ok can we agree that the WORST feeling is when you’re just sitting around consciously procrastinating and you’re just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you’re STILL procrastinating and you CANT STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you’re screaming but outwardly you’re just eating chips
You wake up one day with the ability to freeze time at will for as long as you want with no repercussions. What’s the first thing you do with your newfound powers?
Hey dog owners, be careful what you teach your dogs! You will never know the panic of peacefully listening to rain on a stormy night and being shocked out of it by desperate whining and scratching at your door at 1am. Before you can figure out what’s going on, your door slams open and really startles you, followed by a 30-pound lap dog that flops onto your clean laundry because he’s scared of rain. Moral of the story, dogs don’t need to know how to open doors!
soo… i know that the Dumpster Fire that is 2020 America isn’t done burning yet and i’m sure there’s still plenty of fuel left to fuel the fire… you know, given who & what is fueling it. regardless, i felt a need to crawl out of the hole that i’ve inadvertently found myself in this past year to reflect aloud and air a few…. grievances… ahead of the results of the 2020 election.
as the title suggests, i’m not okay, but i’m working on it. i hope you’re doing what you can to take care of yourself, too, and as always thank you for watching! stay safe.
long time no see, Tumblr. hope you’ve been fairing this Dumpster Fire of a year better than i have. :)
as an AFAB non-binary person with zero interest in “passing” as male, i never thought that i’d still be on HRT nearly 2 years after having started… and yet here we are.
the transition from being on HRT in Japan to being on HRT in America has been… interesting. having heard so much about it from American mass media and social media, i eventually turned to Planned Parenthood in order to pick-up on where i’d left off in Japan in terms of being on testosterone. what followed was…. well. a “Near-Religious Experience”, if ever there was one? at least, when compared to my experience in Japan.
amidst changes in injection types (intermuscular vs subcutaneous) and hormone dosages, i’ve also been navigating generalized reverse culture shock and differing perceptions of gender and gender-based societal norms between Japan & America…
tl;dr, a lot has happened since i last posted an update about being on HRT back in January. this video is my attempt at compartmentalizing & glossing over it all in 20 minutes with time points added in-video because long video is long.
having socially ‘transitioned’ my name years ago, it feels amazing to finally have my name reflected correctly on legal documents, identification, etc. not only that, "X” as a gender marker has recently become a possibility for me…!
except, you know. not really. because everything always has to be complicated for me. always. and America is fucking ridiculous.
in this video, i talk about my personal experience with socially changing my name, the process & timeline of legally changing my name in Nevada / Washingon state, and go on a tangentially relevant rant about why i personally detest the term “deadname”.
for those interested in looking into legally changing your name and/or gender marker, check out these amazing resources:
legal ‘transition’ as a non-binary person in America is a joke, but i managed to not be overly bitter about it in the video somehow. just know that there was and is much internal screaming regardless. :’)
– You live in a rural area. Every day cars appear out of nowhere, and you sit in a traffic jam on the way to work.
– The road you take all the time goes somewhere different now.
– All around you are new buildings. You have no memory of them being under construction.
– Everyone you meet is either young or old. When you see someone your own age, you question their presence.
– You always see people who say hello and call you by name. You have no memory of ever meeting them.
– One day, the clouds start rolling in. You can see the wind swiftly pushing them towards the hills.
– It finally gets warm. You tell yourself you’ll go to the beach the next day it’s sunny. The next time you notice the sun, snow has started to fall.
– You see a sea creature on sale at the seafood market. It is orange, bumpy, vaguely alien, and looks like no fish or shellfish you have ever heard of.
In honor of National Siblings Day, here’s a selection of Sundance Film Festival titles from filmmaker sibling duos. Sibling ingenuity and collaboration in film goes back to the beginnings of cinema with brothers Auguste and Louis Lumière, pioneers in motion picture technology, narrative, and distribution. Whether it’s inventing entire fantastical universes like the Wachowskis or borrowing dad’s VHS camera like the Duplass brothers, the spirit of sibling creativity lives on in independent film.
306 Hollywood Directed by Elan and Jonathan Bogarin 2018 Sundance Film Festival
Do objects retain a spark of life from their owner after that person dies? This question catapults a dynamic brother-sister filmmaking duo on an epic odyssey to excavate their deceased grandma Annette’s unassuming Newark home of 71 years. Toothbrushes, tax documents, three vacuum cleaners—her motley collection of stuff becomes a universe unto itself, springing to life in the cinematic playground of this innovative documentary.
The Puffy Chair Written by Jay and Mark Duplass 2005 Sundance Film Festival
Josh has found a great present for his father’s birthday: a puffy chair exactly like the one his dad used to have. He just has to pick it up from the eBay seller and drive it over for the big surprise, staying over at his brother’s house on the way.
Bound Directed/Written by Lana and Lilly Wachowski 1996 Sundance Film Festival
Corky, an ex-con, who is fixing up an apartment in a high-class building, played with wonderful tongue-in-cheek flair and toughness by Gina Gershon, falls for Violet, the sexy moll of a Mafia money launderer who lives next door. Violet, played equally impeccably by Jennifer Tilly as the coquettish, “dumb” brunette, is also attracted to Corky, and once they’ve connected, both literally and figuratively, they concoct a plan to steal two million dollars.
This is My Life Written by Nora and Delia Ephron 1992 Sundance Film Festival
Dottie Ingalls works in the cosmetics department at Macy’s on Queens Boulevard and lives with her two daughters, sixteen-year-old Erica and ten-year-old Opal, and her Aunt Harriet in a row house in Ozone Park. Dottie’s dream is to become a performer, and the sudden death of Aunt Harriet gives her the nest egg to move to Manhattan and plunge into the late-night comedy scene. Meanwhile her daughters must adapt—to new schools, new friends, and most important, to their mother’s immediate success.
Blood Simple Written by Joel and Ethan Coen 1985 Sundance Film Festival
A great deal of dying is done in Blood Simple and none of it done right. The plot concerns four people—a bar owner, his wife, the bartender with whom the wife runs off, and the unscrupulous and scuzzy private detective hired by the forlorn husband to kill the runaway couple.
1. Film still courtesy of 306 Hollywood | Photo by Elan and Jonathan Bogarin; 2. Film still courtesy of The Puffy Chair; 3. Film still courtesy of Gramercy Pictures | Photo by Randy Tepper; 4. Film still courtesy of 20th Century Fox | Photo by Kerry Hayes; 5. Film still courtesy of USA Films.
