#incorrect musical quotes
(25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee)
Schwarzy:On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Barfée:In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Olive?
Olive: Probably “road work ahead”.
Marcy Parks: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
(Newsies)
Jack: I hate businessmen. A whole army of gray-suited Brads and Chads trying to suck my soul and redeem it for frequent flier miles.
(Heathers)
Veronica: Where is Heather Chandler.
JD: She drank my last slushie, so I killed her. Do you think that was wrong?
(Be More Chill)
What? I don’t gossip. Maybe sometimes I find out things, or I hear something and pass that information on. You know, kind of like a public service.
- Everyone during The Telephone Hour
(Beetlejuice)
*during Halloween*
Barbara: Adam, we may need more candy…
Adam: What? But there’s only been like four kids.
Barbara: Yeah, but one of them told me she loved me so I gave her everything.
(Hadestown)
Orpheus: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Eurydice: I wake up at 4:30am
Orpheus:
Orpheus: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
(Catch Me If You Can)
Another officer: Are you friends with this criminal?
Hanratty: No, not really
Frank jr: Absolutely. Best friends.
Hanratty: It’s a layered relationship
(Falsettos)
Mendel: So, what’s it like being in a relationship with Whizzer?
Marvin: Once I asked him for a glass of water when he was pissed at me, so he handed me a glass of ice and said, “wait”.
(Be More Chill)
Rich: I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding is internal; that’s where the bloood is supposed to be!
(The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)
Bill: You should try to live life to the fullest! Cherish every moment of it, because you only get one life so it’s best to live it the best way you can!
Paul: There are only two reasons I live. 1) I was born, and 2) I haven’t died yet
(West Side Story)
Maria: Did you have to stab Nando??
Tony: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said.
Maria: What did he say?
Tony: “What are you gonna do, stab me?”
Maria:
(SiX)
Howard: A good romance starts with a true friendship!
Boleyn: And a bad romance starts with ra ra ra-a-a ro ma ro ma ma~
(Be More Chill)
*When The Squip revealed that he wanted to take over the world, not just to help Jeremy*
Jeremy:You played me like a fiddle!
The Squip: Oh no, fiddles are hard to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.
(Heathers)
Veronica: Be the change you want to see in the world, but be like, kind of shitty and passive aggressive about it
(The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)
The zombies: Don’t you want to be happy?
Paul: I don’t know, what’s it like?
(Be More Chill)
Michael: do you seriously believe that having popularity automatically makes you happier?
Jeremy: no, but it doesn’t automatically depress me either
(Spongebob Squarepants)
Spongebob: What makes you angry?
Pirate: When someone steals my p
(Holy Musical B@tman)
Alfred: Could you be sensible for once in your life?
Batman: I resent the implication that I am alive
Alfred: You are alive.
Batman: only on the outside
The Squip: Talk. less.
Jeremy:What?
The Squip: Smile more.
Grover to Percy: everyone hates their parents
Don’t be ashamed,
You’ll grow up
You’ll come through
You’ll have kids
And they’ll hate you too
