#transmed
unpopular opinion but we should make hrt and surgery easier to get, not harder. informed consent should be an option for all fully-informed adults and it really doesn’t matterthat a handful of trendy cis people might take advantage of that and transition when they don’t need to.
like sorry but i’ll prioritize giving trans people access to the healthcare they need over protecting stupid people from their own bad decisions any day. i can’t believe that’s even a question.
i can honestly say with absolute certainty that i’d be dead without informed consent and like seriously, i can’t fathom why so many of y’all wanna shoot yourselves in the foot in the name of “protecting” tucutes from getting dysphoria.
like some of you really care more about the tucutes you claim to dislike than you care about yourselves and your trans siblings and it really shows. it also sucks.
unpopular opinion but we should make hrt and surgery easier to get, not harder. informed consent should be an option for all fully-informed adults and it really doesn’t matterthat a handful of trendy cis people might take advantage of that and transition when they don’t need to.
like sorry but i’ll prioritize giving trans people access to the healthcare they need over protecting stupid people from their own bad decisions any day. i can’t believe that’s even a question.
like if your bio has ‘truscum don’t interact’ in it but you go out of your way to interact with truscum first then like…i Really Don’t Know What to Tell You.
I’ll never understand the tucute/mogai/inclusionist obsession with intentionally going into transmed/anti-mogai/exclusuonist tags just to flip their shit at the people in those tags.
like if you have no patience for differing opinions then like…stay out of those tags? don’t intentionally look for posts that you already know are going to piss you off? that just doesn’t seem rational or healthy at all.
honestly I take for granted the fact that trans and ace discourse isn’t more prevalent in the ‘real world’ like I’m not naive enough to think it’s isolated to just this hellsite but also the average person understands that you need dysphoria to be transgender and that asexuality isn’t ~kweer~ and i don’t think anyone truly appreciates the fact that coffee shops aren’t plastered with “truscum don’t interact” and very few people will actually harass or hate you for saying that asexuals aren’t lgbt.
it might not just be a 'tumblr problem’ but thank god that it’s also not a 'real life’ problem because I might actually hang myself if I had to deal with lgbt-phobia from conservative assholes and 'allies’ alike.
and like honestly you all knowthat when someone says “you need dysphoria to be trans” they mean “you need genderdysphoria to be trans.” trying to claim that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans because “dysphoria” means “a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied” is just…stupid.
use your context clues. holy hell. do you do the same thing when someone with an eating disorder claims to have “anorexia” when what they’re referring to is ~actually~ called anorexia nervosa? no, because you’re an intelligent human being capable of basic reading comprehension and you know exactly what that person meant. literally nobody is saying that you need to be “very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied” to be trans. they’re saying you need a disconnect between your birth sex and your gender identity. you know that.
how do you handle concepts like lesbians (who could also be people from the island of lesbos) or homophobia (which could also be the fear of things that are the same)? how do you handle homonyms and homophones? do you shit your pants every time someone uses an acronym with multiple meanings?
“Use your context clues” you say but then clearly don’t use context clues to realise that if dysphoria means general discomfort then clearly gender dysphoria would mean discomfort with your agab. Which, surprise surprise is exactly how the dsmv describes gender dysphoria as!
The disconnect between your agab and you is called gender incongruence
nope! understandable and valid mistake, though; lots of words or phrases sound like they absolutely should mean one thing when they actually mean something slightly different. gender dysphoria is“gender incongruence.”
- A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
- A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
- A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
- A strong desire to be of the other gender
- A strong desire to be treated as the other gender
- A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender
and there’s a separate list of criteria for minors, but it mainly relies on sexist stereotypes (in typical dsm fashion) and also says nothing about “dysphoria” in the broader sense of the term.
you only have to hit two or more of those, too, not the whole list.
the disconnect between your assigned sex at birth and your gender identity is called gender dysphoria. it’s what makes a trans person trans.
and like honestly you all knowthat when someone says “you need dysphoria to be trans” they mean “you need genderdysphoria to be trans.” trying to claim that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans because “dysphoria” means “a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied” is just…stupid.
use your context clues. holy hell. do you do the same thing when someone with an eating disorder claims to have “anorexia” when what they’re referring to is ~actually~ called anorexia nervosa? no, because you’re an intelligent human being capable of basic reading comprehension and you know exactly what that person meant. literally nobody is saying that you need to be “very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied” to be trans. they’re saying you need a disconnect between your birth sex and your gender identity. you know that.
