There are a few paradoxical things about this lifestyle… and one of them is that to do this successfully, a couple has to be EXTREMELY committed to each other. They must have really great communication, open, and honest about EVERYTHING. When you think about it, a husband wanting his wife to be empowered to control and seek out her own physical pleasure is literally a good definition of what a husband should be committed to having a satisfied, fulfilled wife, and doing everything he can to make that happen. Because he can’t satisfied her needs.
A reminder for the hotwives, keep the fire going. Find time to increase play time…
Hotwifing… is dessert after the really good meal that is your relationship. It’s meant to be the extra, the guilty pleasure… It does take work, it does take effort, and you will find flakes and jerks along the way. When you get it right, though… it can be amazing. So remember, you do this together… you both have a veto vote… this is a marathon and not a sprint… there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do this… it’s what works for you.
One last thing about “it works for you” part. Despite the porn and despite the way some people post on tumblr, this lifestyle whether you are a hotwife/husband or a hotwife/cuckold couple, is all about YOU. Any third/bull you decide to invite into your relationship is there for YOU, YOUR needs and wants and desires. Any time you get a bull who doesn’t want to listen, include you, follow your rules.. show him the door immediately. There will always be other men very grateful for the chance to spend a few hours with your wife trust me. Encourage her, reassure her that this is what YOU want. Have her reach out to other hotwives here on tumblr they will be the absolute best resource for her questions and concerns.
Use Porn — Gifs and clips to explore the boundaries of her sexuality.
This is gonna sound worst than it is but teasing out the inner hotwife in your woman will likely require a little bit of mild manipulation on your part. Remember, she has grown up in a judeo -Christian society that stigmatizes sex and neuters it of its pleasure and creativity. It’s a shame that men can walk around in public shirtless showing off washboard abs, hard pecs, and chiseled biceps, but if a woman puts on a form fitting dress and some heels she’s considered a whore. Don’t get me started. I digress.
My point with this lesson is porn will be one of the most important tools for you to use to transform your girl into a hotwife. In this lesson you will use porn ostensibly to ask her opinion about sex but covertly you will be leading her to exploring her sexual boundaries and more importantly causing her to explore them as well. You will also, and here is where the slight manipulation comes in, use porn to normalize sexual behavior that you like by suggesting everyone is doing it. For example by using gifs and clips that show anal sex, sloppy BJs, threesomes, etc., if done correctly overtime, you will not only pique her curiosity but in some cases work her into a frenzy wanting to try it. Be careful what you wish for because once she decides it’s something she really wants to experience she may do it with or without you!!
How is this done? It’s easy really. You should start to collect short clips and Gifs that demonstrate the kinds of sexual experiences that you want to open her up to. You should also collect photos of popular celebrity women, especially her favorites dressed provocatively. You will use the images you collect sporadically to not only learn what she likes and is open to do, but more importantly introduce her to new experiences and behaviors that go beyond her comfort zone. Your goal here is not to force her to do something she’s not comfortable with. Your goal here is to enlarge her comfort zone so that she is engaging in new behaviors willingly and passionately.
My ex used this technique on me. I never saw it coming and only realized it was part of a plan long after we had broken up. I had actually considered a threesome in my head because I have a hot girlfriend who told me she got drunk one night and did it with two guys. She said it was cool. I was intrigued but I didn’t tell her and I certainly would not have told my BF. It was a secret that I was too ashamed to admit or even think much about because I didn’t want to be considered a slut. However, after my boyfriend used this technique on me, not only was I admitting to him that I wanted two dicks but I was tellling him while sucking his cock and pumping a dildo in my pussy. It took time to get there but it started with him sending one gif of a hot girl getting spit roasted by two guys. He captioned with “whoa. This is hot”. He didn’t ask me to respond to it but by captioning it the way he did he removed all negative judgment by letting me know he liked it and it turned him on.
Over time he would occasionally send threesome gifs followed by questions that sometimes had nothing to do with the sex. He might refer to her clothing, shoes or hair I.e “I could see you with that haircut” or “she kinda looks like you”. He deftly put me in the scene. His comments caused me to imagine myself in her position. He also would make a lot of positive comments about the girl like “she’s a boss” or “she has a lot of confidence to do that” Jis comments were designed to make me see the woman in a positive light. I remember him asking me once what I thought it would feel like to have all that stimulation happening to my body at the same time. That question really resonated with me. His technique got me thinking more and more about threesomes. Not just thinking about them but believing that all confident, good looking girls were doing it. I began feeling left out and the thought of my hot friend being with two guys certainlybdidnt hurt my BF’s efforts. It wasn’t long before I opened up and started commenting back on the gifs and clips. I even kept a few I really liked and used them to masturbate to.
Porn is a versatile tool and can be used to advance your goal of making a hot wife in other ways too. I may address those uses in a future post. No go out and start dragging the inner slit out of your demure girl next door.
