allison: i don’t dress to impress. i dress to depress. i want to look so good people hate themselves.

klaus, quietly: spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine

five:

klaus, steadily building volume: shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight

five:

klaus, screaming at the top of his lungs: SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SPEAK WITH SUCH A SCREECH YOU’LL SHAKE AND SHUDDER IN SURPRISE WHEN YOU HEAR THESE ZOMBIES SHRI-

five: SHUT THE FUCK UP

ben: is there a word that a mix between sad and mad?

five: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable-

klaus:SMAD

*debating*

luther: *finishes argument*

reginald: your turn, number two.

diego: yeah, so everything he just said is bullshit

grace: when you answer the phone, what do you say

diego: what up?

klaus: who dis be?

five: no, he’s dead. this is his son.

allison: i think luther is in trouble.

diego: alright. struggling to give a fuck, if i’m being honest.

diego: who ate all the powdered donuts

allison, staring at klaus: i think i might have an idea

klaus, covered in white powder: it wasn’t me!

diego: you’re literally covered in the powder!

klaus: …. it’s cocaine

~ Later ~

diego: oh, the donuts were in the fridge.

diego:

diego:

diego:KLAUS

klaus, in bed, half asleep:*sneezes*

ben, from under the bed: bless you

klaus:….satan?

Vanya: Whats the best way to diss an adult

Diego: O K B O O M E R

Vanya: what if they’re not a boomer though

Klaus: *hits blunt* Boomer isn’t an age it’s a state of mind

The apocalypse: *is about to come*

Reggie:

Klaus: I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy

Klaus: And my heart has been severely damaged

Klaus: *trying to summon Dave’s ghost* so Dave if you’re out there

YoungLuther: Do you even exercise

Young Klaus: I’m a runner

Young Luther:Really?

Young Klaus: Yeah, I run late, run from my problems, and run my mouth *finger guns*

Klaus: What’re you doing Five

Five: *writing in a journal* Making a hit list of everybody taller than me

Klaus: Cool! Am I on it

Five: Dont worry you’re sixth on it

Allison: Klaus you need to stop

Klaus: *rubbing glitter from the floor onto his face* BuT.. I mUsT b E FabUlOus

Diego: Who needs friends? I’ve got knives!!

Diego: *reaches for knife*

Diego:I…

Diego: i ran out of knives

Klaus:His name was Dave

Diego:

Klaus on his time in Vietnam and his childhood:

Interviewer: Would you say that’s you’re independent?

Luther: *looks at Reginald*

Reginald:*nods*

Luther: Yes, I’d say so

Klaus in a horror movie

*phone rings*

Klaus: *picks it up* Hello?

Murderer: I see you

Klaus:

Murderer:

Klaus:

Murderer:

Klaus: Do I look good?

Leonard: *gets down on one knee in front of vanya*

Allison: Omg it’s finally happening

Leonard: *falls over*

Allison: The poison is kicking in