you should go back though?”
Those beady black orbs fell upon your face as if they understood your words. “You must have a family, right? Perhaps maybe a lover?” So you decided to keep on talking, throwing some random questions, conversing with them like an old friend. “Bet your lover is so beautiful like you, and they must be waiting for you, you know?”
“Like you wait for me?”
Silence. On the first second, the bird was in front of you. But now, they flapped their wings and flew, leaving you there with both pupils widened as a familiar voice rang through your ear. You didn’t understand why they suddenly left, but maybe, maybe it was because of the fact that you were not alone anymore.
That maybe because they knew your lover came back.
And so they would do the same and flew to where their lover was.
“Jean?”
No, he was not supposed to be here. From the letters that you got last week, he was supposed to be in Marley right now with the others. He told you that through the words that he scribbled down on the old paper, and you remembered how he would come back next month.
But of course, your eyes wouldn’t deceive you, of course, your ear could never catch the exact voice that belonged to him if he was not really here.
He stood around five feet apart from you with a cheeky smile that made you want to just slap it away from his beautiful face. His ash-brown locks slightly got longer, looking neat despite the wind that swayed some strands of his hair, and you wondered how many times he combed his hair to make it look like that.
Though you didn’t care about it, you didn’t care about how he was here right now when you were certain he should have been somewhere else. You didn’t care that you stumbled on some of the gardening tools as you ran towards him. You didn’t care if your apron could leave some dirt on his expensive suit.
What you cared right now as your feet brought you closer to him — was to feel his embrace once more.
You jumped right into his arms, chin resting on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his neck, not wanting to let go. Right now, you just wanted to shout and announce to the world that you wanted him for yourself, at least for just a few minutes, at least for a moment.
Everyone could call you selfish at this point you didn’t care anymore. For all your life you never wanted anything but a world without fear. And now as you achieved it, the only matter that could complete it was to spend it all with the one that somehow had half of your heart anywhere he goes.
You have waited for him for far too long. You always waited for him afraid that he wouldn’t come back to your apartment, you always waited for him with distress lingering at the back of your mind that he was not alive anymore when he was there on the other side of the sea.
But now as you felt the warmth within his touch, now as you felt his smile as his lips planted on the side of your face, you finally knew how it feels to live in a world without fear since from now on, you were free to love him.
He was too — free to love you as his real self, an Eldian, a war hero, Jean Kirstein from the island of Paradis.
“I am home.”
And as the two bodies basked in the warmth of a loved one, hand intertwined that clashed a silver metal band next to each other, they both knew that from now on — they were going to wake up every single morning and live their dream.
In a world where there was no fear, spending it in prime real estate with a significant other.
Earning the right to live a happy life for hopefully, a long time.
↪content; warrior!reader, aged-up character, graphic description of violence, slow burn, season 4 spoiler
Tiny footsteps belonging to you echoed throughout the empty hallway. Your forehead scrunched as a bead of sweat trailed down your skin, but you dismissed the discomfort as you needed to find your father, wanting some explanation.
It was around four in the afternoon, and you were certain that your father must be occupying himself inside his study, probably enjoying his coffee as he read some reports regarding the military advance. You always wondered why he got all of that information even though he was not even in the military, but perhaps the book in your hand was the answer to your question, and you had to find out more.
You were used to running around this part of the mansion — since you would spend some of your time here with your father when he didn’t invite the military higher-ups or some of his business partners for a meeting together. Truthfully, you could have waited for later after dinner to confront him, but your mind was already fueled with curiosity that wouldn’t die without being given the right extinguisher.
So you scurry out within an instant, far from the east wing where the library was located to the west where your father would entertain his friends and colleagues. In your small journey, you took off your mules and ran barefoot, ignoring the gasp from the maid that you passed in the hallway.
Panting, you felt the exhaustion course through your body as you finally reached your destination. Some eyes regarded you with worry beneath their intimidating gaze, but they knew that you had been running out of breath before, certain that it was nothing serious.
Two guards were standing tall on each side of the door, guarding your father’s study against the outside, and you were certain there were another two on the other side of the door. They didn’t give you any attention or warning, so you knew that he was not in some kind of meeting or too engrossed with work.
Sucking a deep breath, you hide the book that you found behind your back before raising your hand to the wooden door, knocking it with your knuckles several times, soft yet enough that it would echo inside the room. You heard the rustling of papers, probably from some of the military letters that he read.
“Name and busi—”
“It’s me, pa!”
Your voice cut him off in a gleeful manner, holding yourself from bursting hundreds of questions. If you wanted to know the truth, you needed to play your cards right. Well, what could a six years old girl do? Anything of course, especially if you were the only child (for now) and your parents loved you like you were their stars in the night sky.
You tried to hide your smirk when you heard the audible ‘click’ coming from the inside, followed by the door opening simultaneously. The sun penetrated through the windows, lighting up the whole room and the hallway behind you. A pleasant smell of cedarwood filled your nostrils in an instant, the unique scent that you knew embedded on your father’s suit too since he spent the majority of his time here.
There was a massive round table in the middle of the room, one where you like to sit when your father was busy with work but wanted your company. You would sit there without a care and boredom since your nose mostly touched the paper book in your hand, too engrossed with whatever literature that you could find within his study.
You didn’t need to go back and forth from the east wing and grabbed some books there. Your father studies already engaging enough with a wide variety of history, self-improvement, and many other philosophy books. The room would be engulfed with silence if that happened, but the atmosphere was serene and comforting to both of you, making times fly past naturally and just felt right.
“Well, isn’t it my precious daughter?” He stood up from his plush leather chair, dark yet warm eyes never left your figure as you skipped toward where he was. His lips shaped into a gentle smile as he watched how giddy you looked right now, with both hands on your back as if you had a surprise for him.
It was indeed a surprise, but whether he liked it or not was another story.
“Pa, I need to speak with you!” Your bubbly personality was always so endearing. You were witty, smart, wise — his little rascal but still had a personality like a noble lady when needed.
“And what do you want to talk to me about, my little star?” He walked closer before kneeling in front of you, levelling his eyes with yours. “Something serious? Something playful? Or maybe you just want to talk to me since you missed your pa so much?” His smile turned into a little smirk, raising one of his eyebrows in a teasing manner.
You jutted your lips at his question as your hands clench tighter on the brown books that you found before. Your father waited for any kind of explanation, but you didn’t open up your mouth, not even a little. But you suddenly averted your gaze away, pupils shifting back and forth.
He blinked, trying to understand what it was that you wanted. Your father then looked past you, finding the guards inside the room. It left a question inside his mind at the moment, because you never once needed to talk alone as you always threw questions at him without caring if anybody heard.
This would be the first time, and he decided to indulge you with it.
“Guards, you can wait outside.”
“Sir, with all due respect—”
“Please.”
The two guards looked at each other before giving your father a salute, answered with a firm nod from him. You stood still with your eyes closed as you waited until the sound of footsteps started to fade, not realizing the scrutinizing look that he threw at you. The second you heard a gentle thud echoed in the room, you let out a breath that you subconsciously held.
You were alone now, with your father waiting for any syllables to come out from your lips. A few seconds ago you were so eager, ready to burst out all of the questions that popped inside your mind. But now, as he gazed at you with a look that you couldn’t fathom, you started to rethink your decision.
Would he mad at you for reading the book that he strictly said was forbidden to read? He always kept it inside a glass compartment, telling you that it was filled with a history of mankind. The truth that someday he would tell you. So would he be angry if you knew it now instead of later?
“You read the journal, my star?” You subconsciously dropped the book as you never thought he could see through you like that. Your hands were shaking behind your back before you tightly grip your bow’s dress, fearing that he would not let you walk inside the library ever again.
Seeing the distress in your eyes, he immediately rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently as if to make sure that you didn’t have to be afraid. That whatever you did, you always became his little star, the daughter that he loved so much. “It’s alright, sooner or later I will tell you all of it.”
His voice was calm as he picked up the book from behind you, opening it right in front of your face as he checked that in case some pages were wrinkled. You still kept your mouth shut, waiting for him to say something more — because for sure his words before were still not enough to calm yourself.
When he looked at you again, you were averting his gaze and decided to look down. So he closed the book and reached out for you, holding your much smaller hand as he brought you toward his desk. The silence was deafening as he didn’t say anything afterwards, making you have to focus on the footsteps to dwindle your concern.
His hand was warm as it engulfed yours, squeezing it softly here and there as he plopped himself to his chair. With how light you were, he picked you up and tucked you gently on his lap, wanting to make sure that you were comfortable since it would take some time to explain everything to you.
“Now, can you tell me what you already know so far?”
It was now that you finally dared to look up, curious about the expression on his face. You should have known that your father wouldn’t be angry at you, he couldn’t, at least not towards you. His face didn’t even show any sign of resentment, he just sat there, looking down, and waited until you were ready to talk.
“Almost everything, I guess.” You finally dared to speak up, yet it still sounded so timid. “That King Fritz was not our enemy, it was thanks to him that the war is over.” Continuing your words, you swallowed a huge lump. “And those people on the island, they are not demons, but they are exactly like—”
“Us.”