how do you handle concepts like lesbians (who could also be people from the island of lesbos) or homophobia (which could also be the fear of things that are the same)? how do you handle homonyms and homophones? do you shit your pants every time someone uses an acronym with multiple meanings?
honestly i’m convinced that transtrenders who are “faking it for attention” or “pretending to be trans” are far and few between and the majority of the “you don’t need dysphoria to be trans” discourse just stems from people genuinely thinking that gender dysphoria only means suffering, self-hatred, severe physical/body dysphoria, and the intent to medically transition (which it doesn’t).
like i have a friend who, when it came up in conversation once, said that he believed you can be trans without dysphoria. his reason for thinking so was that he has a trans friend (post top surgery, a few years on t) who (inb4 someone tries to claim quotation marks are indicative of sarcasm or disbelief, i’m literally just quoting him) “loves his body.”
so we’ve got two problems here. one, dysphoria doesn’t mean hating your body. yeah there’s an overlap—a lot of trans people dohate their bodies—but it’s not a requirement to hate yourself. you just need dysphoria of some kind. two, conflating post-dysphoric with non-dysphoric. of course someone who’s transitioned (either medically or socially) is going to have less dysphoria or even none. that’s the whole point of transitioning: it’s how you alleviate gender dysphoria. the alternative is conversion therapy, and i don’t think i need to explain why that’s bad or ineffective.
and this was an actual IRL friend, not some random stranger on tumblr with their fingers in their ears, so we actually had a civil conversation about it instead of suicide baiting, calling each other clowns, shitposting and then blocking each other. I elaborated on my above points. you can have social dysphoria but little or no physical dysphoria. you can have moderate to severe dysphoria about your secondary sex characteristics and it doesn’t necessarily mean “hating your body.” someone who has already transitioned can be “non-dysphoric” because their dysphoria lessened or completely went away after transitioning. it’s not the same thing as having never been dysphoric—ie being cis.
and that was the end of that debate because we were both in agreement that you need gender dysphoria in order to be trans. you need a disconnect between your birth sex and the gender you [are/identify as/however I word this yall are gonna complain so just take your pick] in order to be transgender. that’s literally it. you don’t need to hate yourself, your existence doesn’t need to be constant suffering, you don’t need to medically transition, you don’t need to be gender conforming, you don’t have to “look or act a certain way.” you literally just need gender dysphoria.
like half of yall don’t actually think you can be trans without gender dysphoria, you’re just choosing to skew the meaning of words in order to stir up drama.
honestly i’m convinced that transtrenders who are “faking it for attention” or “pretending to be trans” are far and few between and the majority of the “you don’t need dysphoria to be trans” discourse just stems from people genuinely thinking that gender dysphoria only means suffering, self-hatred, severe physical/body dysphoria, and the intent to medically transition (which it doesn’t).
if tucutes actually had dysphoria (or even just an ounce of empathy and human decency) then they’d understand why making fun of a trans guy for having big lips, calling a trans woman ugly as fuck, or just generally mocking and belittling trans people (or anyone, for that matter) for their appearance is a really shitty thing to do. just saying.
if gender was a social construct then trans people wouldn’t exist! if words and in particular pronouns weren’t gendered then there’d be no such thing as misgendering! tucute rhetoric is just transphobia masquerading as inclusivity and acceptance!
tucutes: only trans people are allowed to have opinions on trans discourse.
also tucutes: trans people who don’t agree with me on trans discourse are transphobic.
Tw: antisemitism, antisemitic dogwhistles
So, to any inclus, exclus/transmeds, block magic/dayz for antisemitism. Do not interact with or harass or send threats to him though. Please.
So let’s start from the beginning to understand the situation. magic/dayz posted this:
To which I sent this ask that he replied to (but didn’t add my tag because I figured maybe they’d listen if I didn’t use my openly inclus main blog):
Ok, ok. I figured this could be a kid who just doesn’t understand why this is not good. I wasn’t able to screenshot my original reply to him from the notes because he blocked me immediately after sending me this.
(@rittz is an exclusionist who basically said that the anon I sent was right about the antisemitism)
But what I said in replies was basically, antisemitism is deeply rooted and often heavily influences media. Even if the people making a show don’t intentionally do something antisemitic, this is so deeply rooted that people often make antisemitic caricatures without fully realizing that they’ve done it. That doesn’t make it any less antisemitic. I remember using Mother Gothel from the Tangled movie’s design as an example because it ticks a lot of boxes.