Today a Hotwife in the making asked for advice on how to be successful in the lifestyle and immediately my first suggestion was to establish strong and sustainable rules. As a couple our relationship is the absolute TOP priority, which is why our rules are very important to us. With that being said I figured I’d share our rules to help any other couples or singles who are looking to establish some of their own
1. Any potential playmate must be verified (video message etc) and agreed upon by both parties
2. We do not ever compromise on our standards, wants/needs or quality of playmates (quality over quantity).
3. No playing with someone that you have daily contact with (friend, colleague, gym partner etc)
4. No playing or messaging with a playmate if we aren’t in good standing (fighting, upset, sad etc) or you/us arent of sound mind (tired, drunk, high etc)
5. Don’t give too much personal information to playmates - family, friends, address, real name, workplace unless ABSOLUTELY certain they can be trusted.
6. Do not seek support of problems from playmates and/or talk about our relationship issues.
7. If a playmate starts to catch feelings or visa versa it’s over
8. The pace of daily communication with playmates should be managed by us. We should not feel obligated to respond to messages daily out of courtesy.
MEETING UP
9. Let your partner (and/or someone else) know where you are when you go meet someone or host someone alone (Location name, address etc)
10. Text them when you arrive at the meeting/playdate and when leaving the meeting/playdate (or when they leave)
11. Be aware at all times with NEW playmates. Don’t drink from opened alcohol or take anything that could compromise your thought process or awareness (i.e. getting too drunk or high)
12. No bondage, handcuffs, or restraints of any kind with NEW playmates. You need to be able to leave whenever you want.
13. No pain, degradation, humiliation or disrespectful name calling EVER!
14. Take lots of pictures and/or videos when playing solo for your partner to enjoy so they can feel like they are involved even though they aren’t there. **ONLY USE OUR PERSONAL PHONES TO TAKE THEM**
15. If a playmate is looking for an on-going relationship, they should have that relationship/friendship with the both of us. If the playmate has a problem with that then there is an increased risk that they won’t respect these rules or arrangements
As the summer passed by, I lived lots of things during my favorite season of the year, I enjoyed my birthday as every year and I celebrated for almost 3 weeks. I lived different experiences and met different people. I suffered because of love, but I also moved on a little bit. I don’t want to explain each of the things I lived this summer but I will make a summary for me and for you:
- I rode a motorbike with a hot guy, he was very interesting and a proffesor from my university too.
- My ex-boyfriend left everything clear to me, it was a bit hard but I needed that kind of honesty, he wants to stay in Spain, he loves his life there and he is happy.
- I met a guy who gives me mixed signals, he fills all of my expectations but maybe we are just friends, I have the whole year to find out.
- University starts in 10 days, and this will be a hard semester.
It was exactly on this day. My boyfriend and I spoke about what we’re going to do with our distance relationship situation as I’m not going to visit him until july of 2017. We agreed on breaking up but still talk to each other, in my point of view is a relationship without any commitments. I love him and I want him to come back to me when he is back, but hope is the only thing I have left.
I really miss him and I know that I want to be with him too, but distance makes everything really difficult, I am completely sure that we had the perfect relationship but distance fucked everything up. We get along really well but I feel as I’m going to fuck everything we have because of my needs.
Not as alone as I felt before, but my boyfriend is already gone. He went to study abroad for a year, but he just booked his ticket to go there, not to come back. I’m kinda worried about it, I know he doesn’t want to stay in our country his whole life and I don’t want that for me either, but I’m still too young to move away and he is not.
We talked about our relationship and agreed to continue together as he lives in Spain. I’m not worried about him cheating on me, I’m worried about that our distant relationship doesn’t work the way we both want to, he already had bad experiences with his ex-girlfriend (who studied abroad and cheated on him) so as he told me many times, when that happened it was hard for him, so I guess he won’t do the same to me, because he is an older man and he is suposed to be mature enough to think about his life decisions. I trust him.
I am 7 months with my boyfriend now, and he is leaving on August of this year to another continent. He is staying there for an entire year (he is 11 years older than me) and I am afraid, because we still dont have “The conversation”, I don’t know if he wants us to continue with a long distance relationship, or if he wants to break up. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, because time passes by really quickly and it is less than two months for his leaving.
I think he wants to break up, because its a whole year with a girl who is totally younger than him, he needs to be married in less than 5 years, because he will be over thirty, and I will be less than 25, what is he thinking? I want to stay with him, but my age is an obstacle right? maybe he is only with me because he has no one to be with? or is it my head creating random and horrible stuff to let him go?
It just seems so easy at movies, but it really isn’t. I hate the feeling of needing some kind of love or attention. Can I just be a strong and independent woman who doesn’t need a man? My christmas, new year’s and birthday wish would be exactly that.
