#crush poem
Do I just spill my fucking guts?
I’m only good at either complete subtlety
Or wearing my heart like a tattoo sleeve
Maybe I’ll go be naked on stage
Then go into witness protection
And never be heard from again
I see the way you two talk
and I know what’s happening
because it happened to you and me
a long time ago I was your first choice
Oh can you not see the sparks
that fly from my chest
every time I look at you
And somehow it’s sad
how much I still want you
even though you keep
pushing me away
I can smell your scent
wherever I go
but when I think about you
I can’t even remember how your hand felt in mine
I will be there for you
Hold my hand
and tell me you care for me
put a smile on my face
and tell me I’m beautiful
make me laugh
and make our time together magical
When I look in your eyes
I see a bright future
I see a happy life
a life that I spend next to you
I still remember our first meeting
I was so nervous to sit next to you
I think I forgot how to talk
and then you started the conversation
and suddenly everything was fine
I would do everything
just to have you next to me
all the time
every night
I think I will never be able
to tell you
what I really feel for you
last day of school
i see you standing at the end of the hall
this is it, this is the last time i will see you in months
i want to feel your embrace once more,
i ache of longing, and wanting
i am sick of wishing, and waiting
i approach you, asking if i can hug you before i leave
my heart heaves in my chest; i feel sick, yet
i know i would regret it otherwise
a moment passes
you don’t quite hear me
i ask again
my voice is small, and i feel even smaller
another moment passes
i ask louder, on the edge of breaking down
and you say yes,
is this a dream?
you take me into your arms
god, you know i miss the feeling
you rub my back
i feel at home
we let go, and i smile
you tell me to stay in touch over the holidays
we say our final goodbyes
i shall say hello again in september
Be with someone who actually gives a fuck about your bad days
Why does your laugh
Do so much to me.
“oh, i’d rather be
kissing in summer, so innocent
in your apartment on the weekends
lift up my dress to see where you’ve been
that’s what i want and that’s where i am
bite off an apple right from your fridge
come here and taste it right off my lips
spill your emotions into my hands
that’s what i want.”
—apple by julia michaels, inner monologue part 1
“i became sick to my stomach when i realized how much i’d do for you.”
— stupid for you (10:07 pm, AP)
“but whenever a love song came on, i’d think about you. whenever i couldn’t sleep, i’d think about you. whenever something incredible happened, you’d be the first person i’d want to tell. whenever i was sad, i’d only ever want to talk to you. whenever i wanted to be touched, i only ever wanted to be touched by you. on a rainy day i’d want to curl up in bed with you. on a sunny one i’d want to drive around with the windows down with your hand on my thigh. it’s you. it has fucking always been you.”
— everything i didn’t say (6:54 pm, AP)
“i could not control the electricity that would course through my body whenever i thought of him touching me. evenings spent imagining his fingers anywhere and everywhere and afternoon day dreams of my fingers pulling through his hair consumed me. late night chats with his words lifting me up and wrapping around me were the highlight of my days. we promised ourselves that if we could not see each other, we would make the most of what we could do. that is how we made it work.”
— long distance (7:41 PM, AP)
“no matter what happens,
i always have
and i always will
find my way back to you.
no matter how much we fight
or cheat
no matter how long it’s been
we always end up colliding nonetheless.
and i have never understood
why i always find myself back between your
stupid
warm
loving arms
but it has always been you.
it has always fucking been you.”
— always (9:44 pm, AP)
“don’t call me baby
unless you mean it,
don’t tell me you need me
if you don’t believe it,
so let me know the truth
before i dive right into you.”
— dive by ed sheeran
“i miss you so much
but all i can do now
is listen to your favourite song
and pretend it is you
singing it to me.”
6 months
“kiss my forehead, but bite my lips. tuck my hair behind my ears, but leave bite marks on my shoulders. hold me tighter than you ever have before, and that means you can hold my neck tighter, too. i’ll kiss your tears away, and i can kiss the pathway down to your zipper, too. i’ll hold you when you need me or even when you don’t, and i can leave scratches on your back sometimes, too. i want to kiss you when you need it most, but also where you need it most. the way we love each other is shown not just by our affection, but the way our bodies treat each other.”
— love and sex (what i want)
“My loneliness became the fire behind my ambition. I would no longer dwell in my desire to be loved; I would simply begin to love myself. I would get busy. I would work on myself harder than ever before. I would put all of my energy I had been using to pity myself for being alone towards something wonderful for myself. I was going to fall in love with being alive and find the purpose of each day. Little did I know, loving myself would lead me to the love I had previously been searching desperately for. I hadn’t been looking, so he came right to me. Self love is everything. Never underestimate the power of your own drive.”
— the night i turned myself around (10:07 PM)
“kiss my forehead, but bite my lips. tuck my hair behind my ears, but leave bite marks on my shoulders. hold me tighter than you ever have before, and that means you canhold my neck tighter, too. i’ll kiss your tears away, and i can kiss the pathway down to your zipper, too. i’ll hold you when you need me or even when you don’t, and i can leave scratches on your back sometimes, too. i want to kiss you when you need it most, but also where you need it most. the way we love each other is shown not just by our affection, but the way our bodies treat each other.”
— sex with the one you love (CS, 10:25 PM)
“i hated the way that he made me feel — absolutely, uncontrollably giddy. so giddy that my lips refused to reform to their usual pout; forced into a consistent smile. so giddy that my stomach erupted with the most delicate of butterflies everytime his name popped on my screen. so unbelievably giddy that i couldn’t even bring myself to hate it — i fucking loved it.”
— giddy for you (CS, 5:38 PM)
““and she was greedy,” he said, a gentle smile forming on his face. “but she was greedy in all the right ways. she didn’t want material things. she was greedy for the feeling of being loved so much that her heart felt happy almost all the time. she was greedy for being called princess and baby. she was greedy for my eyes, and for my laugh. for the way my lips felt on hers. for the way her small body fit in my big sweaters. she was greedy for my love. and oh god, was I ever greedy for hers.””— Greedy (6:38 AM)
“not even the thousands of miles between us could change the way we felt about each other.”
— i miss you (JB, 5:02 PM)
“she wanted to be the one to make him smile. she wanted to feel the purpose in his hands as they explored her body. she wanted to run her fingers through his hair as he fell asleep. she wanted to know about his past and become his future. she wanted to kiss him harder than she had ever kissed anyone before. how come it couldn’t be that easy?”
— parallels pt 2 (1:02 am)
“he wanted to know what her lips would feel like on his. he wanted to tuck her curls behind her ear when they fell in front of her perfect face. he wanted to wrap his arms around her delicate body. he wanted to comfort her when she cried and rub her back. he wanted to play her favourite song and dance around the kitchen. he wanted to here that goddamn laugh for the rest of his life, no matter what it took. he wanted to reach out and have her. how come it couldn’t be that easy?”
— parallels pt 1 (12:54 AM)
“i could drive around with you all night, listening to your shitty music and singing the words to each other. as long as i get to stare into those big brown eyes and watch you run your fingers through that curly brown hair, i will be eternally grateful.”
— thursday, june 4th, CL (chicago freestyle)
