#incorrect percy jackson
Nico: I don’t even care about my foot hanging off the bed anymore. Come get me demons
Nico: Bring me home
Nico: Hi I would like to buy a coffin
Shop owner: Sir, I think you meant coffee
Nico: Both are fine
Will: Nico has been staring at me for a while, do you think he likes me?
Kayla:
Kayla: This is literally your wedding
Percy: I get my news from the only reliable source… Annabeth. Because I can say whatever I want and she will yell at me over the correct news
New camper: I want to be as cool as Percy Jackson
Nico: I once saw him drop a piece of pizza and cry for 20 minutes
Estelle: can we get McDonald’s?
Percy: no, we have food at home
*one oven burning later*
Percy: McDonald’s it is
Percy: the multiple assassination attempts made against me have helped build both character and self-esteem
Nico: You should FEAR me. I will take you DOWN. I am a MENACE
Will, fondly: You can be whatever you want to be, Nico
Percy: *winks at Annabeth unsubtly*
Annabeth: Did you just wink at me?
Percy: I dont know, you tell me *winks again*
Annabeth: I honestly couldn’t tell ya
Percy: Did i go to far?
Annabeth: No, no, no, you went to far eight hours ago, now your going to jail
Annabeth *calling Percy*: Where the hell are you? I’ve been trying to reach you for hours!
Percy: Oh yea, well we just went to the bar, got into a small fight, then we left and uhhh
Grover *mouthing: Escape room
Percy: And then we went to an escape room
Annabeth: Who the hell goes to an escape room after a bar fi- your in jail aren’t you?
Percy *trying to pick the lock*: It’s a room and we’re trying to escape!
Grover (while Percy is missing and he and Annabeth are complaining together): What about me? What if something happens to Percy and he never gets to meet my girlfriend? I don’t wanna hang out with some stupid girl who hasn’t met Percy
Chiron *walks in the big house*: What are you seven doing, offering some sort of sacrifice?
Percy: Yea and it me
Jason: No, it’s not, no one wants to touch that
Percy: Okay, first of all, ouch
Leo: Hey, wanna see a butterfly?
Jason:No
Annabeth: Please don’t
Percy: Hell yeah!
Leo: *yeets butter across the room*
Percy: *drinking “something”
Chiron: No drinking here Percy!
Percy *hoarsely*: This is flour
Leo: Frankly I’m offended you would even think of me as the person who set the kitchen on fire. Shame on you.
Annabeth: So it wasn’t you?
Leo: No it definitely was but i’m still offended
Leo: *eating something*
Annabeth: Hey Leo, what are you eating?
Leo: *starts eating faster*
Annabeth: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EATING
Fanfiction tropes as Hogwarts houses.
(Or alternatively, which hogwarts house is likely to be involved in said tropes.)
Gryffindor: rivals to friends to lovers, there was only one bed, accidentally locked themselves in a confined space (absolutely the kind of dumbassery you would expect from a gryff), idiots in love, truth and dare, OBLIVIOUSNESS, coming of age.
Hufflepuff: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, coffee shop au, FLUFF, song fics, childhood best friends, neighbors, mutual pining, accidental confession (lmfao), hot cold dynamics, soulmate au.
Ravenclaw: office romance, METAPHORS, book shop au (obviously), bonding over common interests, letter/email fics, soft nerds, project partners, DARK ACADEMIA, domestic as hell, “and they were roommates”.
Slytherin: enemies to friends to lovers (duh), Fake dating, arranged marriage, partners in crime, immortal lovers, vampire/veela/supernatural elements, Never have I ever, ANGST, secret pining, “make me.” ‘nuff said.
It kinda makes sense in a weirdly specific way if you think about it.
Leo, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Jason: You did WHAT–
Piper: William Snakepeare
Annabeth: My boyfriend must be of utmost logical mind and–
Percy: *trips on a rock* Sorry!
Annabeth: I want that one.
Guys just imagine Reyna and Octavian aggressively singing This School is Mine from AVPSY to each other
Reyna:
You know nothing of my life
All I am is what I do
I cannot let you win
You snobbish, evil brat
Surrender now
Before I come for you
Octavian:
You will all bow down to me
Your reign is at an end
You are the not the Praetor you think
You are nothing but a fool
I see you now
You never were my friend
Both:
At last the lines are drawn into the sand
At last I know exactly where I stand
You may think that I am on the decline
But tonight this camp is mine!
Yes tonight this camp is mine!
Will: Hey I heard you like bad boys
Nico: Not really
Will: Oh thank god
Frank: *holds the door open for Hazel* After you.
Hazel: No, after you.
Frank: I insist, after you.
Reyna: *pushes past both of them* After me.
Hazel: You deserve an award for putting up with me.
Frank: You are my reward <3
Percy *turning to Annabeth*: You deserve an award for putting up with me.
Annabeth: Yeah, you can be a real bitch sometimes.
Leo: Is anyone else scared?
Percy: Not really. I’ve already lived longer than I expected.
Percy:dude
Jason: waddup bro
Percy: youd marry me if I asked right
Jason: id marry the shit out of you man
Percy:cool
Nico: Shut up
Will: Anyways
Nico: Not in a rude way.
Nico: Shut up in a gentle way.
Nico: Shut up, darling.
Percy: It’s going to work, trust me!
Chiron: Trust you?
Percy: …Trust Annabeth?
Chiron: Annabeth I trust.
Nico: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake
Jason: You’re literally making a Valentine’s day card for Will right now.
Nico *pointing his hot glue gun threateningly*: You’re on thin fucking ice
Will: Truth or dare, Nico. GO!
Nico:Truth
Will: How many times have you been nice to yourself today?
Nico: …. Dare
Will: Say you’re proud of yourself
Nico: I don’t like this game
Nico: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Will: I wake up at 6 am
Nico: ….. I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
Nico: I found out my sexuality yesterday.
Jason: Oh, did you? That’s great!
Nico: Yeah, I’m yarrsexual.
Jason:Wh–
Nico: You know?
Jason:N-no…
Nico: I be attracted to pirates matey.
Jason:
Jason: You can be so weird sometimes.
Jason trying to flex to Percy:
Annabeth:Stressed
Nico: Depressed
Will: Blessed
Reyna: Unimpressed
Percy: Chicken breast
Everyone:
Percy: What I wanted to be included
Will: Okay so how would you like your haircut?
Nico: Preferably with scissors although a sword would be badass
Nico: No! You live in a society!
Nico: I live in an animal crossing village and I’m thirty thousand dollars in debt to a fucking racoon
Nico: What do you mean standing omninously in a corner does not count as socializing
the seven and nico as lorde quotes
All hail the prettier jesus :)))
Piper -this dream isn’t feeling sweet
Annabeth - if being afraid is a crime we hang side by side
Percy - blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you
Jason -you know, we’re on each others team
Leo- and I’ve never felt more alone
Hazel -every perfect summer’s eating me alive
Frank -and ill never go home again
Nico- got a million bad habits to kick , not sleeping is one
