#happy poem
When I wonder why
I’m not compelled to write
of all the things I feel for you
I realize:
poetry doesn’t sound the same
through a mouth that’s smiling
Every time we laugh
I remember what is like to be alive
For it’s my favorite sound in the hole world
the girl who lost things but gained so much more
I like to watch you late at night.
The television light illuminating your soft features.
I see your eyes crinkle and sparkle as you laugh at the movie you’re watching.
I sigh at how you look so peaceful and stress free in this moment.
You turn to me and a smile as bright as the sun fills your face.
You coo sweet words at me and engulf me with a tight hug.
You trace my facial features with your calloused fingertips.
I don’t know what I did to deserve someone who cherishes me as much as you do.
Your eyes are pouring with love and admiration for me.
Mine are looking at you just the same.
I want to stay in this moment forever.
But every moment with you is this blissful.
And then I realize that I have forever to spend with you.
The love we share is endless.
I miss the way
my Grandma said supper
salty-sweet memories,
dripping syrup,
melted butter
Written too early
for the evening hour,
her words ran away with the dish,
the spoon, and The Brave Little Toaster!
And this is where our memories begin,
pouring pancake batter with you at 9 PM
biscuits
gravy
cheddar
sliced ham
stealing kisses in the cereal aisle
before they lock us in
Dunkin’ donut smiles,
muffins, mittens, neon signs
Eggo in the moon
we rise and shine
at twilight.
-breakfast for dinner
It feels like toast
on Saturday
Keanu Reeves and
comfort food
going back to bed
after breakfast,
finding silly memes
to send you
A fresh box of crayons,
my favorite cookies in stock;
the first breeze
after quitting my job.
-happiness
“i want to get drunk, tell you how i feel, kiss your face and hold you tight.”
— 7:21 PM
“but whenever a love song came on, i’d think about you. whenever i couldn’t sleep, i’d think about you. whenever something incredible happened, you’d be the first person i’d want to tell. whenever i was sad, i’d only ever want to talk to you. whenever i wanted to be touched, i only ever wanted to be touched by you. on a rainy day i’d want to curl up in bed with you. on a sunny one i’d want to drive around with the windows down with your hand on my thigh. it’s you. it has fucking always been you.”
— everything i didn’t say (6:54 pm, AP)
“i miss you so much
but all i can do now
is listen to your favourite song
and pretend it is you
singing it to me.”
6 months
“My loneliness became the fire behind my ambition. I would no longer dwell in my desire to be loved; I would simply begin to love myself. I would get busy. I would work on myself harder than ever before. I would put all of my energy I had been using to pity myself for being alone towards something wonderful for myself. I was going to fall in love with being alive and find the purpose of each day. Little did I know, loving myself would lead me to the love I had previously been searching desperately for. I hadn’t been looking, so he came right to me. Self love is everything. Never underestimate the power of your own drive.”
— the night i turned myself around (10:07 PM)
“kiss my forehead, but bite my lips. tuck my hair behind my ears, but leave bite marks on my shoulders. hold me tighter than you ever have before, and that means you canhold my neck tighter, too. i’ll kiss your tears away, and i can kiss the pathway down to your zipper, too. i’ll hold you when you need me or even when you don’t, and i can leave scratches on your back sometimes, too. i want to kiss you when you need it most, but also where you need it most. the way we love each other is shown not just by our affection, but the way our bodies treat each other.”
— sex with the one you love (CS, 10:25 PM)
“not even the thousands of miles between us could change the way we felt about each other.”
— i miss you (JB, 5:02 PM)
“Sing that song that’s been stuck in your head since last Thursday. Take that Italian course you’ve wanted to take since your freshman year. Kiss that boy you’ve had a crush on since middle school. Write that book you’ve had the idea for since you were 17. Move to that city you’ve been dreaming of. Try that new recipe, take that road trip with your best friends. Get drunk, have sex with the boy in your first period class. Paint that picture, join that team. Tell your soulmate you love them and you know what? Order from the expensive part of the menu. Life is too short to not take chances or do risky things. You have to do everything you want with the time that you have. Please live your life while you can. I promise you, only good will come.”
“I read people like books, but you’re a different language.”
— what’s on your mind (DL, 12:26 am)
“she wanted to be the one to make him smile. she wanted to feel the purpose in his hands as they explored her body. she wanted to run her fingers through his hair as he fell asleep. she wanted to know about his past and become his future. she wanted to kiss him harder than she had ever kissed anyone before. how come it couldn’t be that easy?”
— parallels pt 2 (1:02 am)
“if a man often compliments your body, but never calls you pretty or beautiful, you shouldn’t trust him. and if a man only ever compliments your looks, but never calls you passionate or intelligent or exquisite, then he is not the man for you. you are more than just a pretty face or a one night stand. know your worth, baby girl.”
— know your worth, baby girl (11:59 pm)
“if a man often compliments your body, but never calls you pretty or beautiful, you shouldn’t trust him. and if a man only ever compliments your looks, but never calls you passionate or intelligent or exquisite, then he is not the man for you. you are more than just a pretty face or a one night stand. know your worth, baby girl.”
— a message to my younger self (11:54 PM)
“i could drive around with you all night, listening to your shitty music and singing the words to each other. as long as i get to stare into those big brown eyes and watch you run your fingers through that curly brown hair, i will be eternally grateful.”
— thursday, june 4th, CL (chicago freestyle)
“we sat on the roof at 5 am and drank shitty coolers and as the sun began to rise, it felt like — even if only for a second — everything was going to be okay.”
“the feeling that swallows you after your first sip of morning coffee. showering, putting on nothing but underwear and your biggest, comfiest t-shirt and crawling under the covers of your nice warm bed, cool air all around you. late summer nights with your best friends while the cool but sticky wind rushes through your beach waved hair. the gentle burn on your face as you roast a marshmallow over a lovely bonfire. curling up on the couch in your softest pyjamas with the coziest blanket, a fire crackling in the distance, and a book placed gently on your lap as the beautiful fluffy snow falls outside your window. waking up to the smell of pancakes and bacon and coffee on a sunny sunday morning. walking along the beach, the warm sand between your toes and the salt in your hair. listening to a song for the first time and knowing it will be your favourite. holding hands and feeling their fingertips trace gentle patterns along the sides of your wrists. kissing the love of your life until your lips are numb. these are the feelings i stay alive for.”
— feelings to stay alive for (hm, 12:51 am)
Shameless (2011)
“and i loved him
so deeply.
even when he would smash my fragile heart
into a million pieces
i would only let
him
pull it back together
just for him to destroy it again.”
— CT (2:45 am)
i need a man that loves me for my innocence
that adores every inch of my untouched skin
but is selfish enough to want to change that
to be the first to undress my body and soul
— 2:11 am
“loving him wasn’t easy
but easy is boring
and i was always one for a challenge.”
— 7:37 PM