He finished your word without pause, knowing what you were going to say next like he always did. Your forehead scrunched at this, lips turned into a scowl as you tried to understand the world that you live in right now. All the war, the hatred that Eldians received inside the internment zone, if only this true story was out in the public then they wouldn’t get treated like that, right?
“B-But why do we hide this information, then?” You croaked out, not believing that your family concealed such truth. “If people knew that King Fritz was the one who wanted peace, if only the whole world knew that Eldians did not want anything but to live like a normal human, they were not going to be treated like this, pa!”
You were begging right now, needing some answer that could justify the choice they made. It felt awful, like someone had put a blindfold on you all your life, whispering to you that the world filled with hatred and that because of your ancestors, because of the blood that flows inside your veins and there was nothing else that you could do except living through the brutal knowledge.
But it was all a lie, because your family could have made a change in this world yet didn’t do anything about it.
Your father just sat there, listening to your cries and complaints. He knew from the start that you were someone that would do anything for Eldians to be free, he often saw you sneaking around and talked to the maids, after all, questioning about how their children were at home and many other mundane things.
He didn’t have the courage to tell you, the reason why he kept the information to himself when he was warned by the current inheritor. He didn’t have the courage to tell you what lies across the sea, what slept inside the walls that the king had made. As your father, he didn’t want his six years old innocent daughter to know that the fate of the world was in their hands — the Eldian.
His lips turned into a frown as he realized. No matter how much he wanted to protect you from this cruel world, no matter how much he just wanted you to live and be happy without a burden on your shoulder, he couldn’t grant his wish.
Because soon, you would be the one in the family who held the biggest responsibility.
“You would know soon enough, my little star.” He gulped down, dark orbs gazing at your face as he was so tormented from this fact only. Your beady eyes shone under the orange hue that slipped through the large windows, making you look even more innocent, an angel to him and his wife as he cradled you like this on his lap.
Soon, and he needed to start telling you now how much weight you would carry throughout your life. “Once you inherit the war hammer titan.”
“Wake up!”
You sat up straight as you tried to inhale the air bit by bit, feeling like your dreams that you had just stolen the oxygen out of your lungs. No, it was not a dream, it was a memory that you had with your father. The day when you knew the truth, the day when you knew your responsibility and how you needed to keep a blind eye over it.
And for sure, hiding the fact from everyone was the hardest part. Especially when you had these people you called friends as you invaded the island of Paradis with the mission to take back the founding titan. You wanted to tell them the danger, or how the people inside the wall were not as different from those in Liberio.
But you had made a vow to your father to keep your lips sealed, no matter how much you wanted to share it. And you were not going to break that promise, not when you knew there was a high possibility that you wouldn’t make it back alive.
“I am sorry, I should have been more gentle.” Your gaze still cast down your lap, wanting to control your emotion first before interacting with the other warrior. “Nightmare?” But his gentle, mature voice was so endearing you couldn’t help but lookup.
His forehead scrunched in worry as you realized that he squatted down right in front of you. Large hazel eyes scrutinizing your every movement, and you felt so bare with how he seemed like he could see right through you.
“I am fine, Marcel.” You answered him a matter of factly, not wanting to prolong the constant worry that he had for his fellow warriors. “Sorry, I will clean up the firepit and be ready in a minute.”
“Oh, no need. I mean— you don’t need to.” He stood up, reaching out his hand for you, and you took it despite the confusion that was written all over your face. “I already cleaned it up, so you just have to grab your bag and we will be ready to continue our journey.”
“Marcel!” You exclaimed, stomping your feet to the ground subconsciously as your eyes drilled on his skull. “It was supposed to be my turn!” And your outburst of course caught the others’ attention. “You always do something like this, making sure that everyone could leisure around while you did all the work.”
“(Y/n), I am sure that he—” The glare in your eyes now fell to another victim, the colossal titan inheritor, and you could see him flinch from just being the recipient of your glare. “N-Nevermind, I will just, uhm, check on Reiner if he is okay.”
And just like that, he scurried off to find his friend, not wanting to interrupt your little tantrum that he was sure would subside soon.
Bertolt knew you, you were always a little cranky when you woke up, at least that was what he could see by the past three days as he woke up with you not far from him. You needed at least a minute just opening your eyes without doing anything, and after that, you were good to go. So he understood why you seemed so extra for what Marcel did right now.
You continued to scold the older boy who just stood there scratching his nape bashfully and apologizing for what he did. He didn’t do anything wrong, but you just disliked the idea that someone did something that was supposed to be your job. Though you always said thank you before taking your leave.
Feeling that you had enough with boys, you walked to Annie who was currently nibbling at some sweets that you gave her before at the boat that brought the companion here. She seemed to see your little quarrel but decided to keep silent, waiting for Marcel to lead the way when he was done fanning his reddened cheek.
Three days had passed after Marley dropped you off to this cursed land. Everyone had so much expectation for this generation, and the fact that a Tybur took part in the mission brought so much hope to the Eldians in your homeland.
Your father was right about the burden that you were going to have. All the expectations set the bar so high for you. So for that, he prepared you to be a reliable and strong individual. Ever since the revelation, he pointed a lot of private instructors to teach you all the basic things about self-defence, archery, firearms, and swordsmanship skills.
You were shaped to be the Eldian’s saviour in Marley, ever since you were six. And you would make sure that all your knowledge and experiences would be put to good use.
Marcel told you about the plan, and for now, they all would rely on Bertolt and Reiner’s titan since it was the most destructive and save the rest for later days. When he first told you about the plan, the two of you were alone, he liked to discuss strategy first with you because your mind was the most mature of all of them.
And all the time he told you about it, your mind always thought that it was so wrong for him to ask for your advice. You wanted to tell him not to destroy the whole outer wall, just one district was enough and everyone could sneak in already. But you knew the chances to get in were lower if there was not enough damage.
So reluctantly, you agreed. You told him that he was brilliant, telling him that it would work for the warriors. And after that, everyone would enrol in the military cadet corps, some would graduate to be a survey corps, while the others joined the military police regiment. It would need a few years to get by, but it would be the safest and optimal route.
Just a few years here and you could come back home, reading books and annoying your father even more. Though you were sure that your mother would scold you for spending too much time with him, she would want you to go horseback riding with her while telling some stories about the family.
Yes, everything would be just like before, and you couldn’t wait for it.
Your eyes fleeting toward the brunette who walked in front of you, his hair swept to the back, reminding you of his brother that was the complete opposite of him in terms of personality. Marcel was gentle, compassionate, reliable, all the things that you would expect from an elder sibling. Meanwhile, Porco was aggressive, emotional, and somewhat a little rude when he talked.
And the big difference between Porco and Marcel that you knew, was the fact that the younger brother despised you. The blonde often threw shades and mockery, telling you that you were not like them, how you were a spoiled kid, and could never understand what Eldian really feels with all the privilege that you had due to your last name.
But that didn’t stop you from wanting to befriend him. You could see through his harsh facade, he was actually gentle inside and cared deeply for all the warrior candidates. He even let his guard down that day when they knew Reiner would be the armoured titan inheritor instead of him, letting you sit beside him outside the headquarters as he let out a sob.
He wept silently when you put your hand on his back, comforting him through the single touch. That was the only push he needed before breaking down in front of you, cursing himself for not being a better candidate, that it was his fault for being too confident in his skill and not trying harder to get the military’s attention.
Oh, if only he knew. If only he knew the real reason why he was not here.
It felt like it happened such a long time ago despite knowing a month just passed ever since. You wondered what the other warrior did right now, more accurately, what was he doing right now. Maybe he had lunch with his family, or perhaps beating himself to the pulp and kept on training until he couldn’t stand anymore.
Knowing that was enough to make you frown since you really cared for him, and to think that he blamed himself for his failure broke your heart even more. Every time you walked, there was an extra weight on your chest as an ivory shark tooth pendant grazing your skin, reminding you of your days in Marley once again.
Especially the day when you received the necklace, something you never took off ever since.
And now as you walked right behind Marcel, you could only imagine that the brown strands were blonde instead. But you shook your head after that, knowing for certain he would have a longer lifespan, that he wouldn’t have to carry so much burden like the rest of you. He could enjoy his life, and that was what caused Marcel to put Reiner on the pedestals instead of him.
You didn’t remember since when you were getting left behind. Of course you could still see the fellow warriors in front of you, but they were a few meters ahead from where you were. It happened a lot, so you didn’t really complain since they knew sometimes you would need alone time.
It was not like there were titans around anyway, the Marleyan Military had assured you that the titans would only be there near the outer wall. So everyone should be saved since it was still halfway through the journey, no one needed to worry and be too on guard for now.
At least that was what you believed until you saw a large shadow looming from behind you.
The silence was deafening when you felt the air sucked out from the space around you, leaving you to stand there alone as you slowly lost the ability to breathe. Fear, that was what you felt right now as your mind could only conclude one thing — there was a titan, right behind you.
No, you still needed to finish your mission. You had promised your father that you would come back to him, you had promised your mother that you would come back home intact, even if it needed you a few years to grant that, as long as you could see them again, it was alright.
As long as you could come back and see him happy and living a beautiful life even when your term was going to end, it would be fine.
