What on gods green earth has given people the right to treat nurses like they’re literal servants and have no voice of their own? I was told this morning by a patient that they hoped I died on the way home in a car accident. You know why? The department had Pepsi instead of Doctor Pepper and I told the patient she needed to stay in her room to get her prescribed antibiotics instead of going to the cafeteria. I didn’t have a rolling pole, I couldn’t send anyone to get a doctor pepper and I had 5 other patients. In the ER mind you, so I couldn’t go do it myself. But I’m literally expected to just turn the other cheek and let her yell at me. She spewed this kind of vitriol for 2 hours and when I finally walked out of the room and accidentally slammed the door it got even worse. And yet I can’t say anything back? No other profession is like that. This job has made me hate people, and I’ve lost all sympathy I had for anyone. People used to tell me I was too nice, and that I was too kind hearted to be an er nurse. Let me tell you what, this job kills your soul.
All I’m saying is if we don’t get a Malex “I love you” this season from BOTH of them, I’m calling my injury attorney and suing Roswell NMs writers for pain and suffering
“And I did not realize how hard it is to forget you. Forget the friendship we had, the memories we shared. The laughter that rang through the dark nights and sunny mornings. The promises we made to stay together forever. But I guess I was justthe sea for you, while you were my anchor.”
- g.d (best friend break ups hurt more than anything)
Modern day Animal rights activists, but for mythical creatures. What breeds of dragon are they against? Where would they take mistreated unicorns? How are they stopping Thunderbird poachers? Are they more politically, or action oriented?
So I love Yamato/Tenzo and idk why but my favorite non-canon way to doodle him is with long hair.
Like there is something about it (IMO) that would’ve been such an interesting look for him to have revisited as an adult. And no, not because of “hashirama vibes” or anything.
But I just imagine it being something that would bring a certain wholesome “femininity” to him, like when he was young, while fluidly meshing with the natural “masculinity” of his adult body type and pragmatic demeanor. The idea just looks and feels so badass in my head. Like a pretty but stern vibe.
And I’ve always kind of HC’d that Yamato is fairly confident in his sexuality when he needs to be (like when playing particular rolls in possible ANBU missions) and that he would be deceptively dominant. So the addition of his long hair would paint him into something more “beautifully masculine” that I think fits his character.
also as a kakayama shipper I absolutely love the idea of Kakashi being either completely flustered by or enamored with the sight of an adult haired Tenzo, as well as feeling great nostalgia while realizing that Yams really went from being and awkward twink to sassy tree twunk which makes me laugh
Anyway it’s like 2 in the morning and my brain won’t shut off so here is some long-haired Yam art⬇️
at work, feeling very … i don’t know. sad? wistful?
low energy.
got approximately 2 hours of sleep.
laid down at 6, didn’t manage to fall asleep until past 10
woke up with a bad anxiety attack at around midnight, didn’t want to bother anyone so worked through it myself. was so hard to breathe. been awake since.
sitting here at my desk and just, I don’t know.
weather is cloudy and muggy. reminds me of my dog Charlie. he would have been so happy that warmer weather was here; he hated the cold. I used to have to carry him outside in the winter. he would have loved it now, where me and him could have sat outside and just basked in the warmth.
i miss him.
i was never second to him.
i was never an afterthought to him.
he was so excited to see me when I’d come home, whether I’d been gone 5 minutes or 5 hours.
i miss him.
i don’t like this feeling.
it’s stings but it’s blank at the same time.
it’s a low feeling like being at the bottom of the ocean and watching everyone happy and swimming above you, and you want to join them but you know that you’d only be bothering them, they’d only pretend to be happy to see you but you know inside they’d just be annoyed.
so you keep to yourself at the bottom of the ocean and smile when people come near and say polite things to the people who stop to talk to you on their way to somewhere else but you don’t try to leave.
because the bottom is where you belong.
i don’t know.
feel like I have no energy and everything is just making noise around me and none of it matters.
lonely.
wake up alone, go to sleep alone, spend all day around people that make me feel alone.
the reason I put so much of this stuff on my blog is because sometimes I feel like if I don’t get it out, if I don’t purge it, I’ll implode.
head hurts.
hungry.
tired.
so, so tired.
waited so long for winter to end.
it ended.
it ended and someone poured a bucket of water on my dead roots and put me in the sun but it’s like it’s too late because the roots aren’t repairable?
or are they?
unregulated moods and it’s hard for my brain to differentiate between serious and “this too shall pass”.
well whatever this is I hope it passes soon.
got so much work done this week and it’s about to be the weekend but I’ll just be sitting in my room alone anyway so it’s like, i don’t know.
work at a school and summer vacation coming up soon and I have enough in savings to where I don’t have to work those months but like
left alone with my thoughts for literal months scares me so bad
my eyes feel so heavy but my desk isn’t really suitable for taking a nap
have a pink mug on my desk filled with pens that says ”Dog Mom” but i guess that’s a lie now ’cuz my baby gone.
blank dead-eyed stare at my laptop and I just
feel really really really low today.
wish it would go away.
need it to go away.
oh, well; guess i’ll go to this staff meeting and see how long i can hold on to this ugly smile
I promise I’m not dead (sorry to disappoint you). I am merely unwell and exhausted physically and mentally. Between work, my sore ankle, sleep deprivation, mental fatigue, food poisoning and head trauma, I’m spent. Drawing prompts and shitposting will resume in a few days. Thank you for understanding.
Thinking about something my new therapist said yesterday. She listened to me talk about the church for a while and asked me a few questions, and then she said something that’s been on my mind ever since.
I’m paraphrasing but she said it sounded like the mechanisms the church used to get members to stay and to feel isolated from the world are still trying to operate in my head, they’re still trying to do what they were designed to do by not letting me move on and let go.
Even though I’ve left and even though I don’t believe anymore, the church’s mental machinery is still trying to keep me isolated, still trying to claw me back.