I was upset and frustrated so I sent this anon that was more aggressive than I meant it to be and tagged it this time:
And his response was this:
And after that came this because I was upset that he kept brushing off a Jewish person telling him he was saying something antisemitic:
And there we go. I think I explained things pretty well in the asks about whats bad and why even if they were much more aggressive and emotional that I’d have liked.
So again. Block, don’t interact or harass.
Yall realize that you don’t have to agree with every single thing someone says, right? You can be friends with people that have different opinions. There’s no need to block people over stupid shit like you being a truscum and them being a tucute and vice versa. We can hear each other out and respect our opinions and continue to coexist normally. Why do you want to limit yourself to people that think exactly like you all the time? You wanna live in an echo chamber?
Y'all do realize the more you call trans kids “transtrenders” and that they’re “faking it” the more parents aren’t gonna support even Actually Real Dysphoric Trans People, right?
i actually experienced this last summer.
my mom is friends with this trans woman, who was really sweet and she was super cool, but then i tried to come out after my mom expressed how much she liked her trans friend and how amazing she is. i told my mom about my crippling chest dysphoria and how much i’d love to be called by he/him pronouns and my preferred name. i told her about how i’ve always felt this way and i’ve known since eighth grade.
well the thing is, her friend is a transmed.
my mom is an uninformed person on trans issues, because she didn’t really care about them until recently. she took resources from her transmed friend and it ruined my life. she went off about how i’m not really trans because i didn’t come out sooner, i have piercings, my hair is always a crazy color, i still like girly things, and my glasses are weird. she kept yelling about how i didn’t have dysphoria before, so i obviously have the wrong definition. she told me if i was trans it would’ve been diagnosed by my therapist already, and it was just a cult bandwagon phase. i was locked away from the outside world for a month.
when my next year of high school rolled around, i was out as trans. my partner provided me with a binder and all was well. i came out to all my peers at the beginning and about halfway through the school year to my teachers. it was quiet, under the table. i told them my mom didn’t know and under our school guidelines, they were not allowed to tell my mom that sort of thing. well, one of my teachers ended up being lgbtphobic and i didn’t know, and announced to the class that she didn’t “agree with the lifestyle” and that “gay marriage isn’t what god wanted.” my mom got an email that day about me being out as trans at school. i wonder who could’ve sent it?
my mom blew up. she was sending me treat after threat because i was a trender, all i did was lie for attention, that i chose to be trans because it was trendy and that real trans people wouldn’t flaunt their transness. of course, she got these resources from her transmed friend. she pulled me out of public school and cut my contact with the outside world for three whole months. i didn’t get back into school until february.
DO NOT TELL ME THAT PEOPLE WITH DIFFERING OPINIONS ISNT TRANSPHOBIC AND HARMFUL BECAUSE EVEN AS A DYSPHORIC TRANS PERSON, TRANSMEDICALISM HAS RUINED MY HOME, MY FAMILY, AND MY LIFE. I WILL NOT STAND FOR TRANSMEDS OR PEOPLE WHO ALLOW THEIR INTERACTION. THEY ARE EXTREMELY HARMFUL AND NEED TO BE STOPPED BEFORE MORE LIVES ARE RUINED.
I Have a point for transmeds to consider:
If Every Single Non-Dysphoric Person Turned Out To Be Cis
it wouldn’t matter. Even if all of them turned out to just be experimenting, or trying it for attention or any of your worst fears - it would not matter. All this does is normalise the trans experience. It brings awareness, it makes it acceptable for people to “test the waters” and (if you were right and they arent trans) that allows dysphoric trans people who’ve repressed their dysphoria to ‘try it’ too.
The perks of accepting nondysphoric trans people far outweigh any Potential detriment.
I feel like the rise of fear and unhappiness about this is directly linked to awareness of detransitioned people and the long wait time at GIC’s. We should not hate de-transitioned people, more often than not they made a mistake and experienced dysphoria as a result and thats a horrible thing we should empathise with. The long wait times are bad.
I’ve said before, in the UK GIC’s are not psychological places or support groups. They are for medical transition only and wont really help with legal paperwork either. If you only want to socially transition do not get referred to a GIC here - hit up some support networks (like TMSA-UK). That said it is not non-dysphoric trans people or even people who are mistaken about their gender identity that are the problem. Its lack of funding and lack of doctors - and thats something that needs to be fixed.