But you were glued to the ground, your muscles tensed and you couldn’t move your limbs to run, or just to evade that gigantic hand which now ready to crush your small body with its hand. Yet despite all that, you felt a strong push coming from your side, pushing you out of the way and snapped you back to reality.
You saw Marcel, his dark brown hair dishevelled as now his torso engulfed in the hand of a titan. He looked distressed, panicked, and he flailed his body around as he tried with all his might to survive, despite an impeccable fate that he already knew deep inside his heart.
No one knew where it came from, one second they were chatting, and the next as Marcel saw a titan running toward you, his feet moved on their own with one goal to reach for you. You couldn’t see it, you just gave him an empty look as you were just deep in thought a moment before.
He knew that you would be too shocked to understand what happened, he knew that you couldn’t move away when you turned to see what was standing behind you. And there was something inside his soul that boosted him to run faster, pushing you away as he decided to replace you.
“Come on, let’s go!”
He heard Reiner shouting at you who was still sitting on the grass, eyes focused on him as you tried to wrap your head around you. There were tears in your orbs when Bertolt and Reiner pulled you away forcefully, your legs even wobbled, and that was when the ravenette decided to hoist you up over his shoulder.
Marcel heard the shout, the pleading in your voice as you called out his name. The others were running to safety, but he could still see you as your hand stretched out for him, not believing that you would lose him like this.
“(Y/n)!” He screamed with all his might, hoping that you could hear what he said. Wide teeth already surrounded his head, and it was a matter of time before his world turned black. So he needed to say it, he needed you to tell his brother that his job was done for now. “Tell Porco I did it!”
Then he was gone as the jaw of the titans closed with his body in between it. He died in the hand of a titan who no one knew where it came from. You should have been cautious, no matter what, this island was filled with titans and you shouldn’t have trusted whatever the Marleyan Military said. And it should have been you, not him.
Your eyes never left the scene as you saw Marcel being devoured alive, starting from his head, slowly down to his hip. The details were so vivid and you were sure it would be engraved in your mind for as long as you lived. This would be your constant nightmare, reminding you every day what a cruel world you lived in.
And you didn’t know if you were ever ready — if someday you met a circumstance when you had to face Porco, knowing that his brother died saving you.
Pairing: Actor!Eren Yeager x MakeupArtist!Reader (AOT Live Action Show AU)
Genre: I genuinely have no idea? fluff? angst? a little bit of both?
Type: headcanon/bulletpoint
A/N: This was originally supposed to be the last part, but it was getting SO LONG and there was SO MUCH that needed to happen that I’m splitting it into two. Inspired by @nihaalart ‘s actor au fan art :)
Going back to your apartment after everything was depressing to say the least
You had made good money as a makeup artist before Attack On Titan
Yk from doing makeup for weddings, SFX makeup for other projects, doing stuff on YouTube and social media and stuff
So it wasn’t that you were going back to a crappy place
But the off white walls, throw blankets, comfy couches, and picture frames that surrounded you just didn’t feel like homeanymore
It was too lonely
You wanted the energy you felt on set
The excitement and fun
The friendship and love you had shared
Love
Eren
God, what was he going to think of you?
You just left him without any explanation
You refused to answer his or anyone else’s texts
You were kinda sorta shutting down
Mikasa and Hange had been messaging you on every platform you had
Jean, Reiner, and Zeke had texted you every morning
Armin had called you at least four times and Sasha sent you video messages
Even Levi - the captain of being antisocial - had sent you a message asking where you where and how you were doing
But Eren?
Eren sent nothing
Not a single message
No call, no text
Nothing
And honestly?
That hurt more than getting fired
You’d thought that after six months of filming
Six months of talking to each other and being there for one another
That he would’ve done something - anything - to show you he was worried, that he cared about you
But no
Nothing
It killed you inside
Took your heart and twisted it until you couldn’t breathe, only releasing it to stab it over and over again
You hated this
Somuch
The pain of everything that happened consumed you to the point where you literally didn’t get out of bed for three days
It wasn’t until you literally started to get nauseous from not eating that you decided enough was enough
So you picked yourself up from the depths of despair all by yourself and started over again
You got up and showered, washing your skin free of all your feelings until it was red
You threw your clothes and bedding into the laundry machine and went to the kitchen in the first new pair of clothes you’d put on since you’d gotten back
It felt good in a way, moving forward, trying to leave the past behind
But part of you was still breaking over the fact that everything was over
How you’d probably never see the people you’d grown to care about so much again
Because they were global superstars and you were just you
You’d always had a feeling that you’d be left in the dust once this was over
That they were all just being nice because they had to see you all the time
But you couldn’t focus on that anymore
As much as it hurt, the past was the past
You had to focus on what was happening right now
What you could do to move forward
About a week after you’d been fired, you decided to finally go back to makeup
You’d cleaned up the small office space you used as your studio - washing your brushes, fixing your palettes and paints, organizing everything to set it up for how you normally did walkthroughs/tutorials
You were literally about to press record on your camera to start when you heard a knock on your door
You sighed
You really just wanted to be left alone with your makeup right now
But then you remembered the new Mehron body paints you had ordered a few weeks back and realized it was probably them so you got up anyways
You trudged to your door, hair held back by a fuzzy headband and clad in a black tank top and your most embarrassing pajama pants because no one ever saw the bottom half of your body in your videos anyways
The knocking on your door got louder and you huffed out an “I’m coming” before reaching for the handle and swinging it open
You stopped dead in your tracks
The figure in front of you was dressed head to toe in black, hood pulled up over their head and a mask covering the bottom half of their face
Honest to god you had no idea who this strange person was judging from their getup alone
But their eyes?
You’d know those eyes anywhere
You could die and be reincarnated and in another life you’d still be able to recognize them
There
In all his glory and charm
Was Eren. Freaking. Yeager
And you
Beating the amazing talented beautiful dISASTER that you are
SLAMMED THE DOOR SHUT
Because oh my god????
What was he doing here????
How did he get your address??? Why didn’t he call or text??? Why was he literally on your doorstep oh my g o d?????
But then you realize you just shut the door on a literal global celebrity who probably risked a whole lot even just getting to your place so you take a few deep breaths and open the door
You don’t look at him again, just move to the side and gesture for him to come in quickly
You close the door behind him softly as he walks into your home
A weird feeling since your home is your safe space and you hardly let anyone into it
Eren had taken off his hood and mask and was standing in front of you with his hands in his pockets awkwardly
Like he was a middle schooler giving a presentation
You cleared your throat even more awkwardly
“What, uh… what are you doing here?”
He fiddled with his hands
“I wanted to see how you were doing.”
He shifted slightly
“… and I’m also on strike.”
You blinked
He was on what now?
“Eren, what? What do you mean you’re on strike?”
He sighed and pushed a few strands of hair away from his face
“After you left, the rest of the cast and I asked around to see what happened. Nobody would tell us until Armin did a little digging.
“He found out that you had been fired and replaced with someone else - one of the assistants that Esme brought with her this season.”
You nodded
You’d figured that one of the other artists or assistants would’ve taken your job
Eren continued, “You know those stalker fans? The ones that follow us around everywhere, show up at our houses sometimes, and try to get into every fan event and stuff?”
You nodded slowly, trying to understand where he was going
He let out a mirthless laugh
“Turns out that ‘assistant’ was actually one of them. She had been watching me for months, and I guess when she saw how close we were she got jealous. She was the one who went to the director and got you fired.”
He looked at you for a second, half expecting a reaction from you
But you sat in stunned silence as you tried to process his words
Eren sighed, “At first no one would tell me anything - about what happened with you, I mean. I asked everyone but no one seemed to know. But then the assistant… she kept saying things - weird things to me. She even followed me to my trailer one night after shooting and refused to leave when I asked her to. It was making me really uncomfortable so I told Mikasa and Armin about it.
“That’s when Armin started asking around about her and found out. After the truth came out, the director tried to support his decision about firing you, but none of the cast was comfortable with it so we refused to work until you were brought back. We’ve been on strike for almost five days now and no filming has been getting done. The director told me that I had to come and ask you back in person, so I’m here.”
You blinked
“I… Eren I don’t even know what to say…”
You ran a hand over your face and motioned for him to sit down on the couch
“First of all, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine how scary it must be when fans like that are around, let alone in a position that close to you.
“Secondly, I appreciate all of you doing that for me, I really really do. More than you know. But it isn’t fair to ask you to do that.”
Eren opened his mouth to say something but you put a hand up
“You’ve all worked so hard to get to where you are, you shouldn’t throw it away for someone who is easily replaceable. I can’t ask to make my problem yours.”
Eren sat for a moment before taking your hands in his
His touch was so gentle, thumb caressing the back of your hand softly as if you were made from fine porcelain that would break if held too roughly
“That’s the thing, (Y/N), you aren’t replaceable. You’re what brings life to set every day, the reason so many of us are so happy this season even though we’re all exhausted. You make it a better place and us better people. So you aren’t asking us to do anything. When it comes to you, your problems become our problems too.”
He paused
“… they become minetoo.”
The tentative tone in his voice made you meet his gaze
Those beautiful eyes that were so vibrant you couldn’t believe they were real
You swallowed
“Why?”