I like dating many guys so I don’t get attached with any of them.
What I like about it? Well… Many guys leads to many personalities and each one fills me the way I want to. I think my point of view can be very materialistic or superficial but I have a guy for anything that I want to do, like hooking up, going to the cinema, drink wine, go to expensive restaurants, go to a bar, drink beer while watching tv, etc.
But these days are hard ones, as I have become too fat, I don’t have as many boys as I need to don’t get my feelings envolved. That’s what happened with “lion” (lets call him that way).
We met, we hooked up (not sex) and then 100% friends, we talked everyday until halloween because I felt him quite distant so I thought about giving him some days until he comes back. Guess what? Three days later a photo with his new girlfriend. My respects, I didnt know he played the game just as I like to do it, I didn’t expect that he took me by surprise and with no man.
I had a meeting with my schoolmates, there was so much food and drinks. I ate, and I ate A LOT. It was a baby shower, I think my stomach has a new baby because of all the food I ate.
Lately being drunk has brought to my life many disappointments and trouble. My friend with benefits and I had been fighting a lot because of this problem.
The fact is that being with him is only pleasant and exciting when I’m drunk or when I get to smoke weed. But everytime this happens before, he tells me he doesn’t like me when I’m like this. He adds comments like: “You just look so stupid” “You become unbearable everytime you smoke or get drunk”.
The thing is that the last time we saw each other I was COMPLETELY drunk, after a meeting party with my school mates. I can’t remember what happened that night, but he is really upset. He doesn’t want to know anything about me or even hear my name.
Summer is coming and I’m starting my new life as a “proana” so I just have to wait to be skinny for him to come back right?
I just feel the need to write about how I feel, because nothing is more clear to me as it is in this moment. Here and now.
I don’t know if what I felt was love, I can’t say it, I just feel the need to be with someone, as everyone is hoping or looking for, it’s just that they don’t admit it.
Is it too difficult to just realize you need to be with someone to feel fullfilled? I think we just need to be honest with each other. Even a whore wants to feel love or “wanted” by someone. Each one of us wants that feeling, each one of us wants to feel FULLFILLED.
I used to write my feelings right here, where people can judge me for the things I’ve done, how I look and the way I live my life. But if I have to write how I feel right now, I can say the word that describes me the most is EMPTINESS.
My ex got back from his trip one year, he doesn’t want anything to do with me, I just got back to the person I used to be, a girl who fills her emptiness with guys, but this time is worst, at least years ago I was a virgin.
Each guy I go out with ends up as a number on my list, and that number is what scares me the most, is what defines me. How many guys do you have to screw to be a slut? How many guys do you have to screw to be a good girl? Which is the number that makes you worth it.
A Valentine’s message to all woman out there #self love #selfesteem #love #valentines #life #beautiful #quote #woman #strong #quoteoftheday #inspiration #smart #smartwoman #confident #beauty #valentine #advise (at Sydney, Australia)
So you are knitting your first lace project, and you’ve got the wrong number of stitches and you’re stuck and you don’t want to frog. I’m here to help. But! My advice depends on you being able to read your stitches on the last patterned row (whether that’s every row or every other row depends on the pattern). If you don’t know how to do that, try knitting a swatch and putting in some decreases, double decreases, yarn overs, etc and then look at your work to locate those stitches and see how they look.
First advice: if your pattern is repeating, put a stitch marker in between each repeat. It’s possible these stitch markers will move, but you need to know which repeat(s) you’ve made a mistake on and this makes that much easier because you’ll realize you made a mistake when you get to the end of the repeat instead of the end of the row. I know not everyone does this, but I’ve been knitting 15 years and I see no shame in taking all the help you can get. All the advice here assumes you are doing this.
Hey, I know it’s been 2 year but I’m back and somewhat better. I’m not with my toxic ex anymore so hey that’s a plus. Hmm what else? Oh! I have a new boyfriend. Yeah, but he bores me. Plus he’s into some girl we went to school with. He’s OBSESSED with her. When I first met him all he did was talk about her and how beautiful she is. I’d have to admit she is beautiful but she’s not my type. But my boyfriend is in love with her.
Speaking of in love, my boyfriend has a friend. I’m kinda into him. And by kinda I mean I’m CAPTIVATED by him. After I met him something in my gut told me I was with the wrong friend. Ha! How crazy is that? This friend and I have so much in common. It’s like we are on the same mindwave. When I met him I had this connection with him that I can’t exactly explain. Lol but we we’re also high, and starred at each other for what felt like an hour. (maybe it was just 3 to 5 minutes) Anywho, we would..(we as in my boyfriend and I).. go out to the bars and we would invite him. He once touched my butt once. Not going to lie I kinda LOVED it even if it was an honest mistake.
I can’t get him out of my head and I don’t know why! I need to figure out what to do.
