Two years ago, in honor of Queer Youth Empowerment Month, Coalition for Queer Youth launchedTESTIMONY, an online space for LGBTQ folks all over the world to share our stories, connect and see ourselves and our community reflected.
We hope that all who choose to come out today, experience the same sense of safety and understanding that you are part of an incredible, diverse, STRONG community of people and you are LOVED!
10,000 Portraits Across the Spectrum: The Self Evident Truths Project
To see more portraits of LGBTQ people across America, follow @selfevidentproject on Instagram.
A native New Yorker, 30-year-old iO Tillett Wright was aware at a young age that he was “a little trans kid.” In recent years, the artist-activist has come to reject the social and political constraints of certain labels in favor of a more inclusive — and nuanced — attitude toward sexuality. One result of this broader view of self-definition is iO’s Self Evident Truths project (@selfevidentproject), a six-year effort to photograph 10,000 people — like this awesome character from Iowa — who, by their own reckoning, are anywhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.
While the project began as a protest against legal efforts to ban same-sex marriage in the US, iO notes that, with the Supreme Court’s landmark 2015 decision that same-sex couples have a fundamental right to marry, both the political landscape and the project have changed. “It’s more of a celebration now,” iO (@iolovesyou) says. “It’s not about being gay or trans. It’s about allowing human beings to be who they say they are.” #NationalComingOutDay
The first time I saw Willow and Tara kiss, I was 18. That’s also when I realized all these feelings I’d had forever finally made sense. They’ve never known it, but the incredible people in The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe’s chat saved my life that year.
Be safe, be happy, have hope, and may your candles ever be extra flamey.
Happy National Coming Out Day! Here’s a super tired selfie to celebrate (not the most celebratory picture, but relevant for my words…) People talk of coming out like everyone has this big ‘coming out’ time where they announce to everyone in their life who they _are_, coming out from underneath the crushing assumption and veneer of the various societies we live in. The reality is much more messy for many of us - especially when you don’t fit the fairly narrow pigeon holes that have been provided for you or if you are in unsafe situations. I grew up in an abusive and broken household, by the time I was safe enough to actually come out I didn’t need to anymore… I didn’t have any family and I’d moved straight across the UK. Still, being bisexual means that whenever I landed in what appears to be a heterosexual relationship on the surface my identity is often erased all over again and the assumption is I’m straight (and female). I’m neither. I feel like I’ve had to come out OH SO MANY times in my life. Over and over for different reasons and different people. Unfortunately for me I don’t have that happy coming out story… the various times I’ve come out it’s not really been _about me_. As a highly political being, as a bisexual, fluid, gender non conforming android, I say, let all us many, various queers and trans people alike celebrate loudly, while sparing a thought for those of us that are not able to come out, or for who coming out has been a messy, life long process of confusion, frustration and sometimes danger. Love each other, celebrate each other; especially across the boundaries. I wish more than anything our community were more united, welcoming and less misogynistic. One day I dream of being able to celebrate whole heartedly ️
With it being national coming out Day I thought it would be best to share something personal.
On this day last year I remember being a terrified girl trying to “straighten” myself out. I started partying with people who made me forget who I was and it felt so good to feel like everyone else, like I didn’t have the weight of this secret on my shoulders. I would look at myself in the mirror and not recognize that person and I would smile because I didn’t want to be that terrified little girl anymore. Until one night I completely stoped thinking and at 1:30 in the morning I was in a 4 car collision trying to forget who I was and that night I remembered.. (I was thankfully ok and so was everyone else involved) I look back realizing that I was so unhappy I couldn’t care less what could happens to me. I didn’t think about all the people I could of hurt but most importantly I didn’t care about risking my life, just so I could forget myself. I couldn’t take it that everyday I would hear people and see people online talk poorly of the lgbt community. I didn’t want to be apart of that I would tell myslef, “I’m not an abomination like the rest of them”. Oh how wrong and disgusting I was. I never took the time to educate myself about the community and I believed what people were telling me. I have never been more proud to be apart of this community then I am right now. That very next day I was invited to another party like nothing happened, I never returned their call. I promised myself I would never loose sight of my happiness and I will never compromise who I am just for others comfortability . I can now say I know exactly who I am, I am proud of who I am and no I am not publicly out but everyone I surround myself with knows who I am. I am Emily Brown and I’m proudly gay! To my fellow lgbt+ community members who are just beginning their journey, know that you are loved by so so many and never NEVER forget who you are! I’ve always known I was different but my journey truly started when I realized I was sexually attracted to girls at 13 years old. Almost 5 years later and it’s a crazy roller coaster that’s still just in the beginning!
Happy National Coming Out Day! I love you all very much! I especially want to remind you that if you can’t or don’t want to come out yet, if you aren’t sure what label best suits you, if you change your mind, or if your relationship looks straight on the surface, you’re still valid!
Your identity is yours and no one gets to dictate it for you!
It’s National Coming Out Day! Some things to know:
Coming out can be a beautiful, empowering thing that makes your life easier;
But it’s also really scary and can sometimes, for a little while or for a long time, make life harder;
So it’s important to come out on your own terms, when and where you’re ready, at whatever pace feels right to you;
And equally important never to out anyone for any reason;
But whether you’re ready today or tomorrow or not for a very long time, lots of people love you and are ready to welcome you with open arms. Take your time.