His lips turned up softly in a smile and his voice was no more than a whisper when he spoke next
warnings: facefucking, heavy degradation, cockslapping, mean!eren but he’s soft at the end
word count: 0.5k
anon: Eren with pent up anger and frustration takes it out on his babie because his baby suggested to use her body because she doesn’t like it when her master is frowning, looking so angry idk if it’s good + how are we feeling about degradation kink ereh??????
“it’s okay, eren.” eren blinks at you as you sink to your knees, your eyes wide as you bat your lashes delicately. “you can use me. i want to make you feel better.” he can feel the blood rushing to his cock as he stares at you with your tongue hanging out, drool spilling down your chin messily and with the hot rage flooding through his veins, he growls as he tugs down his sweatpants, one hand circling around his hardening cock and pumping it faster whilst the other threads through your hair.
“messy bitch drooling all over yourself just because you want my cock so bad.” he grunts, fingers tightening around your hair to elicit a little squeal from you. tears glimmer in your eyes already, making him scoff as he taps the flushed cockhead against your wet tongue. “you’re such a slut. a greedy cockslut.”
your eyes soften momentarily but then you’re gagging as eren shoves his cock into your mouth, his thick length weighing down heavy on your tongue and the outline bulging lewdly in your cheek. your hands grip his thighs as he shoves it deep towards the back of your mouth, cockhead slamming against the back of your throat to make you gag as he groans, head falling back. the vein in his temple throbs as he begins to fuck your face, long strands of hair falling into his dampened, flushed face as his hips buck against your face, balls slapping against your chin. drool spills down your open mouth as you’re held in place, your moans shooting right through his cock as he grunts with every sharp thrust.
“fucking take it. this is what you’re good for- letting me use that slutty mouth of yours like it’s a fucking cunt.” eren moans as his cock slams against the back of your throat with a bruising pace. he growls when your nails pierce too deep into the skin of his thighs, his hand rough when he pulls you off his cock, saliva smeared across your face with your cheeks stained with tears. “fuck- you look like such a mess, like a right filthy cockslut.” you’re gasping for air as he slaps his wet dick against your cheek before he pumps it fast, groaning with pleasure as he forces your mouth open, pinching your drooling tongue as he tugs it out just as warm ropes of cum spurt from the red tip, coating over your tongue and chin.
“that’s it, drink my cum like a good little cumslut. what do you say?”
“thank you, eren.” your voice is hoarse as you swallow down the sticky strings of fluid, smiling as you wipe it off your chin and lick your cum-stained fingertips whilst eren pants heavily, his cock softening as he tugs his sweatpants back up.
he’s calmer and softer when he falls to his knees in front of you, brushing your hair out of your teary face before he envelopes you in his arms, rubbing his hands gently over your back as he rests a chin on your shoulder.
“i didn’t mean to be that rough- i’m sorry, baby.”
“it’s okay.” you whisper, clinging to him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “i always want to help you in any way i can. as long as you feel better.” he presses a tender kiss to your temple, lips smiling against your skin with gratitude.
warnings/content: thigh riding, dirty talk, innocent!reader, dumbification, light degradation, modern college au
word count: 0.7k
anon:eren corrupting a pretty, innocent girl <3 he adores how u get starry eyed when he whispers in ur ear ab everything he wants to do to you and how needy u get from just a few kisses. lets u ride his thigh and use his body bc he jus’ thinks u look so so pretty fuckin’ urself on his body and crying for more
the sound of music thumping sounds distant, like your head is plunged underwater as hands circle your waist, pulling you flush against a hard chest. there’s a stiffness pressing into your ass, grinding against you as your skin feels warm, heart racing and your legs pressing together to ease the throbbing deep between the legs.
“you’re so pretty, i bet you’d sound amazing moaning my name.” eren’s voice is a low deep murmur in your ear, all you can hear despite the loudness of the party, his hot breath tickling the sensitive skin of your ear as his teeth graze your lobe. he groans a little as you push up against him, breathless, before he starts to press open-mouthed kisses along your neck. warmth runs through you, your body shuddering, and you can’t help the little whine that falls from your lips as he sucks a little on the sensitive skin.
“oh, you’re so cute.” he smiles, the stubble on his chin tickling your neck as you cling to him tighter. you want more- more than just his kisses. “do you want me to show you a fun time? fuck you till you’re a drooling, fucked out, babbling mess?”
“eren.” you whimper his name as he presses some more kisses along the column of your throat, groaning into your flushed skin as he ruts his hips into your ass.
“do you feel how fucking hard you get me? you sound so pretty whimpering for me- i bet if i touched you right now you’d be soaking wet. how much do you want me?” your cheeks burn with embarrassment, a small squeal escaping as his hand slides between your legs, crawling up your skirt to press against your panties, the little wet patch so obvious.
“eren, so bad. please.” it’s a shy little whisper and he chuckles, chest vibrating against your back as he sucks the lobe of your ear.
“aw, you’re so wet and i’ve not even done anything yet. come on.”
your cunt throbs as he pulls you away from the main party, guiding you up the stairs of the house of whoever’s party it was, eren’s eyes sparkling as he pushes open a door into an empty bedroom. he grins as he sits at the end of the bed, pulling you onto his thigh as his hands grasp your hips.
“eren.” you can only whine as he kisses along your jaw, fingers unbuttoning your shirt as you can’t resist the urge to grind your hips along his thigh. he’s muscular, leg tensed so you can feel his muscles against your cunt, the ripples in his jeans and the layers of fabric in between only offering friction as you can feel your panties dampen. “please.”
“please what?” he smirks and he laughs when your bottom lip trembles. your cunt’s practically aching, drooling all over your panties as you rut faster, whining as the friction offers a semblance of pleasure. “i can’t do anything unless you tell me. do you want my fingers maybe? my tongue? my cock buried inside your little pussy?” you gasp at his lewd words, but you’re too desperate, whining as you begin to bounce on his leg faster, making him groan as he slips off your shirt, hands groping your chest.
“god, you look so pretty humping my thigh like that- you look so needy right now.” eren growls, edging his face close to yours. he presses his lips against yours messily, teeth nibbling on your swollen bottom lip and you mewl when he pulls away, biting your lip between his teeth. “you look so cute and innocent- i bet you’ve never even taken cock before, huh?” he bounces his leg to make you gasp, your walls clenching around nothing as you cling to his shoulders, rutting against his leg with the fabric rubbing against your damp folds and swollen clit, the pleasure warm as it runs through you. but it’s not enough, making your cheeks burn as your eyes fall to his hardened cock pressing against the tight restrains of his pants.
“please, eren.” your voice is shy and meek through your breathy sighs as you nestle your face into the crook of his neck, his long strands of hair tickling your face. “i want you to touch me. i want you to- to fuck me. with your cock. please.”
he groans at your words, cupping your face with his thumb stroking along your wet, swollen lip before he dips it between them, fingertip weighing down on your drooling tongue.
“that wasn’t so hard now, was it, babe? but not yet- i want to see you hump my thigh like a horny bitch in heat before i fuck you so good on my cock.”
- thinks you look so desperate bouncing up and down on the silicone cock suctioned to the ground. But she wants you to work for your orgasm so even as your whine and beg her, your head nuzzling on her, she won’t pleasure you herself.
All she’ll do is help you pump yourself up and down the toy. Her hands planted firmly on your ass as she lifts your hips up, working you up towards your orgasm. And as you cum she’ll lift your head, your cheeks wet w your exhausted tears, and she gives you the sweetest kiss ever.
My literal notes on this idea from a month ago: Eren is your drug dealer and he likes you secretly and sends you money for your nails when you ask and it’s hot asf
“You’re seriously going to meet this guy in an alley outside a bar at midnight? Is this some top secret agent Cody Banks shit?”
You rolled your eyes at your friends questions as you pulled your dress over your head, careful to not smudge any makeup.
“Yes. I am going to meet him there. He’s my brothers/sisters dealer. I’m not too worried about it. Besides, you’ll be there with me.”
Your friends eyes widened as she waved her hands frantically in the air.
“Oh no no miss ma’am. This is all you. I’ll be your get away driver but I am not about to die in an ally at midnight for some good kush. Why can’t you just buy it at a licensed seller like most of us do?”
“Because,” you started, sliding your feet into your heals, “(siblings name) said this guy has the best shit known around here. I just want to see for myself.”
“Whatever you say. You look hot by the way. Maybe you’ll get it for free.” She said with a wink, handing you your purse to match your heels.
“Maybe I’ll throw on some charm then. Is this dress cleavagey enough?”
Your friend stood back, looking you up and down before nodding.
“Oh yes. If he doesn’t fuck you and give you free weed, I’m sure someone will.”
**********
The neon lights from the bar reflected off the puddles of water left in the street. The sidewalk traffic had dwindled down as you made your way outside the bar, checking left and right for passerby’s.
Checking your phone you noted the time.
11:58 P.M.
Your chin began to vibrate as the cool wind of the night cut right through you, making you shove your hands in your jacket pockets to pull it tight around you.
You shook your nerves away as you forced your feet towards the alleyway beside the building. It was a small walkway between the bar and the apartment complex next door, but you thanked whoever was listening for it being relatively clean.
A flicking sound made your head snap up, eyes catching the glimpse of a small flame a few yards ahead.