Nothing will ever be as funny as someone saying I’m a transmed because my parents were conservative because they’re so fucking liberal LMAOOOO. They deadass told me if I ever wanted to rebel I’d have to be a conservative catholic.
The greatest trick the right ever pulled was convincing queer people that other queer people are the enemy
What a load of bullshit lmao
Other LGBT people can absolutely be “the enemy”. Cis LGB people can be transphobic, non-bisexuals can be biphobic, non-lesbians can be lesbophobic etc.
Am I supposed to ignore those people just because they’re in my community? Am I supposed to bite my tongue when I see other LGBT people telling me that bisexuals are diseased whores, that trans people are mentally ill, that lesbians are all disgusting man haters or that gay men are a plague because “other LGBT people are not the enemy”?
Also, what on earth is even “the right”? What “right”? Which party? Of which country? Its ridiculous to use a generic “right” as a scapegoat because you don’t want to acknowledge that LGBT people can be bigoted other LGBT people.
Solidarity without holding your own community accountable is absolutely pointless, as its pointless to blame a generic group of bad guys for the actions of people within your community.
I wanna add that not only can LGBT people be bigoted towards each other, you can also be bigoted towards people like yourself. If bullies who are gay can be homophobic towards, and harass, their openly gay peers, is it such a stretch to point out that trans people can say transphobic things? That bisexuals, particularly those who are in denial of being bisexual, can spread biphobic misinformation? what about lesbian TERFs, that regularly spew lesbophobic rhetoric, claim that all lesbians have the same preferences, and erase trans lesbians?
Ever heard of the phrase “too gay to be straight, too straight to be gay” OP? bc that’s a sentiment echoed by bisexuals who feel as though they are “too gay” to fit in with their straight peers while being simultaneously being “too straight” to fit in with their gay peers (i.e., to exist in LGBT spaces, and this becomes magnified if they are dating an opposite-sex partner).
The LGBT community may be full of rainbows, but it sure as hell isn’t full of fucking sunshine!
Just because two people are lgbt doesn’t make them friends. It doesn’t mean they respect each other. lgbt people can 100% still be bigots.
Spicy hot takes ladies
• you can’t be a lesbian and use he/him pronouns outside of roleplay in bed, same for ‘she/her gays’
• neopronouns are embarassing
• most transtrenders are afab and that is because of mysoginy and/or because they’re cringy fujoshis
• non-binary is a thing
• you NEED dysphoria to be trans
• cishet Asexuals are not 100% LGBT
• Pan = Bi
• Kinning is cringy and Kinphobia isn’t real
• Furries, Pedophiles and rapists do NOT belong in the LGBT community
• the whole picrew debate is stupid. Put japanese instructions on a japanese website wtf
Honestly, anyone who uses they/them and also binary pronouns are probably just straight up trans/cis.
If you are fine with your AGAB pronouns as well as they/them, you’re probably just cis.
If you’re fine with the pronouns opposite of your AGAB as well as they/them, you’re probably just trans.
Being fine with they/them in general doesn’t mean you are nonbinary. It just makes you normal.
(This post does not include people who only use they/them pronouns)
You put it into words.
Also cis people who say they go by any pronouns. It’s not that you go by any pronouns, it’s that you don’t experience dysphoria in being misgendered the way trans people do. My friend is a cis man but he dresses pretty neutral and has incredibly long hair so he often gets called a lady and such. It doesn’t bother him the way it does our other guy friend, who’s trans. He’s similar, his hairs on the longer side (nowhere near the other one’s tho) and he can be kinda feminine but when he gets misgendered? It hurts. Because he’s not cis.
no offence but literally no one gives a fuck if you don’t feel included, sometimes certain spaces need to practice exclusion, this is not oppression and if it makes you feel invalidated then that’s a personal problem you must deal with
Full offense but some spaces are actively improved by excluding some of y’all
Some spaces need to be exclusive in order for them to be safe spaces because not every space is going to be safe for every single person. it’s ok to not be included in certain spaces. It’s not the end of the world. There are other spaces you can go to that are gonna be more tailored for you. Go find those instead of trying to change current ones to expand and become less effective for the people currently using those spaces.
It’s exclusive to state that cishet LGBTphobes aren’t allowed in LGBT clubs and safe spaces when their intentions are to harass and bully those attending. Exclusive =/= wrong
