#incorrect marvel quotes
{Loki pauses violently beating up the assassins who tried to hurt Peter}
Loki(holding out his knife to Peter): I’m sorry little Spiderling, would you like to have a stab at them? :)
Peter: No, I’m good Mr Loki thank you. :)
{Loki battle crying proceeds to beat the ever loving tar out of the assassins while their screams of agony echo in the background}
Loki: I’m so angry at you right now. Nothing will make me feel better.
Thor:
Loki:Don’t
Thor: Spiderling come here
Peter: Hi Mr Loki! :D
Loki, trying to hide his smile:Darn
Peter: Mr Loki I need your help!
Loki: What is ever the matter Spiderling?
Peter: Listen, I…I need a good lie.
Loki: Hm… How about feedom. (Peter looks confused) Freedom is life’s great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart, you will know…
Peter: No..nonono…I need a good lie to explain why I wasn’t at the decathlon meeting today.
Loki: Spiderling your a terrible liar.
Peter: Wha? No I’m not!
Loki: Oh really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the cafe we went to, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?
Peter: …Somebody opened the door…to the cafe … And a … Raccoon, came running in and went straight for your muffin I said “Hey! Don’t eat that! That’s Mr Loki’s!” and he said …….. He said “Peter, you stink at lying”. What am I going to do?
Loki(trying not to laugh): Don’t fret, Spiderling. We’ll come up with a good lie. I’ll even help you practice it.
Peter: Oh that’d be great. Thank you Mr Loki.
Peter Parker: Mr. Loki can you hit him with your knife?
Loki: …I believe the correct term is stab.
Loki Explaining His Friendship with Peter Parker to the Avengers
Loki: Thor, I didn’t understand why you cared so much about these dumb Midgardians until I befriend a Midgardian myself
Loki:(Picks up Peter and holds him close to his chest)
Peter::D
Loki: I’ve only known Peter Parker for a day and a half (takes out knife and waves it threatingly) BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HIM I WOULD KILL EVERYONE IN THIS REALM AND THEN MYSELF
Peter:O_O
Other Avengers:Same
[Peter Parker meeting Frigga For The First Time]
Peter Parker (whispering): Your mom’s awesome.
Loki (smug) : Of course, where do you think I got it from.
Loki Teaching Peter Parker How to Drive
Loki: You’re doing great Spiderling.
Peter Parker, worried: I think I just ran over Mr Thor.
Loki: Consider it a lesson in humility for him.
Loki: Let’s keep driving.
Loki:*picks up Peter Parker* Explain to me why you’re so cute.
Peter Parker::3
Loki:Interesting…
Loki:*smashes a window* Vandalism is wrong Peter.
Peter Parker:Okay.
Watching Steve and Tony Argue
Peter Parker: This is bad.
Loki: I know.
Loki: I wish we had popcorn.
Peter Parker, after explaining his plan: You think that this is a bad idea.
Loki, smirking: Without a doubt.
Peter Parker: Then why are you smiling?
Loki: Because bad ideas are my favorite kind.
Loki After Joining the Avengers
Loki: I think I’m getting better at this! I didn’t even stab that mortal!
Peter Parker, exited for Loki: Yeah, that was so awesome Mr Loki! We’re so proud of you!
Loki, smug: No Stabbing Tuesdays, a new tradition!
Peter Parker: Yeah! Woo Hoo! :D (high fives Loki)
_________________________________________
Tony:… Should I be happy they’re getting along or concerned?
Thor:Both
Loki: *laying face-down on the bed*
Peter Parker: Hey Mr Loki, are you okay?
Loki: *muffled* I just need a bit of a break from everything…
Loki: Including existing
Peter Parker: Alright, if that’s what you want.
Peter Parker: *plops face-down on the sofa next to Loki’s bed*
Loki: *looks up in confusion* What are you doing?
Peter Parker: *looks up at Loki* I’m taking a break from existing with you :)
Loki: *smiling softly* Thank you Spiderling :)
[Both of them lay face down in silence until Loki feels better]
Peter Parker: [comes home looking sad]
Loki: I WILL DESTROY EVERY ASPECT OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE AND BURN WHATEVER REMAINS TO ASH IN ORDER TO BE SURE I ERADICATED WHATEVER HURT YOU…
Peter Parker: Can… I have a hug?
Loki, already hugging Peter: Oh, of course.
Peter Parker: Why is life so hard, Mr Loki?
Loki, comforting Peter: Don’t worry Spiderling, I know that this all seems unfair now.
Loki: But someday when you’re older and wiser, you’ll be able to look back on all this…
Loki: And get revenge
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you come to school with me tomorrow?
Loki: Why? What happened?
Peter Parker: I have an assignment to bring something important to me to school and I was hoping if you’ll go.
Loki, happily crying and hugging Peter: You’re important to me too Spiderchild!
Thor: Loki, can you…?
Loki:No
Thor: *walks out of the room and walks back in with Peter*
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you…? :D
Loki: Yes, of course sweet Spiderchild :)
Thor, sighing : … Really, Brother?
Loki: We’ll what did you expect, Thor?
Loki: How can I possibly say no to the Spiderchild’s adorable face!?
Peter Parker:*whimpering*
Loki: What happened!? Who did this to you!?
Peter Parker: Oh it’s nothing, Mr Loki. I just stubbed my toe on the door-
Loki: *already has a chainsaw* Which door?
Loki: Spiderling, what did I tell you about lying?
Peter Parker: To do it more often.
Loki: Exactly! I’m so proud of you!
Peter Parker, walking with Loki at the zoo: Let’s do something fun together, Mr Loki!
Loki, smiling: Very well, lead the way.
Peter Parker : Oh! How about we make some balloon animals?
Loki: Alright, but aren’t you scared of balloons?
Peter Parker : Pfft…no.Why would I be scared of balloons? I’ve fought villains who tried to kill me. These are nothing.
Peter Parker : *tries to tie balloon*
Peter Parker : *balloon pops*
Peter Parker : *unholy screaming*
Peter Parker : *clutches Loki’s arm*
Loki:
Loki, patting Peter on the head comfortingly: Let’s go look at the snakes.
[Loki ended up burning down the balloon stall while Peter was not looking]