Happy National Coming Out Day. I’m so proud to be a part of this community with you all, and I hope you are too. ❤️
You know… today was both Indigenous People’s DayandNational Coming Out Day for the “U.S.” And despite following both indigenous blogs and queer blogs I hadn’t seen anyone make a post talking about queer indigenous folks. But I hope there were some.
And to all of the other queer natives of Turtle Island I want you to know that you existing is amazing. You’re here in spite of all efforts to the contrary. Its not been easy. Its been hard, complicated, sometimes even lonely and confusing. But we are here none the less, breathing and growing. We climb so that the people who come after can be just that much closer to the sun. ☀️
Hey it’s National Coming Out Day! Just a reminder that today– or any day– if you’re looking for support to come out along any axis of queer identity, I’m here for you, if you’re not ready or able or want to come out or be out for ANY reason, I’m here for you, and if you are out or not and feel like you’re made invisible by the types of queerness that are centered on days like today, I am also here for you <3
I know this isn’t the case for most of us but I thought someone might need to hear my non-coming-out story:
I never really “came out” in the traditional sense because I won the family lottery and despite what society was telling me every day, my galaxy-brained parents never let me feel like there was any circumstance where me falling in love might be cause for weeping and wailing.
Coming out can be a joyful experience. Not feeling like you need to come out is just as good, sometimes.
differences between prepping for dates with The Two Genders ™ … I don’t think I’ve ever put out public work that explicitly shows my sexuality / dating preferences so here u gooo~
Needing medical care while being queer can be really hard for some of us. Why? Some of us lack access to trained providers that know how to talk to us and care for us, some of us have had way too many awful experiences and even thinking about making an appointment can bring up a mild sense of panic. On top of those kinds of worries and fears, some of us don’t have health insurance or money to pay for care so our options are even more limited. There are often a lot of barriers to care to contend with for queer folks. If we get to the place where we’ve actually gotten ourselves to an appointment and we’re walking in the door and checking-in, despite all of those barriers, then we may still have a couple more hurdles to get over.
We don’t want to be super bleak or discourage queers from getting health care at all — getting good care really matters! We also know some folks have awesome providers that really do it right and offer exceptional care — it’s a real mixed bag for queers.
This next bit from us here at QT is for folks that find the courage and fortitude to make an appointment, folks who have a pretty good provider that you’d like to keep seeing, those of us who make it in to receive care from a medical provider. If you’re like many LGBT folks, you might not be out to your primary care doctor. Here’s what we know: if you can do it, coming out to your healthcare provider can be an important step in your healthcare.
Why is it so important? LGBTQ folks have unique health needs — and no, it is not our queerness that creates those unique health needs. Being queer isn’t inherently unhealthy. It is the stigma, discrimination, and bias that we have to navigate everyday as queers that screw with our health. And this is only made more challenging for people of color, specifically for trans folks, for women, for poor people, for rural queers – anyone who is further stigmatized or discriminated against in incredibly big structural ways and with routine microaggressions.
We’re more likely to smoke, have mental health concerns, and have higher rates of some sexually transmitted infections. Also, in the case of trans folks, not being out to your doctor may mean missing out on crucial preventive healthcare. Having honest discussions with your provider about your sexual health needs and behaviors can make a really big difference in getting the care, services, testing, safer sex supplies, contraceptives, etc. that you need. Coming out to your doctor can mean getting better-personalized healthcare.
But I’m afraid the providers/ receptionists will be jerks to me if they find out I’m queer. The Cleveland Clinic has some solutions if you’re nervous about talking to your doc:
“When you call to schedule an appointment, ask if the practice has any LGBT patients. If you’re nervous about asking, keep in mind that you don’t have to give your name during that initial call.
At the appointment, bring up the subject when you feel the time is right. Or ask your doctor for a few minutes to chat while you’re still fully clothed or before you go in the exam room.”
You can also ask if the practice has a non-discrimination policy in place for LGBT patients. If the issue doesn’t come up on its own, tell your doctor that you know how important open communication with a health care provider is. Say something like “it’s important that you know I am a lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender person. Is there anything else relevant to my healthcare and my sexual orientation/gender identity we should talk about?”
If you’re still nervous, bring a friend with you to your first appointment. You can also check out the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association’s Healthcare Provider Directory to find a healthcare provider that’s LGBT-friendly in your area.
But what if the doctor outs me? There are laws in place preventing doctors from sharing your personal and medical information with other people. You may have heard of HIPPA, (that’s the main law in question,) which you can learn more about here.
It’s important to be able to advocate for yourself and the healthcare you need, and to have a healthcare provider who understands your life and provides you with the care you need regarding both your mental, physical and sexual health. Coming out to your doctor is a significant step to advocating for your own best care. No doubt it can be hard and bad providers make it harder, if you can keep trying that’s amazing, your heath matters a lot.
Our friends over at the Center for American ProgressandThink Progress have a ton of info about health care, access, and info for queers — check them out if you want more info.
Yup. we come out a lot, and sometimes it harder than others.
Whether you have come out already and you are celebrating, you have/ are coming out to someone today, or the person you are out to is yourself, you should enjoy today! Love yourself! I made a couple lockscreens for y'all
You are valid! You are loved!
I love all of you! Thank you guys so much for your support!