You slowed your pace, eyes never leaving the man that leaned against the brick wall, one leg propped against it as his hands cupped the lighter in his hand as he lit a joint that was nestled between his lips.
He didn’t look up as you stopped beside him. He took a long drawl, puffing out smoke into the air that soon filled your nose with the familiar smell.
“H-hello.” You said once you gathered the courage to speak. He was intimidating. A very large, and handsome I might add, man with his hair in a bun. His leather jacket was slightly worn and the dark circles under his green eyes seemed to deepen as he cut his eyes at you.
“Hello.” His voice was deep. Gravely. Something that any normal person would want to run away from if they heard it.
But it drew you in further, making you take another step forward, closing the gap a bit more.
“I think you have something for me.”
His left eyebrow raised at your statement. He dropped his leg down from the wall, turning to fully face you as he looked you up and down.
“There is no way you’re (siblings name)’s sister.”
It was your turn to pop your eyebrow up in question. You crossed your arms across your chest as you cocked your head to the side.
“And why do you think that?”
You didn’t miss the smirk that tugged at his lips as he eyed you up again. He took another puff if the joint as he bent down close to your face.
You felt your stomach turn at the man’s actions. You choked as you tried to swallow the nerves that were beginning to build back up again. How’s green eyes that bored into you didn’t make it any easier.
The next thing you know, smoke was blown into your face making you cough. You rubbed at the corners of your eyes to alleviate the burning.
“No reason. No reason at all. Here.”
You caught the small bag that he tossed at you with ease. Examining the contents, you furrowed your eye brows at him.
“This is more than a gram.”
“I know.” He said with a shrug. “It’s your first time. I always give a bit more than needed for the first time in everything I do.” His wink made your chest heat up, noting what was probably an innuendo.
You thanked him, shaking off his smirk as you reached for your wallet.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Just tell your brother/sister that they owe me.”
And with that, he walked off. You stood there, mouth opening and closing like a fish as you replayed what just happened.
You knew this guys stuff was good, so why would he give it to you for free? Especially when you were doing to pay him full price.
Pulling your phone out, you dialed your siblings number as you walked back to the bar entrance.
“Yo.” They said as they answered your call.
“Hey. Your guy is weird.”
“Who? Eren?”
“Yeah.”
They chuckled, making you roll your eyes.
“What makes you think that?”
“He just gave me more than what we agreed on. And he didn’t want me to pay him.”
Silence fell over the both of you making you wonder if they were still there.
“You ther-“
“He gave it to you for free?”
You nodded as if they could see you. You hummed in reply, stopping your walk as you stood at the front window to the bar, peeking in to wave at your friend.
“Yep.”
A sigh was heard from the other end.
“I guess I’ll be paying that off….or you will.”
“Me?”
Your brother/sister hummed to answer your question.
“Yep. Eren is like that. But I’ll see if I can just pay it off for ya. No worries.”
“Thanks bestie.”
“No problemo kiddo. Talk to ya later.”
You hung up as your friend exited the bar, shaking their coat on as you smiled at them.
“Well, nice time?”
“Mhm. Very.”
*************
Unknown: so, did you like it?
Your eyebrows furrowed at the text that glowed on your phone screen.
You: Huh
Your phone dinged not even a second later with another text from the number.
Unknown: you know exactly what I’m talking about, Y/N. Don’t play coy.
You: Eren?
Unknown: Who else?
You rolled your eyes, taking a drag from your blunt as you opened your camera. You snapped a picture as you blew out the smoke, hooded eyes making contact with the lens. You attached the picture, sending it with your text.
You: not too bad
Eren: that’s it?
You roll your eyes, wanting to enjoy your smoke in peace. Does he want you to compliment his stuff so bad?
You: fine. It’s great. Best smoke I’ve ever had.
A minute passed before his next text. You jump up to answer, a smile creeping up your face along with your blush.
Eren: good girl. 
You turn your phone off, throwing your head back in your pillow as you put your blunt down in your tray, watching the cherry red end get snuffed out.
Your thoughts turn to the man responsible for your amazing high as your eyes grew heavy.
You bet your money his hair looks even better down. And you bet he looks good shirtless. He’s so tall and handsome….and he let you feel this good for free? What else would he do for you….
************
“Erennnnnn”
It had been about four months since your first meeting with Eren and you had come to him every other week for more of his product.
Eventually, you began to pay, no longer wanting your sibling to be responsible for paying up. Eren didn’t mind waiting though. He got his money, and he got to see you. That’s all that mattered.
Your meetings became longer every time you met. He allowed you to come to his apartment for pick up now, not wanting to “risk making you sick because he’d miss seeing that pretty little face of yours” as he put it.
“You know, I’m so glad you are coming to give me even more of your money, but please stop walking right in, babe. You’re annoying.”
His comment made you roll your eyes, making it easy to brush the pet name off.
He had started calling you “babe” and “baby” recently, and it’s not that you don’t like it, hell, you love it. But, it makes it even harder for your little fantasies to stay in check.
I mean, he is a very, very gorgeous man after all.
“Mhm, you love taking my money. You love seeing me even more. Admit it.”
He crossed his arms, standing tall in front of you as he cut his eyes down at your shorter stature.
“I despise you. You’re hot, don’t get me wrong, but you’re not worth the struggle.”
You scoff as you brush past him, plopping down on the couch as you laid down.
“I’ve become your best and favorite customer. You’ll have to deal with it.”
He smirked as he came to sit on the edge of the couch beside you, leaning down as he threw an arm over the back.
His nose almost brushed yours. You didn’t miss how his eyes flicked to your lips.
“Fuck you.”
You bit your lip, fighting the urge to giggle in giddiness as you raised your leg, propping it up so it grazed his side.
“Want to?”
Eren pulled back slightly, sighing as he swallowed thickly.
He pulled himself up to stand, walking to the kitchen and disappearing behind the cabinets.
He returned moments later, a small pink bag in hand, and tossed it to you.
“There you are. Your punch card is full so you get this one free. Don’t tell (siblings name).”
“Why? What punch card?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“You know, that thing stores give out. You buy so much and fill out the punch card so you get a discount? And also, I’m about to cash in a favor from (siblings name).”
You hummed in reply, sitting up and stuffing the bag into your purse.
You stood, ready to head to work. As you thanked Eren, you made your way to the door.
Once you reached for the doorknob, a hand reached out to stop you, slowly closing the door back.
“Also,” Eren’s deep voice said as he gazed down at you, “you were right.”
Your eyes flickered to the way he kicked his lips.
“About?”
He smirked, leaning his head against the wall behind him.
“You are my favorite little customer. My cutest one, too.”
You couldn’t fight the smirk that tugged at your lips as you eyed him.
“Tell me, do you give all of your customers their own little “punch card”?”
Eren shook his head, eyebrows lifted as he smiled.
“Nope. Only the good girls.” He leaned forward a bit, stooping down to meet you eye to eye. “And so far, you’re my best girl.”
This tone had shifted into a whisper. His hooded eyes beamed into yours making your knees feel weak.
Why does Eren fucking Yeager have to be so damn attractive?
You cleared your throat, adjusting your posture.
“As I should be. Like it or not, I have you wrapped around my finger, Yeager.”
The man scoffed, head tilting back as he shook it in disagreement.
“You wished, sweetheart.”
You hummed in reply, knowing that if you just asked, he’d give you what you wanted. Anything you wanted.
“We’ll see. See you later, Yeager. Don’t miss me too much.”
“Mm, what a hard job that’ll be.”
**************
“I personally like the gel better than acrylics. They have more shine to the- are you even listening to me?”
You were indeed not listening to your friend.
You were currently staring at your bare bank account on your phone, wondering how you allowed it to get so low.
You heard your friend take a sharp intake of breath next to you, pulling you out of your quiet panic.
“Oh, girl. What happened?”
You shook your head quickly, eyes darting around to the listed prices on the nail salon wall.
“I-I don’t know. I did have an extra car payment this month, but I thought I surely had enough to cover it and nails.”
Your friends eyes knitted together in concern as she threw an arm over your shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll cover you this time. It’ll be payback for the coffee you bought us last week—”
“No, I could never let you do that….but I think I have an idea…”
Her eyebrow raised in question as she watched you pull up your texts, silently opening the conversation between you and your dealer.
“Eren? Your you-know-what guy?”
You nodded, nerves beginning to eat away at your idea.
“You really think he will fork up the money for nails?”
“Well, we’ve kind of become friends, so maybe? I’ve gave him a lot of my money, so he should feel a little responsible for how low my bank account is.”
Your friend chuckled, waving you on as your fingers typed out the message.
You: Hey baby
A few seconds passed before your phone vibrated.
Eren: what do you want. What’s with the name?
You: what? I’m not allowed to call you cute things back?
Eren: not saying that at all. Glad to know I’m rubbing off on you;)
You rolled your eyes at the smirk. He seems to be in a good mood, so you prepare yourself to ask.
You: of course! Btw I have a question to ask you:)
Eren: what’s up
You cracked your knuckles, ready to risk it all.
You: could you pay for my nails pretty please
After pressing send, your eyes widened. The room began to feel hot as you felt sick to your stomach. You were prepared to get blocked, and your message had been sitting on read for too long before it dinged again.
“Oh, Jesus H. Christ.”
Your friend turned to you from her phone, leaning forward to see your nervous expression.
“What?”
“He asked how much.”
Your friends eyes widened this time. A smile took over her face as she grabbed your phone, reading through the messages.
“Y/N!! You could get whatever you wanted. Now would be the time since he’s paying!”
You shook your head, dancing your fingers over the text bar as you thought of a reply.
“No…I can’t do that to him. I’ll just get the regular.”
You: it should take maybe $50? Plus tip. That’s for what I usually get.
Eren: all right. Send me your PayPal.
You sent him your PayPal and turned to your friend.
“He’s sending me $50! I can get my nails done!”
You both cheered quietly as you were called to a chair.
As the minutes passed, you both made your way to the front to pay. You pulled out your phone to check your PayPal to see if the transaction went through.
However, you weren’t expecting to find what you saw.
Eren hadn’t sent you the $50.
No.
He sent you $250 with a note attached.
“Treat yourself with the rest, sweetheart?!”
You jumped at your friends voice that came from behind you as she read out the message Eren sent with the money.
“Geez! You scared the shit out of me!”
“If you do not fuck this man, I will gladly do it for you. What the hell?? He is wrapped around your finger!”
You felt something bubble inside of you. You had just told him you had him wrapped around your finger. He denied it, yet he just sent you $250.
Your friend grabbed your phone, accepting the payment for you and handed you your phone back.
“Well, what should we do now? You have some more money to spend.”
“No! I’m sending the rest back after I tip. I’m not taking all of that. He sent way too much.”
“You literally spend hundreds on his stuff sometimes. What’s wrong with taking a little back?”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you paid, turning to your friend in slight annoyance.
“He’s a good guy. He’s trying to make a living too. I can’t take that money from him.”
“Fineeeee. I understand. Anything else you see that you want today though, I’m buying it. No take backs.”
You smiled as you linked arms, walking out the salon door.
Once you reached your friends car, you pulled your phone out again, sending the rest of the money you didn’t use back to Eren.
Not even a minute passes by when you felt your phone vibrate with a notification.
You hit the notification, opening PayPal again as you read the message.
Payment Declined
You found the smile that pulled at the corner of your lips.
That damn Eren Yeager.
**************
Eren: I’m having a party. Come.
The text was short and to the point. No further explanation given. But, you didn’t need one. You were going.
So there you were, walking up the stairs to his apartment because the elevator was broken, in your docs praying that you make it to Eren’s floor before you break a sweat and pass out.
You rounded the corner of your last flight, coming to a stop as you saw the form standing against the railing.
“Well, hello there.”
You took a moment to catch your breath before speaking a “hello” in reply.
The man was large. Very large. Blonde hair and honey hazel eyes with scruff that accented his smirk.
“I’m Reiner. Nice to meet ya. I take it you’re here for Eren’s party?”
You nodded as you stepped up the flight of stairs, now coming face to chest with the man.
“Y/N. And yes I am.”
“Well, Y/N, how about I show you the way?”
You didn’t say you knew the way. You just followed along, not bothering to shake off his arm that wrapped around your waist.
He was cute, so why the hell not?
As you arrived to apartment 845, you could hear the sound of Lo Fi music streaming through chatter and laughing.
Turning the doorknob, you showed yourselves in, Reiner escorting you through the cloud of smoke that hung in the air.
“Hey, guys! I found us another friend.” Reiners booming voice made heads turn your direction, making everyone cheer as they welcomed you in.
“And who might you be?”
“Jean, don’t make a move on the new girl. Let her get comfortable before you try to sleep with her.”
The one you assumed was Jean protested. “Sasha, what the hell? I just wanted to ask her her name!”
“Mhm. Well, what is your name, hon?”
You smiled, reaching out to meet Sasha’s fist bump with your own.
“Y/N. Her name is Y/N.”
Everyone’s head turned along with yours. The voice came from Eren who sat in a hammock hung in the corner of the room. A joint hung between his lips as he took a puff, blowing smoke that clouded his hooded eyes that held anger as he eyed you.
“Ooooo Eren, is she your girlfriend?” A boy with short grey hair asked, wiggling his eyes at the two of you.
Eren snorted, taking the joint between two fingers as he pulled it out of his mouth so he could stand. He walked over to you, eyes glaring at Reiner as he took the joint, holding it to your lips. A hand came up to wrap around the back of your head, holding you in place as you took a drag.
“Nah,” he said, licking his lips as he pulled you away from Reiner’s arm around your waist, “she’s my best customer.”
The joint lit up cherry red as you took a drag, eyes never leaving Eren’s as the group of people cheered you on and chorused “ooo’s” and “ah’s”.
Eren smirked as he bent his neck down to look at you, watching the smoke seep through your lips. You blew the smoke out, feeling your chest flutter as he sucked the smoke in his mouth.
Reiner chuckled as he backed up. He made his way to the rug where the others sat in a group.
You pulled your gaze away from Eren, swallowing the lump in your throat. You felt your cheeks burning, head already feeling light from the deep drag.
“Okay, you two, either get a room or come join the party.”
You giggle as you go to sit by the girl named Sasha. Eren sat across from you beside the blonde boy. Introductions were quickly made as you greeted everyone.
An hour passes as everyone makes small talk and smokes, all wanting to get to know more about you.
“Okay! Enough talk. We should play a game.” Sasha said from beside you.
“A game?” Mikasa and Jean ask at the same time.
“Yeah! Like would you rather or truth or dare. I could be fun.”
You heard a few groans as the others protested.
“Well- I think it could be fun.”
All heads turned to you as you spoke, a few smiling.
“Well there you have it. If new girl wants to do it, we do it. Let’s play truth or dare.” Armin said. “Annie, start us off.”
“Fine. Reiner, truth or dare.”
The buff man straightened his posture, taking a big sigh as he answered “truth”.
“Did you plan on going home with Y/N when you first came in with her?”
“I-I,” the man stuttered as he side eyed you.
“C’mon. You have to answer truthfully. I’ll go get the tequila if you don’t.”
Reiner swallowed thickly at Annie’s threat. Everyone giggled, leaning forward in anticipation.
“Yes.”
Connie and Sasha threw themselves back cackling as they tipped over bowls of snack foods.
“I knew it! You had your arm around her and everything! Sorry about that hunk, Y/N. He’s goofy as hell.”
You chuckled at Connie’s comment, shuddering when you felt a cold stare from across the room. Turning your gaze, you met eyes with green ones. Eren was mad. It was written all over him. But, what about? He didn’t have a claim over you. You were his favorite customer, who cares about some little game of confessions?
Reiner cleared his throat, wiping the sweat off his face to clear his nerves so he could get the attention off of his embarrassment.
“Jean, truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“I dare you to give Mikasa a lap dance.”
“If you want to keep your fingers, you’ll chose a different dare.”
Everyone chuckled at Mikasa’s threat, but someone didn’t.
Your gaze shifted back to Eren. His eyes never left you. He was staring right at you as he took another drag from his joint. The cherry red. Light flickered as it threatened to go out.
You tried and failed to focus on the game, your attention fully on Eren now. The soft smile that tugged at his lips mirrored your own as the chatter faded.
“Eren, truth or dare.”
You both turned your heads to Connie who sat rocking with anticipation.
“Dare. I’m not a pussy.”
“Connie’s dares are always the craziest.” You nodded as Sasha whispered this to you. You felt a spark of excitement in you as well.
“I dare you….” Connie looked around the room, eyes wandering as they slowly met yours, a smirk forming on his lips as he did.
“I dare you to do 7 minutes in heaven with Y/N.”
“Fine.”
Eren didn’t even give you a moment to protest. You’re not even sure you fully registered the situation before he caught your wrist in his hand and pulled you up, half dragging you to the closet down the hall. Before you know it, you’re falling into winter jackets, blankets and a broom inside the closet as Eren closes the door behind you both. The sound of a click was heard from outside as someone locked the door, walking away to give you both privacy.
“Well….this is nice.”
Eren sighed as he leaned against the wall across from you. His eyes bore into you once again, eyebrows furrowed as he looked you up and down.
“Nice outfit. Your mom dress you?”
“No. Yours did.”
He chuckled slightly as he shook his head.
“You’re insufferable, you know that?”
You furrowed your brows at him this time, folding your arms across your chest as you sized him up.
“If I’m so insufferable, why’d you invite me to YOUR party and agree to do this stupid dare with me?”
He but the inside of his cheek, raising a hand to card his fingers through his hair as he took a step closer to you.
“Because as insufferable and annoying as you are, I enjoy having you around. And I guess you’re alright.”
You’re not sure if it’s the fog in your brain or the closeness between you both, but you started to drift closer to him. The both of you taking small steps forward to close the gap between you two.
“I’m alright?”
“Yeah. And I’m this light, you’re kinda cute.”
“…..it’s almost pitch black darkness in here….”
“I said what I said.”
You groaned as you twisted away from him.
“You know, you can almost be so sweet sometimes. Then you’re just a big jerk—”
Your sentence was cut off as his lips met yours, a heated kiss burning on your lips.
Eren hummed as he slowly slid a hand up your arm, brushing your hair behind your ear as it cupped the back of your head. The other arm wrapped around your waist, gripping to your top tightly as he pulled you flush against his chest.
You moaned quietly as he pulled away from the kiss, green eyes meeting yours for a moment before he planted another chaste kiss to your lips, then proceeding to kiss across your jaw and down your neck.
“Shhhh. Not that I care, but we do have some guests outside.” Eren said as he bit your collarbone, placing a light kiss on the exposed skin.
“Fuck it. Let them hear.”
A smirk tugged at his lips as he knelt down on the floor before you.
“Gladly.”
Before the word was even out of his mouth, he was lifting up your skirt, putting his head underneath as his fingers pinched at the plush skin of your thighs.
You yelped, throwing a hand over your mouth as you felt his warm tongue lick a stripe up your underwear, his nimble fingers pulling at them to push the fabric aside. He sucked the material right wear your clit was, making you lift your hips to meet his face. A dark chuckle rattled in his throat, sending vibrations through you.
Once he pushed the fabric out of the way, you gasped as he licked a long stripe once again on your bare cunt.
“Oh fuck, Eren!” You whispered as he groaned, toying his tongue across your clit.
His mouth was relentless as it licked and sucked every part between your legs. You welcomed the bruising grip he had on your thighs and hips as you neared your release.
His mouth popped as he pulled it off of you for a moment, bringing two of his fingers into his mouth to wet them. He prodded at your entrance, admiring the slick shine and puckering hole as you welcomed his fingers.
He smiled at the noises he pulled from you, relishing in the sounds of pleasure that only he could pull from you.
“Good girl.” He whispered as he placed a kiss to your sensitive clit. You jumped slightly at the contact, bringing a hand down to grip his hair, slightly tugging it as you grinder your hips to meet his face and pace.
“So close. I’m so close, ‘Ren.”
He kept his pace as he licked your slit, devouring as much of your juices as he could.
As you came, a hand came up to your mouth as you bit into your palm to silence your moans. Your thighs tightened around his head and hand as they shook, spasming through the shocks of pleasure coursing through your nerves.
“Atta girl. Good fucking girl.” Eren’s praise had you throwing your head back, no longer worried about concealing your moans as they escaped your lips.
Eren pulled his head up, taking in your worn out form as he chuckled, bringing his fingers to his mouth to suck them clean.
“That was….wow.” You managed to say through pants as you tried to catch your breath.
“mm. I know. You taste good.”
You smacked his arm, sitting up as he pulled at your hand.
Just as you went to speak again, the door to the closet was thrown open. Eren moved in front of you, shielding you from prying eyes from the group stood outside the door.
“Well, your seven minutes have been up for a while. You guys done? Or should I reset the timer?” Jean asked in annoyance.
Eren rolled his eyes, pulling you to your feet as he pushed the others back towards the apartment entrance.
“Actually, how about you all go home. I’m going to need a bit more than seven minutes for this and I’m sure you guys don’t want to stick around for it.”
The group groaned as they picked their things up on their way out the door, some poking fun at the two of you and others shouting at you to “get some” already.
Once the door was locked, Eren was pulling you once again, down the hall further than you’ve ever been in his apartment. You came to his bedroom, illuminated by a lamp with blue lights.
You didn’t have much time to look around before he had you sprawled out on cotton sheets.
His face hovered above yours, noses brushing each other’s.
“You’re okay with this?”
“Please shut up and keep going, ‘Ren.”
Before you knew it, clothes were being thrown across the room and in the floor. Eren was licking and biting every surface of skin revealed as stripped you.
Once he stripped his underwear, his cock sprang free, leaking tip almost a cherry red as it bounced in anticipation.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
The head of his cock pushed at your entrance, stretching your hole as he moaned at the warmth.
Once he had slid all the way in, you felt your walls flutter, pulling a deep groan from Eren’s throat. He rested his head on your chest, delivering kisses and small bites to your breasts as he pinched at your hips again.
His hand ghosted over your thigh, bending your leg as he wrapped his arm around your thigh and calf to press it up for better access.
You bucked your hips, begging for him to start moving. He sat out with a slow pace, slowly dragging the length of his thick cock out and in, drawing moans from you as your nails dug into his shoulders.
“Fuck, why didn’t we do this sooner.”
You chuckled as his hips became frantic, thrusting into you at a bruising pace.
“I’m insufferable, remember?” It was his turn to chuckle as he planted a kiss on your lips, hips bucking into yours as he moaned into your mouth.
Both of your highs had worn off, cloudy minds now clear as you reveled in the pleasure that coursed through your bodies.
Ain’t no way y’all are forgetting this moment.
Your highs approached quickly. Your body began to burn with need as you wrapped your legs around Eren’s hips, clinging on to his body as he kept his pace. He buried his face into your neck, planting sloppy kisses and silencing his delicious sounds.
Your walls tightened around him as you came, freezing his thrusts. He groaned at the increase in pressure on his dick, his own body shuttering as he pulled out, painting the outside of your pussy and the inside of your thighs with his load.
He crashed on top of you, head buried in your chest as you both melted into each other. Heavy breathing filled the room, replacing the sound of skin to skin slapping.
Once you had both calmed down, your hand came up to brush at his hair. You pulled it out of his face and drug your nails through it, pulling a soft mewl from him as his eyes fluttered open to meet yours.
“That feels good. Like a drug. You’re like my own personal drug.”
You smiled at his sleepy words, heart fluttering at his gentle tone and how soft he looked. You had never seen him look so innocent.
“Let’s keep this cherried then. I kind of like this.”
Hello my loves! I hope you all are doing fabulous and are ready for a new week! I just wanted to say a few things and get a little input from you all.
First, I wanted to thank you all so much for the wonderful support you’ve shown me. I know I’m not the best writer and I don’t have a good posting schedule, but you have still been so good to me. All 1,149 of you!
SECOND, this one is big, I need y’all’s opinion. Should I continue on with The Nanny, or work on my My Hero: Unlimited or Backstabber series? I really want to know what you guys think.
Also, I’ve seen and read all of your requests and I promise I’m getting to them! I’m working on a Todobaku x reader right now that I’m going to be posting soon. So please don’t think I’m ignoring those! I have just been consumed with work and I want to make the requests from you all as perfect and juicy as I can.
If you’ve read this far, thank you so much again. Love you guys bunches! I send all the love to you all!
Synopsis: Falling in love when you live a life full of uncertainties isn’t always the best idea. But you’ve followed Eren this far and loved him for this long. He may be the worlds enemy, but does he really have to be yours too? Inspired by Adele’s song Love In the Dark Bc I love her and the angsty vibes suit Eren so well. Expect a Levi version.
Warning: 18+ content and mentions of blood. If you like angsty smut, this is for you:)
Your question caught Armin off guard. He turns his head to see you as you remained looking up at the starry sky above. A light breeze blew the hair out of your face, revealing watery eyes and furrowed brows.
“You mean Eren?”
You nodded in reply, not daring to look away from the night sky.
“I think he is. He’s strong and determined. His letters haven’t given us any reason to believe he’s not okay, right?”
You scoffed at the thought of the letters Eren had been sending. They were filled with orders and information about Marley, not on his well-being. You missed him. You didn’t want to admit it out loud, but you needed him.
“Yeah. You’re right. He’s fine and we are going to see him soon.”
Armin nodded as he shifted closer, throwing an arm across your shoulders and pulling your head to rest against his.
The day would finally come when you’d see him again.
You stood atop a building adjacent from where the Warhammer Titan stood tall, its hardened material piercing Eren’s Attack Titan through the chest.
You watched from above as Eren pulled free from inside the Titans shell and directed his vision upwards, meeting your hardened gaze.
Your expression remained stoic and calm, as did his. Relief settled in your core as you sat eyes on him for the first time in months, your heart screamed at you to reach out to him. However, something deep within screamed at you to leave. To walk away.
But his eyes….
If only he’d look away so you could.
“Y/N, you have a clear view of the Warhammer?” Jean asked as he landed beside you on the roof.
You shook your arm, feeling the weight of the Thunder Spear that made your muscles burn. Your vision tore away from Eren, your focus now locking in on the Titan standing ahead. You squinted your eyes, lifting an arm to get the nape in your sights.
“I do. But, something isn’t right about this. Look.” You pointed to the ground below the Titan, bring attention to the vein like cords that connected to the foot of the Titan and stretched underground.
Jean nodded before he jumped to stand on the edge of the roof.
“I see. Take your aim anyway. Go.”
You nodded as he zipped away, leaving you to stand on the edge as he did. You readied your spear and jumped off the edge, realizing your ODM gear hooks and soaring towards the Titan.
Lifting your arm, you closed one eye as you looked down the spear, getting the nape directly in your sights before you released it, perfectly sinking it into the nape with great force. You pulled the pin, waiting for some kind of reaction and grit your teeth in annoyance when you realized your intuition was correct.
“Dammit, Jean. Now I’ve wasted a Thunder Spear.”
A burning sensation in your right arm brought your attention away from your frustration. You winced when you moved it and saw a deep, four inch gash oozing blood down your uniform and soaking the black material.
You held your breath as you climbed into the airship after Jean, rolling on your side as you made it inside and releasing the air you held. Your eyes shut for a moment, relishing in the feeling of safety when footsteps stepped by your head. A foot gently nudged your unhurt arm, making you open your eyes in a squint.
“Oi, let me take you to get that looked at.”
You took Floch’s outstretched hand, allowing him to pull you up.
He cheered with the other soldiers as he made a path for you, bringing you to the metal door on the other end of the ship.
Once it was opened, your eyes met his. You froze in place, blood dripping from your fingers to the wooden panels beneath your feet.
“Y/N,” Eren’s words mumbled out through pale, emotionless lips. His eyes traveled from your face to the wound and down to the dripping blood on the floor.
He rose to his feet, face remaining stoic and unbothered.
“Let me help y-”
“No,” you adjusted your posture as you cut him off. “I don’t need your help. Don’t bother. Just sit back down, Eren.”
“But, you’re arm-”
“I don’t need your help. I. Don’t. Need. Your. Help.”
Your assertive tone had the entire rooms attention on you. Everyone stopped their movement and directed their eyes at you. The quiet drips of blood thumping against the wood being the only sound along with the hum of the ship.
You didn’t miss the glint of hurt in his eyes at your words. How could you? It was like looking at a kicked puppy. But, sometimes it’s easier to be cruel rather than show kindness.
“Connie?”
You hadn’t realized the boy had been standing behind you. You were so focused on Eren that you failed to feel the boy’s presence.
You watched as a tear fell down his cheek, fear clouding his eyes as he stared straight ahead.
“It’s Sasha. She’s dead.”
Heat took over your body, making you forget the dizziness in your head from the loss of blood. You heard someone mumbling behind you as Connie answered, but it was just background noise that couldn’t be heard over the ringing in your ears.
One of your best friends was…. dead?
You froze as laughter was heard from behind you. Slowly turning, your eyebrows furrowed as your eyes welled up with tears. Hot, angry tears that boiled over like an overflowing kettle.
“Eren…you’re a monster.”
His laughter died down at your words, eyes meeting yours, once again filled with hurt.
Like you thought, it’s easier to be cruel than to be kind.
Eren had grabbed you from behind, pulling you into an empty room outside the room filled with holding cells where his Jeagerist friends resided.
You stumbled into the desk as he tossed you inside. Wincing at the impact, you grit your teeth as you looked up at him.
“What do you want?”
He leaned against the door in front of you, leaving an infinite amount of space between you both. You felt so far away from him. You wanted to reach out to him. To hold him. Kiss him.
But, you wanted to hate him. Needed to hate him.
“Like I said. I want to talk.”
“Then talk,” you replied, folding your arms across your chest.
Eren leaned his head against the door behind him, looking down at you through hooded eyes.
You took in his appearance.
How dare he look so handsome.
His hair was pulled back into a messy bun, stray hairs perfectly framing his beautiful face. The frown he wore usually had pulled up into a soft smile on one end as he sized you up.
“I missed you.”
You swallowed at his words. The thick lump in your throat caught. You felt sick.
“You did.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. You didn’t believe him. How could you? He was so focused on bringing down the people on the other side of the ocean, so how could you believe he had time to miss you?
“I did. You know I love you. I meant every word I said those years ago.”
You remembered that day. Of course you did. You replayed that memory over and over for the first few months Eren left you behind. But, months turned into a year. You never heard from him. Never saw him. You tried to be strong and brave, but your heart wasn’t in it anymore.
He just left you in the dark. Never mentioned that day or those words again for years. Not until now.
You needed to move on.
“I…can’t…love you, Eren. Not anymore. I know what you plan to do-”
“It’s for the best, Y/N! I’m doing this for you. For Mikasa and Armin. For our future….don’t you want that? A future with all the love and happiness you deserve?”
The sickness settled in your stomach now. Maybe at one time you would have dropped everything and said yes. Deep down, you still wanted to. You didn’t want to live without him, but you needed to.
“Eren,”
“You called me a monster.”
His words cut you off in a hurt tone. He tried to mask them with a bitter smile, but his glossy eyes didn’t hide the disbelief that you would ever say something to him like that.
“I did. I’m sorry.”
“You’re probably right. I am a monster to some people. But I truly am doing all of this for you. I love you. I want you to live a long, happy life. One without-”
“One without you?” The bitterness in your tone cut him off this time. You glared up at him with burning eyes, causing his chest to burn.
“Yes.”
“I should. I should live my life far from you. You’re going to hurt me, and everyone else in your wake of you do what you’re about to do. Your friends, your family, your people…by staying around you, we will only know pain.”
Eren visibly deflated at your words. He knew he was hurting you, but he was hurting too. He needed you much more than you needed him.
“Don’t. Don’t say anymore. No more fighting. Just please let me kiss you. I need to before…before….” His words drifted off. You know what he was going to say. You knew what he needed to say before he carried out his mission.
You reached your hands towards him, cradling his face between your hands.
“Okay.”
You did let him kiss you.
Your lips met his in a perfect kiss like two puzzle pieces. You molded together, holding each other close as if the other would be ripped away at any moment.
And it was true. Either one of you could be ripped away at any moment. Eren was destined for death, whether it be the end of his term, or dying in the hands of a determined soldier. You knew this would be the last time you did this.
His hands found their way to the back of your thighs as he lifted, allowing you to jump slightly as he plopped you on the empty desk behind you.
You spread your thighs, grabbing the collar of his jacket as you pulled him into you, slotting him between your legs as you brushed your nose against his, lips barely grazing each other.
“I can’t tell you I love you.”
Eren swallowed, leaning forward to rest his head against yours.
“I know. It’s okay.”
His words were cut short as you pulled him into another kiss, tears burning in your eyes, threatening to spill over as you moaned into his mouth.
His name left your lips as he lurched forward, grabbing onto your hips as his hips met yours. His hard on poked at your core, begging for more friction. A groan left his lips as he kissed you again, silencing his noises with your mouth.
Your legs twisted around his hips, bringing him impossibly closer as he kissed down your jaw to your exposed neck. Reaching the collar of your white button up, he reached a hand up to undo your buttons.
After undoing the top two, he paused, pulling back slightly to look at you, eyes shifting between each of yours.
“Is this okay?” His question fell on almost deaf ears as you nodded frantically, desperate to feel more of him. Your eyes remained on his puffy lips, silently begging for him to put them on you again.
“Eren, please. I need more.”
He chuckled as he leaned forward, planting a quick kiss to your lips.
His hands worked all your buttons, moving down to your pants as his lips made their way to your chest.
Your back arched as he kissed your breasts, your hands playing with the loose hairs at the nape of his neck.
Quick fingers pulled your pants down, his following soon after along with his shirt. He left your button up on and undone, eyes admiring the old bra you wore. He thought about how cute it was. How cute you were. How unbelievably beautiful the woman he loved had grown to be.
“I love you.”
Those words he whispered to you as he slowly pushed inside you made your heart do flips.
We’re you using him? Did the think you were using him? He loved you, and you refused to say it back.
You didn’t love him, right?
Right?
But every thrust he delivered, every kiss he placed so delicately to your burning skin made you want to cry.
His pace was relentless, sweet praises leaving his lips.
“You’re so beautiful. You feel so good, Y/N. God, I love you.”
“I—”
No.
No, no. You couldn’t say it. You didn’t want to admit it.
You bit your lip, tears pricked your eyes again. Both from the pain and the words Eren spoke. And the words your couldn’t…wouldn’t speak.
His pace quickened as he pushed deeper, causing your legs to tighten around his waist. He placed kisses all over your face, no plan or pattern to his actions. He just needed to kiss every inch of that beautiful face.
“I’m so close.”
He hummed at your words, keeping his pace and reaching a hand down to rub your clit with his thumb, his other four fingers pressing into your stomach to feel himself.
He leaned into you further, lips brushing yours as his other hand gripped your chin, bringing your eyes to his.
“Let go, my love.”
You did as he commanded. Your body melted at the feeling, his body collapsing on top of yours as he reached his high as well.
Once the relentless sounds of moans and slapping skin ceased, the only sounds that filled the room were from you both panting and the creaky floor beneath Eren’s feet.
Your thighs refused to let him go. At least, you blamed it on your thighs.
And whether it be post-high syndrome or the fact that you knew something big was coming, you couldn’t deny your heart and brain that were screaming at you along with your aching core.
“Eren.”
You cradled his face yet again, allowing a single tear to fall from your tired eyes.
“I love you too.”
A smirk tugged at his lips, bringing life back to those sparkling, green, puppy dog eyes.
Thank you all so much for reading! I hope I executed this idea well and I hope you all enjoyed it.
Also holy shit thank you for 990 followers??? That’s like…almost 1000….. I am so so thankful for you all and I love you guys. Thank you for all the support you have shown me. You are all so wonderful❤️
Aight so I’ve been listening to Love in the Dark by Adele over and over this week and all I can think about it S4 Eren Yeager and/or Levi Ackerman. The song just fits them so well??? The words and the music just sounds like a tragic love story.
Soooo should I write a lil something about that?? Probs will do it anyway, but I need someone else to hear me out on it because I’m obsessed with the idea of an angsty love story with one or both of them.
